Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Cake By The Tesla

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

The guy from today’s Second Date brought his dinner date back to his place, but before the magic could begin.. something tragic happened!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. Second Date Update. How much does what a guy drives work on impressing a girl? I think it depends on the girl. Maybe it depends on the car, too. Yeah.

How about a classic Aston Martin? Whoa. Or a shiny new Bugatti? That's really fancy. I just think the guy driving that is really old. Which isn't always a bad thing. What about the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile? Oh, man, now we're talking. If your date shows up and you look out the window and see he's parked the big wiener out in your driveway,

you're thinking, well, don't need underwear tonight. I know where this is going. And one of our listeners, Kenny, flexed his ride during his date. We're going to find out what that is in just a bit. But first, Kenny, welcome to the show, man. Hey, guys, how you doing? Thanks for having me. Okay, Kenny, it sounds like whatever you...

You drive a big wiener? No. No. I was going to say you were proud of whatever you drive but i guess same same jose i took away both yeah like i said we'll get to your sexy vehicle in just a second first tell us about the girl that you went out with what's her name her name's ellie and uh you know i usually don't find too many women out there and so i went on plenty of fish kind of connected but the one thing she had this tattoo

of a phoenix like on her neck coming out her back oh wow a neck tattoo smoking hot bro i'm a sucker for any chicks with tattoos okay yeah you're thinking that she makes questionable possibly drunk decisions that will stay with her for the rest of her life she didn't read as an art lover yeah no probably not yeah so we linked up, went out, got some food. You know, I paid for it, got shocked here and there. Didn't try to overdo it. Can I ask you, were you just looking for like a night of fun or do you want like more than that?

Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to be over pushing, I should say. But yeah, if it's there, and I think we kind of had some connections, I definitely want to go to another level. Okay. Not emotional level. I think we're talking just physical level right any type of level i can get to next so is that why you brought up the type of car that you drive try and impress her a little i can't remember how we got on it but it was talking about electrical vehicle thing and i'm

like oh i have a tesla oh it's Tesla. Right. It was like my moment. I could actually shine. And I mean, I milked it. Well, I like the thing with Teslas. I mean, it's definitely like a status symbol, right? But then there's also a curiosity. Like, if you've never been in one, like, what are they like? Yeah.

I don't even know cars. But like, when I hear that, I'm like, ooh. Yeah. It's pretty fun. What'd she think when she said you had a Tesla? She was a little impressed. She was impressed. So, so you know i took her out there and showed her oh wait so you guys went outside of the bar wherever you were and and just sat in your car and looked at it well not just sat in it you know i kind of pulled it out the spot and showed her the handsfree you

know the whole yeah you're like let me show you the car. Hey, come here, Tesla. It just drove itself out of you. He's like, why are your hands in your pocket? Yeah, that's cool, man. It is pretty cool. I'm jealous. It freaks me out when cars drive themselves. Does it? More than if a Lexus drives it?

Yeah, I would prefer the car. Actually, that's a good point. I mean, I don't know. Were you able to calm her down a little bit? Well, yeah, once I took my hands out of my pocket and took control again but you know i even asked her if she wanted to drive but she wasn't up for that you know i think i kind of got her enough see that makes me think that she wasn't as into it as you thought like if she was into cars and you offered to let her drive she'd be like heck yeah let's do this

then again i think she saw those youtube videos where people were like on the e-way just walling out so i think that's kind of what it was. But I don't blame her. But night goes on and we move to another location trying to be discreet. Long story short, I offered her some cake. Cake? Wait, are we at a restaurant? Are we at your house?

Where are you giving her cake? Okay. I got her back to my spot for a nightcap. That's why I was trying to be discreet. I didn't want to put it out there. Okay. And you just had a cake right in the middle. I didn't even drive here.

The Tesla drove itself here. So it's really... Yeah, I don't know. Tesla's quite the wingman. Dude, that is such a move to have cake at your house. I never thought of it. But if I got back to a dude's house after a couple of drinks, it was like, you have a decadent chocolate cake at your house?

Of course she's going to go up there. But look, we're vibing. You know, we're talking about the tattoos. She's telling me how she has other tattoos. You know, I can't see those yet. You know, so I'm like, oh, let me, you know, this cake usually is a whole run winner. And, you know, she kind of didn't want it. But then I'm kind of, I don't want to say I forced it,

but I'm like, when in Rome, you can't go there and not see the Colosseum. So when in my home. Is that how the saying goes? But truthfully, I'm not sure

if I was a little too pushy. You know what I mean? About seeing her other tattoos? No, no, no, no, no, no. About the cake. Oh. So wait, you're saying that

she didn't want the cake when you offered it to her? Initially, but I kind of did twist her arm. I wasn't thinking about it then, but the next day I'm like, hmm, that kind of was a little pushy. She could have been on a diet. She could be diabetic or something where she stays away from sugar. Yeah, but why wouldn't she just say that if she was diabetic?

I mean, that's just like upfront info. In the end, like, she just never had a bite i mean you were super pushy though if you're like no eat it eat it seriously i get scared i would say i was excited okay that makes sense so after she left have you been able to get in touch with her at all you've been calling or texting uh yeah i haven't been able to get in contact with her like like, at all. It's hard. I don't know women who don't work on cake as a reward, so I don't know how much I can help.

This one's really throwing Brooke for a loop, so we need to play a song, let her reset. We'll come back. We'll call Ellie for you and try and get you your second date update, okay? All right, brother. All right. All right, hold on there. Second date update. In the long, tumultuous history of this show, we've never heard anything quite as shocking

as what Kenny just told us, that his date actually turned down an offer for free cake. And this is after a very fun, very sexy night filled with wine, self-driving Teslas, and Phoenix neck tattoos. So when we heard what happened, we were all baffled. And just praying that there's some sort of logical explanation for this. Maybe she's on a diet. Maybe she had some sort of traumatic run-in with an evil cake in her childhood.

And it scarred her permanently for life. The only way to find out is to actually call Ellie and ask her, why do you hate cake and why won't you date Kenny? Maybe we ask the Kenny thing is more important than the cake thing. I'm more concerned about the cake, to be honest. Kenny, did the cake go to waste or did you finish it all by yourself that night? Oh, yeah. I took care of the cake. You didn't have to worry about that.

Oh, there you go. She had her chance. Just Kenny all by himself eating his cake. Aw, buddy. It is Tesla. Yeah, well, hopefully you don't have to do that and you can get somebody to split it with you if we can get a second date here. I'm going to dial Ellie's number right now and we're going to do our best.

All right? Are you ready? All right, Let's go. All right. Here we go. Kick update. Hello. Hi, is this Ellie? This is she. Hi, Ellie. I'm calling from Brooke's Bakery. We heard that you refused to try a sample of our cake the other night. Oh, she's laughing. Really? No, I'm just kidding. You have a good sense of humor, though, Kelly.

Like a bakery would be that aggressive with anybody? No, we're actually a morning radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. And you're on it now. i i know you guys i mean i i don't listen to the radio that often but when i do i i've definitely listened to you guys sometimes well good news you can also find our podcast on spotify or wherever you get your podcast just no excuse just streaming at work right yeah that's right exactly any day all day so what's up guys oh no we're just hounding all of the people in the area, telling them to listen to our podcast. That's what we do now. Oh, man.

Where desperate ratings are horrible. Please, please Google us. That was sarcasm. Yeah, sorry. See, I'm not very good at anything on this show, including being funny. But the truth is that we're doing something called a second date update. And we're looking to help out one of our listeners that went out on a date with you recently named Kenny. Oh, no.

I thought this was going to be a fun surprise. It is. It still is. So Kenny, is it fun? Oh, no. He was great. He was lots of fun. It just, the second part of the date wasn't.

Oh. Oh. So you liked the first part, though. I mean, we could concentrate on the positive for a second yeah yeah no he was really fun he took me out in his tesla i never done that before yeah we actually spoke to kenny for a little bit and he seemed really cool and he made us laugh he seemed like a funny guy to us yeah good energy yeah he's very very very funny okay so wait so you're like having a great time you're planning on i'm guessing like calling this guy back like you're feeling good what happened

why why did it change oh i mean he took me back to his house which cool you know i was comfortable with that okay and like you know we're sitting on the couch and his phone went off he got a text or some kind of a notification. And he got up and walked out of the room. Maybe he had to take an important call. But then I heard the front door open. What? And then he left. He walked out. Oh, okay.

Well, just so you know, we asked Kenny about his version of the day and he didn't mention any of that to us. He left his own apartment while you were in it? Is that what you just said? I don't think he wanted me to know that he left, but he definitely left. Was there like, I mean, maybe a delivery of some sort?

Maybe he had to pass gas and didn't want to do it in front of you. I was going to say that, dude. I was literally going to say he could have had to toot. That would have been better than what actually happened, okay? What actually happened? What actually happened is I was curious. So I went and I looked out the side window, and I saw him on the side of the building between him and the neighbor.

I don't know whose it was, but he opened a trash can. And it was dark out, but not that dark. And he's ruffling around in the garbage, and he comes out with a box. From the trash? Yeah. And so he turns around to come back in and so i ducked and i ran back to the couch and he walked in with a box of cake oh probably dumpster cake i thought it was like gonna be a drug deal or something

even in the dumpster my drug box is here yeah he mentioned to us that he offered you some cake but he didn't say anything about getting it out of the trash can all these things are going through my head i'm like is his neighbor on the lookout to see the other neighbor's a baker and they just threw their you know scraps out for the day or something this is the conspiracy cake theory that you came up with i would love that so that's why you turned down the cake. I would too. I turned down the cake and then that was it for me on Kenny. Did it look like fresh cake or cake

that had been eaten on? Don't eat dumpster cake, Brooke. It doesn't matter. You didn't just blow on it, silly? I guess if I'm reading this right, unlike Brooke, you're not a dumpster cake kind of woman. No, no.

Plus, he lied to me about it. You didn't ask him? How could you not ask him? Like, is this dumpster cake? I mean, I would just. It was a first date. I didn't want him to, like, know that I went and spied on him out the window. Okay.

Yeah. I get that inclination to not want to mention that you're spying. And that's exactly why Kenny didn't want you to know that he's secretly listening on the other line right now. And he wants to talk to you. No. Are you serious right now? How you doing, Al? Oh, you guys, that's doing me dirty here.

Come on. You said you listened to the show. I had no idea he would be on the line. You got it all wrong, Elle. Oh. What did she get wrong? Where'd that boss come from? Okay, so my next door neighbor, she's an elderly woman.

And when I told her I was going on a date, she thought it would be a good idea to give me the cake. Remember the cake I tried to get you? Wait, there's a grandma that lives in your apartment building who made you a cake and put it in the garbage for you to pick up? No, no. So she texted me and she was saying, hey, I got you a nice sweet treat, the kind you like. And while I was out there, you know, she just sat it on top of the dumpster. It wasn't in the dumpster. But now that I know you were watching me, it makes sense. I can see where you might think I got it out the trash, but no.

All she saw was you picking up from the top of the dumpster. Why would the old woman put the cake on top of the dumpster? Because the way our apartments are, she didn't want to sit it on my step. It could be seen from the street, but kind of where the dumpsters are is kind of like. Cake thieves out there. Yeah. His apartment's not wheelchair accessible. She can only get to the trash can.

She has to drop it off there. She was just doing a nice thing. I was trying to just, like, do a nice thing. And I thought you would like the cake. I didn't know you thought I was dumpster diving. Ellie, do you believe him? I kind of believe his story. I mean, of all the scenarios that ran through my head,

that's the only thing that makes any sense at all. I mean, we don't know Kenny that well, but I buy his story. I'm on the fence. I'm on the fence. I can't tell. What's the woman's name? I mean, what are the pastries does she give you? Why would he lie and eat dumpster cake in front of her?

Yeah. Like confidently. Because he didn't know that she saw. Why would he eat it? But he's eating it himself. I don't think that that is my issue with the whole thing. I think my issue is why that's the meeting point for their baked goods.

It's a second date update. Are we really focused on the right thing, on the logistics of how the cake got to where it got to? Well, it's important to know if he's lying or not. I mean, I'm being honest. I don't know what to tell you. I don't eat dumpster food. I believe him, guys.

I believe him. You believe him. That's all that matters. Okay. We'll get Cake CSI to look in on you and launch a full investigation on where the cake was placed exactly. I don't know why I care. I would have eaten the dumpster cake even if it came from the dumpster. The real thing that we care about on the show is whether or not you and Kenny had a connection, Ellie.

That's what we want to get to the bottom of. Yeah, if it wasn't for the garbage, I would go on 10 more dates. All right. Well, now that we've solved the cake mystery around the garbage cake, we'd like to offer to send you out on a second date and we'll pay for it. I guess that kind of makes up for like sneakily having him on the other line. Yeah, I would love to take you up on that. That's very generous. All right, Kenny.

I mean, I'm glad you guys are for that. But the real thing is like she was like spying on me and like she could have like averted all this if she was just communicating. Okay, good luck finding a girl that doesn't spy on you. That's like mandatory. Yeah. So wait wait what are you saying then bro are you saying you don't want to date anymore i'm kind of good bro what no way after you guys are doing too much for me man i mean she tried to explain it but i'm a trash picker to her oh no and she didn't even communicate it. I'm done. Have a nice lifetime, Elle. Oh, God.

It could be the spine thing is just the tip of the... Have fun with your dumpster cake, you loser. He's trying so quickly. His neighbor, Betty Crocker, is going to be really upset. I just want that to be our new show slogan. Have fun with the dumpster cake, you loser.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's

because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else like them. More of you dating with intention. Because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year. And find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast. But the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast.

Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind

the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the i Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.