Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: Most Malone

Episode Date: March 30, 2024

One of our listeners has a closing move that was not only fun and flirtatious, it also comes with pizza. We guarantee guys are gonna try and steal this… and you can hear it in your Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. When someone tells you they went on the best date of their entire life. Oh, my gosh. It's very exciting. Yes. But that could mean a lot of different things to different people.

Yeah, for sure. Like for Brooke, that's probably eating a corn dog in a porta potty after downing an entire bucket of sangria. Yeah, for sure. Like for Brooke, that's probably eating a corn dog in a port-a-potty after downing an entire bucket of sangria. Oh my God. That sounds so fine. Right? It's like a fairy tale. Yeah, I'm not even with anyone.

I just find myself in there. For Jose, it would probably be staying at home. One bowl of pho, two spoons. Playing Fortnite together while they take turns trash-talking the preteens. Yeah, and I'm sitting on her lap. But for one of our listeners, Zoe, she emailed saying she went on the best date of all time.

Oh my gosh, Zoe, I'm so excited to talk to you. We're wanting to hear what this is. Welcome to the show, Zoe. Hi, thank you so much. I cannot wait to tell you about my date. It was so good. When I listened to your voice, it had to have involved funnel cake.

Were you eating anything inside of a porta potty? No, but I went out with this guy named Miles. I had him on a dating app. He looked like Post Malone, but like buffer, but with no tattoos.

Okay. All right. That's a good look. I'm having a hard time visualizing what Post Malone without tattoos. I'm imagining like Tobey Maguire now. I don't know what I'm just excited for. She's in that sing-song voice. Anytime you have that voice, you know you're just happy.

Why is he attracted to you? He was so hot. If you saw him, you would understand. Okay. Hot, buff, Post Malone, no tattoos. Yeah, let's go. Exactly. Exactly.

And so we, you know, texted back and forth. We hit it off online. So we decided to meet up for drinks, right? Were you this excited going into the date? Kind of. Okay. Maybe that's a good thing. Guys can vibe off of that, actually. Yeah, and it sounds like you ride it on a high frequency already.

Okay. So let's get into the date. How did that go? So we met up for drinks, and he looked just like his picture, but even hotter. Oh, my God. Okay. So he didn't take a Post Malone photo and Photoshop it to make it look the way you wanted He's better.

We're going to call him Most Malone. Oh, I like that. All right. He was the perfect package. And so we're chatting, and he's fun and creative, and then he, like, gets playful. And he's like, you know what? Let's play I Spy. And I'm like, what?

Okay. Wait, like the color game that I play with my kids? Yeah. Well, you know, like I Spy and you say something you see, right? And it could be anything. But are you making it flirty or it's actually, like, trees and stuff? I Spy with my little little eye the color gray. I spy a salt shaker.

Yeah, how did romantic Post Malone do it? Romantic Miles, he laid on the charm and he said, I spy someone really cute. And then you got jealous and you were like, who is she? Your voice went to just an octave that I think only dogs could hear just there. So he was talking about you, right? Well, I hope so, but I didn't want to be presumptuous.

So, you know, I said, is it the bartender? And then he was like, no. And so then I'm like, I'm like, is it me? And he's like, yes! And I was like, no. And so then I'm like, is it me? And he's like, yes. And I was like, oh, my God, I love this show. I mean, yeah, you were not like turned off at all.

The fact that it's a little bit cheesy maybe. Are you listening to her? She's like, I can't believe it was me. I can't believe it took me 40 guesses to finally get there. What about that bartender? What about that bartender? I won the game! There's no way. Okay, well, if you liked it, that's great.

I liked it. His charm worked for me. Okay, what happened next? It feels like this is leading straight into a kiss. Well, we did get a little peck, and then we decided, know what we should go it's really late and so i looked up uber and they were like crazy expensive okay i'm like oh maybe i could stay with them longer right he didn't want he didn't want to pay for the expensive uber the

only person excited about search pricing what do you Well, so once again, he pulls out his creativity card and he's like, let's go to this pizza place I know up the street and then ask them if we order a large pizza, will the delivery driver take us home? That's so creative. That's genius. I hate to give him credit for that, but that is a good idea. I mean, they're going to drive to your house anyway. Dude, totally.

Included in the price. And the delivery driver will be like, an extra 20 bucks, I'll take a good idea. They're going to drive to your house anyway. It's included in the price. And the delivery driver will be like, an extra $20, I'll take it. Did they do that? So we asked them, and they said yes. Uh-oh. You're going to have to deliver 40 other pizzas along the way. We'll eventually get you there. Luckily, he didn't.

So the cool thing is we got to ride home and eat pizza and continue our conversation. Just like the pizza delivery guy sitting in the front seat? Yeah. It made his night interesting. So how did you guys leave it? Well, so he gave me a peck kiss because, you know, we were kind of pizza covered. And we both just slept on a high, or least i did and you know we texted for a couple days after that and and then i haven't heard from him and okay weird do you know if he

had like a really busy schedule or something no he didn't say that he did and i'm just kind of worried that maybe he met somebody else on the dating app. Because he was such a catch. Maybe he spied somebody even cuter. Uh-oh. Do not say that. Do not say that. That's the backfire of the I Spy game. Okay. I'm just hoping that you guys can call and see what's going on because I don't want this guy to get away because he's like the perfect guy.

It was like the best date. It sounds so fun. It really does. It was so fun. I'm does. It was so fun. I'm honestly a little bit nervous to hear how excited he's going to be. If it's the same level of excitement, the speakers might explode in the studio. Keep chopping each other. We'll find out, though.

We'll come back. We'll call Most Malone for you and try and get your second date update right after this. Second date update. If you're just joining us, we're talking to one of the least excited people that we have ever had on this show. I see. Okay.

Boy, has she been a downer. Yeah. Real depresso. Yeah. Zoe is her name. Oh, her name is even like bubbly. I know. Zoe Zing.

I assume her last name is. Yeah, her and a guy named Miles met up for some drinks, is even like bubbly. I know. Zoe Zing. I assume her last name is. Yeah, her and a guy named Miles met up for some drinks, played a pretty boring game of I Spy, it sounded like.

And then convinced a pizza place that if they bought a large pie, they could ride home with the delivery guy in the back seat. So genius.

Oh, it was. I mean, look, I'll give her credit for a fun date, but her recap was just such low energy. Oh, my God. If people are just tuning in, again, Jeff's being sarcastic.

This is very sarcastic. Play the tape back and prove me wrong. Okay. I'm just hoping that Zoe can turn it up a notch for this next part. Shift out of neutral into first gear. Zoe, you need a coffee or something to perk up? Oh, no. No, no.

I've had like four already. I'm good. Yeah. Okay. We can hear that. Maybe you need four more or something. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I'm excited, you guys. This is member Most Malone, the guy of her dreams. Most Malone. At least one person is excited on this phone call. I guess it's going to have to be Brooke. I think it's a few of us. I'm excited. Yeah, that's right, girl.

We know. Listen to the depression in her voice. Hey, the one thing we never asked you is why do you think he's not calling back? Did you say that already? No, I don't know. You know, and that's why I've tried to, like, lay low and only text, like, twice a day. Good.

But, you know, I'm not, like, over texting, but it's not helping. Wait, are you texting twice a day without responses? Yeah. Yeah, is that bad? Yeah, only twice. He's not going to know that you're into him if you're only texting him twice. I need a girl to text me at least 50 times. You guys, Zoe, that's also sarcasm.

Okay? Yeah. That's not usually a good thing. Well, too late now, so. Yeah. It wasn't awful. If it's like, hi, and then later in the day, it's like, okay, well, hope you're having a good day.

She hasn't heard from him in over a week. That is like. I thought she said two days. It doesn't matter. Texting's for suckers anyway. So we're just going to call him. There we go. Let's go.

Get it done. Ready, Zoe? Yes. All right. Okay. Never going to get her up. So let's just do it. Here we go. Get it done. Ready, Zoe? Yes. All right. Okay. Never going to get her up, so let's just do it. Here we go. Hello, this is Miles.

Oh, hey. Very formal. You are formal, Miles. What's up, Miles? What's up? We're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay. Yeah. All right. What's up, Brooke and Jeffrey radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay. Yep.

All right. What's up, Brooke and Jeffrey? Wow. Thank you. Hello. You're very casual and cool. What's going on? He's all the things, Jeff.

He's all the things. That's why he's most maloned. Yeah, we've heard a lot about you, Miles, actually, from one of our listeners that you went on a date with recently named Zoe. From Zoe, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Huh.

We're doing something called a second date update, trying to help her figure out why the two of you haven't met up for another date. Oh, jeez. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that fun? Yeah.

Yeah. All right. That's fun. Okay. He's also being sarcastic. We're not going to take it that way. Tell us about, we want to know more about Zoe and what you thought of her. Yeah.

Zoe. So, all right, this is a girl we met online and it was, we had a very good time. I had a very good time on the date. She said it was a great date. Awesome. It sounds like. I'm sure she did. I had a very good time on the date. She said it was a great date. Awesome. I'm sure she did. I'm sure she did. Was she as depressing on your date as

she was when we talked to her? Yeah. No, no, no. Very fun-loving girl. That's for sure. Look, I was having fun, too. We were having a good time. I was feeling loose. She's someone you can joke around with and stuff. She was a good time. We were having a good time. I was feeling loose. She's someone you can joke around with and stuff. She was a good time.

We were having a good time. So if you have all these positive things to say about her and she made you feel all these good ways and you could be loose in yourself, then why not meet up with her one more time? I guess she told you about our date. She told you about the pizza delivery guy. I had him drive us home. Yeah. The hack you did to get a cheap ride home instead of Uber. Yeah.

Yeah. And she was so cool about that, too. I'll say that. Like, not every woman would necessarily be super cool about that. Yeah. Not every woman would get in the car of a complete stranger. Well, there is pizza in the back of that car. So I feel like pretty much anybody would do it.

Anyway. Anyway. So during the ride home, as we're going home we were laughing we were having a good time and she said to me i'm just having such a good time with you you're so much fun you're so great i don't want anyone else to have you i don't want anyone else to match with you i'm gonna report you on the app so that you can't talk to anyone and like she said it as she was laughing and i'm laughing too and i'm like yeah yeah no i'll report you first uh-huh yeah right okay that's a funny joke moment sure enough a couple days later i get a notification that i got reported on the app no are you sure that's

not coincidence are you sure it was her i mean i'm not a hundred percent sure that it was her but i haven't met up with anybody else. I didn't see anybody else. And are you doing anything inappropriate that would get you reported, bro? No, no, I'm not doing anything inappropriate. Wouldn't you ask her about it? Like, she said you guys were texting.

Well, she was texting. No, she was texting, and then that came through, and she said she was going to do that, so I figured it was her okay okay and i look i was pretty pissed when that came through i was gonna ask is that a turnoff i think so bro yeah it's a major turnoff to have a company tell you you're being if you've been a creep or something it It's very disturbing and kind of frightening. In a way, it's kind of flattering. Yeah, no, I didn't

take it that way. I didn't think it was a good idea. I don't think it's a fun dating hack. Yeah, Jeffrey's being sarcastic. I don't even know what she... Who knows what she could have reported me for? Well, that's a great question. Here's a fun dating hack. We're going to put the two of you together on the phone right now and let you guys talk about it.

Yeah. Find out from the source. Because she's been listening on the other line this whole time. Wanted to talk to you. Hi, Miles. Hello, Zoe. Hi. I would never do that.

That was not me. I would do that. That wasn't you. Really? That wasn't you? I would never do that. Didn't you know how much I liked you and how much fun we had? No, I did.

I definitely did. And I definitely remember you saying that you were going to report me, and then I got reported. Oh. Do you want to just admit that it was you? No, no. Don't you remember? I was joking, and we were laughing about about it and you joked back about it.

I know. It was so funny until it happened. It was so funny until it happened. Oh, my God. Zoe, be honest. Did you do it? Did you report him? I did not do that.

I mean, I like this guy. I want to keep him around in my life, not push him out of it. That was kind of a long pause before you continued your sentence. I don't know. I believe her. So, Zoe, there's 0% chance that you hit the report button. Your finger didn't slip and accidentally... I mean, the only way that could have happened if maybe I was, like like blackout drunk one night,

and I don't remember that. Well, that's the problem. That's the problem with being blackout drunk. I mean, seriously, if I did do that, which I don't remember doing it, it would only be because I like Miles so much and I want to see him again. Okay. Miles, I mean, she told us that she was texting you about twice a day. Was there any evening where she sent you, like, 60 texts?

That's a good way to judge, Jeff. Was there one night that was kind of weird? Yeah. Just slurred. I'm looking at them right now. She sent a lot of GIFs of penguins being lonely. Oh. I don't know.

Lonely penguin. Okay. Do you remember that, Zoe? Those are funny. Those are red flags. Those are red flags. Oh, poor Zoe. Does she remember? I don't know what to believe. Miles, what happened

to your fun, funny spirit that you showed me the other night? Yeah, Miles. It went away with the dating app membership you blocked me from. Well, now you don't even have any other options to date other people. You might as well take this. We don't offer that service on this show.

It's only with Zoe. Yeah, I got to say no. She's not even admitting it. I know it was you, Zoe. I know it was you that blocked me. You're never going to get unblocked now. I'm going to block your phone number now from our radio station. Oh, come on, Jeff. I'm reporting it.

That's fine. Please block me. I do not want to hear from a radio station again. Oh, man. Okay, well, this has backfired. Okay, now we need to go report. I kind of saw that coming. All right, I'm going to report myself now.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.