Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Blurred Signs

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

The guy in today’s Second Date Update LOST something early in the evening that made the rest of his night unbearably awkward. We’ll help him get his stuff together in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Second Date Update. Sometimes you start a date off and you're already in the hole at a disadvantage. Like when you meet someone on hot Latina match, but you get there and realize, wait a second, I don't speak any Spanish. Not probably the site for you. Her four older brothers sure do. Wait, what? Hola, no hablas burritos? What?'s not locos not doing good i would have my

brothers punch you too one of our listeners tyler knows that he started the night off at a disadvantage we'll get to it in just a second but first tyler welcome to the show hey how are you guys doing oh you're chipper my friend i, I feel like I've been through a lot. If you can't laugh about it, then, you know, I mean. You just cry. Yeah, what are you doing with your life? I like that energy. Well, we're ready to laugh at your terrible first date all the way to the end.

But first, tell us about the girl that you met. Who is she? So I matched with a girl named Allie on a dating app. Okay. I got to be honest, like, I've been swiping left so much just because I feel like I'm zoning in on red flags, you know. But this one, surprisingly, I saw none. Wow. Okay.

That's a rare find for sure. Or a red flag in itself. True. Either she's not going to stay on the market for long or... She's not a used car. It's completely. Oh, that's fair. Maybe that's the wrong way to put it.

I guess it depends on her model. OK, so you took a chance and you and you swiped on her. Yeah, we swiped. I swiped right. And we really bought it on the fact that we both like Asian food. Yeah, we could talk about this for the whole time. It's an easy date set up, right? That you're just going to go get

some sort of Asian cuisine together. Anything, from sushi to noodles, whatever. Is that what you did? Yeah. There was an awesome sushi spot that I hadn't gone to before, but I'd heard such great things about it, and I was like,

hey, do you want to meet there? And she was like, yeah, absolutely. Okay. Is that a red flag that she's so amenable to your first idea yeah like it'd be nice if she had some standards Jeffrey's looking for someone more picky yeah you're supposed to say you want teriyaki instead date over that sounds great though and sushi dates are so fun. So good. Because you share food, you talk about it. How'd it go?

Well, so here's the thing. I was on my way there on the bus, and I kind of got distracted. Yeah. And I look up and realize we're at the spot. And I went and ran. I dove off the bus, made it to the time. Nice. Okay.

All right. As the bus starts to leave, I realized I left my glasses on the bus. Oh. Oh. No. Like your, wait, sunglasses, I'm hoping. Please be sunglasses. No, they're definitely prescription.

They were prescription. Oh, God. Why are you taking your glasses off on the bus? He's probably nearsighted. I'm not completely blind. I got astigmatism, but I mean, things are fuzzy. So she shows up and looks great. I mean, you can't see clearly her features, but.

Do you decide to go through with it or do you call it off at that point? What am I going to do? Hunt down the bus? You're already there. Yeah. All right. I'm like, whatever. I'm going to go in and enjoy myself.

I walk in. I find her. Oh, you're able to see her. Okay. Well, I can see that there's a person. She's like feeling her face. Hold on. Is it you?

You feel beautiful. I led with the name. And when she was like, uh-huh, I was like, okay, I found the right one. Oh, good call. Did you explain what had happened? I did. I was honest with her. I didn't want to just sit there squinting at her.

Yeah. Yeah. It looks like you're angry when you do that. Trust me. But here's where things get a little rough. Uh-oh. What? I can't read the menu.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah, there's so many options at sushi. Yeah, there's a lot of ingredients listed on some of. Yeah. Oh, man. There's so many options in sushi. Yeah, there's a lot of ingredients listed on some of those rolls. Oh, no. I didn't want to just go with a rainbow roll or a spider roll or something. California. But it looked great when I was like, hey, can you read that one again to me?

Like, I mean, I can't. She felt like she was looking into her future of being married at 80 years old, you think? Either I was a geriatric or a toddler. One of the two. So what happens? Does dinner go okay? Well, yes and no. We're not quite that far yet.

Because the waiter came back to tell me that they were out of, like, some of the ingredients for one of the rolls ordered. So you got to go back to the menu? Pick a spicy tuna roll by this point. Yeah, that's on every menu. But, I mean, eventually you get your food, right? Yeah, yeah, but she had to sit there and read the menu to me while the waiter's standing right there. That's so annoying.

So four hours after you arrived, they finally bring out your sushi rolls. We had a fun time until I had to go home and I realized I can't see the number on the bus. Now she's got to guide you to the bus. Or it's a good option to be like, hey, I can't really see.

Maybe do you want to Uber ride together? Put the address in my phone so I can't see that. What do you do? So what we did was we stood there. I just had a nice little conversation while we waited for the bus. And I was like, oh, is this 35? She's like, no, that's 93.

And I was like, oh, okay. All right. Oh, God. Yeah, that's probably not the best look on you. I mean, a bus departure is never a real sexy departure. I advocate for public transportation. Also a good point. Yeah. You know, it's not the hottest look always. Well, did she kiss you or anything? We didn't ask that. is never a real sexy departure. I advocate for public transportation. That's a good point. It's not the hottest look always.

Well, did she kiss you or anything? We didn't ask that, sorry. We had a little hug. You don't kiss at bus stops typically. Oh, come on, Brooke. It doesn't sound hot. And who knows if the person that he hugged was actually Allie at that point. We're going to call her and find out

when we do your second date update right after this. Hold on. We're in the middle do your second date update right after this. Hold on. Second date update. We're in the middle of a second date update with Tyler, who took Allie out for sushi the other day. Problem is he lost his glasses while taking the bus to get there. Oh, man.

And I know Brooke looks down on people who take the bus. She didn't say that. I, along with Alexis and Jose, think it's totally fine, and we 100% support the middle class. You take Alexis as a board? No comment over here. Alexis takes party buses. Okay, yeah, that counts. Meanwhile, Brooke, on the other hand,

has no problem driving her Lambo down the bus lane while giving the middle finger to, quote, the commoners riding public transportation. Dude, all I'm saying is him waiting at the bus lane while giving a middle finger to quote the commoners riding public transportation. All I'm saying is him waiting at the bus stop with her. Not the best exit, you know, not a sexy exit. It doesn't sound better when you say it. Why are you shaming bus riders? I'm not shaming.

You can look sexy waiting for a bus. The awkward part was since Tyler didn't have his glasses, he had to have Allie read off the sushi menu twice and help him find his bus home. So, Brooke, before we call Allie, are there any other demographics you'd like to shame first? Maybe some bicycle riders. You are making me such a villain.

You're making yourself the villain here. I am not. Okay, then say something nice about bus riders. I think riding the bus is great. I think public transportation helps save the world. It's economical. I just think that it's not hot. Did you hear that, Tyler?

She says you smell like pee. I heard that. I heard it. You have to read in between the lines with Brooke sometimes. I heard it. It's better for the environment. I'll say that. Yeah.

Don't feel bad. Don't let her put you down. All right. You guys, I'm just bringing up a possibility. My God. Oh, she's getting mad. She's going to get in her Lambo and drive off. Let's just call Allie here and get to the bottom of this before we lose any other people.

Wait, wait, wait. She's got a Lambo? No, I don't have a Lambo. Not yet. I had a 2006 Subaru until I wrecked it. Now I have nothing. She sent the Lambo back to the shop because the customizations weren't done right. All right, here we go.

Let's just call Allie and see what she has to say. Maybe Brooke is right and Allie was disgusted by the bus thing, too. Did you say disgusted? Oh, my God. We get it. Here we go. Let's just call her. Hello?

Hey, is this Allie? Hi. Yeah, that's me. Hey, Allie. This is Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hi, Allie. Radio? Yes.

Oh, are you A listener? Where's shock to? Uh Sometimes Cool When I can I guess Thanks Oh we're doing something

That I guess you Probably heard on our show before Called the second date update Okay So uh One of our listeners Reached out for a little help Named Tyler

Okay Oh Laugh Is that a good laugh Or is that a A demeaning laugh Yeah it was like a scoff reach out for a little help named Tyler. Okay. Is that a good laugh or is that a demeaning laugh? It was like a scoff. I mean, it's kind of weird. He's reaching out to you guys. Well, you haven't gotten back to him after your date. So he's just a little confused as to why.

I mean, I don't know what to say. Well, I'll tell you what we know about your date is going out to sushi and that Tyler admitted to us that he accidentally lost his glasses and left them on the bus. So it was kind of awkward the entire night. You had to read the menu to him and things like that. Annoying, maybe. Was that annoying? Yeah, and very hard to believe, quite frankly. Wait, what? Hard to believe. you don't believe him about the glasses no not at all i think this is like a whole shtick how would that be a shtick why would he embarrass himself like that on purpose yeah can you explain

he didn't embarrass himself he made it up so what i mean why that's a big accusation there What? I actually had LASIK eye surgery back in the day. So I know what it's like to be like basically blind. So that's why I could see right through him. What do you mean you saw right through him? It was a pretty packed restaurant. And it's interesting that he found me pretty quickly. He didn't ask anybody to show him where I was or, you know, I didn't see him like struggling or looking around. Like he came right up to me. You've had bad vision before. You know, it didn't see him, like, struggling or looking around. Like, he came right up to me. You've had bad vision before.

You know it's a whole scale, right? Like, some people can't see letters very well. Other people, like me, I literally couldn't see anyone's face. But people that can't see other people's faces don't take their glasses off and lose them on the bus. I mean, like, this was, like, totally sus to me. So, like, I kind of actually did my own test. Okay. She pulled out an eye chart and said, please read the lowest line you can.

No, but, like, what I did was we had those, like, nice round chopsticks. They weren't, like, the wooden ones. You know what I mean? This is a good sushi place. I love it. Yeah, that's how you know they're legit. What did you do? And, like, I kind of, like, spun it so it would fall and it would, like, spin to him.

And he caught it. So he could see that and he caught it before it hit the floor. The sushi, the chopsticks rolled off the table and he was able to catch it? He caught it, yeah, firsthand. That's brilliant. It's not. I mean, I don't know. Brooke is acting sus about this whole thing. Ever since the bus stop, Brooke has yeah, firsthand. That's brilliant. It's not. I don't know. Brooke is acting sus about this whole thing.

Ever since the bus stop, Brooke has been like, Because you can't read, like, letters are different than seeing an actual object fall off a table. Of course he'd be able to see it. Someone throw a pen at Brooke. See if it works. He said his vision wasn't that bad. I love seeing how the blind will stand up for their fellow blind. Oh, my God.

Before we take the next step in this call, we need to address what Brooke has been saying here. Why would he do that? Why would why would he lie about having bad vision? What purpose does that serve? I mean, I think I know why. I think it's because, like, when we went outside and he was like, oh, you know, like, I can't see the bus number. Can you take me home? Just give me a ride.

Like, you know, I was around the corner. He was trying to get a ride out of you? Yeah. Like, he, I think this is his thing. Like, oh, I can't see. So, like, let's go to my place. I don't buy it. Someone with.

Let me take my pants off. That's a lot. Yeah, I can't. I can't see my pants. Oh, where's the zipper at? It's so dumb. I'm going to use this, actually. I don't know about.

That would be so lame. I don't know how I feel about this. The only way to really get to the bottom of it is to have Tyler himself come on the phone. And as you know, he's been listening on the other line this entire time, Allie. Unless he's suddenly deaf to Tyler. You there? Yeah, I'm here.

Oh man, Tyler, you got some explaining to do. It sounds like the craziest thing I've ever heard. Honestly, like why would I do something like that? That's just, I mean,

first off, I wasn't like picking up sushi and smacking it on both sides of my face before I put it in my mouth hole. I'm not disabled to that degree. Okay. Okay. Well, how about this, Tyler? Like, I need to ask you, were you playing it up at all? Like leaning into a little bit of the blurriness to get a little sympathy.

I mean, it does sound like he was trying to use it as an opening to get back to her house. Yeah. With that or with the menu. It is a lot. You know what? Let's go all the way and say, what if she's telling the truth? What if she's right? That I made the whole thing up? I'm not saying I did.

I'm not saying I did. What I'm saying, is that the worst thing ever? Oh! I was just saying that. Yeah, using someone's sympathy to get in their pants is not usually a good thing. I'm not saying I was doing that. I'm not saying I was doing that at all. But I'm saying if this is, there's no way I'm going to be able to convince her one way

or the other. So let's say she's 100 percent right. And I was just trying to spend some more time with an amazing person. Are you playing devil's advocate on your side? It's not a bad it's not a bad strategy. It's a good move. But what I'm hearing here, Tyler, is that you did maybe play it up a little bit more than you had to just to get onto Allie's good side. I'm just saying that there's – I'm not saying that –

Oh, my God. I'm just saying that I'm bored from this conversation. You talk a lot. Oh, Allie's not quite an idiot. Oh, God. Wrap it up. It's taking forever. You know what?

I'm with Allie. I'm a little bit bored here too, so I'm just going to ask. Allie, we'd like to send you out on another date with Tyler with his glasses on this time, so no excuse. No, I mean, he made this up. It was extremely desperate and pathetic, and I believe he's done this

a few times before, and it's got to stop. I was all on Tyler's side until he started talking. It does sound like he's... You know, that's fine, guys. That's fine. You know, if she doesn't want to go on a date with me. I will say, I've got another girl that I'd like you guys to call, and I just

can't quite see her number. Oh! What a don! Oh, man. I think we should make this work, you know? Uh-huh. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. The funny thing is, after we got off the air, he really did email over a few numbers for us to call.

Are you serious? No way. I thought he was kidding. What? That guy. Dude, what a shtick. Dude. I was totally defending him, too, the whole time.

You really were. I know. I believe you, too. There's all kinds of different vision problems. Well, that's the truth. Maybe it really does work, though. Maybe a little sympathy move is the way to go. That is never the way to go, Jeffrey.

Well, and you know what? It does make me think twice about helping people across the street when they say they can't see. Oh, my God. Anybody else with me? Oh, really, Grandma? Really? She's like, I'm scared. Yeah, but you don't need that cane either.

My hip. I'm just saying, lesson learned. Can't trust anybody. That's not the lesson. Not even us. But if you do want to trust us, you can always email the show. We'll call the person who's been calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.