Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: Lions & Tigers & Capybaras, Oh My!

Episode Date: May 4, 2024

Not only was the guy in today’s Second Date Update humiliated on his night out, but it was at the hands of a 9-year old!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts.

The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm pretty excited because we've never done this before where a couple has met on a very reputable website,

AshleyMadison.com. No! So let's do this. That's for cheaters! Welcome to the show, Ashley... Oh,com. No. So let's do this. That's for cheaters. Welcome to the show, Ashley. Oh, wait. What? Her name's Ashley.

Oh, Jeff. Middle name Madison. You've got me all sorts of problems. Oh, shoot. I must have screwed that up in my notes. I apologize. I had that as where you met. I didn't realize that was your name.

So it would have been really interesting. Yeah. Okay. Well, this isn't going to be as exciting as I thought. Okay. Unless, Ashley, did you perchance meet your special someone on Ashley Madison? Are you rich?

No, I didn't, you guys. My name is Ashley. That's good. So you're both single, you and the other person. Yeah, we're both single, and we met on the app called Hinge. Ashley Madison's nerdy little brother, yes.

That's how I like to think okay so what stood out about brian on hinge brian was really sweet like see i'm used to really flashy guys like narcissists you know show what kind of cars they have all the stuff they have and i'm super over that and I am not that girl at all. Brian was really sweet. Okay. When you were looking for Brian, you were looking for something different than what you had been dating, it sounds like.

A man who doesn't drive a car. Or maybe owns a Prius. Maybe. Sure. Tell us more about this simple man, Brian. Yeah. Like in his profile, I mean, the things that stood out to me he believes in monogamy he said like what his date would look like and he said it would be to have a picnic

in his living room with candlelight like he just seemed light and sweet you know really down to earth like a romantic yeah I mean he sounds just like you said, absolutely cheap. Yeah. So did you did you hit him up? Or did he message you? I messaged him first. But then we just got along right away. He wasn't pushy. He just felt like a safe guy. Okay, that's good. So what's a safe date with Brian? Definitely more seatbelts. Yeah. It was really cute. So it's a safe date with Brian look like? Well, they definitely wore seatbelts. Yeah. It was really cute. So it was my idea for the first date because I volunteer at a zoo. Okay.

And I thought that we could walk around the zoo and we could get to know each other and talk. And at the same time, we have fun things to look at. And plus it's a chance for you to like show off some knowledge, right? because i'm assuming you know a lot about the animals there and how the zoo works and if there's awkward silence there's always something to talk about yeah you know exactly well we're speculating a lot over here but tell us how it actually went ashley yes and because i'm a volunteer i got him in for free that looks good on you. Got the hookup VIP rope. Yeah, but because of that, I, you know, I had to wear my vest with my name tag. Oh, that's how you got him in for free.

Yeah. Okay. So as we're walking around, we're having fun. The parents and the kids would stop. Like if they needed something, the parents would ask me questions about the animals and i would answer the questions and then he could do you maybe think he could find that a little bit annoying that the date keeps getting paused for you to answer other people's questions um i don't think he was annoyed because if he were annoyed then he probably wouldn't be the kind of guy i would want to be with. The kind of guy that wants your attention.

Well, I mean, she's doing her thing. He knew going into it that that's what you were going to do. None of this was a surprise. Yeah, but it probably feels like less of a date, more like a tour. Yeah. That's a good point. I mean, were you able to connect in a romantic way at all? Yeah, but I believe that you should really get to know someone as a friend first

and then from that if we felt like we had mutual respect for each other then something could come from it but I thought this was a really sweet way to let him into my life yeah and and he liked it you guys like it was cute like I know he had fun yeah but he's not calling I mean you're with us like why isn't he calling you back, though? I mean, yeah. Were there any awkward or moments that stood out from the date that could have been a red flag? The only thing, you know, so we stopped at, I don't know if you guys know this animal called capybara. Yeah, they're super cute.

Are those ones kind of like koalas? Am I thinking right? They're like ground koalas. Yeah, okay. They're like ground koalas. Yeah. They're like little tiny bears. Yeah. It's a South American animal. And we were there and we were looking at them and he said he had spent time in South America.

And, you know, we just were having a conversation. Like a nine-year-old kid was there with their parents. So I just challenged Brian and the nine-year-old kid to see who could spell it. Put him on the spot? How did he do? He didn't win. The nine-year-old knew how to spell it, but he didn't.

Oh, sounds like you should probably date that nine-year-old. He sounds like more of a catch. Wait, why was that awkward, though? Was he actually upset that he got beat by a kid? You know what? It's just the only moment that I thought maybe he felt out of place. I could see that being kind of emasculating to me if my date challenged me to a spelling contest against an elementary school child.

Well, it's supposed to be fun and entertaining. Yeah, but after talking to kids all night over him, I'd be done. Yeah. So how did things end with you and Brian? Well, we walked around a little bit more, but he said he had to leave to go to his niece's piano recital. To do more kid things, so he obviously doesn't hate him. True. We didn't have to, like, battle pianos with her.

He just had to sit there and listen. What key am I playing? No, it's not G, it's D. I mean, it's a valid reason to leave. Yeah, you know, I mean, it matched the personality of this person that I'm going out with. So I walked into the gate and we hugged and it was nice. And he left and I haven't heard from him. Have you texted or called?

Yeah, I have. But I don't want to seem like kind of crazy. So, yeah. It sounds like there was not a lot of romance on the date. It could have been fun. But that's not a reason not to call someone back at all. I don't know. Who wants to be in the friend zone? If you don't feel a romantic connection, that's why you don't call people back.

Exactly. That stuff would never happen on Ashley Madison. Exactly. You would have been kissing the coffee bar. Well, I mean, maybe there's something else that we don't even know about yet. And so let's give Brian a call. We'll play a song first. We'll come back and then we'll get your second date update.

Okay. Okay. Thank you guys. All right. Hold on. Second date update. Quick recap of Ashley's first date with Brian, which included an hour and a half of walking,

a detailed zoology lesson on the South American capybara, and of course, a romantic spelling contest against a nine-year-old boy. Man, that is hot, Jeff. I mean, when you recap it like that. That's because

Ashley took Brian to the zoo where she volunteers, and so they walked around together. She had to answer a bunch of questions to children and parents along the way about the different animals. And it ended with Brian saying he had to go attend his niece's piano recital. Now he's not calling her back, which I don't know if you know this. I know you're an expert on animal behavior, but that's very common for the modern male homo sapien.

Yes, I do. Okay. Oh, you really are an expert. Wow. We're going to do our best to get Brian on the phone and get some answers for you. How are you feeling? I'm feeling nervous. Yeah.

I know he's ditching me, but I just don't know why. Right. You know, the thing that I would imagine is hard for you is that this is the first time you're trying to date, like, basically guy right yeah and yeah sometimes the nice guys are just as big of jerks as the true ones that aren't considered nice guys i mean that's just the hard lesson of it i consider myself a nice jerk yeah so you know just don't be too disappointed or like give up hope or anything after this that's good advice you know brooke you're trying to give her a lot of hope so good work on that.

Let's try and stay as optimistic as we can, but we're going to dial his number and see what Brian has to say, okay? Here we go. Okay. Hello? Hey, is this Brian? Yeah, who's this? Hey, what's up, Brian? My name'sff from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in the morning uh sorry i don't know the show that's okay dude i barely know it either and i work here it's all good brother whoa yeah no that's that's a lot of

people yeah yeah we are a whole show yeah there's a bunch of people in this room and we're all very interested in a date that you went on recently with one of our listeners named Ashley. You remember Ashley? That's weird. Was that you or was that your stomach? No, I think he's just shocked. I'd be shocked too.

Like all of a sudden we're talking about this. I get it. I get it. Well, it's just, wait, are you saying that she reached out to you guys? Yeah, it's part of a segment that we do called a second date update. Well, we haven't had a, are you guys trying to find out why I don't want to, I mean. Yeah, we're hoping to get her a second date with you because that's what she wants. And she's a little bit confused about why it's not happening yet.

Well, it's kind of weird what she did. Did she tell you about it? Yeah. I thought it was cute. We thought it was sweet. She said that she took you to the zoo where she volunteers, and she volunteered while on the date as well, so she had to answer a lot of questions and stuff,

but she thought you had a great time. I mean, she did tell us about what happened with you and the nine-year-old kid. And the spelling bee. The spelling mishap oh yeah that's cute yeah you just let him win though right because you're a good guy and that's well you know when you can't spell foilage yeah i thought you're trying to spell capybara well she gave me a few words but i'm not really a great speller so i had trouble with him

she was just telling us not because she was still judging you about your spelling just Well, she gave me a few words, but I'm not really a great speller, so I had trouble with her. Oh, that's a bad challenge. That's fine. She was just telling us not because she was still judging you about your spelling, just simply because she was like, oh, that's the only weird thing that I can remember that happened. She was just trying to have fun with you in that moment. It wasn't meant to embarrass you or anything. Was that like a deal breaker for you? There's not really any deal breakers.

The main thing was that she was like a news source. She was giving out misinformation. Misinformation? Sorry, I don't know why you have to put down news sources. Journalists work really hard in this country. Please don't call yourself a journalist. That's demeaning to actual journalists. I agree with you, but I went to journalism school and I know Biddy went.

A lot of people did. Look, I mean, Brian, we're just trying to help get some answers here because you said that she was giving out misinformation. Do you mean giving misinformation to you or just in general to everybody? To, like, the group that we were walking around with. What do you mean? Like, she's like, that's a capybara and it wasn't a capybara. Like, what are you talking about

one of the kids asked about this beetle on one of the displays and the display itself wasn't labeled and so she just called it a pirate beetle she's like what she's like yeah hi hi beetle he knows his beetle species. I just thought she was trying to be funny, but this kid's like trying to learn something. So I guess the reason why it hit me so hard was because I used to go to the zoo as a kid with my parents. So I was like, but he really might be like genuinely curious

about what that thing is. So you were upset that she made up a name of a beetle and instead of just saying, I don't know, is that what you're saying? Well, yeah, but this is not just one time. We were walking by porcupines and she's like, oh, those are arrow pigs. Arrow pigs. They should be called arrow pigs.

That's a better name, actually. I mean, come on. Everybody knows that was just a joke, though. No, these kids were legit writing down arrow pig. She never corrected them? Does she know what they actually are yeah maybe she doesn't know we walked by a trained mantis yeah she calls them a wobble stick yeah i mean she's really good with nicknames i mean there are animals should be renamed at this point thousands of years i get that was a little bit weird and you were worried about the kids education but like

how does that affect you romantically like how how you bonded with her well i'm a stickler for this stuff so i don't really respect that sort of stuff oh like i get it if you're trying to be funny but if you generally don't know be like i don't know let me go find somebody who does that's my job i don't think that ashley has any idea that you felt this way during the entire tour of the zoo listen though genuinely she's awesome i would love to be like hey look like let's do a second date but well that's perfect because now you can do that right now she's on the other line listening i think he had a butt that you didn't listen to. I didn't want to hear that. I didn't like that part. Good move, Jeff. Ashley. I like it.

Talk to Brian. Hey, guys. Hey, Brian. Hi. I had no clue you were listening. I'm so grateful. Yeah. You're upset because I'm having fun with kids?

But you call the lobster a dragon shrimp. Was that real? That's clever. Why does it sound better now? I know. It does. You should be in charge of naming all the world's animals, Ashley. Either that or you really need to write a kid's book. I do think it's worth asking, though, Ashley. Did you really

not know the names of the animals because you're a volunteer or are you just having fun here? It's a lobster. Who wouldn't know the name of a lobster? Some people have never seen one before actually i know i know the name of the animals but like some of them are made up and i just don't think it's that big of a deal like if i can get a laugh out of these kids while they're at the zoo that that makes me feel good you know so it's not coming from a bad place brian i mean these kids get a laugh but they do flunk out a fourth grade it comes at a price i know it sounds petty but i

just had to say something because it bugs me yeah brian you're being like a grumpy puss you're like a lynx that you can find at the zoo. Hey, that's not a real animal. Lynx are real. What? Now you're confusing me. Oh, wait, lynx are real. Yeah.

They're big cats, yeah. But hold on. All seriousness, what is he supposed to do? Like, call you out in the middle of a group? Like, you know, he's going to make you look unprofessional. Yeah, I'm not going to stop you in the middle of your thing. You just bugged me, and I'm sorry for not talking about it. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Nice guy. That's valid. thing. Just bug me, and I'm sorry for not talking about it. Okay. That shows that he respects you at your job, even if you're doing a terrible job at it. I mean, I think you're making the zoo fun, Ashley, but Brian does bring up a good point. Maybe you

should also include correct information. Can you do both for the kids? Yeah, I mean, I can do that. Maybe Brian should be volunteering at the zoo. Oh. You're like a comedic duo. You get the punchlines and he brings the info. Oh, I like it.

You know what I mean? It's the Ashley and Brian show. We can actually set that up for you guys right now and send you on your second date and pay for that date. Well, you know what? I don't think that's a bad idea. What if I call them penguins and then she called them ISIS chickens, black and whitest?

You know, you guys have to work on your shtick a little bit. I think you should stick with the names. Yeah, leave the names to her. I'd actually just call them ICE chickens. That would be funnier. I like that. All right, but I'm hearing the connection happening. Are we doing this?

Ashley, are you up for it? Yeah, I'm up for it. Okay. Brian, is that a yes from you? Second datus approvis. Oh, I see. He's bringing the science to the science. That was still a yes, though, right?

That is. We're on. Successful second date update. Congratulations, guys. Thank you. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast. Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team

for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series.

My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host, Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.