Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Chase And The Jacuzzi

Episode Date: October 14, 2021

Chase used his classic Tinder move that had a 100% success rate… Until NOW. He has NO clue how his plan failed, but is positive he can get his date back… He just needs a little help!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. We've got a guy on the phone for a second date update. His name is Chase. Oh, man. Chase. You like that name, honey?

Chase. That's one of those cool guy names that I always wished that my parents had chosen for me when I was younger. You're right. What up? It's Chase. Chase. That's always of those cool guy names that I always wished that my parents had chosen for me when I was younger. You're right. What up? It's Chase. Chase. That's always a cool kid. But instead, they gave me, you know, lady repellent name, Jeffrey.

Yeah. At least it's not spelled G-E-O. Yeah. I mean. It could have been worse, I guess. But still didn't stand a chance anyway. In his email, Chase says he doesn't know why his date left early, but he's hoping he can turn things around and maybe make it to fifth base with her.

I'm just hoping Jeffrey keeps his panties on during this next second date. We'll see. Chase. I bet he plays a guitar, too. You play guitar, Chase? No, I don't. Disappointing. Skateboard? Where you at, Chase? where you at chase you do something you do

something cool yeah i live in vegas there we go okay that's a total chase typical chase move so tell us about the girl you want us to call today chase what's her name her name is rachel okay and how'd you meet rachel well you know we met on tinder okay she was hot she had a nice face crooked smile you know crooked we met on Tinder. Okay. She was hot. She had a nice face, crooked smile, you know. Crooked smile. Yeah, that's cute. Is it? Yeah.

Like smirk? Right. She has a little like pirate vibe going to her. You know what I mean? Like. Okay, now you lost me. Yeah. She has one eye and a parrot on the shoulder.

A little bit of scurvy going on. Yes, eye patch, wooden leg. Oh, I got that vitamin C for you, girl. No, not the pirate you're talking about. I'm talking about like the hot Hollywood pirate, like in the movies and stuff. Okay. You found yourself a naughty little pirate. Yeah.

Did you tell her that? Oh, absolutely. I did tell her that. I was like, you know what? This might be a little awkward, but it kind of reminded me of like a pirate. And she like, of course, she didn't know how to take that like you guys did, but I explained it to her, and she kind of, she was with it. I guarantee she was with it.

Well, hey, man, if it works, then it works. If someone called me a pirate, I could not stop but do pirate voice the rest of the day. Like, argh! I know, like, how do you take that seriously? Shiver me timbers, you watch my booty. So what did you and pirateate Girl do for your date? You know, I was hoping for it to, like, end quick, you know, so we can go back and make some bad creaky noises like some...

What? What did you just say? You didn't want your date to last because you just wanted to go home? Oh, my God. He just wanted to make the noises with his mouth. He didn't want to actually do anything. Chase, that was terrible. I mean, come on. It's Tinder. It's a Tinder hookup. Yeah, my God. He just wanted to make the noises with his mouth. He didn't want to actually do anything. Chase, that was terrible. I mean, come on.

It's Tinder. It's a Tinder hookup. Yeah, come on. He called her a pirate, Brooke. What do you expect? I guess. I guess I'm on board. All right.

All right. We just went and got some milkshakes, you know. It was super chill. Just hung out, talked. What? You were all over the place. Like, at one minute, I'm thinking that you're just going to go take a couple shots

and head back to your house and you're out getting milkshakes? Well, I've got to keep them on their toes. Like, I can't have her guessing the next move I'm going to do. I need to keep her, you know. All right. So what did you and Rachel do on your day?

What did you guys talk about? Well, like I said, we were just chilling, shooting the, you know, stuff. And I told her about my bar that i want to open up it's actually a tequila bar that's a keela bar yeah all right the bartenders are going to be totally hot i mean they're like they're straight up like models during the day and then at night they come work of course so you guys just want to go the part

the only idea he has is hiring hot chicks. That's not really a business plan. You don't need to have a business plan if you have hot chicks behind the bar. 40 shots, please, right now. No, I'm not telling you everything. I'm just giving you highlights here and there. I can't tell you guys the entire bar,

but I even got the name. What's that? The Worm. The Worm. Oh, the Worm at the bottom of a tequila bar. Tequila bar, okay. Oh, I was thinking about the little worm in all boys' pants. Not the tequila.

Brooke should already be not allowed inside your bar, by the way. So let's get back to the date. What happened after you guys had milkshakes together? I mean, I wanted to have her come to my place, so I whipped out my phone, showed her some pictures, Let's get back to the date. What happened after you guys had milkshakes together? I mean, I wanted to have her come to my place, so I whipped out my phone, showed her some pictures, showed her my hot tub, you know what I mean? Oh, you have a hot tub? You have a hot tub?

Of course you have a hot tub. I bet it hasn't been cleaned in a month and a half either, Chase. It's actually just a bucket that he puts hot water into and blows some bubbles in there. No, no, no. It's not even that. Not even that. Yeah, it's so foamy.

That is a foamy hot tub. I guarantee it. So, like, yeah, I was showing her pictures of my place and all. And then, like, all of a sudden she acted like, I don't know, she made, like, a weird face. And she was looking down on her phone. And then here it comes, you know, oh, I got a text. I have to go. And I'm like, I didn't hear a buzz.

I didn't, like, feel the vibration of the table. Like, I felt like she just kind of faked that. It is a pretty, like, solid go-to move if you need to get out of a date. Did she say what the text was? She's like, it's an emergency. And I was like, well, I mean, I can help you. And she goes, no, it's not that kind of an emergency. Whatever that's supposed to mean.

I don't get that. It sounds like the emergency was her leaving. That's pretty clear that she apparently saw something and was not into it. Yeah, but the first 20 minutes, it wasn't like that. Like, it was a good time. Like, she was laughing, smiling. I mean, I thought I was funny. You know what I mean?

So that's why I think it's kind of sketchy because she went from zero to 100 real quick. All of a sudden, she was just not in it. So 100 to zero. Yeah, there you go. And girls do not say no to jacuzzis. Nobody does. That is not true, dude.

Something bad. There is a lot of women that won't get in those. No, she's actually very right. That's actually a first for me. Nobody has ever denied this jacuzzi. Trust me, I've had this picture on my phone for like two years and nobody ever denies okay so you want to get rachel back on the phone so you can seal the deal yeah i just want to see what's up yeah i mean it is pretty amazing to go in 20 minutes from she's all in to absolutely no way yeah have you talked to her? I've texted her.

Haven't gotten nothing back. So, like, I feel like she's ghosting me a little bit. Yeah, she for sure is. Pirate ghost? Ghost pirate? Oh, man. All right, well, we're going to play a song. We'll come back. We're going to call Rachel for you and try and get you a second date update.

All right, Chase? Appreciate it, guys. All right, man. Hold on. Right now, there are ladies all over the country who are sliding out of their undies and tossing them straight at the radio. You mean ladies? I have two, bro. Are they?

Well, because we're on the phone with the master of seduction. His name is Chase. Oh, yeah, he is. Chase recently went out with a girl named Rachel, who he describes as a sexy pirate type. You know the kind. And then they went out for a girl named Rachel, who he describes as a sexy pirate type. You know the kind. And then they went out for milkshakes. They discussed his idea for a tequila bar. And he invited her back to his place for a little soak in his hot tub.

Hot tub action, baby. And that's when she claimed to get a text from a friend saying it was an emergency and she had to get going. And let's also remember that all this happened in a 20 minute period. Yeah. Very fast. Well, you can't plan for when these emergencies happen. Yeah, I guess.

Isn't that right, Chase? Hey, I mean, you gotta always be prepared. Come on. Gotta keep the hot tub warm at all times. Is there anything in you that believes that maybe she actually did tell the truth and had an emergency? The way that the date was going. I don't see it, but we'll see. This is where you guys are going to try to help me out.

And I even throw you guys a little incentive. You guys listening up? Oh, yeah, I guess. Chase has got an offer for us. All right. So you guys know that I'm going to be opening my bar very soon. You guys get me another date with this girl so I can seal the deal as a round of shots on me at my new bar. I guess that's better than the hot tub invite that I thought we were about to get.

So I'll take it. No, let's just do the bar first and then we'll see. All right. Brooke, I bet you are invited to the hot tub. Maybe not Jeff and I. We'll see what happens with that. Brooke, think about it, all right? Oh, see?

Yeah, I'll think about it there, Chase. F-T-dubs. Yeah! Oh, right. The name of your bar. Right, all right. Okay. Well, let's get back to the second date update.

We're going to call Rachel for you right now, okay? You ready? Yeah. All right, let's dial the phone number. Here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Rachel, please? This is her. Hi, Rachel. This is young Jeffrey

from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay. Does that impress you? You can say no, it's okay. It doesn't impress many people. What if I told you I have a hot tub? What's going on? I apologize. We're doing a radio show here, and on our show we have a segment called the Second Date Update. That's what we're doing with you today okay all right i can tell that you're a little bit confused i'll keep explaining

a second date update is where if you go out with someone and afterwards you're not calling them back that person can email us and ask us to reach out to the person that they want us to and we'll try and figure out the reason why um i, I, I don't, like, who's doing this? Well, it's a very sensual man named Chase. Mm-hmm. Oh. I didn't see that coming. Do you remember who we're talking about?

I mean, I feel like it's probably pretty hard to not remember Chase. He definitely left an impression on us. Did he leave a good impression on you or an impression on us. Did he leave a good impression on you or an impression? I don't know about good or not. Like, what did he tell you?

Well, he told us that you guys met on Tinder. Okay. That he thought you were a sexy pirate or like a sexy pirate. Yeah. She does like

the sexy pirate thing. Okay. We were a little shocked that that would work, but apparently it did. Chase also said that he took you out for milkshakes. Yeah. That was weird. See, I thought so, too.

I was like, okay, Chase, he's talking about a sexy pirate. You're obviously going to get shots, right? Am I right? Was that what you were thinking, too? Well, he just gave me an address to meet him at. And so, like, I thought I knew where it was. I didn't really put it into the GPS or anything. And I get to his parking lot, and I'm like, this can't be it.

And then I put it into the GPS, and it is because he was meeting me at a burger. A burger. A burger. It's just not maybe the best first date impression, think is you know fast food you kind of want to steer away from i mean location aside what did you think of him you know i mean he's cute and he's very confident but i think the more that he talks the more douchey he gets yeah he wasn't cute enough to like compensate for that no because then he started bragging about some bar that he was going to open with, like, all these hot models. Yeah.

He told us about that. He was just throwing everything at me. He said that he had a boat. A boat. Of course Chase did. Oh. So I said, oh, like, what kind of boat is it? And he was like, oh, well, actually, it's not my boat.

It's my friend's boat. Ha, ha. Classic. Yeah. Well, when you're a young guy, if your friend has a boat, it is your boat. Literally. Right. I eventually pretended to get a text after he whipped out his phone.

Oh. He showed me pictures of his apartment and his jacuzzi. And, like, really, I just thought he was bragging. But clear as day in the picture, his image in the window, when he's taking a picture of the jacuzzi out the door, you can see in the glass him naked. Oh, what? That was definitely on purpose, right? Does that feel like that was on purpose or do you think he didn't realize? He legit just wanted to show me his stuff on our first date at Burger King.

At Burger King. No way. It sounds pretty romantic to me. I don our first date at Burger King. At Burger King. No way. It sounds pretty romantic to me. I don't see what the problem is. No, Jake, that is like rude. Well, what? You weren't impressed? I mean, it's a subtle junk pick, I guess, if you're going to do a junk pick on the first

date. Oh my God. I mean, after speaking with Chase, I feel like this could be something that he does by accident. You think that? I don't know. What are you talking about? It sounds exactly what he would do, like, on purpose.

Well, let's bring Chase on the phone and ask him directly, because he's been listening on the other line this entire time, Rachel. We didn't tell you that. Shut up. I won't, Chase. Rach, my girl. Oh, no, he did not. All right.

It was on purpose. What are you doing? Chase, I didn't know that you were on the phone, but that was all true. I knew you were making up that text, though. I just knew it. Did you know? You were telling me a picture of the junk how do you not like the pic of the jacuzzi it's a huge jacuzzi oh my god you can't call your junk

the jacuzzi now chase okay we all know what you're doing no that's not what i'm doing you guys think you know my game but you guys are so wrong. No, that's not it. Dude, unsolicited naked pictures, not cool, man. I mean, I didn't even realize that. Oh, I didn't realize. Look, I knew it. I knew, Chase, you were a good guy. Honest mistake. Yeah, good guys always accidentally have big pics of their jumps.

Yeah, and are always accidentally taking pictures in front of very reflective surfaces, totally butt naked. Well, maybe the lighting was right at the time and he couldn't wait. Yeah. Chase. Like I said, usually once I send that jacuzzi pic, it's a done deal. Oh, that's why he sends it. I mean, Rachel, don't you feel bad that you were accusing Chase? You know what?

Yeah, I do. We should totally go hook up on his friend's boat. Oh! All right. I knew you had it in you, Rach. Oh, my God. Shut up, Chase. She is being sarcastic.

Chase, you need... I honestly think you need to apologize to her right now. You want me to apologize for being so big? No! No! That is not what I said. We got bird's eye and panoramic views on the phone. That's like a slap in the face to God. Like that's disgusting.

Oh my God. Yeah, Brooke. Why are you trying to slap God in the face right now? Oh my God. This is why we can't hang out with you anymore, Brooke. This dude. I'll apologize to Rachel. Rachel, I am sorry. Yeah. Look, time out. Hold on, Rach.

Brooke, do you want to see the picture of the jacuzzi? I don't. Listen, Chase, I've seen plenty of jacuzzi pictures in my time, okay? Not this one, honey. Yeah, you know what? She can't handle your jacuzzi, bro. I can handle all the jacuzzis, alright?

I'm sure Rachel can, too. Rachel, do you need any more jacuzzis in your life from Chase? God, no. Yeah. This, too. Rachel, do you need any more jacuzzis in your life from Chase? God, no. Yeah. This is amazing. Well, hold on. Oh, my God.

Before you start throwing around things like that, I need to ask you, Rachel. Would you be willing to go see Chase's jacuzzi? No. We'll send you guys out on an official date, and we'll pay for it. I can answer for her. I mean, maybe this time we could go to to like wendy's and get a frosty all right look rage you're really playing a joke on me i know you want to come out with the chase man i know it and like it might be a little you know a little scary since you're on the radio but i know once we get off the radio you're gonna be calling me and you're gonna want to come see the jacuzzi and everything. Oh, my God.

Wow, she sounds hot. She's getting hot in there. She sounds speechless. Chase, I'm going to be honest with you right now and let you know that there is no part of me that wants any part of you or your jacuzzi, and I think maybe you should just stop contacting me. Oh. Don't tell me no.

Yeah. I will. It's just mind-boggling to me. Well, this is your first big no, Chase, and what you do with that is you just shut the chapter and move forward. You're done with Rachel. Maybe learn something again. Well, if that's the case, Brooke, can I get your number?

What? Yes. All right, you guys let me's the case, Brooke, can I get your number? What? Yes. All right. You guys let me know because Rach is bouncing on me, so Brooke sounds like a good idea. Yeah. I'm very happy to be married right now. You know what?

I've heard them all, sweetie, and that does not stop me. It took you, what, about 15 minutes to tell me you were married? No. She didn't say that first! You are so gross! Shut up, Jose! You and your husband can join Chase in the jacuzzi all together. Now it's a party. Tequila's on Chase! Let's go!

Yeah, buddy. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's

because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer.

If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends,

but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.