Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Carjitsu Crazy

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

One of our listeners is actually ELITE in a unique sport we had never heard about before today’s Second Date Update!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you by the IHOP Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.

Second Date Update. If you put something on your dating profile or your dating app and everybody thinks it's a joke, but it's 100% serious, what are you supposed to do? Just go with it. You roll with it or do you correct them every time? Laugh at yourself a little bit. For example, on my J-Date profile, I wrote, My mom made this dating account without my permission. Because she is that desperate for me to find love. Wait, after you made the profile, you didn't take that part?

I thought she did make it for you. She did. And then I took it over and I was like, I didn't make this. My mom did. Oh, but you went with it you. She did. And then I took it over and I was like, I didn't make this. My mom did. Oh, but you went with it still. I did. Interesting. The women did not think it was funny.

Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not a woman, so I think it's funny. Yeah. And one of our listeners. They saw the truth in it. Yeah. Bro to bro, that's hilarious. One of our listeners knows exactly what it's like to be misunderstood on the dating apps.

His name is Mike. So, Mike, welcome to the show, man. Hey, how you guys doing it did say in your email that women do not believe what's written on your bio is actually real what's on there so yeah i put on my profile that i'm a car jitsu expert a what car jitsu car jitsu not jiu-jitsu no see brooke this is why get confused. Even just the word doesn't make any sense to people. What does it mean? You, like, grapple with automobiles? Well, everyone thinks it's a made-up term, right?

Or, like, a funny way to say, like, I'm a mechanic or something, right? That sounds like that. Is it not? You didn't make that up? But no, but I do it. It's a real sport. And I sent you guys a video clip of my email. Yeah, I do have the video clip that you sent. Let me take a video clip in my email yeah i i do have the video

clip that you said let me take a second to show my co-hosts because they have not seen this yet are you ready to look yeah yeah yeah okay oh i've seen this oh they're doing jujitsu inside a car they're fighting in a car doors closed oh my god they're in the back seat now if i saw the beginning of this video i would think it was not something that was suitable for work. And you know, it's literally street fight. Well, it's car fighting. Yeah. But it's true. They're doing to Jitsu in the car.

This is how it works. Right. At the start of the match. You have two people sit in the driver's seat and one in the passenger's. OK. OK. So now once the match start, both fighters, we just unbuckle ourselves. And we just attempt to get at the other person.

We just attempt to, like, subdue them in the vehicle. Oh, this is like Brooke and her husband at makeout point. Yeah, right when they park. It's like, seatbelt, get over here. Who can pin the other? I mean, spoiler, but I always win. I'd put money on you. Okay, I mean.

Five minutes in and out, Brooke. Is it frustrating that people don't know what this is, or are you okay with that? Yeah, all the girls ask me about it, and they get really confused. Isn't that why you put it on your profile, so you could send them videos of you sexily grappling with men? Well, first of all, I put it on my profile because they ask you what your job is, right? And that's my job. What?

You make a living out of it. Car jitsu expert. Yeah, so I travel around internationally for this. Oh, wow. Europe, even Asia once. Cool. You know, slap boxing is huge in all these other countries right now. And people think it's hilarious in America,

but it's like literally generating millions of dollars. There's lots of strange, unusual sports that people don't know about. And it's good that we have a backup plan for when our careers go down the drain so i'm gonna do that pony prancing one where you act like a yeah i like that show horsing thing but i'm sorry mike that we spent like 10 whole minutes trying to break down what car jitsu is but it's fascinating though so how does this get into you and your date that you went on yeah so pretty much all the girls ask me about it, right? And they get really confused.

But Catherine, she said she's actually seen it online before. Okay. And Catherine is the woman that we're going to be calling today. You found the one person that knew what this was. That's cool. So did she, like, take a huge interest on your date? Yeah, that really helped me break the ice with it. Okay. Where'd you go? We went to a bar, and it was going all right. So did she like take a huge interest on your date? Yeah, that really helped me break the ice with her.

Okay. Where'd you go? We went to a bar and it was going all right. But things started getting a little out of hand when we started drinking. In a fun way or a bad way? Well, she basically stood up and said, my boyfriend will take anyone on in Karjitu. Oh.

Oh. Oh, no! Oh, but she called you her boyfriend, so that's kind of cute. Right? Do you like that, or do you not like that? I loved it. Oh! Okay. Wow!

She actually pulled out her phone and showed these videos to a few tables. Oh! So she was proud of you, though. Okay, yeah, that's not horrible. But everyone was laughing. It does look funny. The move from the front seat to the back seat was... It's pretty funny.

You roll into the back seat with another grown man. Especially if you don't know jujitsu. You don't know what's happening. Yeah, just like rolling around fighting in a car. Were you offended that there was laughter? Well, I get it's kind of different when it looks unusual and a little funny. But I've been training for this for years, you know. And I do make a decent amount of

money from it you know like i'm living from it as long as it makes sense to you that's all that matters so but i mean did that ruin your date because it sounds so good like she called your boyfriend she yeah but afterwards she realized that maybe she was getting a little bit out of control okay maybe she's embarrassed no well she kept saying you're mad and and like really i wasn't mad but i was kind of getting annoying annoyed that she kept telling me that i was you've been there you are mad i know i'm really not i'm going to be if you keep saying that it really does sound like they're in a relationship already and the fact Does it? And the fact that she was like, look at my man. That's a good thing.

You don't want to let her go. I understand why you reached out to us. What's happened since that night? Pretty much, bro, she's not calling. Okay. All right. And do you have any idea why? She might be embarrassed because she was a bit drunk,

but I don't take anything about it. I still think she's an amazing girl. Okay. All right. All right. Well, maybe you just need a chance to tell her that, you know? Yeah. about it. Like, I still think she's an amazing girl. Okay. All right. All right. Well, maybe you just need a chance to tell her that, you know? Well, that's why I called. I hope you guys can get her on the line.

Oh. All right. Was that a threat? Because I don't want to make you mad or anything, dude. Or do you want to make her mad? No, I hope you're not mad. He drives to the station. He's like, get in, Jim.

Okay. We're going to do whatever you say here, Mike. We're just going to come back. We'll call Catherine for you. And we'll make sure that you get your second date update right after this, okay? you say here, Mike. We're just going to come back. We'll call Catherine for you, and we'll make sure that you get your second date update right after this, okay? Buckle up, everyone. All right, thanks. Don't hurt me.

Second date update. We've heard a lot of people's stories on this show, their professions, their interests and hobbies. This might be one of the strangest though, because one of our listeners, Mike, is a professional car jitsu fighter. Or a car jitsu wrestler. I still don't know what the exact

terminology is. I think an artist like MMA, it's like a car artist. Yeah, whatever he is, he's a pro at it. But somebody who was familiar with it and was proud of him was his date katherine a little too proud yeah she was so proud that at the bar she drunkenly stood up and challenged any man there to fight her boyfriend in karjitsu and that's where the fun

kind of ended because she began to sober up afterwards and started saying are you mad at me that i told everybody about that and showed them the videos are you mad and he kept saying no and she kept saying yeah i can tell you're mad at me you're mad yeah and that didn't go well so now here we are days later she might be too embarrassed to talk to him again at least that's what Mike thinks. Mike, are you mad at us? What? Oh, I get it. No. We're here to help, Mike. If we don't get him a date... So do you have any final thoughts before

we call Catherine? Anything else that we should know? Look, I really want to see her again. I mean, it's just really rare to find a girl who actually knows about this and who's probably going to be willing to support me through it. You she's literally my biggest cheerleader that night oh i can totally imagine her when you're in the middle of a match or whatever it is her banging on the window cheering for you of the car i see it i wonder if they have round girls you know like where you come out with

a sign they pop the trunk and then she just comes out and does a little circle oh okay maybe she can get into the profession a little bit too if this works works out, I'm going to dial her right now. Let's see if she picks up. Here we go. Hello? Hi, is this Catherine? Yes, who's this? Hey, Catherine, we're a radio show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're hoping to borrow just a few minutes of your time, if that's okay. Uh, no.

Did you say no? Oh, that's funny. Yeah, we don't get no very often, Catherine. Can we ask why? Can we ignore the no? The thing is, we're not calling on behalf of us. We're actually calling on behalf of somebody you know, a guy named Mike that you went on a date with recently. Oh, okay.

Oh, wait. Does that change things? Do you want to talk to us now? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That was quick. Because we don't just call random people for no reason.

This is part of a segment we do called Second Date Update. Okay. Sorry. We're I don't. We're on a mission. We want to hook you back up with Mike. What if I don't want that, though? Oh, well. Here, Jeff.

Well, that's not okay. You can definitely say no. You're not allowed to not want it. You can definitely say no. I told you, listen to Jeff. Mike just wants to know if he did something wrong, you know? Because he told us the story of what happened that night. Oh, God. Oh, my gosh. Are you know? Because he told us the story of what happened that night and... Oh, God.

Oh, my gosh. Are you embarrassed? It sounds like a fun night. It was a fun night. I am embarrassed. I got too drunk. Oh, that's fine. We've all been there. He mentioned that you stood up at one point and challenged everybody in the bar to fight him in car jitsu. Yeah. I did.

I did do that. Did anyone... I never heard... Did anyone try to take him in car jitsu. I did. I did do that. Did anyone, I never heard, did anyone try to take him up on that offer? Or you up? I guess it wasn't his offer. It was your offer. My offer, someone did. Oh my gosh. But he didn't make it in the car.

His wife or whoever was with him said absolutely no. Okay. I can fight a pro fighter babe just give me a minute well okay well it sounds like maybe that wasn't the problem then with the night we're trying to help mike figure out if there was a specific reason that you've been avoiding him or not wanting to see him again yeah okay. Okay. So here's what happened. I was embarrassed. Yeah.

I told my roommate about the situation. She didn't know what Karjitsi was, so I showed her a few videos. Yeah. She told me that I absolutely cannot date this guy.

Why? Your roommate said that? No. Has she battled him and lost in a fight? You can't date my mortal enemy. He can throw a punch. No, I mean, she made some valid

points. You know, he's a professional fighter, and so he's going to get hurt. And if this turns into something more serious, I'm going to have to take care of him while he's hurt. Oh, yeah, it's true. Well, isn't that every woman's dream to take care of a man like a baby child Oh, yeah, it's true. Well, isn't that every woman's dream,

to take care of a man like a baby child until they're old? Especially when they're a retired pro athlete. That's when they're at their peak. They're so fun to be around. They don't reminisce about the old days at all. Wish the times were different. Yeah, that's a good point, Alexis. My second ACL anyway.

So that just doesn't sound like fun to you. It doesn't. And then, you know, I know that a lot of football players, they have that concussion syndrome when they get older. It's really scary. It's really scary. Our jiu-jitsu fighters don't even have any helmets. Exactly, yeah.

Wait, do you get really hurt in jiu-jitsu? No, but jiu-jitsu isn't about being punched at all. It's called car jitsu, okay? Get it right. You don't punch in jujitsu. Well, I don't know the rules of car jitsu. Yeah, I guess I don't either. It didn't look like it was the friendliest of us.

Brooke is right. A lot of times it's the hold. It's the pin. It's something else. It may not be knockout status. Don't you think you're way jumping the gun? Yeah. I mean, you are thinking

about 25 steps down the line here. I'm 100% jumping the gun, but I'm looking for something more long term. And so I fully admit, I'm like, alright, if we have kids, like I did that whole bit, if we have kids, how long are we going to be doing

Karjitsu for? Like, he can't possibly sustain that. Get the kids into car jitsu, little baby seats in the back and then they're fighting out of the baby seats. They can start in those little driver cars they get when they're babies. I could see why you would have some concerns about the future of your guys' relationship.

But we're not the people to defend that. The only person that can is Mike himself and he just happens to be on the other line right now waiting to talk to you yeah wait what he says no no sorry that's how this works mike yeah well you're seriously not calling me because your roommate thinks it's too dangerous come on look look i've trained so hard for this. This is literally what I do every single day.

I train hard not to get hurt. This is literally my main job, is not to get hurt. Are you hearing that? I understand that. You're doing fine right now, but maybe in the future, I don't know, someone wraps the seatbelt around your neck and pulls too hard. I don't know what's going to happen.

I would never let that happen. Come on. I got this little counter thing that I do with my two thumbs. It works every single time. Don't give away your secrets to all the Karjitsu listeners who might be fighting you in the future. You don't want to give it away.

Wait a minute. This is like way more violent than I expected it to be. See, that's what I'm saying. This is something I have to think about. Oh my God. She's concerned about your future there, saying. This is something I have to think about. Oh, my God. Okay, well. I never realized that. Now I want to know. She's concerned about your future there, Mike.

Is this something that you see doing for, like, the rest of your life as a way to earn income? You say you make money. No, no. That's what she doesn't understand. I do have a backup plan. Okay, what is it? What's your backup plan? Like a ref?

Boat jitsu. What did you just say? I'm sorry, what? Boat jitsu. a ref? Boat jitsu. What did you just say? I'm sorry, what? Boat jitsu. Boat? Boat jitsu? You're going from car jitsu to boat jitsu? Why does it seem more dangerous if you fall in the water? Listen, it's an up-and-coming sport.

It's so big in Portugal right now. Look at that, Catherine. You could live in Portugal. It's like a rowboat fight. It sounds awesome. It seems equally as dangerous. No, it's definitely more safe because if you fall, you fall in the water. You drown in the water.

What do you mean that's more safe? Plus, on top of that, you have to wear a life vest. Oh, padded. You know what? Boat jitsu, first thing, safety. Yeah. I want to watch both Jitsu now. Listen, both Jitsu versus car Jitsu, I don't see how that's better.

I do think that we're trying, we're all thinking way too long term here. The whole goal of this call is to just set you guys up on one more date. What do you think, Catherine? It's a date that we'll pay for if you're up for it. I mean, if anything anything he really likes you and i think that's really sweet we might even do like a little day cruise just so that you get a little preview of boat jitsu do not put them on a boat together i'm not gonna fight you the captain or whatever he's gonna get triggered i'm gonna put him on two paddleboards see what

happens oh that'd be good so sorry katherine we're running out of time we need an answer what do you think about one more date with Mike? Fine. I'll do one more date. Yay! Okay. Look at that. There we go.

Mike, there you go. You have exactly three days to change careers and figure out how to support yourself financially. Good luck. All right. Thank you. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. You know, 20 years ago, people laughed at the idea of UFC. And now it's a multi-billion dollar sport.

It's so true, man. And so to all the haters texting in at 78592, give me a break, Karjitsu. Seriously. You just wait to see our friend Mike at the 2032 Olympics holding up a gold medal with a seatbelt around his neck. And he's going to show you what's what. It's going to be a tiny car on the trophy. I do, for some reason, picture him only fighting inside Honda Civics. I don't know why.

It's part of the rules of car jitsu. It's not truck jitsu. You can't get in an F-150. If you do an SUV, is it even impressive anymore? You know what I mean. It's not truck jitsu. You can't get an F-150. Yeah, if you do an SUV, like, is it even impressive anymore? No. You know what I mean? It's just sad. You got a minivan.

You can basically stand up in that thing. Yeah, I mean, come on. Now we're just fighting in a bus. The thing is, we can say that we were there at the beginning. Yeah! Before car jitsu blew up. It's like Muhammad Ali

before anybody knew it was Muhammad Ali. Yep, and soon... We're not going to go that far, but yeah. We'll be laughing when car jitsu takes over football as the number one sport in all of America. We're going to be playing fantasy car jitsu. You know what they say, honk if you agree. That's right.

Yeah, honk right now when you're gone. Honk and text in and email us if you need help with your dating life. We'll call that person who's not calling you back. Go check out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcasts at Brooke and Jeffrey. We're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them.

More of you dating with intention because you know know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the

financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it.

For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.