Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: How Dare You Chat Me Up

Episode Date: January 13, 2024

The guy on the phone today gets points for a creative first date idea, but his lady disappeared on him and now we’re on the case trying to figure out exactly how he went wrong. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. Normally, when we hear a guy say he went out with a woman who's way out of his league, the first thing that comes to our minds is looks. Yeah, I think you're right. We're thinking she's a New York 10, He's an Idaho 6 1⁄2.

Oh, yikes. Which is still striking gold for me. Poor Brooke. But you know what? Not in this case. I'll take that nugget. One of our listeners, Tyler, says he went out with someone whose brain is a 10. Oh, that's awesome.

I love that. And he's still an Idaho 6 1⁄2. Okay, good for you. But Tyler, you say she's good looking too, right? She is, yes, yes. Okay, red flag, pretty and smart. What's wrong with her? Damaged goods.

Her personality's got to suck. There you go. There it is. Where'd you meet this girl? We met online. So she kind of checks all my boxes physically. She checks all these boxes and she's still online dating? Was it like Tinder or scientist inquiries? I kind of check all my boxes physically. She checks all these boxes and she's still online dating?

Was it like Tinder or Scientist Inquiries? Just a normal dating app, I'm guessing. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And what's her name? We didn't get that. Veronica. Veronica. That is a fancy name.

That name is a 10. She's 10. That's her full name. Thank God. She's just ready to date her. Tell us a little bit about Veronica. What did you like about her? Okay, so, I mean, obviously, beautiful.

But you could just tell she was really interesting and smart. And do you mean tell, like, when you saw her dating profile or when you met her in person? The profile. Okay. Oh, really? Because she's into art and she's into books and reading. Boring. I know.

Jose has swiped left seven times since she started talking. I mean, even audiobooks, I'd be like, eh. Well, but that's something that you like about her. Comic books, maybe. That's something that you like about her? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I like somebody who's smart and who's educated.

All kidding aside, intellect is sexy for sure. That's great. So what did you end up doing for your date? So I thought I could make it a little bit unique since she's so much into art and literature and reading. So we went to a few different libraries, like all these unique places. You went with that instead of like, I don't know.

Yeah, exactly. But a library. Really anything but a library. Just because you, bro. Really anything but a library. Just because you post a book when you like a library. Stop judging. There are some dark, seedy sections in every library where you can sneak away to do some nasty things. Listen, I spend actually a lot of time in the library. Not in the good parts.

Apparently not. And I just, they're not, that'd be hard to like sit and have a conversation. They're quiet places. That's true, but it's not just about books. It's about you look around and the architecture of the buildings because libraries are pretty cool. That's true. A lot of them have coffee shops in there too.

Do they? I don't think so. I know. When's the last time you went to a library? He's going to libraries. They have restrooms and a computer area. I know. Okay. When was the last time you went to a library? He's going to libraries. He's going to like adult places. They have restrooms and a computer area. Yeah, they all have ATMs. You can pull cash out.

Right? No. This isn't coffee. What am I drinking? Wait a minute. Oops. Okay. We'll talk to Jeff off air about this.

Well, you know what, Tyler? If you had a good time in the library and she had a good time, then that's great. Yeah. I will say I already like this. This is probably the most unique day one of them that we've ever heard where you guys are finding a different thing to entertain yourself. I feel like that's a stretch. I like it for them. I don't like it.

What was her thoughts, though? I felt like it went well. Maybe the problem was she had to drive separately because I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, you know, driving to some place with somebody you don't really know. Sure. You drove separately to all three libraries? Yeah. Yeah. Should have paid for parking.

I feel like after the first one, you would feel safe enough to ride together. Or was it four? I mean, it doesn't matter. I guess not. That's a valid point. But, you know, the other thing is, and you guys brought it up a little bit, it's tough to talk and get to know each other when you're in a library. You've got to kind of be quiet

a little bit. I'm not really comfortable and outgoing all the time, so I thought it may be a little bit more romantic to go somewhere where I didn't have to talk as much and be on as much. We can kind of be a little bit more intimate. Intimate by being

silent? Just eye contact. Get to know each other without actually having to babble on and on and on. Okay. Feel each other's presence. Like a 20-year-old married

couple. I don't know. Did you feel like she was asking you more questions than you were asking her? I'm actually not sure about that. She probably was a little bit more outgoing than I was. I'll say that. Yeah. Yeah.

I only ask is like, you know, maybe that is a sign that she was like trying to fill the void. Right. Yeah. That it wasn't comfortable for her. She's asking questions. She's like, I'm trying to read. Don't make me.

Yeah. I mean, maybe it felt like she wanted to talk more and i want to be a little bit more quiet and reserved okay well i feel like calling a radio station for help is going to prove to her that you do have an outgoing side as well yeah it can be outgoing for you yeah was there at any point during the day a super romantic or flirtatious moment that would be like a highlight you could point out yeah we were being jokey and flirty and one time i grabbed a self-help book that said that you know the beginner's guide to human sacrifice and said oh that's kind of funny though i don't know if that's

but it's something okay it's like i don't have virgin blood so it's not gonna work yeah maybe on your next day you could sacrifice someone together and we'll send you there She's like, I don't have virgin blood, so it's not going to work. Maybe on your next day you could sacrifice someone together, and we'll send you there, hopefully, if we can get her on the line when we do your second date update right after this. Thank you. All right, hold on. Second date update. This little piggy went to the library.

This little piggy went to another library. This little piggy went to a third library. It's all libraries with this piggy and no coffee shops inside like I thought there were. Oh, okay. You should go to one sometime, Jeff. I guess so because Tyler, our listener, took Veronica to a bunch of different libraries around the city because he knew that she loved reading and art and smart stuff like that. But afterwards,

this little piggy hasn't been able to get himself another date, so he went wee-wee-wee all the way to the radio station for help. Are we the big bad wolf? No, we're the safe place. I feel like this is the last time you read, and I'm a little concerned

about that. Well, that's okay. Yeah. We're going to do one library, two libraries. One fish, two fish. It's not about me and my reading. It's about Tyler and trying to get him hooked up again with Veronica. Tyler, how you feeling, man? Lucky?

Question mark? Okay, why? I feel like I'm going to get lucky. You guys are going to pull through for me. Okay. That has a different meaning than you think. We're not providing that service. Okay, why? I feel like I'm going to get lucky. You guys are going to pull through for me. Okay, that has a different meaning than you think. We're not providing that service. But we forgot to ask, like, have you talked to her at all since your library date?

No. I called once and I sent a text. Nothing. Well, that's our special. That's not too much either. That's good. Well, we have dozens and dozens of phone lines to call her on. One of them she has to answer. Let's give it a shot, okay?

We're going to call her from eight different lines at once? I will call her for four straight days until she picks up the phone. I promise you that, Tyler, okay? Let's do this. I bet she just wants on one line will work. Okay, let's try it the first time. Here we go. Hello? Hi, is this veronica uh yeah who's calling hey this is jeff from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in the morning oh okay i like to pause there to see if there's any recognition i also

feel like it made you sound intellectual she reads reads books. She don't listen to our show. Yeah. We hear that you are an intellectual type. Yeah. Is that true? Fancy. I am so confused. Why are you guys calling me?

What? You ask good questions. You are smart. I'm an intellectual. Yes. We've heard that from one of our listeners named Tyler, who you apparently went out with the other day to several libraries. Oh.

Yeah. But now you're not calling him back. And so we're trying to help him through this segment called the Second Date Update to figure out if something went wrong. Or if we could fix it. Yeah. You know? To see what's going on. Maybe get you another shot.

Okay. So our radio station is trying to play matchmaker. Okay. Is this real? Yeah. Of course it is. It's going on. Maybe get you another shot. Okay, so a radio station is trying to play Matchmaker. Okay, so this is real? Yeah, this is very real. We're not really trying to play Matchmaker. It sounds like you guys already matched online. Well, yeah, no, I mean, we did match online. We met on an app, but I'm not sure if that translated to matching in real life.

Okay. Something just sort of fell off. I'm so curious what your thoughts or feelings were when he suggested the library tour. Yeah. I actually really loved that. I thought that was super unique. You know, I'm just so sick of, like, going to the coffee shop

or, like, going to the bar. Like, I'm just, like, it's just kind of boring. That's why you've got to find a library that has a coffee shop and a bar inside. Don't exist. I'd go to that, actually. I would, too. But you had fun, then, with the library aspect of your date. I mean, I really loved it.

It was such a unique idea. I loved that he sort of took something that I really love, which is books. I love reading. I'm a huge reader. And he kind of, like, tailored the date towards one of my interests, which I thought was really nice. Oh, that's sweet. That's really positive. It's a very thoughtful thing of him to do.

Okay. Yeah, very thoughtful, not generic. But unfortunately, the chemistry just wasn't there. Do you think it's because the setting didn't like give it a chance to chem it? What's the verb for making chemistry we're not as smart as you are yeah what's the verb there to mix to it's i mean it's hard to have a strong connection with someone in a place where you're supposed to stay quiet and whisper all the time is that what's going on yeah i mean we didn't talk a lot in the library and because you kind

of need to be quiet obviously and sure i thought maybe he was nervous or something. So I asked him to grab a drink afterwards. And he said, no, thanks. Oh, he rejected you. Whoa. We didn't hear about that part of the story. Does he not drink? Do you think? Is that why?

I thought maybe that, but he was just a completely different person than who I met online. Like, I thought we were vibing on chatting and then like in person. I'm like, why wouldn't you want to get a drink after going to three libraries? Like, I'm smart. I'm not boring. I mean, was it 10 in the morning? Like a time of the day? Hi, Veronica.

Oh, well, sorry. That's Tyler, who is supposed to wait until we call him in. Oh, my. Okay. All right. He's been listening on the other line this whole time. You can say hi to him, Tyler. Yeah.

Where do you want to go next? Three churches? Like, God. What? I thought you said you liked it. Church architecture is actually pretty crazy. Maybe she's super religious. That'd be worth talking about.

I mean, sorry. So I guess I just, you know, I have something to admit to you and everybody, I guess. Oh, admissions. Okay. I mean, that's fine. I just, you know, if you don't drink, like, no judgment. That's fine. Like, you could have done something else, but you just, like, teased out.

So I'm just really weirded out that you want to ask me out again. But when we matched online you were just you know you're so beautiful intelligent sophisticated i just knew i couldn't match up to that in order to seem more charming i was texting you using you know chat gpt and chat gpt is that the new one that's the ai that is like the computer generated Wait, that wasn't really you texting with her? Yeah, so I'd, like, type in, hey, you're a single guy, say something smart, funny, classic, art, and it came out.

That works, bro? Yeah. Dang, I've got to download this. Is it an app? No, it's a website. It's a website. Okay, well, good to know for other reasons. Wait, so, like, you used artificial intelligence

to talk to me through a dating app? Like, I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around this. Like, so, yeah, you were a completely different person. Oh, she's right. He was. He was like a droid, and now he's a human. I feel like I got catfished by, like, a chatbot is what happened. Yeah.

Oh, a charming chatbot. Oh, my God. Wait, wait. So you don't actually like Monet, then? That's how you pronounce it? I thought it was like Manet. Monet. Dude, you got to tell us this type of stuff before we call someone.

This is not. I was just a little nervous. That's all. It's just for me, I'm a little bit shy at first, but once you get to know me, I have a much better personality, a bigger personality. It's just the initial meeting was a little bit intimidating to me. I mean, and it makes sense why you picked a library so you didn't have to talk. Oh, and that's why you said no to the bar, too.

You were nervous like, nervous about exposing yourself. Like, free thought. I mean, exposing, not in that way. Like, just not living up to the intellectuals that you showed online. Yeah. You basically lied about all of your interests and then plagiarized an entire

online conversation with me, so I'm talking to, like, a fake person. No, I'm not a fake person. I put out all the emojis myself. That's some sophisticated stuff. There are hundreds of them to pick through. I picked the right one. It took a lot

of intellectual labor to pick out a book emoji when we're talking about books. The one with the glasses would have been cuter. The nerd one. brooke do you give him any credit here for at least going through all this effort to try and impress her yeah i get that you didn't have enough to offer her and that's too bad that's a little bit harsh well i mean all of it but like i think you should come at it with a big apology instead of don't blame me for this.

Like, that's kind of not an awesome look. I agree. Yeah, I just, I don't know. I just, because we didn't really get a chance to talk talk at the library. So I thought maybe a second date at the exact same time we had the first date wasn't in my best interest. You're not making any sense, Tyler. That doesn't make any sense at all. Ask chatbot what you should say here, Tyler.

Dad, do you have it pulled up right now? Are you using your actual responses? Or do you have a laptop open while we're on the phone? I don't trust you now, and that's bad. I've been honest with you since we've been talking on the radio here, and I do have the chatbot up. I'm just not using it. The blank screen.

Okay. Oh, my God. Maybe you should. Oh, my God. Maybe you should. Jeffrey. Come on. It could hurt.

Wow. I mean, he's earnest. He likes you. And I bet he really does like Monet. Tyler, say something nice about Monet. He uses wonderful colors. Yeah. Oh. My nephew said the same thing when he watched Thomas the Train.

Clearly, the intellect is shining through today and we would like to connect you two one more time for another date. And pay for that date. Library, coffee shop, bar, combo gift card. They don't exist.

You're going to find it. Yeah. Veronica? I don't know. I mean, like, Tyler, like, the date idea was all you, I think, maybe, and that was great. And you made some funny joke about human sacrifice. And I think unless you came up with something beforehand, like, I think you should maybe give yourself some more credit because I think you are smart and funny. But you're just not the right person for me.

Like, I already lost my trust. So I'm sorry. I can't get that back. I'm sorry, man. Bad face emoji. Yeah. That was his own emoji. All right, Tyler.

Disappointed face emoji. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too.

Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general.

You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

Dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radioRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.