Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: Strings Of Deceit

Episode Date: July 27, 2024

Sometimes just one photo can raise the REDDEST of RED FLAGS and that happened to one of our listeners. She noticed something on a guys profile pic and now she wants our help finding him and getting him to explain. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. Second Date Update. You know on dating apps now, where the average decent-looking woman gets 2,000 matches per day? Yeah.

And that's like 2,000 guys messaging her and complimenting her, trying to take her out. It's more important than ever for guys to be creative and witty when they're talking. Or at least Google something creative and witty and then copy that like it's yours. So it's like, hi, how are you? Not enough. Boo. You're getting blocked. No, that's creepy nowadays, Brooke. Yeah, no.

All lowercase letters. Ew. Gross. But that's exactly what happened to one of our listeners, May, recently when she matched with a guy online named Doug. And their conversation apparently got pretty interesting. Oh, that's cool. But his first line was just straight up asking her out. And May, what did you immediately notice from Doug's dating profile? Well, there was a couple funny things on his profile.

One of his pictures, he had a woman in it. Oh. Yeah. Bold. That's a bold thing to put on a dating app. Like a woman his age or like a mom type of person? No, it seemed like maybe a girlfriend. Oh, no.

I see girls that do this, too. And I always swipe left. I'm like, why would your main profile be you and some guy? To prove that you can actually go out with someone? So what did you write back when you saw that there's another woman in his pictures? I frankly said, is your girlfriend going

to be okay with this? I can't believe you still wrote him back. Yeah, it's good to call somebody out too yeah like hey you know idiot did he have a response yeah he responded that he doesn't have a girlfriend okay well i would believe him yeah that's a good point just trust whatever guys say online all the time trust the internet stranger yeah so who is the woman what did he say she was yeah what was the explanation right so i obviously asked who's this woman in the photo and he responds oh that's my wife but we're just friends with a laughing emoji

oh that's so funny okay this is a joke oh alexa. I didn't get it. It's called sarcasm. It's called humor and sarcasm. He doubled down. You don't have to down. Like, it's so demeaning. Like, don't even. That's so annoying. May, were you demeaned by that, or did you think it was funny? No, I thought it was funny.

I obviously knew it was a joke. Oh, he didn't mansplain the joke after he said it? We have to do that a lot with Brooke. So that's cool, though. So you guys are on the same page. Yeah, I really like his humor. And he did this other thing that I thought was really funny, too, is, you know, he was telling me that dating apps are really hard for guys. And in his experience, it's been tough.

Yeah. That he's ghosted so many times. Sorry, did you say that he's been ghosted or he has ghosted other people? He said that he's been ghosted. But he really meant both. Yeah. He sent me a photo of him at a table by himself laughing and said at this point he started dating actual ghosts. Oh.

It's a little bit of a red flag. It's funny. I think Oh. It's a little bit of a red flag. It's funny. I think he's just saying a lot. Well, yeah. He's being self-deprecating, saying, like, see, nobody wants to go out with me. But it's a dangerous area to tread because at some point it will start to make you look kind of sad. Yeah. And pathetic, right?

At some point, like, it's not funny anymore. Right. You know, how hard you go into it. Look how many people showed up to my birthday party. Yeah. Oh, nobody. I'm alone. Brooke just helped me realize it's probably my problem you just make fun of yourself a little too much but you didn't feel that way may you felt like he was just doing just enough to be humorous yeah i mean you have to get somebody's attention

you know it's hard there's a lot of options out there. So that's how he stood out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, so did you guys end up going out? We did, yeah. We went out for drinks. And what was that like the first time you saw each other? It was nice.

I mean, he seemed really nice, a little more soft-spoken than I would have thought. Oh, okay. Because he was so bold and sarcastic when he was writing. That's interesting. I think he'd be cracking jokes the whole time. But, I mean, it was fun. He seemed like when he was writing. That's interesting. I think he'd be cracking jokes the whole time. But, I mean, it was fun. He seemed like a really good guy. He's interesting.

He's in a band. Oh, God. There's another red flag. A band. What's wrong with band people? Well, nothing. Nothing. Why just shout red flag?

I don't know. Just musicians, you know? Yeah, they got a reputation. What's the reputation? Are you kidding? They're talented? No, Joe. No, we're not Yeah, they got a reputation. What's the reputation? Are you kidding? They're talented? No, Joe. No, we're not talking about parody songs today.

There's no red flag there. I think he's a keeper, man. Don't let this one go. A singer, I see no problem. Okay. I mean, it's cool that he's in a band. Yeah, I thought it was cool. I really enjoyed the conversation.

I thought we really got along. We even kissed at the end of the night. Okay. And musicians never kiss girls randomly. Wow. Okay. So what's happened since the date? I honestly just haven't really been able to

get a hold of him. Is he ghosting you? The irony that he's the one complaining about getting ghosted? And that's a weird thing. Like he's like talking about how terrible the dating world is. I just want to quickly correct myself. I'm not able to get a hold of him on the phone, but we are texting a little bit back and forth. Okay. He's not totally silent.

I mean, the thing is, I have a lot of options. I have a lot of people asking me out, but I wanted to give Doug a chance because I really enjoyed my time with him. So I don't know. I'm just kind of thinking maybe he does have a wife or. Right. Like, like there's always some truth in every joke, right? Maybe he's just so used to being ghosted. He doesn't know how to act around a woman who actually wants to be with him.

She's like, let's go out again. He's like, don't mock me. Okay, I know. Yeah. I mean, I hope I didn't shock him by actually, let's go out again. He's like, don't mock me. Okay, I know. Yeah, I mean, I hope I didn't jock him by actually asking him to hang out again. Wait a minute, what do I do now? We'll find out. We'll come back, call him, and try and get you a second

date update right after this. Second date update. If you're just joining us, we're on the phone with one of our listeners, May, who, in her own words, is a woman with lots and lots of other male options online. I mean, so she's a woman. Yes.

Most women do. She is quite the woman. Her Bumble Hinge notifications are blowing up on the reg. But she's not thinking about all those other dudes thirsting after her and her pics. She's thinking about one guy named Doug. Funny, simple, nice guy in a band, Doug, who went on one date with her

and immediately got her attention. But now, for some reason afterwards, they can't seem to nail down a time to hang out again. Even though Doug went on and on about how terrible dating is for him. He can't meet a nice person. So weird, which has Mae worried that maybe he actually might be married. Right.

Because they joked about the woman in his profile pic being his wife. Maybe it wasn't so jokey after all. You know, it's one of those things where he's like, well, I told her. How mad would you be if we get him on the phone and he told you that actually is his wife? I would be pretty upset because I don't accept lies. But do you know what? Not as upset as his wife would be. I'm just trying to look at the positive here.

Who would be angrier, her or his wife? Maybe we'll find out in a couple minutes here. We may get a really angry text in. Wait a minute, is that my husband? But no, let's just call Doug and see what he has to say. You ready? I am. Yeah, I'm ready.

Good job, Jeff. Here we go. Hello? Hey, is this Doug? Yeah, this is Doug. Hey, Doug, you don't have to sound so skeptical. It's okay. Nothing sinister going on on our end.

We're just a radio show hoping to talk to you. Hey, Doug. What's up, bro? What's going on here? What's going on is a segment we do called the Second Date Update, and you're going to be our featured star for the day. No. I don't believe you, Doug.

He's honest. I think you're more excited than you're letting on because we're trying to hook you up with one of our listeners who you've already been out on a date with. And she just wants to see you one more time. Her name's May. Are you kidding me? No. Oh, my God. That was a good surprise.

Yeah, she sounds darling. It sounds like you guys had a great time together. Yeah. What's with all the noises, Doug? She's into you. That's a good thing. I thought dating was so hard for you. Like, this is like...

You got one. I don't like you guys know a lot about me. Yeah. Well, we've heard some stuff from you from May herself. We asked her to describe your date, and she had glowing reviews, honestly. She said you're really funny. And she thought your profile's funny, too. Oh, yeah.

She talked about the profile. Yeah. It came up. Yeah. That you had a funny joke about the girl in your picture well we asked because we thought that the girl was a red flag yeah you should change that once we clarified that's not the reason why we're calling we're not calling to criticize your dating profile stuff it is fun though yeah we could but no we're just apart we're really focused on may because

she's really confused she wants to see you She feels like she's been reaching out, trying to arrange a date, and you keep avoiding her. Is she reading that right? I mean, she does keep suggesting nights, you know. Yeah. Yeah, that's usually when you say, yeah, Friday works great for me. Unless you're not into her or there's some other problem. Or you're married. The last two Friday nights, she

asked to see my band, and like, she wants to come see me perform and like, grab a drink afterwards. That's nice. Do you have a show? She's even interested in like, your hobbies? You're saying it like it's a bad thing. I don't,

I didn't even know how to answer her. Like, you know, she was even asking for a one-on-one concert at my place. That's her flirting with you, Doug. That means she wants to see you and probably do more. I don't have lights and equipment. I don't have a stage in my house. Too much pressure. You probably don't have to put on an entire concert.

She just is wanting to hang out. I don't think she cares about the music quality. She wants to make out with you, bro. Well, there's pressure when she thinks that I know how to play guitar. I'm not really in a band.

I'm not really musical at all. You said you're not in a band? You told her that you're in a band. I needed something to sound cool that like to make me stand out. Oh, no, this is the lie. Oh, my God, dude. That's not what you chose? No.

Do something that you actually do. I'm sure there's something cool about you. Yeah, there's cool things about me. But you got to have something that really sticks out, you know? You're just trying to stand out. Well, I mean, I get it. It's a lot of pressure. You're having a hard time dating with the apps and You're just trying to stand out. Well, I mean, I get it. Like, you're in a, it's a lot of pressure. You're having a hard time dating, like, with the apps and stuff.

You want to stand out. And then suddenly this lie is snowballing is what it sounds like. Yeah, and I really liked her and I didn't know what to do. And she keeps asking me, like, she won't tell me. Oh my gosh, that makes so much sense. That's why you're not getting this date, because she's asking based on the lie that you've told her, that you're in a band and you're not. But that's a lot better lie than he was married. You know?

It really is. That's true. Yeah. That work is right. It's kind of cute. You're trying to impress her, you know? And that's a rough lie to go with, though. Like, if you're not in a band, how are you ever going to prove that?

He panicked, Jeff, okay? It was the first thing that came to mind. You can either go with that or be a Formula One race car driver. Oh. Look at the driver himself.

What? Now, that is sexy. Those jackets are really in style right now for girls to wear. Uh-huh. And a guy that lives dangerously on the racetrack.

And no Americans watch, so you can say you're, like, from France, and they believe you. Why don't you go with that one, bud? Stop it, you guys. At least I could have said I was in the off-season right now.

Just driving your Kia around in the off-season, you know? Hi, I've heard enough. Oh, you have? What? What? What? Yeah, Doug, if you didn't know, that's May, who's been listening on the other line right now. You're being honest now, whether you wanted to or not. Yeah, Doug, if you didn't know, that's May, who's been listening on the other line right now. You're being honest now, whether you wanted to or not.

Yeah, she knows. Look, I'm sorry. You were so pretty and cool, and I wanted you to like me. I felt like I had to say something cool, you know? That's really sweet, but also we spent half of the time on our first date talking about your band. Oh, no. Wow. Doug.

That's a lot, bro. Here's the thing, though. Like, immediately after our date, like, I signed up for piano lessons. Oh. Does piano count in a band? Yeah, there's keyboardists. Yeah, okay. Not quite as sexy.

Usually the least sexy of a band is the, there's keyboards. Not quite as sexy. Usually the least sexy of a band is the keyboardist. Didn't you say you played guitar in the band, though, Doug? Yeah. Yeah, but the guitar lessons were more expensive. Oh. Cheaper. I'm going to play the triangle.

So, Mae, do you feel like you know anything about him? I know, like, a couple things about where he grew up. Look, it was just a band thing. Like everything else was real. Did you hear that? Everything else he said was real, like the wife in his photos. No, no, no. That was a joke, yeah. No, not that.

Okay. Everything else except for that. I don't need any big fancy career or any, you know, super impressive hobby. I'm just looking for a really genuine, funny person. And besides, Doug, do you know that when she told us about the band, Alexis and I were both like, red flag. It's true. Red flag. It wasn't bad.

You can't trust a guy in a band. Apparently, you can't trust a guy not in a band. And girls always love bad boys in bands. I know. But not for long, my friend. Would you honestly have been interested in him if he did not say he was in a band? Yeah, the thing that attracted me to him was his humor and that he was funny. Well, did he come up with a good band name?

Maybe he had a funny band name. Oh, yeah. Did he tell you? Yeah, he did say it was called Chicken Noodle Soup. Chicken Noodle Soup. I like it. At the very least, Mae, just talking to him now, he seems like a nice, sincere guy. He is coming clean.

And, Doug, I'm going to give you 20 seconds here to say your final piece before we offer to send you guys out on a date. What do you want to say to May? I should have been up front. I'm super sorry. If you give me a second chance, like I'll just anything you want to know straight honest truth and i'll be my goofy normal self and you can either like me for that or not oh that's good pitch plus we're going to offer to pay to send you guys out on another date may so what do you say i will say that i do not like liars and I also am very attracted to people who are super secure with themselves and who they are.

However, I really enjoy talking to you and so I will give you a second chance. I feel like you didn't need to mention those first points. I think she's setting boundaries. Okay, so it's a pity yes? No, it's

a yes. I want to go on a second date. Okay. So roundabout way to say she's so excited to see you again, Doug. That's awesome. She can't wait to hear your first piano lesson once you figure it out. Yeah. Man, you have no idea how happy this lie on my back, how less stressed I feel. Oh, that's really sweet.

We can get together on Friday if you want. Oh, now you're free. Piano lessons are weekdays. And your wife's cool with that, Doug? Yes, my wife. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go

on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards, Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show.

Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.