Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: Dating Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Episode Date: February 17, 2024

The guy on the phone today was vulnerable on his first date, but after he shared his hopes and dreams the evening went downhill quick...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. Once in a while, we like to ask our listeners to read the Tinder bios of the person that they're interested in. Oh, yeah.

I always like this. But this time, they got ahead of it and just sent it directly to us. Oh, okay. Because one of our listeners, James, met a woman online with these things written on her profile. It said, love cats and the color purple. The actual

color, not the movie. The movie's amazing. How could you not love the movie? It's a little harsh. Ready to get my heart broken again. She says, I mean, that's not the goal, but it's the likely outcome. Oh, okay. More than a little.

Very jaded. Very realistic. She says, if you let me spend the night, I'll stay in your closet and never leave. That's funny. Jose, if you read that on a profile, if you let me spend the night, I'll stay in your closet and never leave. How are you swiping? I'm swiping right, just regardless.

At this point, I'm giving up. I didn't think you would swipe left or right, just like go straight up on that swipe. Super like, huh? James, our listener, read that, and apparently he was immediately hooked. So, James, what does that sentence mean to you? Let me spend the night, I'll stay in your closet and never leave. It means there's a possibility I might be getting some action.

Oh, right. I thought you were just hoping somebody would hang up your clothes in your closet. Finally. Closet action. So you're the type of guy that either ignores red flags or just doesn't see them at all in the first place. Or run towards them, man. I think he likes them. Yeah, I see a

project. So what's the name of this project that you know her name is whitney whitney okay are you i mean it sounds just i know you're joking with us but were you looking for just a hookup or are you looking for something more serious so i think the old me is looking up for the hookup but the new me who's like getting older and stuff, I'm thinking more long term now. Oh, OK. That's good. So the new you is the one who reached out to her online. Yeah. OK.

What did new you say? I joked around with her and was like, hey, I cleaned out my closet for you. That's good. That's funny. Yeah. I offer her jokes, too. Yeah, totally. Literally. Literally.

I thought it was funny and she laughed and we just started chatting. All right. All right. So did you meet up for a date? Yeah, yeah. We met up at this local bar. She was familiar with it. I go there every now and then.

Oh, wow. So you guys could have been there at the same time. I always think that's so crazy. You know, like you meet online, but you could have easily met in person at some point. Right. What was it like when you first saw her? You know, it was happy hour. I was, like, not feeling cheap, but, like, she was totally down to drink.

She wasn't, like, snooty about drinking beer, which was awesome. It sounds like you're, like, an old frat guy who wanted to challenge her to a contest. Or he's an alcoholic and she's not. Yeah. She's like, I guess. It sounds like you've had a bad run-in with girls who were kind of snooty about their beers yeah yeah you know some of them they want their martinis with a twist and some 1942 and all i'm like come on man i don't want to take that phone out okay you're like throw us the

wells whatever's on special right let's just go with the well drinks today she's low maintenance you like that good exactly keep it Okay. How was your time together? You know, we talked about our goals and dreams, and I told her about me wanting to be a Hollywood actor because that's kind of been a dream of mine. Oh. We didn't know that. What are you doing to make that happen?

Well, I've been taking a lot of classes. Acting classes? Stuff with casting directors and people like that was she excited about this for you or was it like oh god this is a guy who's never gonna have a job oh well yeah it's kind of judgy brooke that's how my parents felt when i went to art school so i'm not like you know exactly how did whitney react yeah she's like kind of a realist in a sense where she's like gave you that me that look when mentioned that, where I could tell in her eyes, where I was like, okay, buddy, you know, what are you really going to do with your life kind of stuff? But, you know, I'm serious about this and I believe in it.

That's cool. That's cool. And you were okay with her reaction? I was okay with it because I don't expect anyone to, if you tell them you're going to be an actor, that they're going to go, oh, yeah, that's a great idea. Of course. You said what your dream was. Did she ever tell you what her dream job was? Well, I know she said something about, like, she was already an executive chef.

Oh, cool. Oh, wow. I thought for sure she'd be, like, a vet or something because of her love of cats. But that's amazing. No, it's probably a lot of her food has cat hair in it. Right. So she basically was like saying she's like living her dream already. That's awesome.

Did you give her the same like, oh, well, you know, it's not all that great, but good for you. Only one restaurant? No, I'm trying to be supportive. That's a great gig, Timmy. I mean, you guys got into some deep conversation. No doubt. How did it end? It went well.

I mean, we had a few more drinks, so, you know, we got a little more friendlier. We kind of held hands and it's like, oh, shoot,

this is like almost first base or something. Almost. You're halfway there. That's not the body part that I usually get excited about touching,

but that's okay. But, yeah, so she came over to my place and I was kind of trying to be funny. So I pushed her in the closet and I was like, you're staying here forever. So settle in. Did she laugh? No, she didn't remember. And she looked a little frightened. Oh, God.

I remember the joke. she didn't remember and she looked a little frightened yeah anytime you say i pushed her it's never like let's just not do that it was a light nudge you know but did she leave after that she actually left but it didn't end bad like we ended up talking and texting but she only texted me back once maybe Maybe you took the joke a little too far. Or there was another girl already in your closet and then she saw you. No, no, my closet's cleaned out, man.

Just like in any Hollywood movie, you have to have that low point in the movie before you can have the comeback at the climax. For the climax, yeah. Yeah. He knows he takes the class. Are we going to be the climax for him? Yeah, we're going to try and make the climax happen right he knows he takes the class are we gonna be the climax for him yeah we're gonna try and make the climax happen right here on a second date update all right we're gonna do it right after this hold on okay cool second date update can you believe we may be

talking to the future tom hanks right now wow i didn't think of that. God, what a career. Or if he's lucky, the future Pauly Shore. Oh, wow. I'm quite beloved. Google that name. The joke will be funny on your drive home. Okay. Pauly had a good six-year window.

His name is James, and his big dream is to move to Hollywood one day to become an actor. And that topic actually came up during his date the other night with Whitney. Turned out to be good enough to get her back to his place, but not quite good enough to have her stay the entire night. Yeah. Well, I think his timing is off, which may be something that he needs to work on if he wants to be an actor.

Yeah. Because that joke was definitely not received well at the end. Oh, you think he has a problem with the timing? Well, when he pushed her into the closet, it wasn't a good look. Well, let's hold on because for people just tuning in, that might sound a little bit weird. There is some context to it. She had a joke on her dating bio that said, if you let me stay the night, I'll move into your closet forever. But she happened to forget that when she got shoved in the closet.

A couple weeks later. So it did create a little bit of an awkward moment, but we're hoping to get things back on track when we call her right now. So, James, any final thoughts? Life's like a box of chocolates, you know? You messed your line up. Your delivery, man. You got to work on it. Also, I thought it sounded like this.

That's all right. That's why you're in the classes. I'm not expecting you to be famous on it. Also, I know it. I know it. That's right. That's why you're in the classes. I'm not expecting you to be famous right now. All right. You keep practicing those lines, and we'll talk to Whitney for you, but we'll call you in when we feel like it's time for you, okay? You got it. Here we go.

Hello? Hey, we're looking for Whitney. This is. Who's calling? Sorry, I said we're because you're actually talking to an entire morning show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hi, Whitney. There's Alexis, there's Brooke, Jose, and the star, Jeffrey. The big shooting star. What is this about? I'm very confused.

Well, this is something called a second date update. And we're trying to pry into your dating life a little bit to ask about a guy you went out with the other day named James. Okay. How do you know about that? Well, we know because we read the email that James sent us telling us about your date and how you guys met. Which may sound weird. He's just trying to get help.

Like he really liked you and wants to see you again. Well, if he told you all about our date, I'm assuming he explained what had happened on the date, right? Well, here's a snapshot of what happened. He said you guys met online. You went out to a bar, shared a lot about your personal lives there. They had hopes and dreams. And he said it was a really great conversation. And then you ended up back over at his place.

And he did mention making kind of a bad joke or a joke that he didn't quite understand at first about you living in his closet. He said he pushed you in there and that you didn't understand the context. That did happen. That was weird. But believe it or not, that's not even the reason why I didn't call him back. Oh, really? Okay.

Let me start by saying I thought he was charming. Okay. He had a nice time. I mean, I wouldn't have gone back to his place if I didn't think that he was charming. Well, Brooke would, so that does something between you. Brooke doesn't know you have an option to just not go back to his place.

Oh, I can go home. Oh, come on, you guys. Just kidding. The vibes were good before you got back to his place. Yes, and even when we got back to his place, we were flirting and everything. We had another drink, and he told you that he wants to be an actor.

Yeah. So we decided that we wanted to act out a scene from a movie you can download some certain oh that's funny that's so fun that's awesome what a great idea for a date night so much if you're drunk yeah he didn't mention any of that to us that you guys read through a script. What did you guys do? We decided on 40-year-old virgins. Who did you play? I played the main girl part in it. He played probably Steve Carell's part. The virgin.

Yeah. Was it funny? Okay, I don't want to be mean, but he's not good. He's not good? Is that what you just said? At all. Like, he's awful, actually. Oh, no.

He's not awful. Awful's too strong. I don't want to say that. I could see him as, like, a supporting character, but he doesn't have, like, the main man, you know. Well, hold on. He should be more of an extra, you're saying? To be fair, like, not only were the two of you drinking a lot that night,

but your job is an executive chef from what we heard. Yeah, like, what would you know? Yeah, like, what's your expertise in acting? Yeah, what do you know about acting? Oh, I knew this one was not going to go well. That's some attitude there. Whitney, that's James. He's been on the other line.

Sorry, Whitney. He's on the phone right now? Yeah, that's james he's been on the other line sorry whitney he's on the phone right now yeah that's how the segment works we let him know that he might hear something he doesn't like but you can talk to him james meow meow that's how you're coming in is that a line from the movie that was my cat my cat. Remember from the other night? You like cats? Never mind. Hi, Whitney. Callback. Yes. The timing, man. Wait, so you literally set me up on the radio to, like, hear me talk about you?

What? No, I'm just, I was just needing some help because you weren't responding to my text. You texted me back one time, so I didn't know what to do. Okay, I guess. But, guess but like well then you obviously heard what i said so there's your answer like i'm sorry i'm really not trying to be rude but right now i can't support you and your endeavors the way i think you want me to you don't think i'm a good actor is that what you're saying because we read a 40 year old virgin script did you not believe his performance enough?

Like, you didn't believe he was really a virgin in that moment? Maybe he's just too sexy. And that's why he can't pull off virgin. Look, you know? Have you ever thought about that, Whitney? I mean, it was just kind of the way. Have you guys ever seen Friends, the TV show Friends? Yeah.

You know Joey? Oh. Yeah. It you know Joey? Oh. Yeah. It kind of had that vibe. Joey. I'm trying to make it hard. I can't deliver my lines. I'm reading them instead of acting them.

Oh. Joey was such a good actor. He was an actor playing a bad actor. Yeah. Great at it. I don't think calling him Joey from Friends was as much of a diss as you thought it was. I'm not trying to diss him. Like I said,

I'm telling you, I think that you should keep taking your classes, but right now I think you should stick to those single person shows on YouTube and see if you get a like or followers. Maybe go from there. Look, I've had enough of this. I bet you're not even a good chef.

You probably burn water. Oh, wow. Dramatic. Actually, no. I have plenty of reviews that say otherwise. I'm a fantastic chef, and I actually have proof that I can prove. What are you going to do? Do you have an Academy Award?

Yeah, I don't want to know about all those Yelp followers you paid to give you three stars on your flaming on. This is getting petty. Yeah, no, I'm really enjoying it. Let's keep this energy. Yeah, okay. Yeah, if you like cat hair in your top ramen. Oh, that was a good one.

That's not really. Yeah, it's not. I'm not a 12-year-old. Like, oh, you remember your glue? Like, listen, I explained to you what my thoughts were. And if you can't be mature about it,

I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. It's not her fault. She didn't even know you were listening. You know, it's not like, and honestly, I probably did you a favor.

Like you're going to get told no a lot. Trust me. So it's probably good that I did it at first before you get into this profession so deeply that you're probably never going to did it at first before you get into this profession so deeply that you're probably never going to make it in. She does have a point. My parents told me I was never going to make it as a radio host. And I'm glad that they told me that early so that when this fails, I'm not going to

be as devastated. But Rochelle's doing well, Jeff. Not according to my parents. Okay, well, look, you might not think my acting is good, but I think your cooking is horrible. You've never had her cooking. I saw your Instagram post. Okay. You're just a hurt little puppy.

Listen, I mean, she does have a good point. You need to have a little bit thicker skin if you're going to try to get into the acting business. Yeah. Yeah, well, you're going to have to have thicker skin if you're going to want to get into my closet. Back of the closet. Are you going to have to have thicker skin if you're going to want to get into my closet. Back of the closet. Are you going to ask now? I don't even think we're going to offer to send him out on a date. You can just read the vibe in this room.

No, I want to go on another date with her. I want to reread a different script, and I want to prove to you, Whitney, that I'm a good actor. Oh. I would almost want to take him up on that if I were you, Whitney. And maybe with the kissing scene. I don't think they're there. It's going to be a fighting scene for sure.

Little mattress marathon at the end. You know what I mean? Oh my god, I was in that movie. James, you've seen my work? Mattress marathon. It's a lot shorter of a movie than you a movie he's just the weird extra in the back james i'm gonna see you in hollywood buddy we'll walk the red carpet together yeah you are brooke and jeffrey in the morning john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which

means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.