Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: 401 Not OK

Episode Date: March 23, 2024

One of our listeners said she added 3 little numbers to her dating profile and it made her matches go through the roof! Find out what it was in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

We're always talking about how much trouble guys have standing out on the dating apps. Yeah. We never really discuss the ladies and their struggles when they're online. They don't have struggles, Jen. Yeah, of course they do. They have to deal with you.

Yeah, there it is. Do you see what I'm saying? I can see that. Duh. That's way worse. One of our listeners, Jossie, says that she's been trying for a bit till she finally figured out a dating hack that's worked for her like a charm. Oh, where she actually found like a quality person online?

Yeah, that's also different. Maybe somebody looking for actual love. Well, she's going to tell us about it so that Alexis can steal all the men. So Jossie, welcome to the show. Like Alexis doesn't already. Hey guys, what's going on? Hey. Uh-oh.

We're interested in what's going on with you. Yeah, we have our notepads out so we can figure out what this hack is. But I guess maybe you should start with the guy that it worked on. What's his name? His name is Sean. Okay. Okay. And so what's, I mean, what is your problem with dating apps?

Like, what do you struggle with? So I've been on dating apps for about six months, and I've heard of all these girls getting, like, hundreds of messages. Yeah. months and I've heard of all these girls getting like hundreds of messages and unfortunately I am definitely not one of those women and I don't know why you know like I'm not bad looking well I can help with that

why don't you just let me know your total messages she wasn't fishing for anything I think she was just telling us I may be part of the problem but it does feel like maybe there's something about your profile I may be part of the problem. But it does feel like maybe there's something about your profile that isn't clicking right for people, right? Is that what you were thinking?

Yeah, there has to be something. Because, again, I don't think I'm like crazy bad looking or anything. I do all the regular things. I put like what I like in my bio and everything. See, I can already see where you're messing up. Boring? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Guys want someone that seems like they're really at a low point in their life really struggling this girl is hot and desperate yep i can fix her no no what did you change you didn't add more desperation to your profile did you no i'm so thirsty I don't think so. Oh, okay. What's your strategy then?

So I actually added to my profile my credit score. Oh, that's funny. Oh, yeah. This is a thing right now. Is it? Is it? Yeah. It's 804.

Dang, girl. Nice. That's your credit score? Girl, we're buying a house. Oh, my God. That's great. I thought it was out of 800. What is the credit score out of?

I think it's like 820. 820, you're right. We're not the most financially literate group in this room. I'm guessing that Alexis doesn't put her credit score on her dating profile. I don't know where to find mine. Yeah. So, wait, you put 804 in your profile. That's just what you said?

Yeah. I put 804, and then I put gold digger instead of gold digger, like G-O-A-L. Yes, yes. Gold digger. That's funny. Yeah, I guess people thought I was clever. It is. Because, you know, after that, it worked.

And I got tons of messages from all these guys who were literally ready to, like, marry me. Look at that. Wow. You seem like you're immediately smart and driven. And despite what you two say, men do read. Oh, stop there. I was like, read what? No, you meant read.

You meant David Robles, but you know. So it sounds like Sean was one of the guys that reached out to you? Yeah, so he reached out to me, and we were just chatting. It was super fun, and we did talk about my credit score. And he made a cute joke about it. And he was like, well, I said, you know, I hope just because I have an 804 credit score, you're not assuming I'm paying for the date, are you? Oh, okay. And he was like, no, you're paying for the first three.

Oh, that's funny. That's funny. I like this. Yeah, right? So he seems, like, clever and cute and cute so i'm like why not go to drinks with him all right what was it like when you met up with him so i showed up a little late i'm not gonna lie which might have been you know not the best but like once i got there it was so nice and he was great and we were getting along really well okay he didn't seem put off by you

being late like what like 15 20 minutes yeah it's like 15 Okay. He didn't seem put off by you being late? Like what, like 15, 20 minutes? Yeah, it was like 15 minutes. Okay. He didn't seem like mad or anything at me. Okay, cool. But the only thing was that like we weren't as flirty as I was hoping. And like we did end up talking about like a lot of like budgeting and like. Oh.

It's like the opposite problem. Or did he come to you for financial advice because you have your stuff together no literally that's what i felt like and then i gave him a recommendation for a tax person he was so excited oh god all the hosts in the room around me are coming off like this is a bad thing i think it's sexy by the way she didn't even think it was hot well we didn't kiss so you know that also just kind of threw me off. Instead, you know, I just kind of gave him the tax guy's number, and it was like, goodnight, okay? Thank you.

So this kind of sounds like you thought you were, like, a financial advisor for them. Yeah, but, like, I feel like there could have been a spark if, like, we did change it up. Yeah, moved on. I mean, you can get stuck on a subject like we did change it up. Yeah. Moved on. I mean, you can get stuck on a subject, you know, like that's easy to do on a date. I mean, I can't stop thinking about my credit score right now too, now that we brought it up. But is it possible that you think maybe he like had the wrong intentions when he came into the date and just wanted that and maybe he's not the right guy for you?

I'm wondering because I texted him. I was like, had so much fun, just like a follow-up text and now he's not even responding and it's been a week and a half. Have you talked to your tax person? Has he responded to him or her? I didn't check in on that, but I definitely should. That's a good call.

Now that you've fixed him financially, we just have to fix him romantically and get you guys on a second date. Guys love to be fixed. That's what I feel. Women love fixing them. Yes. Oh, God.

Don't, Alexis. And I am a keeper-upper, ladies, if you're listening. Just like taking notes when we talk to Alexis. It's the perfect circle. We're going to complete it when we do your second date update. Next. Second date update. Do you find financial talk arousing?

What? What? What? Oh my God. My mom is so excited right now. Oh no. My depreciating asset is in a Class C stock. Am I able to transfer the interest it incurs overseas? Oh, is it compound?

Without penalty. Yes! Yes! Is there a Google Translate class? No. He took a different economics class than I did, I think.

Or are you more like Jose, where every time he opens up his wallet, it's like an onion, and it makes him cry. Wow. That's a long cry. I'm still going.

Very depressing inside of that wallet. I will say, when I open my portfolio, I do cry like that. I'm crying. I'm still going. See? Very depressing inside of that wallet. I will say when I open my portfolio, I do cry like that. It checks out. It is awful. But one of our listeners is wondering if she was used for her financial expertise because she posted her excellent credit score right there on her dating app. And it worked. It got her so many messages.

Got her matched up with Sean. But instead of getting a kiss at the end of their date, she ended up just giving him the contact info to her tax guy. Yeah. Which, I mean, great for him. Not quite as sexy and good for her. Yeah. But she's not giving up. That's the good news.

No, that is good. And I was just wondering, did you end up paying for the date or did he? Because he made the joke that you were going to pay because your credit score was so high. We split it. Oh. Oh. That's not. That's also not a sexy move.

I mean, financially responsible, but not hot. You know, it was okay with me. I handle my business, so I don't care. Yeah, it's just like after the joke and then to still split it. You know? It would have been a small move to joke and then have him pay. Right. You should have bankrolled him for a year and then it would have been okay You know what I mean? It would have been a simple move to joke and then have him pay. Right. You should have bankrolled him for a year

and then it would have been okay. And if he paid in Bitcoin. Let's get right into this call, okay? I'm going to dial Sean right now. We'll see what he has to say. Here we go. Hello? Sean, are you in the bathroom? this sean yes it is he's in a cave are you mining right now your phone is a little bit echoey sean but uh we're a radio show called

brooke and jeffrey in the morning uh does this sound better yeah it sounds a little bit better okay so i was on my lunch break. Oh. Sorry about that. I hate to interrupt you on your lunch break, Sean, but we do have some important business to discuss with you regarding a woman that you went out with recently named Jossie. A woman?

Wait. Women, you know, they're like men but with different parts. Yeah, I'm familiar with women. Okay. You sounded confused when I said woman, so I'm just with women. Okay. You sounded confused when I said woman, so I'm just clarifying. Do you remember your date with Jossie? You guys went to drinks? Yes, yes I do.

Okay, cool. Well, newsflash, she is a woman, and other newsflash, she really liked you and wants to see you again. Oh, that's really sweet of her. Okay. So that's a positive to you. Did you not think that already? I mean, it was a good vibe.

You know, it just was a little, it wasn't a typical date. Our topic of discussion wasn't, you know, how you get to know someone. It wasn't like that. Yeah. Well, I think she wanted it to be a date, though. I'll be honest. We heard a little bit about your date from Jossie, and she mentioned that the talk went into, like, finances. She said it was a little stiff and a little bit too much financial.

Yeah, she was really money-oriented. Oh. Okay. Oh, God. I thought you were the one asking her some of the questions about how she got her credit score so good. That was on her dating profile so you know you want to kick it off with something in their bio right right yeah yeah i know it sounds like she got stuck in talking about it and she felt like you guys never got to be flirty with each other well okay so she was 15 minutes late to the date

because she was trying to find like the cheapest gas like there was some gas that was seven cents less than all the other gas stations and so she had to have that gas i think someone like that go out of their way to save a couple bucks she said you weren't bothered by her being late i wasn't bothered about her being late it was the reason why she was late and then she she stopped at the dollar store because they had the best paper towel at the best price. Oh. Oh.

She had to get that done before she met up with you. Is she... I mean, in her defense, those paper towels can be pretty expensive. Yeah, they add one more layer. Especially doing the earth-friendly kind. You guys,

the Dollar Tree tells those. Stop. Why were you asking her about this? She was the one that brought it up. She said I was doing this and I was doing that. Okay. Buying cheap gas and buying dollar store paper towels.

All right, so she's thrifty and you don't like that. Man, she can be thrifty all she wants. Okay. But if we were in a relationship, I will not be chastised about paying an extra 75 cents Man, she can be thrifty all she wants. Okay. Oh, okay. But if we were in a relationship, I will not be chastised about paying an extra 75 cents for some ranch. Wait, what?

Wait, what? Wait, is that a random example? Yeah, it's like a hypothetical you're saying. No, no, that happened. That is not a hypothetical. What do you mean she chastised you? What happened? Yeah, what does chastise even mean?

I ordered some french fries and I wanted a side of ranch. Oh, yeah. You're speaking my language. And the waitress said it would be 75 cents. Okay. Okay. And she was like, 75 cents? Cancel the ranch.

He doesn't need it. What? Okay. She canceled your ranch? Don't you ever cancel my ranch. That might cross a line. Yeah. So wait, did you have to eat dry fries? There was ketchup on the table.

Oh, yeah. The free ketchup. He's just dipping them in his water. I feel like Jossie has some splaining to do, and she can do that right now. She owes you ranch. Hey, hey, we can come back from this. I don't think so.

I need to let you know, Sean, Jossie's been on the other line listening, wanting to talk to you. What? She's listening? Yeah yeah that's how the segment works jossie jossie there yes i'm there oh wow it was it was 75 cents like i could make a whole bottle for 75 cents i thought you know i was doing a. I wanted to make sure he was taken care of. No one needs you to churn a bottle of ranch or however it's made. You just buy the packets. I mean. You're on the date and they say this is how much something costs.

You pay that. Yeah. That's how restaurants work. Exactly. It's one thing if it was like, oh, this steak is 50 more dollars. But listen, you guys, she thought she was helping. Okay. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know why. So I guess he was he was upset i was 15 minutes late it's not because you were late it was why you were late yeah waited any longer i would have been out of the paper towels at the dollar store i bet they go fast yeah yeah they run out by six every single week and i was on my last roll i needed to stop there there's nothing I could have done.

Okay. It's a matter of life and death then. Shud! Shud! You can look past that. No, she should have did. She should have taken the napkins from the restaurant.

I'm surprised she didn't do that. Who's the financial expert now, Joss? Are you guys going to just be stealing napkins every time you go on TV? You two are like a dynamic duo. John, do you do that? That's honestly not a bad idea. That was good thinking.

Oh, now you've piqued her interest, Sean. Is she joking? I don't think she's joking, actually. I don't think she's joking. You guys probably keep the ketchup packets, too. All the time. I was going to say, usually at the grocery stores, you can get the ranch dip behind the counter as well for free, where the chicken strips are. I feel like groceries has a problem.

We're getting to the same problem that they did where we're getting too deep into the financial talk. Let's pull it back and talk to Sean for a second because Sean, what you don't know is that before we called you, she was telling us how strong of a connection she felt the two of you had. Yeah, and how she wanted to redo because she didn't feel

like it went great the first time. I'm just hoping that Jossie still feels the same way as she did before and is still into him. Jossie, are you still up for going out with him one more time on our dime? That's a smart financial decision right there. It's free. I mean, that does sweeten the deal. But honestly, like, I want someone that looks at my strategizing with my money and thinks that that's a great thing instead of thinking I'm cheap. Man, that's understandable. I bet he doesn't even

hire his nieces and nephews to landscape the house so he can write it off like I do. It saves me $70 a year. What? Landscaping? Are you kidding me? That's another financial gem from Jossie. She is out of control. Dude, 804.

That's what her credit score is. 804. Yeah, you have to plan these things. Okay. Is it worth it? Yeah. I don't think so. Maybe not for love.

Save a couple bucks. From what I'm hearing, it sounds like you guys aren't going to match up and meet up one more time. No. Negative. Yeah, whatever. Jossie, I'm telling you you're gonna see him at that dollar store trying to get those paper towels from you next week yeah he better get

there early because i'm blocking him out if he's there oh dang actually let's all go to the dollar store i think alexa go to the regular store like regular people why pay more okay because it's convenient convenient we're going to the ranch factory instead. Let's do that. We don't agree on the ranch factory, right? Bring your cups, kids. Look at Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show,

and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts