Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: When Nature Calls

Episode Date: August 19, 2023

Today was the first time ever a listener told us that his ENTIRE DATE was ruined by an ANT. How could one ant kill the romance? Find out in your Second Date!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brooke, you like it when a guy knows exactly what he wants, right? Yeah, absolutely. That's an attractive quality. Oh, sure.

Do you like it when a guy knows exactly what he doesn't want? I mean, if he's not focused, I don't need to hear about that. You're just afraid that it's you. I think it's good for him as a person, but I think usually that means that he doesn't want me, so I don't want to know, you know? Why would he bring it up? Right, just keep it to yourself.

I'm just bringing it up because one of our listeners says he likes one thing, and that's curvy women. Okay. Not a unique thing. He says he believes women on dating apps are abusing that term. And I'm curious to know what he means by that. So, Glenn. I think a lot of everyone listening now wants to clarify.

Glenn, welcome to the show, man. Hey, thanks for having me on today. That's a heart open, Glenn. Brooke isn't happy with you already, so you need to turn this around. Women shouldn't be describing themselves that way. I don don't know what he means can you tell us what you mean like what do you why do you think people are abusing the term curvy well everyone tries to make themselves sound as attractive as possible on these things but curvy is you know the old cartoons the classic you get your hands and you make the hourglass shape you want like you mean

the unobtainable measurements of Barbie. Is that what you're talking about? No, not even that. Like, no, no. I'd like a real woman with curves if I wanted a 12-year-old boy. I'd date a 12-year-old boy. But no. Okay.

Well, I think that maybe we should not talk. Let's not open our mouths anymore. We at least need an 18-year-old boy. Okay, so I'm just trying to understand what you're saying here, Glenn. What you're saying— Do we want more clarification, Jeff? I'm just trying to, you know, see his perspective. He thinks women of all shapes use the term curvy too liberally.

Yes, yes, because you have to have a curve up top, a curve down bottom, but in the middle, it's got to taper in a little bit, so you have a clear, definitive waist area. So you're saying that your date showed up and didn't match her description. Is that what you're trying to get to? No, no, no. It just took me a long time to find the kind of girl that I was looking for on the dating apps. Okay, Glenn, what did you like about her outside of her physical appearance?

Well, what was her name? Oh, that's a good point. Or does it even matter? You know what? We don't need her name? Oh, that's a good point. Or does it even matter? You know what? It does not care. We don't need her name. Tell us more about her.

Her name's Megan, and one of the things that I said when I was looking for the date was, I'm looking for a nature girl, like a nature nerd. I love going hiking. Okay. I know there's over 900 different types of fig trees. I know there's one breed of wasp that pollinates them.

Like, I know these things. It's a big hobby of mine. You need a girl that's curvy and knows that stuff, too? Well, at least can pretend to be interested, if not willing to learn. I'm looking for a curvy herbologist. I think it's attractive. I don't know about Alexis, but I think it's attractive when people have, like, like, a nerd out on something. Yeah.

You know, they, like, have a true passion. That's a good sign. I think Alexis likes it if they're actually not nerds, though. Yeah. Well, then they wouldn't be rich. I know my focus is kind of narrow,

but, again, that's why I'm on the dating site, so that I can find someone who kind of sort of will match that. So is that what you did for your date? You guys went outside? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I found a site where you can print out these lists of nature scavenger match that. So is that what you did for your date? You guys went outside? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I found a site where you can print out these lists of nature scavenger hunts.

I said, well, this will be really cool. Yeah, I do that for my kids. What do you mean? Like find a heart-shaped rock. Is that what you mean? Yeah, stuff like that, yeah. So we can go out for a walk and talk and kind of get to know each other and just explore nature.

That's interesting. That sounds fun. Well, it was okay. Oh, just okay. Yeah, the checklist that I had, I didn't think it would be a big deal. But there's things like find a wild mushroom, find some feathers, find a butterfly. I think I know what the problem is here. The butterflies weren't proportionate enough. Is that what it is?

They're not curvy enough? They're too round? You want those monarchs with an hourglass shape? You still look like a fatter pillar over there. We're just messing around with you, Glenn. Did Megan seem to have any fun? Well, you know,

it got a little less friendly as the day wore on because we couldn't find a damn thing like i was getting a little frustrated you're getting frustrated over your your list oh yes over the lack of being able to find anything on this damn list they had ants and an anthill on the list and we couldn't find ants we couldn't find anything is this how is this was this your mood as the list became more unobtainable i mean did you show your frustration to megan i i i think it kind of leaked through because i'm going i finally got a date with a girl that i am attracted to and we're doing something that she's she's willing to be interested in and we can have a good time and get

to know each other and now nothing else is working out and I'm just looking like a jackass. Honestly, I don't think she really probably cared about completing your scavenger hunt. Well, tell us how it ended because we got to wrap this up soon.

At the edge of a park, there was a food truck. We went over to the food truck and we got corn dogs. Hey, that's fun. Oh, yeah. No, it's terrific. We're sitting on a set. We're eating them. We're finishing up.

And she just goes, really nice meeting you. And then she goes, I have to go. I have to meet up with my roommate for a work thing. Yeah. Oh, boy. I have a question. Why are we calling her? Is it because this is the only woman that has ever matched with you?

And I, you know, like you have very, very high standards and specific requests here. It just started off with so much potential. And then the ants had to ruin it for you. The non-ants. Yeah. The ants would have saved it for me. The lack of ants ruined it for me well if the ants wouldn't step up for you we will right now we're gonna call megan and we're

gonna ask her why she isn't wanting another date we know why well we're gonna try and convince her to give you another chance we know a lot of why's we're gonna give her a reason why to go out with him one more time how about that bro you think of that during the break we'll come back call meg and get your second date update right after this thank you guys thank you very much all right hold on man second date update you know what's funny is when you think of your social circle and this is true a lot of the times it's the people you didn't get along with at first who later go on to become your closest friends and even lovers. So, Glenn, I think Brooke might be coming after you so hard right now because she actually has a little bit of a crush on you.

I figured a man would read it that way. Have you seen a picture of her online? Because, Brooke, would you describe yourself as curvy? No. Oh, how would you describe yourself as curvy? No. Oh, how would you describe it? I have the flattest booty ever. I would not describe myself as curvy. You like a little flat backside, Glenn?

No, no. Like I said, I know it's a unicorn that I'm looking for here, but a curvy girl who is into nature and just a great conversation. Brooke, you checked at least two of those things. I don't know. We're not talking about me anymore. What about me? I'm shaped like a potato. But you hate nature. Glenn, what are you offering? You know, like you're

asking for such like high... I'd like to hear this too. What are you bringing to the table for this unicorn? Sounds like someone's interested. Yeah, I just... She wants to know more about you, Glenn. I'm doubting you. Why don't you take some notes here? Well, you know, I'm reasonably smart.

I'm educated. I take an interest in a wide variety of subjects. I try not to be cliche, which is why I try to find stupid things like nature scavenger hunt. He knows a lot about nature. We know that. And he's also humble. He only called himself reasonably smart. Yeah.

I know what I like, but I respect women. I love women, and I just want to find the right one. That's all. He's very particular. He feels like the right one was Megan, who he met online, and they went on a scavenger hunt. Unfortunately, he did get a little bit frustrated when he couldn't find some of the things on their list, like ants.

So he's hoping that didn't blow it for him, and we we're gonna find out if we can get you another chance here all right and no matter what glenn i'll have a little offline conversation with you later about how to well i told you the flat booty does not do it for me but i appreciate your story he's got a good sense of humor i don't think he's joking he's loyal he's loyal to megan so let's call her and see what she has to say. Here we go. I'm going to dial her number right now. Hello?

Hello, is this Megan? Oh, God. Yes, this is she. Hey, Megan. Can we apologize now? Why? We want to talk to you a little bit, Megan. You're on the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey

in the morning. I'm sorry. What is this? Well, just know I'm on your side. It's all weird. You don't even know what we're talking about. It's important to start out the gate. We're a morning show Megan and we do a segment on our show called

A Second Date Update. That's what this is. We're trying to help one of our listeners who went on a date with you recently his name is Glenn do you remember Glenn uh yeah yeah I do I I don't know why you're calling me about him though well he said that he had this big idea to do a nature scavenger hunt and it was going okay but then he got a little bit frustrated when certain things in nature weren't making themselves appear to you guys. I think what it was is that he had the idea of a perfect date for you and it wasn't panning out.

And so he let his frustrations get the better of him. Do you agree with that? Well, he seems to have a temper and it wasn't necessarily necessarily it wasn't focused on me per se but he would go from zero to just letting loose a string of curses because he couldn't find the ant on this checklist and i he was so into it he had this laser focus on completing this task and he was getting red faced and really mad about it weird that is such a red flag. We spoke to him. We didn't get that impression at all. Did we not? I got that impression, Jeff.

Don't say we on that one. I totally heard that. He's like a little Kirby Butterfly. It's like this guy. Did you tell him to calm down? I was trying to redirect. I was trying to ask questions about himself. I was trying to find out his other interests

and instead he would start giving me this litany of facts like the latin name for dandelion and what who are the pollinators for it and i was like i'd rather know about you um so my understanding you're right like that's the reason that you're not calling him back because you felt maybe a little bit of a temper i mean mean, that's one of them. Oh, there's more red flags. Well, the other one was that the man that I met that day didn't match up with the man

that was described in his profile. Oh, really? Oh, I am very interested in your take on this. What do you mean? The way he described himself and based on the photos I saw, he described his build as athletic.

And that really appealed to me because I go rafting. I love that stuff. Okay, that's great. So you're a really active person. So you said that he looked athletic. And when you showed up, what did he look like to you? Well, he looked softer. Okay.

That's a kind way to say it. Is that kind? Yeah. I don't know about all that. He just didn't look as sturdy as in his photos. And he was getting winded while we were just walking around that park. I know he was getting mad, but I was paying attention to the fact that he was getting out of breath. Brooke, why aren't you getting outraged at her for body shaming you?

She worded it nicer. Are you kidding me? Because she did. You're telling me. She wasn't going off about that. for body shaming. She worded it nicer. Are you kidding me? Because she did. You're telling me. She wasn't going off about that. And the hypocrisy of it all is so amazing. This is a guy.

The hypocrisy of you right now, Brooke, because the athletic body style is unattainable that they show in Men's Health Magazine. We started the conversation and he was moaning about how women mislabeled themselves and how horrible they are for calling themselves curvy. He did? And then he has the audacity to mislabel himself.

I think we're finding out a little bit too much information at this point. It's a little oversharing. And I need to let you know at this point that Glenn is on the other line. Hey, Glenn. And has been hearing all of this. Oh, hey. Oh, hi. Oh, hey. Oh, hi. Oh, hi.

Oh, wow. Got your tail between your legs on that one. Well, you know, I don't know if I was out of breath so much, but I was a little breathless in your presence, I guess. Oh, romantic. Don't call for that. Glenn, what do you think of that? She doesn't think that you're athletic looking.

Well, you know, everyone goes through cycles. Everyone has good weeks, bad weeks. So you're asking for a little bit of empathy, maybe a little bit of... Of course. Of course. Everyone's a work in progress. Everyone. That's a really smart thing to say.

Maybe if you actually gave that to other people, then you would receive it back. The empathy. He lost him. I'm just speechless there because, no, I think she's perfect the way she is. I'm just so frustrated, aggravated with myself. Don't get aggravated, bro. We all like you when you're angry. Megan, we haven't heard from you.

Now you can talk to Glenn and tell him about his soft body and how disappointing it was. Oh, stop it, Jeffrey. Well, you just called me on the call, so I don't think I need to repeat myself. I didn't mean any offense if I did offend you. No, I know. I can

definitely work on the softness. I guess there's not much I can do about the butterflies in migration. Okay. You're still worried about the scavengers? Glenn, I mean, why are you using old photos? Again, another fault of mine. I put up a couple old photos.

I haven't updated my photos. And yeah, I've put on a few pounds since then. That's my fault too. Everything. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't have to beat yourself up over it. Don't be mad. He literally may beat himself up. At least it's cushioned so it wouldn't hurt his back. Glenn, we want to help you here, man. We want to get you another date.

Maybe if we could just end with you saying one nice thing about Glenn, that would help Glenn. Because I think what Glenn should work on is maybe himself for a while. Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with that. All right. So let's think of one nice thing to say. I would say that the nicest thing that I noticed you had going for yourself were your manners and how you treated me. Yeah, that's a real positive, Glenn. Glenn, what do you think of that, Glenn? I certainly appreciate that. And like I said, I try to be as respectful as possible. Maybe the frustration that I point to myself, I should probably have a few more manners towards myself, too. Look at that.

That's a moment of growth. Be nice to yourself, buddy. Okay. But this dating thing, this jungle of dating thing, it's horrible. I probably just got overexcited that I thought I actually found someone I could connect with. Okay, well, let's get out of the jungle and let's just go back to the park. And we want to send you on a date that we will pay for. Like a little bit of a redo.

Yeah. What do you think of that? So, Glenn, if we can do something where you can be a little more curious about me and less about the greenery, the environment, I would say yes to another. Hey! Whoa! Look at that. Did not expect that. Because he was nice. Don't know if I'd advise that.

And he's smart. Glenn? I would love another chance. I am very curious about you. I'm super curious about you and i promise i will try as hard as i can to not get in my own way and and screw things up okay well look at that it's a successful second date update even though brooke tried to sabotage it the entire time with her flat behind just that's a lot of red flags don't worry brooke there's someone out there for

you too brooke and je and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.