Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classic: Yawn and She's Gone

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

We’ve reached a pretty insane milestone with today’s Second Date and it happened with one of the nicest guys we’ve ever had on the show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pasto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.com for details and to check availability.

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Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Every episode we're trying to help our guests improve their careers by mainly focusing on how they can help us improve our careers. The show's famously super accessible, so you can.

can easily jump into any of our 650 episodes and understand what's going on. We recommend some of our recent episodes with Ben Stiller, Danny McBride, Riz Ahmed, and Mary Steenberg. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. Your duolingo is not going to come back to you when a man is inside of you. Oh, no. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where. where I can say yes without asking anyone else first.

I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, let's do it. We're here. We got an episode for you. It is a classic.

Welcome to Brooke and Jeffrey and the Second Date podcast. Thanks so much for subscribing as well. That really goes a long way. So we appreciate when you click that little button. Yeah. And you know what our listeners don't appreciate though, Brooke? Okay. Just coming in hot.

Shilophone does not appreciate this. Says Brooke, stop mentioning the day of the week. Wow. It's obvious. And when I binge, it just confuses me. Otherwise, love you guys. All right. Happy Friday, Tuesday, Wednesday, for Thursday.

Yeah, there you go. Whatever day it is. Yep. Now you won't be confused. All right, here we go. Starts right now. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

Not put any pressure on this second date update, but assuming this actually goes to air. Okay. This will be our 1,000th second date phone call. No way. Are you joking? We've only had 490 people say no. You suck. No, I'm sorry, 940 said now.

Oh, you suck. You hear that? Chris, that means you have a chance. Oh, I like those odds. Chris, I like those odds. Welcome, congratulations on being the one. thousandth second dater. Thanks.

Wow, Chris, I was expecting more fireworks, more congratulations. Wouldn't you guys think that after a thousand of these, we would have a better percentage of people saying yes? No, not at all. I feel like it's getting worse as the years go by. We're caring less and less about this. I don't know. I still care.

I just keep getting it wrong. Because it's our 1,000th, we promise to care extra hard for you today, Chris. So tell us about the woman that you want to. to call. What's her name? Well, her name is Amanda, and I'm hoping that this results in a big 1,000th for you guys. Okay. I'm hoping she's more excited about being part of the 1,000th than you were. You want to try again, your excitement?

I'm kidding. Okay. Yeah. All right. All right. There it. Now the movie is set. That's right, Chris.

I feel good going into this. Tell us about how you met Amanda. Well, we met online and all the normal stuff, good. Like, she was really pretty. We chatted a lot. I was super excited to go out on a date with her and everything, but that's where we ran into the first little roadblock. Her schedule was really, really tight.

I work as a nurse, and the only day she was available would have been right at the end of a 35-hour shift. Oh, my gosh. Why is that not illegal? Yeah, seriously. Yeah, that like, should be illegal, probably should pay a lot more. Right, but we'll get into that on a separate call.

Yeah. Did you go on the date after your long shift? I did. Wow. I needed, well, if it wasn't for this chance, there wasn't going to be another chance. And how did it go? I didn't fall asleep.

Nice. All right. You know, most people, when they say, I didn't fall asleep on a date, that wouldn't be a huge victory. But for Chris, that's a big win. We're proud of you. impressed too. I mean, I imagine you're so tired that you're not even nervous when you're, like,

what did you guys do? Go to drinks? Yeah, we went for drinks and the thing is, I didn't tell her that it was going to be at the end of a 35-hour shift. I didn't want her to worry about that. Yeah, I was going to, honestly, think about it from her angle. If someone said I'm at the end of the I would be like, do not go out with me. You need to sleep. There's no way I'm going to go. So I can see why you guys snuck it in. No, I'd be like, thanks for making time. Do it. Yeah. Okay, Alexis. Just seeing.

Okay. So how did it go? It started out great. Ordered a couple of martinis, talked about our lives, talked about our dogs. We both have dogs. We were biving on a bunch of stuff. I mean, everything was going awesome.

And then she was like, hey, I need to go to the restroom real quick. I waited a while, and she just never came back. Oh, no. She ditched you? This is why I never let women go to the restroom. I'm just like, you have to wait. Yeah, that's a while. Well, you can go after we're done.

Yeah. Pee on you, Jeff. No, that's okay. So she never came back? No, well, she sort of came back. After a while, I went and I asked the bartender, I'm like, hey, have you seen this girl I was with? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I totally saw her.

She left a 20 on the bar and left. Oh, no. That's confirmation. Dude, did you text her? I'd be so, I mean, you probably were so tired that you couldn't even muster anger, but. Or maybe you were so tired, like the date actually went through and ended and you just don't realize it. You don't remember the end of it?

She's like, we kissed and everything. What do you mean? What's the last thing that you do remember about the end of the day? How did it end? Her leaving, me just standing there and being like, hey, this really just happened at the end of a 35-hour shift, and then I went home and slept for 12 hours.

Oh, my God. Did you like call her and read her the riot act? Like, where were you emotionally? I mean, I'm just generally not that angry of a guy. Because all I've been running through my head is like, maybe I came crosses a little more out of it than I thought.

Maybe like something weird slipped out of my mouth, but I can't imagine. Like a piece of broccoli came out of your mouth or like a word? That makes sense, bro, because again, if you're on a date and someone's like yawning and they're exhausted, you make me feel like you're boring. You wouldn't ditch them though. Yeah. You have to do something bad. Yeah.

Why do you want to call her again? Why would you want to see her? Well, I wanted the date in the first place, right? So all that stuff is still kind of there. And this is what she did, that's pretty harsh. But listen, it's your guys 1,000th. I don't want this to be another, like, L in the column. Hey, we're used to being in the loser bracket.

It's fine. Don't worry. Even if she doesn't want to go out again, like, nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I'm just, I need to know why. Yeah, okay. You're looking mainly for the reason, even if it doesn't work out. Yeah. But we do want to send you on another day, and we're going to, like, really press the fact that you're an amazing health care worker.

Yeah. Yeah, you're a hard word. And she's going to feel so guilty when she finds out that you would just finish a 35-hour shift and she's ditched you. Or do you still not want her to know that? I mean, it's not that I don't want her to know, but I also don't want her to just say yes to another date out of pity. Well, I do. I want to guilt trip her until she says yes. Maybe that's just the Jewishness in me.

But I swear it works. At least get her out again and then you can ditch her. And what is our thousand. Yeah, remember our record. We have 940 losses. We need one in the win column by whatever means next. You think you're desperate. All right.

Pity date coming up on our 1000 second date update right after this. Thanks guys. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update. Out of all the human emotions, excitement, fear, joy, none are stronger and more powerful than pity. Oh my God. I don't see that coming. I didn't see it coming either.

Why do you think I work with Brooke? Oh, and it makes sense. I know. It's the only way, I'm the only dummy that would work with you. I'm sure there's a lot of love and respect between us. But deep down at the Nuggety center of this work relationship is a heaping, delicious nugget of pity. Of pity.

You've only worked here your whole life. It's very sad. Oh, is this your first job? Jeez. See? Look at the bonds that are happening here. The joy that's coming out of this moment. It was your first job, wasn't it?

I'm starting to feel back for you, too, Jeff. Good. Let's harness the pity in the room. And add in a little guilt to help our listener, Chris, get a second date with Amanda. I am with you. We've got the king of pity ready to take it on for you, Chris. That's right, Chris. Because if you're just tuning in, he met her after working a 35-hour shift at the hospital, where he's a nurse.

God, I love how we complain that we're tired after, like, six hours. I know, Brooke, that is me. This guy is a saint. Chris, you're still awake, right? Yeah. You just got off of a long shift, did you? No, no. Today is an off day.

Okay. This is the off day, you? Yeah. All right. Sounds like an off day. Can you imagine when he's on? I know. I'm saying.

All right. He saves it for his patience. Okay. Well, we're going to save all of your energy until we call you into the conversation. And I'll try my best to be nice, because right now I am not happy with her. Uh-oh.

I appreciate this. I just, I need to know why. Let's get there. We'll find your why. I don't know. I feel very. Okay. Let's go.

I like that attitude. Let's make the 1,000 second date phone call. Hopefully ended on a good note. Here we go. Off the bat, the judgment. I don't say anything. Hi, Amanda. Hey, Amanda.

Is this Amanda? This is she? Hey. You may or may not know us, but we are a morning radio show. We're called Brooke and Jen. Jeffrey in the morning, and we would love to talk to you a little bit about your personal life. Just one specific thing. Yeah.

Not all of it. I would love to talk to you about your entire life. But if you want, we could just focus on the dating aspect because we're doing a segment called the second date update. And we're trying to help out one of our listeners that you met up with the other night named Chris. Oh. Isn't this an interesting conversation?

Okay. Yeah. We'd like to gauge how you feel. about Chris and the chances of you guys meeting up for a second date. Is that really? Well, I'm assuming that, you know, you have a story that he emailed you or something. I don't know how it works. Yeah.

I was just trying to read your vibe first before I told you what we know about it. Because here's the information that we have. We know that you two met online, that you both have very busy schedules, and this was the only night that you guys could get together. And so you went to a bar, had drinks, and talked about a lot of stuff like your lives and your dogs. And he really felt like you guys were like

having a good time, like really connecting in conversation. Did you feel that? I did. I agree. It was nice. The thing is he didn't tell us the exact amount of time that the two of you were there, but from the sound of it, it was around 15 to 20 minutes maybe.

And then you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and never came back to the table. Well, before you tell us your excuse about why you did it. And why you don't sound guilty right now, I'd also like to know. I think you do need to know something about Chris that he is a dedicated healthcare worker who had just come off a 35 hour shift to meet up with you. And I know that you didn't know that.

He didn't want to tell you. He didn't tell you. But I do think it's pretty brutal to ditch somebody like that. We all think that. I bet you think that. How would you feel if someone left you in the middle of a date? How would you feel if somebody fell asleep on yours? No.

He did. He felt like it happened. It wasn't that bad. Wait, he fell asleep. Listen, I excused myself to the restroom. Uh-huh. When I got back, maybe five minutes later, he was asleep. Okay.

It's not like he fell asleep, like, while talking to you. Yeah, that's better. He fell asleep while you weren't there. Yeah. I was gone for less than five. minutes. And I didn't know that he was up for 35 hours. Yeah.

He should have told you that. Saving lives for 35 hours. So, wait, you, you went, why didn't you wake him up? I would have just woken the person up. Oh, I tried. I, he was out. He was out. He tapped him on the shoulder. I was like, Chris, Chris.

Were you worried that he was dead? No, I saw him breathing, but I, I figured he'd been drinking all day. I didn't know if he was a drunk. Oh. I could see that. So I did the decent thing.

I paid the tab. Yeah. He said that he asked the bartender. And that you left a $20 bill for them. But the bartender didn't tell him he was asleep. Did the bartender not see? Maybe not. Honestly, I have no idea.

We weren't very close to him, so I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't notice. Oh, my God. Well, you're actually closer to him than you realize. You're one phone line away from each. other. And when I push this button, you're going to be on the same line. So here we go. I'm pushing it right now. For the thousand times. Hit the button. Chris, you there? Yeah. Hey. Okay. I thought you fell asleep for a second. Chris, this all makes sense. I bet you feel so relieved.

Chris, are you there? You fall asleep now? No, no, I'm here. Hey, Amanda. Hi, great. I think we just had that moment. Yeah. Come on. That. That's, no. I'm here. I'm here. I'm in. I think we just had that moment. Yeah. Come on. That didn't actually happen, right? What? Yes, it did. And I don't I, it did. Like, I promised you, I sat with you for

15 minutes while you had your head on the table and your hands in your lap and you were storing. You stayed with him while he slept? Yes, because I thought he would wake up. And I was enjoying our time. Oh, he must

have been so tired. Chris. Chris, how's that make you feel? I find that pretty hard to believe What? Really? You just got up a 35-hour shift. How is that hard to believe?

Because it wasn't my first ever 35-hour shift. I don't just pass out in bars like that. What, you go to the bars often after a 35-hour shift? If anyone is there's a margarita. I think a lot of health care workers actually do. It makes sense, though.

I know, but you have like a couple sips of a martini. Those are going to put you out in a second. I'd remembered if I passed out because, I mean, I didn't boost any. any time. I was there. She left. I waited. And then I like got right up and went and talked to the bartender. There was no like loss of time. Oh, so you don't remember waking up. But listen, how could she lie? She told us that story before she even knew that you were on that long

shift. And why would she make that up? I mean, maybe she's trying to cover up because she's on the radio now that she's trying to look better from ditching me. Oh. Uh-oh. I'm not lying and I don't know how to prove it to you. Maybe some security camera. footage from inside the restaurant. Oh great, now we do the CCTV. I mean, that's ridiculous. I mean, she didn't even know that you did the 35-hour shift because she told us that before Jeff told her.

No, actually, I think I told her first and then I asked for her excuse. Oh. I just don't know what else to say. Like, it happened and I'm sorry that it did and that sucks. And I would have been more understanding and I probably would have responded to the text messages that you sent me. if I had known the circumstances. Okay.

Well, I think overall, like before all the sleeping confusion, he liked Amanda, Amanda liked Chris. Let's just go back to that moment and offer to send you guys out again. I need to ask Amanda, would you like to go out with Chris one more time, give it another shot for him to be awake the entire dinner, and we would pay for it? Well, I should be totally transparent with him on the line. I am seeing other people because I'm dating.

I'm not exclusive with anybody. So if that's something that he's okay with going on a casual date, I would like to try again. I really liked our time together. That makes you feel special, huh, Chris? It's so normal. She's honest. She's forthright.

What do you think about being one of many? I mean, I don't believe her, and now she's saying she might go out with me amongst a bunch of other guys, which is also, I guess, why she didn't have any room in her schedule to go out except that one night. Oh, that makes sense. Well, maybe you shouldn't believe that she will go out with other guys, too. Don't believe her on that fact, either.

You're not going to say no, are you, Chris? No. No to Brooke or no to the date? No to the date. I don't believe her. Wow. All right. Mark it up on the board.

941 nose for broken jones for broken juries. Well, Chris, make sure you get some rest, okay? We'll see you in a week. He's asleep. I'll try. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies?

Will the pasto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing? the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two year term and auto pay credit. Visit

bell.com for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters

over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlan AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning. Breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made?

Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysler, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody.

Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Has anybody here fallen asleep during a date in the middle of it? Oh no, one time I fell asleep while the girl was on the

way to my place. I fell asleep once. And I woke up three hours later to her a bunch of calls and angry texts. I was like, I never saw her again. I was wasted. I fell asleep once, so I'm not going to tell you why or where.

Wait a minute. Hold on. She was really tired and the guy was really boring. Oh, ow. Her and her husband's third anniversary. That's pretty brutal. She just calls him the guy. I know one time I faked being asleep

in the middle of a date in order to get out of it. Which does make me sound like a horrible person. I know, but in my defense, she was the daughter of a moyle. What's that? Please don't make me explain what a moyle is. That sounds like a bad medical problem. No, it's a Jewish term. My mom

knew all the moils. Okay, if you're Jewish text, in a last name? No, it's not a name. It's like a rabbi? I never should have told this story in the first place. Is it mean? Is it a mean thing? We're not going into it. I got a moil on me. Can you just

take a phone call you had to fall asleep? We didn't do a very good job getting a second date update there for Chris on our thousand second date call. But we learned something about each other in the last minute. We did. We did. A lot of things happening. And we want to learn about you and your dating life.

So email the show and we'll help you call that person who isn't calling you back. Check out all of our podcasts. All 1,000 second date. Yeah. Listen all. Wherever you get yours at Brooke and Jeffrey. Summer Blockbusters are back. The Odyssey and Spider-Man.

Brand new day have taken over cinemas and Raiders of the Lost podcast has all the coverage you need. including our interview with director Destin Daniel Cretton. What surprised you about Tom Holland? He shows up to every meeting early. He's the first one on set. Aside from learning all of his lines, is also able to memorize everybody's name on set. Download the free IHeartRadio app.

Search Raiders of The Lost Podcast and listen now. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, A.O. rewatch, our brand new podcast, where we will. revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia.

AEO rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Every episode we're trying to help our guests improve their careers by mainly focusing on how they can help us improve our careers. The show's famously super accessible so you can easily jump into any of our 650 episodes and understand what's going on.

We recommend some of our recent episodes with Ben Stiller, Danny McBride, Riz Ahmed, and Mary Steamburgeon. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. Your duolingo is not going to come back to you when a man is inside of you. Oh, no. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse.

The world gets crazier. And Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less, so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to you're the problem with Yamanika. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcast.