Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: C'est La Spit

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

Two diners sit down at a table, but 3 meals arrive. Is a mysterious stranger in their midst? Or is it just a brand new Second Date?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. It takes a big man to admit when he's made a mistake. I made a mistake. Yes, I'm finally a big man. Okay. Yes.

Congratulations. Good for you. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Unfortunately, I never make mistakes. Yes. You do have that about you. Kind of hard for guys like me to admit being wrong if we never are. Am I right, Jose?

That must be. Yeah, dude. Of course I'm right. Thank you. You're always right, Jeff. One of our listeners, Galen, says that he's confident enough to confess to an error that he made. Okay. Not only did he mess up, but his date actually called him out on it.

Oh, no. Honestly, I'm a little jealous that you're more of a man than I am. I want you to teach me your ways. Is that cool? Yeah, I'll be your Obi-Wan for this, for sure. Oh, is that a Star Wars joke? Put the force all over this, bud. Oh, right.

Did you fess up? I mean, your date called you out on it, Jeff said, so it sounds like you were forced to. I was forced to, but I could have tried to continue the lie. Okay. It was a lie involved. Oh, now I'm intrigued. Now it's kind of juicy.

Tell us a little bit about this girl. We met online. Her name's Stephanie. She's super cute. She's so sweet. We talked a little bit about this girl. We met online. Her name's Stephanie. She's super cute. She's so sweet. We talked a little bit on the phone. We really hit it off. Okay.

Okay. What did you end up doing for your meetup? So there's a French restaurant that I've been meaning to try. And so it's supposed to be very romantic. Yes. Excellent choice on the French food. I mean, obviously you wanted to impress her if you're picking a romantic place. Like, you're setting the mood.

Like, you're in it. Yeah. That's right. That's right. So how was it? The restaurant was really nice. And, you know, I was really excited about just having a romantic evening with her. And then the day came around and I get a ding from my Google calendar saying that I have dental surgery the next morning.

Oh, no. Yeah. At least it wasn't the same day. Yeah. Like how early the next morning? First thing in the morning. And I had gotten an email from the office saying that I couldn't eat for 18 hours. That's the first thing I thought of.

And you booked a French restaurant before that? Dude. Yeah. Why didn't you reschedule the date or do something different than out to dinner? I was worried that if I canceled it last minute, you know, sometimes people take that personally and it's kind of a turn off. You're absolutely correct. But if you told her, like, you've talked for weeks. I mean, if you tell her,

oh, my God, I have dental surgery tomorrow. No, that sounds sketchy. If someone's like, oh, whoops, I forgot about a surgery I have in the morning, I'd be like, yeah, right.

You didn't forget. I guess it looks a little bit irresponsible that you can't juggle your own schedule. Absolutely. Right, and then it would be a bad look for me.

So what did you tell her when you got to the restaurant? Did you tell her that, you know, you wouldn't be able to eat or anything? No, because I didn't want her to be freaked out or anything. So what I did was, and also I wanted to taste the food at the restaurant. So I just had this idea in my head, well, I'll taste the food. I'll put it in my mouth. I'll pretend that I'm chewing it.

And if I don't digest it, I should be cool. And I'll just distract her in a way you know like i was pointing at stuff i like dropped my napkin under the table where did you put it hey what's over there oh my god look at the ceiling real quick that is so gross wait where did you spit it out to well i mean bits of it were under the table. Ew! Oh, bro.

You should have just done it in front of her. Tell her that's how the French do it. Ew. It seems classier almost. It kind of does if the French do it. She has to have known that you were spitting your food out. Yeah. I mean, eventually she caught on and she called me out. First I tried to deny it, and then we got into like an

argument about it oh no you denied it stand your ground bro don't back down you can't lie dude why would you deny it it was just like a freak thing like my initial reaction was just like deny deny deny and she's the smart person and she she realized what was happening yeah yeah so finally i just like i'm so sorry i have dental surgery tomorrow i got an email from the office saying that i couldn't eat for 18 hours but i didn't want to cancel and she was like well i don't think that's right 18 hours seems like a long time and i was like well i'm pretty sure that's what the email said so it's like she said pull it up and I did and sure enough the email

said 8 hours instead of 15 hours so you did it for nothing no no I have to starve myself for 8 weeks before the surgery that's what it says oh no it was hours my mistake

you must have felt like such an idiot in that moment. Hey, hey, well, that's a little bit strong. That's how he would feel. You felt that way. Am I wrong? I felt so stupid. I mean, I ordered another meal. You ordered another meal?

Okay, all right. Can we run that back? Now it's kind of stupid. All right. You had better have tipped this waiter who had to clean up everything that you did. Brooke is right. So much money. I did.

I did. I gave a very nice tip. Good. Oh, my God. Were you able to get things back on track? Did she think you were funny or was she just grossed out? Either she was a little, like, stirred, obviously. But we did have a nice conversation, like, to end the meal.

And then I drove her home. I kissed her on the cheek and then i texted her the next couple days she didn't respond and now you know i'm just concerned that for obvious reasons that i've messed things up with her well bro it just seems like you're very unorganized i think you know and it's like oh i can't do this but i'm gonna lie about it and then you get caught the lie i don't think that's even right i think it's simply, oh, I can't do this, but I'm going to lie about it. And then you get caught in the lie. I don't think that's even right, Jose. I think it's simply that he was spitting his food out on the date. I mean, sure, all of those things maybe.

But how can you come back from that? That is so bad. Yeah, it's pretty tough. I think we can do it, though. You think? Yes. I think so. Help, help, help.

I believe in us, OK? This is so gross. You sit tight, Galen, and order a fourth meal for yourself in the meantime because we're going to play a song, we'll come back, and then we'll call Stephanie for you and try and get the second date update, okay? Thank you, thank you.

All right, hold on. Don't forget, Brooke and Jeffrey's Merch for a Cause is on. 100% of proceeds going to aid humanitarian efforts in Ukraine. Good.

Yeah. Get yours now at brookandjeffrey.com. Second date update. A romantic, candlelight French dinner. Yeah, get yours now at brookandjeffrey.com. Second Date Update. A romantic candlelight French dinner. Exotic wines. Beautiful tablecloths.

Seriously. And a silk napkin filled with half-chewed chicken a la ronde. No. Ew. No. That's so bad. That's so gross. Just a small glimpse into Galen's actual date with Stephanie. Oh, man.

Because he forgot that he had dental surgery the following morning. Wow, that wasn't the only problem. Yeah, you're right. What other problems were there, Brooke? He misread the email that said wait eight hours, not 18 hours to eat. He totally could have eaten his meal. That was the main thing. He didn't want to tell her that he had forgotten because he thought it might make him look bad.

So he decided to try and half chew some of the food so he could still get the flavor and spit it out without her seeing. Unfortunately, she caught on, pointed out his error, and told him, no, you dummy. It's only eight hours that you need to wait before dental surgery. And he admitted that he's right. Let's give him a little bit of credit. That he's right? Sorry, he admitted that he's wrong. Let's give him a little bit of credit. That he's right? Sorry, he admitted that he's wrong. Let's give him a little bit of credit. Yes. You just can't help yourself, can you?

You can't bring yourself to say the word wrong. He was right to admit that he was wrong. That was a big move on his part, and I salute you for that, Galen. Thank you. Okay.

Jeff, you were right in that description i appreciate at least somebody has the balls to say it to me i mean what what can we say to her that's a real positive of your date you know because like obviously we don't really want to linger on the chewed food for too long for sure i mean we connected because both of our mothers are school teachers, and so that was like a really nice kind of connection that we made. That's cute. I like that. It only felt like she was out with the child. Well, maybe we can lead with that when we get her on the phone, and we'll see if she has anything else to say, and hopefully we can get you another date here, okay? Please, thank you.

All right, here we go hello hey is this stephanie this is hey stephanie i'm glad we got you um this is jeff from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in Hey, Stephanie. Oh, my God. Hi, guys. Hey. You listened? You might know us. What's going on? Well, that's the question we want to ask you. Yeah.

We're doing a new segment. What's going on? Yeah. So tell us. What's going on with your dating life is what we really want to know. I'm too bad to say it. Not a whole lot. That's disappointing.

Well, it could be a lot more right now. Yeah, because we actually have a guy who's very interested in seeing you another time. Remember going out with Galen the other day? Oh, Galen. Yeah. Can I just say I'm so excited to hear her side of the story? Yeah. Oh, my gosh I'm so excited to hear her side of the story. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

What could he have said? I mean, he told us a lot about the night. He said that you guys bonded over the fact that both of your moms are school teachers. That's kind of cool. We did. Uh-huh. Yeah. And it sounds like you had a lot of, like, connection leading up to the date, too. Like.

We did. We met online. we talked a few weeks he seemed sweet um i i don't know what else there is i mean that part was good okay is the the part that was not so good when he made a little oopsie daisy about his dental surgery? Oh, he did tell you? Oh, yeah. He was super embarrassed, by the way. We all laughed at him. Yeah. Made it worse. Oh.

I guess after the day, I just started thinking about things. And while he's sweet, he's kind of a mess. I mean, the food on the floor. And he was being all shady with it. And I knew something was up can you tell me what was that like like you're you're sitting in a nice French restaurant with lovely linens and

well exactly and they bring out the bread with that olive oil and the fresh red pepper and everything and every few minutes he would like point over my shoulder like some painting or mirror or light fixture and be like oh isn't that really nice and i'd like i'd look and then and then i'd turn back and i'd see that he was like dribble dribble came out no i didn't need to know that but finally when he fessed up it was like he didn't know how long he needed to fast for. He thought it was 18 hours. It's kind of like all over the place. I said, it's eight hours.

Yeah. I'm a surgical coordinator. And he started to argue with me. He started to argue with you. You guys argued? That's bad. That's probably just because he was embarrassed. I mean, honestly, like, I bet he was just offensive because he was embarrassed.

I would be mortified if I was in his position. Yeah. And he did admit that he made a mistake to you. He did, yeah. Eventually. I just don't think he's, like, the guy for me. Because this should be a fun, get-to-know-you thing. And between the food and, like, the scatterbrained demeanor, it just turns heavy so fast.

Well, I know he might seem a little bit scatterbrained, but, it just turns heavy so fast. Well, I know he might seem a little bit scatterbrained, but I'll tell you this, Stephanie. He is organized and thorough enough to dial all the numbers to a radio station correctly. In a row. All of them in a row.

And stay on the line quietly this entire time waiting to talk to you. He may be accidentally muted, though. That takes discipline. And now, Galen, are you there? I'm here hey hey stephanie what's up hi hi galen i uh i i heard what you said and i it's kind of wild you're like blaming me for everything blaming you for what else is there to be blamed for she didn't even add any new information galen it was all what are you saying if i'm being honest like the reason i tried to

keep this like whole ruse up is because you're like so perfect i didn't want to like mess things up by like canceling the date or whatever so part of the reason i had to spit my food out and whatnot was because i'm that dedicated to this working out you know i know it sounds sweet but then you should have enough respect for me to just tell me the truth because this was a first date and i know you're all about first impressions but it's never good to start out with a lie well i don't think he would have lied to you if you weren't so beautiful and put together. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are not.

We are not blaming her. We are not doing that. No, I'm not doing that. Galen is doing that. I'm just I'm just trying to explain. Galen, why are you so pretty? Yeah, Galen. It's a romantic blaming.

Yeah. What you need to do is lean into what an idiot you are and beg you need to beg her for a second chance like why do you even deserve one yeah that's who gets all the ladies the big idiot that means you guys you heard the story i am a big idiot all i can ask is your forgiveness and that you just text me the night before like if we go on another date just to remind me what oh wait you want me to remind you if we go on another date are you worried about another surgery no no just to like remind me that we're going out because obviously i'm not all organized and smart like you you you know? What? Oh, that sounds passive-aggressive.

I thought you were calling to apologize. I mean, I did. I did. You did? Yeah. No, you didn't, Galen. You said it was her fault. I didn't say it was 100% your fault. We share the mistake together.

Oh. Wow. What are we looking at? It's 70% your fault? 30 70 exactly i'm getting zero credit for my creativity in hiding the bite taking for quite a long time before you found out he lied because he cares i think is what he's trying to say. Stop. Stephanie, do you think it was at least creative, the way that he tried to hide this? It was definitely creative. Hey, there you go, B-Land. Look at that.

She likes you. She's being sarcastic, guys. She's in love. What is wrong with you two today? We're kidding. We're in a fun mood. Is it? I'm stressed out. Sorry.

Now that the sparks are flying in the room, this is a great time to ask. Stephanie, would you like to go out on another date with Galen? Oh, man, Stephanie. We will pay for it. And we'll remind him. Um, no. Oh, that was fast. Shocking.

Why would you make him feel bad like that, Stephanie? Now look what you've done. It used to be a soft pass, but now it's a hard pass. It's a very smart call, I suppose. I mean, Galen, do you want to try and save this for yourself? If I'm being honest here, if somebody can't admit their faults, then I don't have time for it, okay? Oh, wow.

Okay, Galen. Yeah, this is your chance, okay? Oh, wow. Okay, Gabe. Yeah, this is your chance, Stephanie, to admit them. Oh, man. I know. I guess I have to dig deep here. Yeah, I really dig deep. I am so sorry. Thank you for apologizing.

That was really big of you. And if you'd like to further apologize, I'll give you my Venmo, and you can pay for half the meal when we're off. Oh, wow. Are you serious? Wow and you can pay for half the meal when we're off. Oh! Wow! What a generous offer. It's a full opportunity, Jeffrey. Is that what you're saying?

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Brooke, I know you say that you love love, but it's pretty obvious that you don't. Oh, wow. I'm not trying to make waves here, but out of everybody on that call that just happened, you're the one that needs to apologize the most. I bet.

Please enlighten me, Jeffrey. Because look, I ran the numbers. Yeah. I ran the numbers. And did you realize over 36% of our second dates fail to get another date because Brooke brings up valid points and says things that make logical sense. Remember, this is dating, okay?

It's not supposed to be logical or reasonable or even fair, all right? Not really ever. Dating is supposed to be based on raw emotions, carnal instincts, lust. That's why everyone's still single. No, where's Lusty Brooke? Bring back Lusty Brooke. I miss her. We miss our lusty lady.

I made a lot of dumb choices, okay? Well, let us make them. Exactly. Let the young people mess up. That guy did not know you were being sarcastic. He really thought that you supported him. Yeah, well, it takes some experience to figure out my sense of humor. Come on.

Give him a chance. All the listeners know that. I'm sorry for Brooke to all the listeners out there for screwing that one up. I'm ashamed. Guess what? I'm not sorry. Why'd you do air quotes? I don't know. I'm not using them correctly. The sarcasm isn't coming through when you

say it for some reason. If you ever want to get a second date update, maybe Brooke won't ruin it for you. There it is. We'll always call the person who's not calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general.

You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups,

this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.