Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: Due the Math

Episode Date: January 11, 2025

We promise you that you’ve never heard of anything like the move a guy pulled to ask out our listener outside a coffee shop. Hear his smooth move coming up in your Second Date Update!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emmy Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction.

You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we just need to apologize right now for taking over your TikTok For You page.

Yeah. Sorry, not sorry? My God. Yes. All the old ones are going viral, but the new ones are so much better. Okay? I'm so glad you found them. Follow, like, whatever you're supposed to do on these podcasts.

And just sit back and listen. Second Date Update. Is there any way to do the math to figure out what type of person you're the most compatible with? Is there math for that? Oh, I'm bad at math, too. I'm never going to find it. Like, start with affectionate. Okay.

Multiply by heavy petting. Right. Subtract two blindfolds. Keep one. Divide with an overbearing mother. Oh, this is Jeff Math. I get it now. You're going to die alone.

Okay. Shoot. There we go. Every time I try to calculate this, I keep coming up with the same answer. Is this the infinity symbol? It's like time zero any time you add the mother. Right. Yeah, that's exactly it.

Thank goodness our listener Justine found a different formula. Hopefully her results are better than mine because apparently she's been single for a bit now. Justine, how's the dating world going for you? Are you also reserving a burial plot for one? Yeah.

Oh, okay. I can hear you laughing through the tears so that's good it's all right justine but i haven't put my deposit down the funny thing is you're not alone in that yeah you know a lot of us are out there with you but you said that you figured out some sort of mathematic formula to help you with your dating life what was that yeah it's like this online test oh and basically you put in all the stuff that you care about like your preferences and whatever for like finding a partner yeah and it's supposed to come back with like the percentage of men on dating apps who like fit those preferences oh

really so wait they also take the test then or no i think that it probably i'm guessing it's an algorithm that goes through and looks at their dating profiles. Is that how it works? Yeah. And so like I started out like super basic. I was like, they have to have a job. They have to like not live at their parents' house, like have a car. Okay.

The standards are crazy on your end. Literally, I didn't put a single thing that was physical like height or anything and it came back with less than 1% of men. Just having a car and a job? Truly. Oh my goodness.

So you weren't feeling positive I'm guessing at that number? You know, that's like very bleak. Okay. Anyway, I like after after all of that, ended up meeting this guy named James, like just in a coffee shop. Oh.

Just randomly? Didn't even need the dating apps. She ran into the 1%. Okay. That's kind of funny, like the irony. How did that interaction happen? I literally was just sitting down and I was like scrolling and he comes up to me and he's like,

are you accepting applications? And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't work here. Like I thought he was like applying at the coffee shop. Oh, okay. Were you wearing like an apron or something? No, I guess I just like looked like I was, I don't know. I don't know. Or you're a manager. You know, sometimes you walk into a restaurant or something, you see a manager working. That's a good point. Yeah. How did you respond to him when he asked about application? I was like, oh, sorry, I don't work here.

And he was like, no, no, like, to be your boyfriend. Oh. It was all a lie. Okay. Did you like that? I mean, I thought it was funny, but he, like, fully went along with it. And he was like, listen, I brought my resume. I've got, like, my history and experience.

And he legitimately, like, pulled out a piece of paper. Shut up. Wait, what? He had a dating resume? Yes. Oh, I have to know what was on it. Or is it a move that he pulls on women all the time, and he has 20 quote-unquote dating resumes in his pocket to hand out whenever he sees someone cute? Kind of like the real world of getting a job.

Would you try to stand him out. Yeah. She's right. You're working. You have them on you. If she liked the resume, who cares how many other people? Like, what was on it? You know, like, basic stuff. Like, he likes going to games and hiking. But he was like, yeah, if you want to set up an interview,

you can just, like, call the number. And I was like, why don't you just sit down now and I can interview you? Oh, my gosh. Dude, great response. Yeah, my God. Great response. Yeah. And it was really nice. Like, he turned out to be an awesome guy. He, like, offered to literally Venmo me for the coffee that I'd already bought.

That's awesome. What a good guy. If you look poor here, you probably need this money. What was the hardest boyfriend interview question that you asked him? Well, OK okay so i've actually like done interviews at my real job so i was like okay i'm just gonna pull some of these and i was like what's one thing you don't want me to know about you dude he is so not prepared i would hate that question to be asked to me on a first day but did he have an answer for you

he did and it was like it was like ready-made. It's like he expected it, and he legitimately said, I pry when I watch The Matrix because I'm scared about the future. Oh! I don't think that was prepared. I feel like that was honest. Yeah, it seemed so obscure. There's no way he just thought of that.

How did you feel about that response? Honestly, I thought it was really really funny and it was really clever and like because it was so quick i was like oh no you're serious yeah yeah it's not a red flag to you that he thinks the matrix is actually going to happen in the next few years there could have been so many worse answers he said like yeah that is so much better than anything okay so anyway at the end he's like so did i get the job and i was like, we probably should set up like a second interview. Yeah, because he's like, oh, then I definitely got the job. And we kind of like left it off there, and it was funny, and we laughed.

And then he like never called me again. What? Weird. I like texted him and made jokes about like, hey, we need to set up your second interview, and it was just silence. No. Did you guys kiss or anything or like hug? Was there a physical vibe? Yeah, like a normal job interview?

It's not a real job interview. It doesn't sound like a transition job. How do you think I got hired here? That's true. I mean, that is strange though because he's the one that approached you. He's the one that did the line. Like, why wouldn't he be calling back? But she's the one that took it to the next level that actually made him sit down for it. He probably just

thought it was a smooth line and was going to back away. I don't know. But he literally was the one asking, like, did I get the job? Yeah. He just wants the ego boost. He doesn't mean he has to accept it. The offer the company gives you isn't good. Or he's got to put in two weeks at his last job. He's like engaged.

We've got to find out. There's clearly a lot of options on the table. We're going to find out for sure what happened when we come back and call James to do your second date update right after this. Second date update. Is there any setting more romantic than a job interview? Yes, many, many, many. Jeff, it shouldn't be romantic. I don't know, Brooklyn.

I think HR does. You're dressed all nice. You're talking about your biggest strengths and your greatest weaknesses. Okay, Jeff. And all of a sudden, what comes out of your pants? Oops. Oh, God. A resume.

No. Would you look at that? I just happen to have that on me. Why is it? Is that rolled up in your pant pocket? No wonder it's so warm. That's actually kind of what happened to one of our listeners who met a guy recently. It wasn't an official job application, but some dude saw her at a coffee shop and asked,

hey, are you taking boyfriend applications? It is so smooth. And he even had a resume in his pants. That's why it's even smoother. In his pocket. Okay. Or who knows where it was. We don't know.

Either way. We didn't know. It's kind of sus that he just carries that around waiting to whip out to any cute girl. If that's what he does, but we don't know. He may have done this just for her. Here's the thing. At least he's putting some effort in. Yeah.

Like. It did work and he got to sit down with her for a little interview slash mini first date. Yeah. By the end, he said he was definitely going to call her for a little interview slash mini first date. By the end, he said he was definitely going to call her. And according to her, he definitely didn't. So I think we're all a little bit concerned that this little shtick he's doing is working too well. And maybe he's applying to multiple boyfriend positions all throughout the city. There are a lot of openings. There's a lot of openings.

Not a lot of good candidates. Justine, if this turns out where he actually does this all the time and meets hundreds of women this way, how could we make him remember you and have you stand? Like, how do we identify you? Or do you still even want to go out with him at that point? Well, at least I'm curious to hear what he has to say. But, yeah, I was wearing a green romper.

I have red hair and glasses. Okay, cute. Cute. Like a Ronald McDonald sort of thing. I feel like you were the only one that sat him down and actually gave him like a legit interview. That's true. I mean, like, how could he not remember you? Yeah.

Yeah. That's the word, hopefully. So we'll see if he does remember you and what he has to say. We're going to dial James's phone number right now. Here we go. Hello. Hey, we're looking for James. Yeah, this is him.

Who's this? Where we we are a radio show. Jim, sorry. What? You fumbled like the first word. Yeah yeah thanks for pointing out all my flaws sorry in front of everybody you know if you're interviewing for this job we're calling on behalf of our boss justine and apparently you applied for the position of her boyfriend role recently oh okay yeah yeah you remember that interview do you remember that interview i i mean i i remember a few of them yeah you were on to something there that's all right though i mean we expected that yeah we heard about

the move that you pulled on our listener where you walked up to her and you like had a resume and asked if there was a boyfriend opening is that something that you've done a lot uh yeah yeah i've done that a good amount can i can i guess how many times is it 200 times so many there's no way i i don't know about 200 i want to know the success. How many of those turn into a date? They do sometimes. I've definitely met some interesting people. Okay. I am curious about that. Before we get to Justine specifically, what are some of the

quirky things that you found out while trying this on other people before? I mean, there was this one girl who was an extreme couponer. Oh. Whoa. I've never met before. Yeah, that's interesting. They have TV shows about people like that. We call them cheapskates, but yeah, go ahead.

There's another girl who kept talking about alien abductions. That was really interesting. Was that a turn-on for you? It sounds like you're just meeting people to meet weird people. Are you actually looking for something in this? You know, I don't really know what I'm looking for, to be honest.

It's just, it's proven to be a great way to meet people. People really respond interestingly. Maybe you're looking for a girl who wears a green romper to a coffee shop and has bright red hair. Remember that girl? And just tells you to sit down for the interview right away when you ask. Oh, yeah. Thank God you told me what she was wearing because now I know who you're talking about.

Oh, my God. Wait, other women ask you to sit down for the interview too? How else would we find out the alien stories? That's a good point. Oh, my God. So now you remember Justine. Yeah, yeah, I remember Justine. What did you think?

Yeah. Here's the thing. I do this a good amount, and it's just, you know, it's all over the place, the reactions that I get. But Justine's was like, she was really quick with it, and she was different. Okay. I'll be honest, that kind of freaked me out. Oh, it did? I didn't know how to respond.

Because she beat you at your own game, essentially, right? Yeah, yeah, pretty much. But what does that mean? That seems like it'd be a turn on. No, men don't like to be outsmarted. I was just kidding. How do they ever meet anyone? James, how did you feel talking to Justine like that?

Were you scared of her? You know, yeah, honestly, I just, I never take this thing seriously. It's just, it's just sort of a gimmick. And for the first time, I felt like, wow, this really could be something. You can't let your own insecurity stand in the way of that. You want someone who challenges you, who makes you. What's your hold up then? I guess I'm just not used to that.

I've never had that happen before. So you finally found her and you're like, what do I do? That's why you're single, my man. Like you don't know how to move forward now that you realize you actually like her. Kind of. Like she might just be quicker than me. I don't know. I think she is.

Yeah. Yeah, that's terrifying. I mean, I appreciate the honesty. You know what? If you think that's terrifying, just wait until you hear that she's actually been listening to this conversation the entire time. It is on the other line right now. Are you serious? Hey.

Hey. Scary Justine. Try not to scream. Hey. Hey, Justine. Come on, James. You were like, I thought we had like a banter. We did.

We did. It freaked me out. I've never had a ban banter. We did. We did. It freaked me out. I've never had a banter before. Oh, man. You have every right to be like confident and witty. And like the guy that I met could like play ball. Like he could play chess. And I feel like you're just like afraid of that.

But honestly, you kept up in the conversation great. Like it was, I really enjoyed our conversation. I'm a little sad that like now you're like backing out i mean i'm not backing out i'm just sort of uh like frozen not not sure what to do okay okay this is positive now we need to dethaw you and get you back into action what did i picture him popping him in a microwave well whatever we gotta do she liked your energy when you first met so just bring that back and talk to her Why did I picture him popping them in a microwave? Well, whatever we got to do. She liked your energy when you first met, so just bring that back and talk to her.

Yeah, I mean, I can definitely do that. More confident than that, though. Yeah, Justine, I would like that. I would like if we could keep this going. Wait, what? Oh, it sounds kind of timid to me. Let's start. Can you try to say it a little more assertive, please? Put some flair on it, James.

Seriously. All right, Justine, let's do this. All right. Let's do this. I thought you guys were going to talk right now. Yeah. Oh, no, not in front of you. He's scared.

Dude, you can't ask for interviews. You can't apply to be people's boyfriends and then not. It's like you put Riz on your application, but you have no Riz. Yeah, show it to us. Here's the thing. I think you do have Riz. I think you're just afraid of messing up, and it keeps you from being bold. She's calling you out, dude.

Like, you did really well, but I think you got in your head. I think so. When there are no stakes, it's easy. But now that there's stakes, it's different. Oh, that's actually kind of cute.aks, it's easy. But now that there's steaks, it's different. Oh, that's actually kind of cute. Well, it's true. There will be steaks if we pay for them because we will offer to send you to a steakhouse. Really?

Yeah, our gift cards cover them. I like free steaks. And it's going to be an Applebee's steak. I thought we were going to Sizzler. Skirt steaks. But we'd like to send you guys out on one more date that we would pay for if you're not too afraid, James. Come on, James. Yeah, I we love that

i feel like if we didn't call and push you into this then this date never even would have happened yeah i mean we don't know that i feel like we kind of know that okay justine you're still okay with it? I am open to a second interview. But he honestly sounds like pretty different, a lot more timid. So we'll just have to see how a less rehearsed interview goes. Okay. Was the first one just a show or is it really who he is? Yeah. We'll find out. Let's put it in a real world experience.

I'm doing the dating math on this just like Justine did originally. And I'm saying this relationship is probably at a 5% chance right now. Higher than I was going to give it. So yeah, that's good. Unless he says something really smooth right now. I got nothing. Okay, it's a 2% chance.

Good luck, you guys. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them.

More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will, too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make

sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show,

and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rappaport.

And my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it. And there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.