Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Bumble Bro

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

One of our listeners found a strange picture of his date online before they even met in person… and it might have kickstarted a budding romance between them. Hear what happened in a new Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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When you think about meeting the one, you have this little mini movie in your mind about how that perfect meeting is going to go. You know, like you lock eyes across a crowded bar and you both silently say hey to each other. Or she catches you when you slip on a banana peel in the hospital cafeteria. Little slapstick moment, huh? Is the coconut pie involved, Jeff? You accidentally touch hands as you both reach for the plane's emergency exit latch as the whole room fills with smoke. No, you go. No, you go. No, you first.

Yeah. You know, romantic, cute stuff like that. We both have extreme anxiety. But one of our listeners, Daria, admits that her first meeting wasn't really rom-com quality. That's okay. But let's talk to her about it a little bit. Daria, welcome to the show. Hi. Hi, Daria. Hi. I'm so excited to talk to her about it a little bit. Daria, welcome to the show. Hi.

Hi, Daria. I'm so excited to hear your story about how you met this person. Oh, well, how we met was definitely weird. It's not romantic whatsoever. Okay. Well, can we start with his name or her name? Derek. His name is Derek. Okay. And this is, I'm sorry to jump to conclusions,

but this is like the one? This is someone you- No, I think that was just- That was just me building it up probably a lot bigger than it really is. I thought you said like this is the one. No, he's just trying to get people to pay attention to this. Well, you got me paying attention. So-

Okay, continue. How was it weird when you first met? Well, he DMed me on Instagram. Ew, weird. No, weird. That's normal. Oh, yeah. That's normal, Paul. I think that's pretty normal. What's weird about that?

That wasn't really the weird part. The weird part was that he said, I saw you on Bumble. I'd love to meet up for coffee. Oh, okay. Wouldn't that be a red flag, though, that he's already stalked you down, or no? You can put your Instagram in your Bumble.

Yeah, you link your socials in there. No, the weird part was,'m not on bumble oh wait that's weird that's even more do you think it was just a line like he was just hoping that you're a bumble just spamming a bunch of girls with that yeah it's just like a copy paste line that he puts on everybody's i mean that would have been better because i I told him that he had the wrong person I'm not on Bumble and then he sent me a screenshot of the Bumble account and it was all my pictures

it was my name but I didn't set that up someone's using your pics as a cat fan which means you're attractive what did you say I kind of freaked out I was like oh my that's me but it's not me

I didn't set that up and Derek's like well I already gave it all my credit card information he was actually really nice about it he was like I'm so sorry you must feel so weird I'll report it but then he like asked if I still wanted to go out nice about it. He was like, I'm so sorry. You must feel so weird. I'll report it. But then he asked if I still wanted to go out.

I mean, at that point, maybe you're a little bit more receptive to it because he's not just randomly doing it to you out of the blue. Kind of disappointing that he's the only one that showed up in your DMs. Your account was linked, but okay. That's a good point. Yeah, I mean, I was up for it because, I don't know, he reported the account.

He was really nice about the whole mix-up. And he was hot, let's be honest. He was hot. Yeah, hot enough. I mean, this is more romantic than I was even leading on, I think. What did you guys do for your date? We just met up for coffee. It was very simple.

I didn't really know what to expect from him. Okay. Well, I guess you would have zero expectations when you weren't even looking for a date to begin with. You hadn't even seen his profile. You don't know. Well, but his Instagram. She would have seen his Instagram.

Yeah, but that's all I really had to go off of. Okay. He turned out to be, well, one, he was really cute. I already knew that. He was also really nice and it was very like comfortable and we were laughing a lot he thought his latte art looked like a bird and i was and it didn't it was just squiggles okay i called him out on that it was very funny it was like cute it was cute i think that's a nice word interpretive latte yeah okay how long how long did the date last because like coffee is like

25 minutes 30 minutes so this is the part that i i don't know it at about 20 minutes he said i'm so sorry but i actually have to get going oh which i guess could have been bad but then he was like but i really want to see you again um let's go out again sometime. I left feeling kind of good about it. But he just said sometime. I feel like you need to say let's go out Saturday. I'm free next weekend. Book it like a doctor's appointment

right when you leave. It's like when I run into friends that I don't really want to hang out with and I'm like, oh, we should totally get together sometime. Yeah, soon. It is like a doctor's appointment because I book it to their face and then I cancel it. But not to their face. Okay.

So how long ago was that? This was a couple weeks ago. Oh, wow. Have you heard nothing from him? I've heard nothing from him. And it's just weird because, like, I wasn't looking for this guy. Right. He came out of the blue

and now i find myself like thinking of him and wishing we could go out again but yeah he's not responding is he posting a bunch on instagram like on his stories or anything like yeah he's alive and i know he's alive maybe he was like traveling we're starting with he's alive and that's a pretty good place to start at with these second date updates. So hopefully we can go up from there. We've started in worse places. It's sad to say, but yes, that's true. So let's call this a live guy.

Oh, there you go. That's a good start. When we do your second date update next. Second date update. Well, it's another first for us about how people meet in the dating world. Oh, for sure. Because one of our listeners, Daria, got a DM recently on her Instagram from a dude who said he saw her on Bumble and thought she was cute. Yeah, which is a good DM to get.

Yeah. Except for... One problem. She's not on Bumble. At least not to her knowledge until she received a screenshot of the profile using her pics and her information. We didn't ask. Did that profile get taken down? Well, she told him to report the fake account.

Right. But if only one report. Well, we can follow up with that. The important thing was afterwards, he boldly asked her out to coffee anyway, and she said yes. Yeah. And now they're in love. No. Now he's not calling her back. Oh, okay. Yeah, after 20 minutes together. out to coffee anyway and she said yes yeah and now they're in love no one step away from true dating is easy right Daria yes totally my question is why

Brooke haven't we seen any reports about people using your pictures as a fake profile on Bumble? What's going on with that? You're a celebrity. Maybe it's not fake, Jeff. What? I'm kidding. That's a joke. I thought that would be funny.

I don't know how I thought you'd react. Spoken a little bit too much conviction there. You know, I'm glad that I didn't have to do online dating because I like to win people with my personality. Yeah. How's that going for you? It got me married. And I'm very happy in my marriage. The bar is low.

Oh, my God. All right. So now I've lost track of what we're doing. Daria. Yes. There we go. We're back to you and your guy, Derek. You ready to do this?

How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. I'd feel worse after everything we just said i don't know i'm excited to hear from him yeah i'm excited too i think it's going to turn out just fine okay yeah you're all over the place yeah there's she thinks that you should feel worse about yourself but it's gonna go fine i just mean about her confidence in us okay i don't know bro Maybe just be quiet. I don't think that's a bad idea.

Let's find out. Here we go. Yo, what up? This is Derek. Yo, what up, Derek? Hey, Derek. Hey. I feel like we're friends already.

I know. That was a nice way to answer. Whoa, what up, Derek? Hey, Derek. Hey. I feel like we're friends already. I know. That was a nice way to answer. Very friendly. Whoa, what is this? This is a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh, my God. Wait. No way. Oh.

Okay, radio, radio, radio words. We're not allowed to say some of that stuff. Yeah. Oh, my bad. No, okay. Okay. We got a live one. You know us? Yeah, one. You know us?

Yeah, dude. You know what? Man, I was wondering when you guys were going to call me about something. Like, I listen to you guys all the time. Oh. Really? Your life's such a mess. You think we would call you that often?

We're just sitting around waiting for a prank phone call. I'm going to get them one day. I like you. I like this a whole lot better than a lot of the calls that we do where they're like, who? Radio? What? Today's your big day. We called you. Do you know what we're calling you about? Man, I don't know, but you guys are freaking awesome.

I mean, is this that, like, dating segment thing you guys do? Yeah, the dating one. Second date. Yeah, this is awesome. Okay. This is awesome. So you probably know who I'm calling about then. God, man, I – no, I really can't say. Who are you calling about? Oh, okay.

Her name's Daria? It was a couple weeks ago she said that you guys went out. Ah, Daria. Man, a couple weeks – did we go like a week? Was it like a week ago? Or maybe it was a couple weeks. Oh, man. Dude, you know, I just, I can't remember. I really have coffee with everyone.

Oh. You have coffee with everyone? I mean, yeah, I like to hang a lot. I'm pretty active in the dating scene. You know, like women, women like me, you know. Okay. You've got coffee dates common wait i'm confused do you remember daria yeah you do not remember daria yeah i do remember her i do i do she just

didn't crack my top three you know i just i just really wasn't feeling her man she was close let's go back a little bit here's the thing man i date a lot so it lot. So it's like all these girls are just kind of like mid to me. You know what I mean? So she's got to really just like stand out. But the thing that we're trying to figure out about Daria is like you went through a lot of trouble to get her on a date with you. It sounded like. Oh, man, dude. Yeah, I mean.

I guess there's a lot of trouble. I mean, I've pretty much perfected it by now. So it's not really a lot of trouble. Perfect mean, I've pretty much perfected it by now, so it's not really a lot of trouble. Perfected what? Perfected what? What do you mean? Getting dates? Here's the thing.

So I came up with this, like, foolproof way to basically get girls to go out with me. It's, like, 80% effective. Okay. Okay. 80% is not the correct math for foolproof, but okay. Tell us about it. What do you do?

Okay, so, look, I reach out to these women, you know, and I say, like, found you on Bumble, yada, yada, yada, let's speed up. I send them a screenshot of their Bumble account that I created, bro. Like, I went on their Instagram. What? Wow. Yeah, I'm like, hey, is this you? And they always freak out.

Yeah, because someone's impersonating them online. So here's the thing. I'm like, hey, is this you? And they always freak out. Yeah, because someone's impersonating them online. So here's the thing. I'm a hero. I come flying in with my little cape. You know what I mean? So I tell them, I'm like, hey, don't worry about it, baby. I'll report the site. And then when they're their most vulnerable, I ask them out, right?

And they're like, oh my god, yeah! You trick them into dating you. It's not a trick. It's not a trick at all. It's real, right? There's somebody created this Bumble account. But it's you. It's like how Batman lets all the villains out of jail

and then recaptures them. So he's the hero. And we all love Batman. That's true. If all the villains are locked up forever, Batman goes away. Exactly. I love Christian Bale.

Alexis. It worked for Alexis. And who knows? Maybe it worked for Daria too, hearing that, because I didn't let you know this earlier. Since you listen, you probably know that she's on the other line

wanting to talk to you. Oh, s***. Yeah. I forgot that's how this works daria you're still there oh man daria yeah i'm still here that's a good sign yeah how you feeling there daria uh i'm not gonna be here for much longer. Why? Why, Jeff? What happened? I'm sorry. Is everyone hearing the same thing I am?

You like superheroes, right? Insane. Yeah, Jeff was being sarcastic. You create fake Bumble accounts of women by scraping their pictures from Instagram? Sorry, listen. Listen, baby. I got to stand out, man. You know, dude, there's so many games out there people play. Don't be mad just because

I have the best game out there. I got you going to date with me, right? Are you 12 years old? You sound like a 12-year-old who read pickup lines on the internet. No, this is not a pickup line. This is advanced women

gathering. Oh, advanced women gathering. Advanced women gathering? I took that course in college. Are we like wood? Are we like timber in a forest? We're literally not Pokemon. You don't got to catch us all.

Why not? Why not? I got you to go on a date, right? You're not trying to settle down with one? You want to just date every girl you can find, bro? Yeah, why not? I think the why not is because it ends up hurting the women's feelings

like Daria just now. And it's lies. All the girls don't take me on these radio shows and try to get a second date. It's just like, hey, if it didn't work out, it didn't work out. Move on to the next guy. You got to call me on the radio. You're right. I'm the psycho one. I mean, I guess the one nice thing is he didn't use you for anything.

Yeah. It's not like he like took your money or like you guys. Free coffee. You guys are not taking his side on this after you've heard everything. No, no, no. We're not taking his side. We're just trying to lessen the blow. I mean, he could just really love coffee. Because he just goes on coffee dates every day. you've heard everything. No, no. We're not taking his side, but we are pointing out some of the positive things.

I mean, he could just really love coffee because he just goes on coffee dates every day at South Park. It's because it's cheaper than cocktails. There it is. We are not on his side

in any way. It's not cool to use a fake profile to get somebody to respond. Maybe you should like, sorry, Derek, I love that you listen, but maybe he should also

be reported to Bumble. I mean, we'll see. Oh, that'll see. That's a great idea. Where are we going to find him? We don't have you girls to do all the work. No, Brooke already has an account. She confirmed it earlier. Thank you, Brooke. That was a weird joke.

I'm going to say that it's real and you're going to be the hero for the day. Congratulations, Brooke. We'll see you on Bumble, Brooke. Brooke and Jeffrey for the day. Congratulations, Brooke. We'll see you on Bumble, Brooke. Thank you, Brooke. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. A text to 78592 says, if guys are resorting to this now in order to meet single women,

I'm making my Instagram private. Dude, seriously. Yeah, it got weird there. Alexis, are you worried this might happen to you? Because we already covered it's never happening for Brooke. Wait, what? The cheap posts are her hugging her children while they try to escape. Wait until you're self out of that.

Good job. I mean, it's kind of like we mentioned it is kind of a compliment. It's a humble brag. Girls are like, they chose me to scam Brooke. Compliments are so bad these days that you think that's a positive. They still picked me. He's psycho. I'm psycho. Compliments are so bad these days that you think that's a positive? They still picked me. Yeah.

He's psycho. No, but it's a fact. I'm psycho. Who isn't? All right. But guys are definitely trying hard to be smarter about getting women to try and date them, that they're willing to do pretty much anything. Yeah.

Yeah. Like scam them. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, trick them. I do feel like what Derek did was borderline illegal. I don't know that, but it's definitely a big invasion of privacy and the authorities could show up at his house. I always think it's funny when the brag is like how many women you get, but you're still very single.

Something's not adding up here. But Derek, you listen to our show and we appreciate that. We don't expect people with high moral compasses to be here. We're cool, man. And if you don't have a high moral compass or if you just want some help with your dating life, you can always email us. We'll call that person who isn't calling you back.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed

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