Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: Nathan of the Night

Episode Date: January 6, 2024

The entire show was very surprised by how today’s Second Date finished. And we think all our listeners will agree… it was Brooke’s fault. Hear it for yourself in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date update. Dating in today's world feels like a big competition to see who has the best looking profile with the most compelling bio and the least corny pickup lines. I mean, it's tough to find a real authentic love connection now.

And that's why it's no surprise most of our listeners who fail to get a second date turn to inflated date. What's that? I'm not going to go into what that is. I thought it was inflation at first. It didn't make sense. I get it now. There is a 100%

success rate with inflated date. I hope that our new friend Nathan doesn't go down that road. As long as no needles or sharp objects or tacks are around. There's a sharp object, actually. You don't want it to be. Welcome to the show. What's in your Amazon cart right now? And it better not come with a small hand pump.

Nathan? You're with your inflated date right now? I didn't want to interrupt. No, no. I'm all good. I can pull my inflated date down. So casual about it. Deflator. I'll come back to you

later. Just imagine her flying around like a balloon. We'll get back to her. Tell us about the real lady that you connected with the other day. What's her name? So, uh, I met this beautiful girl on Hinge.

Right. Her name? Her name is Jessica. Jessica. Okay. What'd you like about her? You know, really everything. But let me start from the beginning. Let me start how we met. Oh, okay. Is there more to just on H from the beginning. Let me start how we met. Oh, okay. Is there more to just on Hinge?

I feel like we get how that works. Her name's Jessica. I met her on Hinge. Go back farther. He's like, I opened the app. Started typing in my bio. So basically how it all started was I left a comment on one of her pictures. She was wearing these boots, and it made me think of Reno 911, so I just said

New Boot Goofin. New Boot Goofin. We love that. Nobody's heard that joke, but I still like it. Just Google New Boot Goofin. It's great. You haven't seen New Boot Goofin? Isn't that show like 20 years old? Yeah, but the clip is still iconic. And I've seen that on TikTok and Instagram.

People use it when they buy new shoes. You guys are missing out, Brooke. It's funny to somebody out there. It's hysterical. Millions of people are laughing right now. Just be jealous. Just no one in this room. So Jessica liked that.

She liked the new boot goof. Yes, she did. Yes, she laughed like a bitch. Goof in. Goof in. Oh, excuse me. To butcher the hilarious joke. Come on, man. Even they bonded over. Oh, excuse me. It's a new boot, Goof-in. To butcher the hilarious joke. Come on, man.

Even they bonded over it. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Take my cynicism away, and it sounds like you guys have a good connection. Tell me more. Yeah, and so we ended up meeting, of course. Did she wear the boots when you first see her?

Oh. No, no, no. She did not wear the boots. Oh. Darn it. But she was wearing these sunglasses and a fuzzy Russian hat. Fuzzy Russian hat? When you guys met up?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she looked like a Russian spy. Like a beautiful Russian spy. Oh, like with the ear flaps. No, not like a Hunter Elmer Fudd hat. It's like a stovepipe hat without the brim. Oh, yeah. Can you picture that?

Okay. And you like that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. she's very stylish like she's got her own style you know yeah she's confident what did you guys do well you know we talked about music at first we're going for a walk and you know she's talking about a record player okay so she's like vintage she likes vintage stuff exactly so okay obviously i'm thinking let's go to a record store oh yeah good idea all right what thinking let's go to a record store. Oh yeah. Good idea. Alright. What was it like going

to a record store with a real girl instead of an inflatable one? Was it a good time? He didn't have to turn her sideways to fit her through the door. That's kind of nice. I mean I'm just messing with you. Tell me, what were some highlights from the record store? Well, I picked an album for her. Oh, okay.

What'd you pick the batman forever soundtrack from 95 interesting is that the one with um jack nicholson as the joker i don't know again with the 30 year old references i if she's into that like danny devito is the penguin i don't think i was alive in 95 you? You were alive in 95, Jeff, okay? Alexis wasn't, but you definitely were. I've been dead inside since my birth, so I don't know. Did she approve of Batman Forever? Yeah, she liked it.

She liked it. Okay. Okay. And it's nice to buy a little gift on their date. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just a little gift. It's nothing crazy. Right.

So what happened after the record store? So after a record store, we went to a candy store. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just a little gift. It's nothing crazy. Right. So what happened after the record store? So after a record store, we went to a candy store. Oh. All the stores. Okay. Starting to feel a little bit like

a teenage date from 1962. That's what I'm thinking. And then we went roller skating. Yeah, and we got a bunch of lollipops. Huh.

That's like the worst candy in there. There's like a million things. Are you guys vibing? No, no, no. That's like the worst candy in there. There's like a million things. Are you guys vibing? No, I'm telling you I was nervous. I was really nervous. Oh, okay. It was like when I was at the candy store, I had four different types of

candies in my hand and I dropped a few of them on the ground. You know, she asked me if I was nervous and if I'm feeling okay. What'd you say? Yikes. I just said, yeah, I'm doing good. You know, I'm me if I was nervous and if I'm feeling okay. What'd you say? Yikes. I just said, yeah, I'm doing good. You know, I'm just excited to be here with her. Yeah, clearly.

I was starting to think you were nervous and you were just like, hi. It sounds like the date didn't go maybe the way you hoped that it would go in your mind. That's what I'm trying to say. Or how anybody's date would ever want to go in their minds, too. But you made the best of it. I mean, she didn't seem mad, though, or anything. mean, she didn't seem mad though or anything. No, she didn't seem mad, but it kind of ended abruptly. She had plans to go out

with friends that night, so. So it seems like your intentions were there. It just sounds like the nerves got the best of you. There it is, yeah. And it just was maybe a turn off, do you think, for her? Yeah, it has to be because she's not responding like she was before. How long has it been?

It's been about a week. Okay. Hmm. Did she at least take home the Batman album? She did. Okay. There you go.

That's one small victory. There we go. We're going to try and get a couple more and hopefully another date. Get the pump ready just in case we don't though. Yeah, this is a win-win

if you think about it. Yeah, so we're going to do it it get your second date update right after this second date update while we were waiting i looked up the batman forever soundtrack from 1995 and the main title on there is kiss from a rose from the artist seal oh my god that was when he was married to heidi klum back in the day do Do you remember that? When I play this song, Brooke, what does it make you think of from your life? What flashback are you

having right now? I feel like I'm in a junior high dance all over again. Which teacher are you slow dancing? Mr. Holt, obviously. Oh, wow. That was a quick name drop. Yeah, she knew exactly. I like wow. Mr. All. That was a quick name drop. Yeah, she knew exactly.

I like those history boys. Yikes. This song makes me think of my underwear. My blue Batman undies from when I was six. Cool. In fact, I'm sure as we speak, my mom is going to be sending pictures of me wearing them to all your Facebook messengers because she loves listening to this and embarrassing me wherever and whenever she is.

We do have a group chat and she's the only one talking. She's really going to get us flagged for some of the things she sends us. I bring up Batman Forever because Nathan bought his date the Batman Forever soundtrack while they were at the record store before they went and hit up the candy store to get some lollipops. But what is it about Jessica

that made you want to email us today, Nathan? What is so special about her? Sometimes you just feel like someone's the one. lollipops but what what is it about jessica that made you want to email us today nathan what what is so special about her you know sometimes you just feel like someone's the one whoa i thought you're just gonna say like she was super attractive yeah like the chemistry yeah i've built a lot of threes and fours but uh she's a number one oh Oh. Oh. It's a number ranking. Oh, okay. It's a number one. Maybe Mr. Holt thought you were the one, Brooke. Mr. Holt couldn't have me. Yeah, for legal reasons. Thank God.

Good thing. Enough looking back into the past. Let's move forward into the future and hopefully get you another date here with Jessica. I'm going to dial her number right now. Here we go. Hello? Hey, is this Jessica? Yes.

Hey, Jessica. She's the one. She answered. Hi, Jessica. It's meant to be, or maybe. I'm sorry, what is this about? Who's calling? This is about love today, because you're on a radio show right now with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. What?

Okay, what's up? Oh, I like you. You're happy. You're a go-with-the-flow type of woman, it sounds like. I try. I try. Well, we're reaching out on behalf of one of our listeners who you hung out with the other day about a week ago his name is nathan oh boy i thought i maybe won something okay what oh you thought you won something no you were the one not you won i can

see how that'd be confusing it is yeah how do you feel about about Nathan? He seems like a nice enough guy, but not for me. There was some strangeness happening there. Okay. He said he was super nervous. That would be okay, but that's not the part that kind of concerned me where I just left. Oh. Yeah. Wait, so you didn't have plans with your friends like you told him?

No one ever actually has plans with their friends on a date. I don't think so. That's just the emergency exit button. Yeah. All right. Okay, okay. That's disappointing to hear, but it's okay. Like, if you're not interested in him, that's totally up to you to feel that way.

But maybe you could help Nathan understand if he made any mistakes that night or if there's anything he could do better just in the dating world yeah right yeah i mean it was a nice date like we went to a record store and he bought me the batman album which was like really sweet of him but then he says to me sometimes i think this city is like Gotham, descending into darkness. When he handed you the album, he was like trying to be Batman in that moment? Yeah, like he was the Batman, and then

it gets worse, and then he brings up that sometimes he likes to drive around by himself at night and call the cops on people who are breaking the law. Oh. Who does he find breaking the law? I'm just curious.

He didn't super elaborate, and I was so shocked. I was just kind of like, oh, okay, yeah. Is that because you're pro-crime? You don't want the crime to happen? No, I just don't really picture, like, the man in my life zooming around the city at 2 a.m. catching bad guys. What is he doing doing a show up to bars the sign says they're close okay okay wait this could have been a joke that didn't hit right

maybe he was a little too comic-con like and i didn't leave then like i kept going i was like okay so then we went to the store and oh yeah i mean he mentioned that you guys went to a candy store and were thinking about buying some lollipops yeah it was the straw that just ended it was like there were five lollipops and he's like well this is how many kids we would be having what oh like that's not first aid energy no yeah you're definitely thinking different things yeah i'm just really hoping he was trying to be funny because he is on the other line listening wanting to talk to you oh no really lurking in the dark nathan on the dark phone are you there oh my god hello hi there he is. Hi, Nathan. Hi, hi.

Well, that was some truth, Nathan, huh? Yeah. I mean, I like to do that. I like to make sure the city's safe. Wait, what? Oh, no. Okay. You actually drive around at night and call the cops on people?

It's not every night, but, you know, they need help. They're understaffed. Everybody knows that. Okay. Who do you call the cops on? You know, like the other day I saw like some guy who looked like he was drinking alcohol in his car. So I called the cops on him. How could you tell that?

Was it like a water bottle? It was a glass bottle. There was a school nearby. You know, I had to do my due diligence. So you really do that. We thought maybe you were joking just in light of buying the Batman soundtrack. Yeah. But that's a real thing you do. Yeah, it's a real thing, and it's not as weird as it sounds. It's actually very helpful. Well, Neighborhood Watch has changed a lot since I was a kid.

Don't get him. Well, I know Brooke calls the cops on the kids in her neighborhood. Yeah, yeah. He's obviously protecting the kids. But at least she's doing it during the daytime and nighttime. I do not. I just sounds like maybe that's more of a nuisance to them than anything.

They never told me that. I mean, it is kind of brave to go out, put yourself in the middle of crime. Well, he's not really putting himself. He's just calling the cops on the criminals. He's parking adjacent to crime. It's like dating a hall monitor. Is what it sounds like.

A man with authority is what I'm hearing. This is weird that you think it's a red flag. It's not bad what I'm doing. Sweetie, it's like a carnival of flags. Oh. A carnival of flags. That sounds fun. I know.

It sounds like a good time, actually. All I care about is safety. And, you know, that's not a weird thing. Yeah. Well, if we've learned anything from talking to women on this show, it's that they usually like more dangerous men. They're not really into the safe bet. Or that's just their actual job, not like a hobby. That's a good point.

Like, have you considered, like, trying to be a cop? It's a little too dangerous for me. I'd rather just stay back and call him on my cell phone. You don't? Crossing guard might be the next best step. Yeah. We all have a job to do, and that's my job. That's not your job, though.

Okay. If you don't prepare for it. He has five future kids that he has to take care of someday. We haven't gotten to you bringing that up. Why would you bring that up on a date? Well, what am I not supposed to talk about? My expectations for a future family? I mean,

I would wait until somebody asks. Yeah. Maybe not on the first date. Nathan, I can see where you're going wrong because in your head, you're protecting your community. You're a family man that wants to... Whoa! Wait a minute. I'm defending you, bro. You're going wrong because in your head, you're protecting your community. You're a family man. No, shove it up your ass. Whoa.

That's me. Wait a minute. I'm defending you, bro. No, you're telling me everything I want is wrong. All I want to do is communicate what I want for my future family. Okay. He's also very open to criticism. Okay.

Just take a breath, okay, Nathan? Just slow down a little bit. We're not coming after you or your dating style. Yeah, I wasn't trying to do that. It just doesn't seem to be working with what Jessica wants out of her man. Oh, oh, okay. So Jessica wants a giant **** then, huh? Oh!

And if she does, that's totally okay. That's her decision to date that spineless man. Dude, you are so right on the carnival of flags, Jessica. Thank you. Well, we'd like to send you back to the carnival and we'd pay for it on another date. Making me feel so much better about everything. He's like Two-Face. He's like the villain

and the hero of the season. You go on a midnight ride-along in a cop car and we'll pay for it. He doesn't have a cop car. We'll give him a little flashy light to put on top of it. I'm not interested. I'm not interested anymore. Oh, come on.

I don't like you guys making fun of me. No, we weren't trying to make fun of you. You called the wrong show. I don't know what... Let's not infuriate the man who calls the cops on everybody. I don't want to call the cops on us. We like you. I like you at least.

All right, Nathan? All right. I know where your studio is located. A police raid. That'd be fun. If you're going to key someone's car,

key Brooks. It's an electric Kia. Get hers. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon,

listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.