Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Cat's Got Your Couch

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

The woman in today’s Second Date said she was following a sign from the universe and it lead to a chance meeting that has her begging us for help in reconnecting them! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Second Date Update It's a well-documented fact on this show that Brooke does not respect people who ride the bus. What? I ride the bus with my kids. I don't want to say that she thinks they're beneath her. What are you talking about? She just definitely doesn't think that they're on her level.

That's probably the best way to put it. Kind of limbo in the middle. I feel like Jeffrey's always putting his own feelings on me. It is a little weird. I'm just saying I'm a little bit worried for this call because we have a woman on the phone who apparently rides the bus to work all the time. I know it's probably too much for me to ask you to be nonjudgmental doing this, but can you at least try and keep it civil and not spit on the floor when I say her name? Although, you know what? There is probably usually spit and bodily fluids on the floor when I say her name. Although, you know what? There is probably usually spit and bodily fluids on the floor of the bus.

So maybe it'd make her feel like she's at home. Let's welcome Trisha to the show. Trisha, how you doing? I'm doing well. How are you guys doing? What a terrible intro, Trisha. You riding the bus is just fine. Did you hear how she said that with such disdain?

It's fine. Her publicist told her she has to be nicer. I've had boyfriends that only rode the bus. She broke up with all of them immediately. I'll tell you that. But Trisha, we're gonna try our best to be on your side here. Tell us about why you emailed for a

second date update. Who'd you go out with? Alright, so his name is Dave. Okay. I met him on the bus. So what happened was, sometimes I'll see the same kind of characters on the bus every day. But this guy I hadn't met before. He sat next to me. Didn't think much of it. But then the bus had like some kind of problem with the engine.

I don't know what it was. Brooke cut the wires before she left for work or something. So the bus stalls, we were hanging out there. So, of course, you know, we start talking to each other. He's next to me. Seems like a really nice guy. He's like, listen, I'm already late for work. Let's just go meet up for coffee.

I like that. Instead of I'm already late for work, we should call, you know, somebody to come get us. Let's just screw it. Right. And I was like, yeah, he seems lovely. And so anyway, we go to the coffee. It's just a quick thing. But we get our cups of

coffee we exchange numbers okay so it was like more than just a friendship thing yeah i mean i felt like why would he give me his number otherwise or ask me to coffee did you do that like romantic thing where you guys sip out of each other's coffee cups we did not or you do that thing where you uh interlock your arms and take a sip. Hoping not to spill scalding hot coffee down the front of the other person. I don't expect Brooke to understand what romance looks like, but I sure do. Did you guys not pull that move? We did not pull that move.

I think the next question is, did he call you? Did you guys go out again? They exchanged numbers, Jeffrey. Oh, okay. Sure. Go ahead. Ask that. See how that goes.

Here's where we get to the meat. So I'm like, how's your week been? We're talking. And he's like, yeah, I've just been really busy. I'm planning this estate sale. I have a lot of stuff to get rid of. I've got friends helping me. And I was actually like, you know what? I actually am in the market for a couch right now.

My cat's destroyed my old one. And I'm like, do you by any chance have a couch? He's like, I do, as a matter of fact. And he goes, just come pick it up. I'm'm going to charge you for it. If you like it, you can just have it. Oh, that's awesome. You get a free couch out of the deal. Sweet. Right. And at this point, I don't know what the couch looks like or anything, but we went to a bar together. He showed me pictures on the phone. I'm like, this is perfect. Sounds like a hot date showing each other couch pictures.

It's kind of like a two for one deal, right? Just getting a hot date showing each other couch pictures. It's kind of like a two-for-one deal, right? Just getting a hot date and a free couch. Did it pass your eye test? You mean the guy or the couch? Because both did. Oh. Okay. There you go.

You more than just sit on that couch when you go pick it up. Exactly. So did you go get it? Well, you'd think. So I go to his house. I said, sure, I'll take it. I just need some way to get it home right aka you need to take this to my house please or help me run a u-haul

hoping he's gonna offer but it's weird because he's got this little back patio thing with a sliding glass door and it's been open and at this point his cat comes running in cat jumps up onto the couch and like nestles into it and he's like i'm sorry my cat is he's not very misattached to this couch but it's almost like he's claiming it right now and he's like i don't know if it's a sign but suddenly i just have this feeling like i need to keep this couch like this cat is in love with this i. He gave dibs to his cat over you? Uh-oh, cat just nuzzled the couch. It's his now. I mean, I'm a cat person, so I get it to a degree,

and then I also am like, that's so weird. Do you think it's maybe because you asked that you needed help bringing it back? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, all of a sudden, the cat is on it,

and then you're asking that, and he's like, oh, crap. The cat just winked at it, so we gotta... Never mind. I won't even help a good friend move their couch, is on it and then you're asking that and he's like, oh crap. My cat just winked at it. Never mind. I won't even help a good friend move their couch let alone somebody I'm just meeting for a date. I'm going to live with four couches in my living room now. So does that mean you didn't get it?

No, he didn't give it to me and I'm like, maybe when we hang out again he'll provide some clarity. You guys, I never heard from him again. What? And you think it's all because of the couch? I don't know why. Maybe the cat nuzzled up against your ankle and was like,

oh, the cat has dibs on you now. I can't call him. But let's see and find out. We're going to play a song. We'll come back and we'll call Dave. We'll ask him why he's not calling you back and maybe see if that couch is still available so I could have it. Hey, free couch, yeah?

Yeah, I need some help in my place. Anyway, we'll do it in your second date update. Okay, but I still get dibs on the couch over you. We're going to let Dave settle this. We're going to call him. Maybe the cat needs to settle. Maybe. We'll do it right after this.

Second date update. It's a very interesting story we just heard from Trisha about her date with a guy named Dave. But also very matter of fact. Like she didn't have a lot of emotion, you mean? I feel like, I'm just being honest here. I feel like, Trisha, you don't seem very connected to the guy. It sounds like what you really want out of this is a second shot at that couch that he was selling before you got cat blocked. I got to say, I wouldn't judge you for it.

That's a good deal. I mean, I'll just ask if I offered you the couch right now instead of a date, what would you say, Tricia? I think I would take the couch at this point. Really? It probably would have been that way the other point, too. I mean, the whole thing is like, I don't know Dave that well. I'm not invested emotionally. And if it's a beautiful couch I can get for a bargain and it's perfect, more emotionally invested in the couch.

Those are smart choices you're making in your life. I actually back her on that one. Those are harder to find than men. Absolutely. That one that fits your place perfectly and you love the look of it. Okay, well, this is going to be the first time we've ever done a second date for a piece of furniture, but let's give it a shot. It's like we're on Craigslist right now. We're going to call Dave.

A good couch is hard to find. We'll tell Dave that. See how he reacts. Here we go. I'm going to call his number. Hello? Hey, is this Dave? This is Daveave who's calling hey dave my name is jeff from the show brooke and jeffrey in the morning we're on the radio like right now we're on the radio

why am i on the radio what what's going on here? Good question, Dave. Before we can really get into it, I do need to ask. We heard that you have a couch that was up for sale. A great couch. A really nice couch. We're wondering, is that still available? What? I mean, I still got the couch, but how do you know that? Who told you this?

We heard about this amazing couch from one of our listeners named Trisha. Trisha. Remember? Remember? You hung out with her a little bit? Went to a bar and showed her the couch? Yeah, yeah. No, I remember Trisha. What? You sound kind of mad. Are you mad at Trisha? No, no. I'm not mad.

I just... I'm done with Trisha and I didn't really want to bring it back up. Why are you calling me about this? You'm done with trisha and i didn't i didn't really want to bring it back up did whoa why are you calling me about this you're done with her well she told us that you were the one who asked her out after you met on the bus i did yeah uh honestly she was cool i like trisha she's a she's like a good person uh it didn't feel right it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right? Was it? I mean, she also said that you offered her your couch for free. I did. I did at one point, yeah.

But then things changed, and so she didn't end up taking the couch. Yeah, what changed? Yeah, why? Everything seemed so good up to that moment. Yeah. You guys are being a little nosy here. I don't even know you. I don't know what this is about.

So are we done here? I mean, so I apologize for that, but that's kind of what we do on this segment. We're trying to help Trisha figure out what went wrong because she's clueless. Yeah, we just want to help her tell her, hey, what happened? Is it something that you think she should understand already? Like why you don't want to talk to her again? Or is it because she rides the bus and you don't like that? Because it's a popular opinion on this show that bus people are not worthy of love.

Not popular, but one person thinks that. I ride the bus to work. I think it's totally fine. I don't really understand what you guys are laughing about there. The majority of us. He's not laughing. We'll check that one off of the list. It's not that.

So what is it? What's the reason that you have this total shift in attitude towards Trisha? I mean, we heard something about your cat, but I don't know if anybody really believes that your cat rubbing up against the couch is going to stop you from giving it away. See, I think it's because she asked for help in moving the couch. Is that why? We have a lot of theories. No, it's not bad.

All right, listen. If it'll end this quicker, I'm just going to let you know. Some people might think it's weird, but this is the truth. Okay. Okay. So the state where I've been living for the last couple of months is actually my grandma's estate. She passed away just a few months ago. So I've been taking care of things there.

Oh no. Yeah. That's hard. That's okay. Thank you. I appreciate that. Anyway, the cat was my grandma's and I'm taking care of the cat as well. Yeah.

I don't know. As soon as Tricia comes to get the couch, this cat who has never, ever, I mean, not once jumped on this couch, went right up to it. It's like the cat saw Tricia and tried to intervene. I think, I know, I know deep inside that that is my grandma that is a sign that she is speaking through this cat and it was a sign to not give this couch away and to not see this woman anymore i don't know what reason i don't know why when you know you know and i something just told me this is my grandma telling me to watch out. Was your grandma always pretty judgy about the people you went out with?

Yeah. Honestly, she just wanted to make sure I was happy and I think I trusted her opinion. I'm going to keep trusting it in the afterlife. Weird question back to you. Is your grandma the cat or is your grandma speaking through the cat?

That actually makes sense to me. Is that weird? Yeah, it is. I mean, I don't know the logistics of the supernatural here. All I know is the feeling I got. Yeah. Okay. So just nobody gets the couch, not just Trisha.

I think it was just a Trisha thing. I mean, I believe in signs. I do too. And I'm just reading the signs that Trisha has been on the other line listening this entire time and wants to talk to you. Yeah do too. I'm just reading the signs that Trisha has been on the other line listening this entire time and wants to talk to you. Yeah. I feel like I've been set up here.

What's going on? Don't be angry. I mean, you can be if you need to be, but like... Oh, thank you. Don't tell men how to feel. Yeah, bro, don't woman-splain. She's not trying to upset you. She didn't know that that was what was

going on, right, Trisha? No, I didn't. That is so weird. Do you really think that your grandma sent you a sign through your cat that we shouldn't go out anymore? This makes me feel like you might have some mental problems, to be honest.

That is so rude! Hold on, be honest. That is so rude. Hold on, Trisha. That is so rude, Trisha. It's a little strong. He said, hey, this is going to sound weird. He knows it doesn't feel right. Everybody experiences grief and everything else in different ways. And this is the way he feels like his grandma's talking to him.

Now, I do think maybe the argument could be that what if the cat was saying, yes, I'm excited about this instead of no. Thank you. Like maybe you were interpreting the cat wrong. It wanted to hang out with her with the couch. I mean, it could be, honestly. Does that sound like a possibility, Dave? After this conversation, I'm more convinced than ever that the way I interpreted it was correct.

My grandma just helped me dodge a bullet. So thank you. I'm glad I trusted my instincts. You know what, Dave? Like, forget even you, because at this point, obviously, we're not a romantic match. And I'm so fine with that. Obviously. You guys can salvage it. But, like, the fact that, can I just, like, have, could we just do the couch exchange?

Because I'll give you $200 for it. I'll have someone come pick it up. Wait, you still want the couch? I still want the couch. Something can be salvaged from this conversation. I don't think he's going to give you his grandmother's couch. Okay, though. $300.

I would sooner bring that couch to the dump than give it to you. Oh, James. Don't put your grandma's couch in the dump, bro. That's seriously a little dramatic. Okay. Trisha, why are you still going so hard? You're getting a no. You're getting a no from Dave,

from Dave's cat, and from Dave's grandma. Thank you, Dave's cat, because now I feel like I dodged a bullet on top of it. You know, it's a great... Well, Dave, okay, so... A lot of bullets fly around.

No, you don't have to go out or see Trisha again, but I know your cat's not here on the line with us, but do you think you can ask it if your grandma thinks I'm a good person? Because I would really like to have that couch. It sounds really nice. No, sorry, but I'm getting that couch.

I'm offering more money than you. You are not getting the couch. No, it sounds like you've been cut out of the equation, so somebody should get that couch. I think it should be me. Dave? I think give it to the cat. It's a cat. Go ahead and try IKEA.comcom and let them leave me alone turning into a second couch update brooke and jeffrey in the morning that was just a another one of those second date updates that all of a sudden it goes off the rails and there's no

way to fix it oh my gosh it just spiraled manaled, man. She was just, I'm sorry, she was mean. She did. I mean, gosh, if you don't believe that your grandma can, you know, show you signs, fine, whatever, but you don't need to be so mean to somebody else who believes it. I agree with Brooke. Overly aggressive, and it's really not fair of her to discredit the cat signs because she was the one that told us she followed the signs

when her bus broke down that she was supposed to hang out with them. Oh, that's a good point. Maybe I'm being, I don't know that I was fully listening when she said that. No, but you're right. Just selective sign reading and selective listening apparently in this room. I think she's just mad she didn't get the couch. For real.

That's honestly what she's really upset about. I guarantee you she Googled it on Wayfair or something. It's like a $1,000 couch. Oh, yeah That's honestly what she's really upset about. I guarantee you she Googled it and like on Wayfair or something, it's like a thousand dollar couch. Oh, yeah. Dang it, I got it for free. Yeah, totally. I don't want to run into her inside of HomeGoods.

That would be a nightmare. But remember, if you ever want to get a second date update, you can email the show. We'll call the person who was in calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show

and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.