Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

One of our listeners had not one but TWO opportunities to be a “Knight In Shining Armor” for his date… so why is she ignoring him after his heroism? We’ll try to find out in your Second Date Update! Get your 2nd Date Update Merch For A Cause HERE!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

45 years ago, a Virginia soul band called the Edge of Daybreak recorded their debut album Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison, but they say they have some unfinished business. The Edge of Daybreak, Eyes of Love, was supposed to have been followed up by another app. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious, one in ten kids vape serious, which warrants a serious

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers and so many other fascinating people like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd. I love writing more than anything. You're left alone. You know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon, go pick up a kid from school and write at night, and after nine hours you come out with seven pages, and then you're moving on. And actor and comedian Jack McBrayer.

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We're so glad you're here, especially to start off your Monday. Yeah. It's Burke and Jeffrey, the home of the second date update. And you found us, we've got a brand new one for you today where you are gonna learn all about the Tao of Steve.

Oh yes, very educational. Did you know about this before, Jose? Yeah, it's a thing. It's a thing. Yeah. Yeah, had you ever abided by the rules? I don't know. I don't really, yeah.

I just kind of randomly get action It's a blessing to me All right, let's find out what it is the show starts right now Second date update We got an email from one of our listeners who says he's been living his life by a dating philosophy That's been circulating on the internet now for about two decades. Oh, absolutely. Two decades.

It's called the Tau of Steve. That is. T-A-O of Steve. And I've not heard anything about this, but according to him, it involves three basic rules that men must live by. Okay. Number one, be desireless. Number two. Ah, I get that one, nobody wants you. Yeah, I'm good at that. I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out. Number two is be excellent. And number

three, be gone. And if you can live by all three of those rules as a man, you will become irresistible to any woman on earth. Even married women, Brooke, so look out. Maybe get your earplugs ready before we talk to him. I love those gone boys. Yeah, we're gonna learn more in a second. First, let's say hello to Bobby, who needs our spiritual guidance today. Bobby, welcome to the show.

Hey guys, how you doing? I wanted you to be Steve, the originator of all of this, but apparently you're Bobby. That works too. Well, we can't be everything, I guess, all the time't be everything I guess all the time I'm doing my best here I'm doing my best isn't calling our show breaking rules one and three already yeah you guys are on to me but it's the desperate situation I need you that's rule number four be desperate Jeffer just didn't get to it yeah so tell us

who's this woman that's making you go against everything you believe in her name is Tori She's super hot and she's super nice and we just had an amazing date and like I don't know Normally a woman would respond to all these philosophical things I've done, but it's completely backfiring on me now Because if you're excited about someone and it's like the first time you've ever felt this way like lean into it like life's too short to be desireless and you could tell sometimes if someone's like purposely waiting to like why to do it yeah next thing you know you end up on this show and you hit your rock bottom so Bobby tell us how did you get to this point like tell us

about your date with Tory how did you know her is it an online thing or no? No, we I met her at a bar I just kind of bumped into her and it had to be desire full in the beginning and then you be desire less Okay, that's how it works. Okay makes sense. No, I'm in the phase between desire listen be excellent and We're waiting outside the restaurant because it's like a popular place you know okay so I had my opportunity to be excellent just come upon me it was awesome what are you excellent at friend oh I'm excited what this opportunity was what happened so this foreign family I'm not sure where they were from I didn't speak

whatever language they spoke. Like vaguely I can tell they're looking for a specific museum, like a really famous museum. OK, so they're like tourists in the area and they need some help. Yeah, exactly. OK. They weren't understanding my direction. So I was just like with my fingers, I was like, I will walk you there. You know, like little like walking man.

Oh, yeah. Just saying most people would pull out Google translate on their phone I will walk you there, you know, like little like walking man People would pull out Google Translate on their phone or pull it up on their phone on Google Maps Yeah, but Google Maps isn't excellent I You're gonna leave your date standing in front of the restaurant while you walk this family Absolutely not. I took her with me. Okay, so now you're demonstrating that you're a guy who's willing to help strangers, you know your way around the neighborhood generally, a lot of excellent qualities there.

You know what a museum is? Yes. Exactly. So did you go straight to the bedroom from the museum, or did you have to do more? Well, you know, if you have the chance to be excellent twice, let's do it twice, and luckily for your boy here, he be excellent twice, let's do it twice.

And luckily for your boy here, he was excellent twice in one night. At the museum, someone needed directions back to the restaurant coincidentally. What'd you do the second time? The second time, we're having dinner. Dinner's like pretty much finishing up and you could just tell like someone dined and dashed, someone hadn't paid their bill. Oh, yeah. Like the waiters were all huddling together and stuff and like it was an expensive bill.

It was a big deal. Yeah. And I took care of the bill and I tipped the waiter just kind of nonchalant like. Oh, wow. That's super nice, bro. I thought you were going to go to hero mode and tackle the Dine and Dasher, but you just took care of it I mean, I think tackling the Dine and Dasher is cool, but it's even cooler to be nonchalant I see how do you do nonchalant after just going over and paying someone else's bill? Like what do you say to Tory when you come back to the table? Well, the thing is you say nothing and you wait for her to question you what was that and then you reveal Wow

Did she fall into that ploy a hundred percent? Oh, she was like what was that? I was like I just took care of it little shoulder shrug. No biggie. No While you're checking your bank statement to make sure it doesn't bounce These things these are investments. Okay, you are investing though, because you know she's gonna think about little things like that. I mean, honestly, it's a gentleman thing to do. Absolutely is. So, we're all impressed.

Did it work on Tori? If you had asked me in the moment, I was like, couldn't be better. Oh. Yeah. I walked her home, we hugged, I gave her a peck on the cheek, said we'd talk. Oh, cute.

And then, it turns out she gone me oh no the goner got gone she never hit me up how long did you wait before you contacted her after the date well I mean like according to the rules I live by and trying to be gone so I was trying to be gone for a while that's your answer right there she thought she got ghosted? I mean, yeah, if you don't hear from someone after a first date, you're not. Yeah, that's a sign.

So maybe your rules are playing against you if you're sticking to them too. Yeah, but like after like four or five days, I just couldn't take it anymore and I just started texting her and I was absolutely desireful, not excellent, and I was pregnant. Oh man.

She broke you. I was pregnant. Oh man Steve would be so disappointed in your behavior when I tell myself I'm gonna eat healthy and then what do you know a whole box Of Oreos ends up in my mouth And now you're reaching out to us Which I think breaks your first rule of like be desireless cuz yep Now you're asking a radio show to show how much you want to hang out Yeah, I mean all the rules are out the window at this point. I want Tori so bad. We're throwing every rule that we know out the window when we come back and call

Tori for you and try to get her to agree to abide by the towel of Bobby and give you one more chance with your second date update right after this. Hold on. You know, you're in a good place when you find yourself abandoning your entire belief system to score a date with a woman. I've abandoned my belief six times since I got to work today. And it feels great. Jeff, I don't know if we could call a dating strategy your belief system. That seems a little dramatic.

Well, that's what Bobby says. He told us he used to live by a dating philosophy called the Tao of Steve, which if you didn't hear, it's basically three rules about demonstrating your value while also not coming across as desperate or too available. Okay. So he stuck to those very strictly until he met Tori and said, screw it, Tori's way too hot.

I need to know why she's not calling me back right now. I mean, he lasted four days until he started incessantly texting her. Exactly. Yeah, with no response. Now, Bobby, I'm assuming you don't want us to tell Tori about your mantra and the rules that you follow, unless you already told her, did you? No, no, no, I didn't tell her my philosophy.

Don't tell her my philosophy. Okay. That's part of it. You don't say it. But also, don't you assume most singles out there try to do the same general thing? Play hard to get, not be too available. Oh, oh. It's pretty common. Be excellent.

Yeah. Yeah, I see it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do. Yeah, but like, this is my secret sauce. Ah, okay. You can't tell him the secret sauce. He's hanging on to it. I think it's admirable that it is a plan, because mine is just drink a lot and hope for the best.

Yeah. So, Bobby, you're in a better spot than a lot of people. And we've all seen you after you drink a lot. Yeah. It's admirable that is a plan because mine is just drink a lot and hope for the best So Bobby better spot than a lot of people and we've all seen you after you drink a lot. It's not Peace sexuality is what I call Yeah, exactly right Let's call Tory. We'll see what she has to say why she's not calling you back. Hopefully she picks up But I'm dialing her number right now. Here we go. Oh, maybe she may not even pick up for us. How odd is she? Yeah. Hello? Hey, we're looking to speak with Tori. Can I ask who's calling?

Yes, you can. We're a radio show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hey, Tori. The whole show's here. I'm sorry. What's going on? We're doing a segment on our show called The Second Date Update where we're trying to help out one of our listeners get in touch with you after you already went on one date with him. Is this like some internet thing or? No, no. It's much more disgraceful. It's a radio thing. Yeah, but it's also a podcast. Focus on the radio part,

that's the cool bit of this because we're just trying to get some answers for Bobby about why you're not hanging out again or even talking to him at all. I mean if it was a date. Okay, I mean you could see it's probably pretty obvious that it's driving him nuts not knowing why you're not calling because. Yeah I mean it's kind of just felt like I was on a date with someone who was giving attention to everyone and everything else except me. Oh, that's interesting. Why do you say that? Even when we first got to the restaurant, we were waiting and he offered to show

some people that were lost away to the museum. But that's nice. Yeah, but I was starving and we lost our reservation. So we had to wait another 30 minutes. No, because you were gone. Oh, I could see that happening. Actually, I'm sorry. Not only that, like if she's in heels, like it's not comfortable to walk.

OK, people to the. So you don't value helping people, you value material things like shoes. Don't come at her like that. Oh, I'm trying to understand where your thought process is. I mean, that was just one part of the day. Like, even when we were inside, he would compliment the wait staff, but... How dare he? He never once complimented me.

Oh, interesting. Oh. That's important. Yeah. You're like the focus of the whole night. That's interesting. Or at least I told the wait staff to compliment you for I was gonna do it directly You because I mean he gushed about you to us about hot and lovely and nice you were he never said anything like that to you No, I mean even when I was in the middle of a story

I was telling him about my vacation to Europe and he got up in the middle of it and went and picked up a napkin somebody else dropped at another table. Whoa. Oh. Oh, he's almost like, this is gonna sound funny, he's almost like too nice to the guy.

No, he thinks she cares about things that she does, like guys think girls are oppressed by those things, not just listening to them, you know? Yeah, and like even at the end, he held the door open for someone else and then went out behind them, not holding the door for me. And didn't hold the door for you, what the heck?

Okay. Do you think he could- He's nice to everyone but you. Here's the thing, obviously he's a kind person. Do you think that he was just nervous and maybe that's why those things didn't happen for you? He didn't seem nervous and he was super nice, polite, talkative with everyone else.

Okay. Okay. But a lot of times guys don't want to like seem too desperate in front of a girl and won't say the thing that they're feeling because it'll make them seem, you know, beta. Which is a thing that's so funny. It's a complex that guys have and-

That's why they slam doors in their face But maybe he was just in his own head too much And we should probably ask him about it because Bobby is waiting on the other line wanting to compliment you profusely I'm sorry what yeah, he's been listening to this call Bobby you there Hey Little sheepish there Bobby anything you want to say to her Tori you didn't like all those excellent things I did I mean, what was the point of me being there if you weren't gonna give any attention or participate in the date at all? I mean, what was the point of me being there if you weren't going to give any attention or participate in the date at all? I mean, you didn't really give me a lot of attention after the date, you know, I gave you a lot of texts and calls and stuff. Why would I do that? Give attention to someone who clearly didn't have the time of day for me? No, that's really, Tori, that's not it.

Okay, so basically. Bobby, wait, hold on. Are you sure you wanna do this? Yeah. Wouldn't it be easier to just like apologize? And compliment her? Yeah, but like, you guys want me to lie there, I don't wanna lie there, I gotta be honest.

Hey. We said compliment her. Yes, okay. That's a lie go for it then Bobby what do you have to tell me like can you hurry up? I've got things to do Okay, okay, so like I live by these these philosophical rules All of which you don't really need to know about. But basically, I was trying to demonstrate value and be excellent for you to other people. Maybe it came off as I didn't care about you,

but I was trying to do these things to show you what I am capable of, like my potential and stuff. I can pick up a napkin so fast. Yes. Yeah, exactly. I can pick up a napkin so fast. No, no, no. I was like, so fast yeah I don't even know what you're

talking about right now like all you have to do is ask me questions and listen and compliment that is a lot to ask for Tori yeah that is so much the thing is complimenting kind of goes against the philosophy that he believes in so no that would be part of being excellent. No, it'd be breaking desire list, but. Yeah, but you do that, he said after the first date. See, this is the whole thing with rules. Like they get so complicated. Why don't you just be a normal human and have a good conversation?

Yeah, let's get rid of laws too. What? Jeff, that doesn't. No structure. I think I know what she's talking about. I think she just doesn't like people who do good things Tori if he would have done those things for the other people and also Listened and complimented you and asked you questions

How would you have felt? I mean it would have been better But I'm not sure why he needed to focus on everything else except our date. Yeah. Look, I can't do all those things. I was already tired doing the other stuff. Oh, God. Yeah. That's a lot, man. So it's one or the other for you, Bobby.

You're either fully thinking, strategizing, or you're doing nothing. He's not a multitasker. Yeah. Like, I'm sorry for being excellent. Okay. That's not the apology that she was hoping for. She really should have stepped in before that. The one thing that he is focused on right now, Tori, his only focus is getting another date with you. That is why he reached out to a radio show to get a hold of you and arrange a second meetup.

And we would pay for it if you're willing to give him a second chance. I think I'm good. I don't want to be with someone who just likes to grandstand. But remember Bobby's not good. He's excellent. So you could level up. I mean now he knows right? Like now the expectations of what you're looking for out there like you might as well give him a chance to make that happen. Don't you think? Yeah I'm listening now. Look you're hot and I'll pick up your napkin and like, you want me to ask you questions. What are you doing next Friday? Let's get dinner.

Nice. Look at that. That was actually the smoothest thing he's ever done. Yeah. Tori, what do you think? I'm gonna pass. Oh. Oh.

We did our best. Oh darn. Honestly, he just, he came on way too strong at the end and acted just like a simp. Oh, simp behavior. A simp? Oh, Bobby. You're back to square one, dude. These rules just don't work for some people.

Like, I'm desire-lish, doesn't work. I'm desire-ful, it doesn't work. I'm excellent, I'm too excellent. I'm gone. I'm too gone. Yeah, welcome to dating women, buddy It's gonna be a long road for you. Still nobody said too excellent but yourself. Look at Jeffrey in the morning You know after thousands of second date calls, I'm starting to notice a trend Sometimes men don't listen very good

Wait, are you just now hearing that? Yeah, I'm like, I don't know if anybody saw this, but even when guys get her like beating over the head with good information, sometimes it just doesn't register for guys. Also, sometimes information doesn't register. Yeah, like it's hard to sometimes change, right? This guy. Sorry, what were you saying? Yeah, like it's hard to sometimes change right what this guy Sorry, what were you saying? This guy was so like stuck on his plan that when it was the problem he couldn't like What is brooks saying Jose

Next time you get angry at a man for not listening, maybe turn your attention to God for making us that way. Yeah. Oh, it's, I see, it's God's fault. Yep, thanks a lot, God. God's fault. Put us in a bad spot over here, but we can put you into a good spot in your dating life if you want some help with that.

At least we'll try. Email the show, we'll call that person who's not calling you back. And two out of the four of us will actually hear what you said. Yeah. Maybe on a good day. I'm just happy to be here.

Go check out all of our second day podcasts wherever you get yours at Brooke and Jeffrey. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Forty-five years ago, a Virginia soul band called the Edge of Daybreak recorded their debut album, Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison, but they say they have some unfinished business. The end of daybreak, eyes of love,

were supposed to have been following up with another app. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's the deal. We gotta set ourselves up. See, retirement is the long game. We gotta make moves and make them early. Set up goals. Don't worry about a setback. Just save up and stack up to reach them.

Let's put ourselves in the right position. Pre-game to greater things. Start building your retirement plan at thisispretirement.org, brought to you by AARP and the Ad Council. Ever wonder what it would be like to be mentored by today's top business leaders? My podcast, This Is Working, can help with that. Here's advice from Google CMO Lorraine Twohill on how to treat AI like a partner. I see AI as an incredible co-pilot. You may use different tools or toys to get the work done,

but AI is just the latest flavor of that. You're still the judge of what good looks like. I'm Dan Roth, LinkedIn's editor-in-chief. On my podcast, This Is Working, leaders share strategies for success. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey sis, it's Dr. Joy from Therapy for Black Girls.

We've had 400 episodes of conversations, growth and healing. So we're celebrating. Join us for a special episode with internationally recognized yogi, Chelsea Jackson Roberts, as she shares wisdom on mindfulness, movement and motherhood. I waited later to have children and I still have exactly what I knew that I wanted. You don't want to miss this special episode. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more

actors, musicians, policymakers makers and so many other fascinating people like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd. I love writing more than anything. You're left alone, you know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon, go pick up a kid from school and write at night and after nine hours you come out with seven pages and then you're moving on. And actor and comedian Jack McBrayer. The most important aspect is the collaboration with people that I like, I trust, are talented.

That has been the most amazing gift to me about this crazy business that we've chosen. Meeting these people who have such diverse talents and you're able to create something together.