Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update Classics: Flea Market Find + Due The Math

Episode Date: May 9, 2026

Part 1 Our listener on the phone today says his date set a boundary before they even met in person. He had to say “yes,” to get a shot at her, and now we’re trying to get her to say “Yes” to a Second Date! Part 2 We promise you that you’ve never heard of anything like the move a guy pulled to ask out our listener outside a coffee shop.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to Look Back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, thanks so much for being here on the weekend. It is the second date podcast with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, the official one. And every Saturday we feature two classics. Yep. Yeah, exactly that.

Put it back to back so you get a little longer dose. And also, if you guys love these and you want to see what they look like live, we're actually doing video now. Yes. There is a visual aspect to it all. Yeah. For the better or worse, I don't know. And we're rolling out a little slowly.

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It's good to set rules and boundaries early on in a new relationship. Yeah, I mean, communication's key there. Yeah, like when Brooke started dating her husband, she made a rule on night one. He wasn't allowed to cry when they hooked up. Oh, no, that must have been tough.

Well, let's just say that rule didn't last very long. Oh, see? Show me those crocodile tears, boy. But one of our listeners was given a different stipulation before his first date. Oh. And he had to say yes to it in order for them to meet. Whoa.

Is it better or worse than Brooke's list of strict demands? We're going to find out when we do your second date update. Next. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update. If anyone's been out on a date recently, you know how expensive it can be. Not just for the food and drinks, but the blindfolds and the rubber bands. I thought you're going to say parking.

Oh. Yeah, you do need a place to park before you set up all the rubber bands. I see. And I cannot find one strong enough to hold my wrists down anymore. Wow. I don't know why you need that. It's the tariffs. God, the tariffs on maximum strength rubber bands from Indonesia,

they are through the roof right now. You should try the rubber bands they put on asparagus. Those are the fat boys. Still, not strong enough. Isn't it like 200% more expensive, not stronger, Jeff? But that was the only place that make them stronger. And they cost so much money. I'm just, I'm happy that our listener, Leo, figured out how to save a buck or two on his date recently.

And I'm very curious how he did it. So, Leo, welcome to the show. It was like, what is happening? We get it if you did. Leo, are the rubber band tariffs hitting you hard too? Or did you rubber band yourself? Oh. No, I'm still here.

I'm doing all right. Okay. That's good, Leo. Where you get your extra strength rubber bands from? I don't typically need to get a lot of, them. Both people just save them from random mail. That's actually kind of smart.

Yeah, I got a drawer that I got too many of them actually. Yeah, same. Well, share the wealth at some point. But hey, I know you went on a date with somebody recently. What's her name? I'm Marissa. Okay. Where did you meet her?

We matched on Bumbo. And we connected over a love of dogs. You know, we each have two dogs, and it's just we can't get enough of them. I mean, if we lived in bigger places, then we probably have more than just two, you know what I mean? Like 101 Dalmatians, that movie is like, ooh, goals. Okay. But you said in your email you were able to save some money on your date. How did you do that?

Oh, yeah. So when we matched at first, she was very clear that she wanted to be friends. She didn't want to jump into anything like relationship. Here we go. She was... Really? Yeah, yeah. So I suggested after we matched just grabbing a...

coffee, but she countered with, how about we go to a flea market? Oh, okay, that's how you saved come from. Yeah. I was going to say that's how you saved money on your day with the flea market discounts. Yeah, I was willing to spend it. It was her idea. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome. I think it's impressive that you are good with being friends first. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't do that, but that's great that you're ever sure. I'm sort of the kind of guy that doesn't really want to jump into anything too fast myself. So I do have friends that are women. So like if we decide that it doesn't work out, it's like, okay, well, if we're at that friendship level first, then we can stay that way. And then, you know, it's a positive. That's great. I love that. It's nice when you're like naturally friends

first. But what Brooke was saying, too, to be like, I'm setting the tone friend zone right away. It's good that you worked with that. Yeah, it's refreshing. I guess is the thing. So take us to the flea market, though. How did that go? It went okay, which is, oh, better than okay, which is kind of weird to me why I haven't heard from her since then. Yeah. But before I get into that, yeah, we met up there, and she looked like her pictures, thank God.

She was really, really cute. You wouldn't want a friend that looks like somebody else. The friend thing does make it different now, right? That's right. You can't really judge that much. Okay. So she was excited to be there, too, and bargain hunt and all that. And we walked around that flea market for a good hour and a half.

Okay. It's almost been a lot to see. Yeah. What did you get into? Like a crate of old used VHS tapes or rubber bands? Jeff's favorite? Yeah. No rubber bands, but we did see VHS.

There was a station that had a lot of those. Oh, man. Shocking. They're not selling so quickly. I wonder why. No one probably has the machines to play them. Okay. So how was your connection with Marissa?

It was good. And I know that sometimes for these things you guys ask, what we talked about. We actually talked about taxidermy. Whoa. What friends don't? I don't know. You're at a flea market.

You're bound to find a couple of like stuff swirls or, you know. Yeah, we saw a booth for that, actually, through taxidermy. And in fact, there was actually a fox there with a monocle on. Oh. So Marissa thought that it looks like elegance and I thought it looked straight up haunted. I was like I would never let that into my home. Haunted by the stuff fox Well that sounds like a funny point of conversation

Fun moment Yeah it was it was Did you guys buy anything take anything home? Yeah we each got one thing I got a Fleetwood Mac record And she got one of those novelty aprons Where it looks like there's a shirtless firefighter on the front Oh

Oh I like her Silly All the cool stuff So is that is that it? Well yeah that's it We each got the one thing And then I walked her back to her place and on the way back it was starting to get kind of chilly so I gave her my jacket and when we got

to her place I was like oh yeah you can just you can just hang on to it because I was so confident that we would meet up again because that's how well the first date went and now she's not answering any of my texts or calls and it's like hey as much as I would like to see Marissa I will also like my jacket back You know, if you think about it, this cheap date actually costs you a lot of money if you lose that jacket. Yeah. Taxidermy is not cheap, Jeff. I could imagine. Yeah, that didn't happen.

Thank God. Okay. Fox is only haunting his dreams, not his house. Right. How long has it been since the flea market date? It's been about two weeks. Oh. Oh, that's a long time.

Man, you've gone without a jacket for two weeks. That's a son. I'm not sure it's not his only jacket. I don't know. It could be. Probably his favorite if you wore it. I know. Oh.

And the one he feels like he looks good in. Yeah. It is my favorite jacket. I've got like one or two others, but they're not. They're not my favorite, you know? Yeah. Totally. Oh, man.

This is dire, Jeffrey. I know. This is code red. We're going to reach out and call Marissa, try and get you, one, your jacket back. And then two, possibly another meetup with her when we do your second date update coming up right after this. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update. Friends ghost each other, right?

Yeah. I mean. I mean politely. Yeah, eventually you get back together. Alexis, if a friend wore the same outfit as you, they're getting blackballed for like three months, right? I mean, I'm usually the one that copies my friend's outfits. Oh, that's true.

They probably shouldn't talk to you. You still call dibs on it, though. Yeah. I look cuter in it. It just seems like if you agree to go out as friends first, then there'd be less pressure on the, like, hangout. You wouldn't get ditched. Yeah, if you're just focused on being friends, you're just focused on having a good day.

Maybe she's a terrible friend. Have we ever considered that? It is weird because our listener, Leo, has not heard from Marissa for the last two weeks after they hung out. And the worst case scenario I'm thinking of is if Leo goes back to that flea market and his jacket is up for sale. Wait, worn by the fox with a monocle. Oh, even worse. That would not be good. Leo, have you checked the flea market or possibly eBay for your jacket?

To be fair, no, I have not. Okay. Great jacket caper. That's what she does. Lovers met in to steal their jackets and then resell them on secondhand stores. See, anything is possible, especially since he's the one that recommended the flea market in the first place. But you never thought about that, Leo. No, I didn't think about that.

He probably won't put a lot more thought into it. This is why you come to the show. We're creative. Creative investigators. Here's the thing, like, do we bring up the jacket? Maybe after, you know, because it's a soon she'll bring it if she says, to a date. Is it more important that you get the jacket back or that you have another hangout and stay friends with Marissa? I got to be honest, it's more important to me that I get the jacket

back because I really like that jacket. Okay. And you've only met this girl one time. And she just wants to be friends with you. So honestly, I mean, it's going to really hurt her feelings when I tell her that. But you know what? Don't say that. No. That's what he wants. Okay. I'll hold off. I mean, she might want the jacket more than him too. We don't know. It's possible. Let's find out. I'm going to dial her number right now. Let's see if she picks up. But here we go. Hey, is this Marissa? Yes, this is Marissa. Who's this? Hey, this is probably the weirdest phone call you're going to get all day.

Unless you've already talked to your ex or something, but you're on the radio right now with a show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Wait, this is the radio? Yeah, it still exists. And a podcast, but yes. Yes. We're a show. We try to help out our listeners who've hung out with somebody recently, and they're not getting a call back to hang out a second time. That's weird. It's actually not weird.

It's our bread and butter. We use every day. A lot of people don't get calls back. It's a good point. But it's weird for you. We understand why that would be strange. A strange call to take. Yeah, I've never heard this.

So it's just... Oh, totally. Yeah. So we're trying to help out our listener that you hung out with recently named Leo. Oh. Yeah. Leo. You remember Leo?

Yeah. Sorry, I'm like catching up right now. Okay, so he called you. Yes. Yeah. We spoke to him before. And he told us about your hangout at the flea market. Okay, so he probably wants his jacket, I assume, so I can just, like, leave it outside,

my place. Aw. That's all you're focused on is the jacket. You're not focused on him at all? I'm just not really into him. Okay, but I thought that you just wanted to be friends. That's what you said. Like, you're not into him even as a friend?

Yeah, I think when people start dating, the idea should be that you start as friends. And then if it progresses from there, great. but I just don't really see any hope for that in this situation. My goodness. After one. Well, it's fair. Like, you're allowed to feel that way. I don't know.

I just feel like if you're going to start as friends, you've got to be more open. You've got to give it a little bit more time because sometimes friendship in general just takes time. Unless it's so bad that you know. Yeah. I mean. What can I ask? Was there something like one particular thing that made you feel that way when you were hanging out with them? Overall, I can tell you this.

the date itself was pretty good. Okay. He was nice. He's cute. I liked him. We did have a nice time. That is not the response. I thought you were going to say.

I thought you were going to say like there was no sexual chemistry or... Brooke does have a lot of sexual chemistry with all of her friends. I can understand. A lot of family members too, so it kind of blurs the lines. But for you... You know what I mean. No, I know exactly what you mean. So for you, what was it exactly?

Okay, so the date was good. It's just when I got home, he let me borrow his jacket because it got kind of chilly. And when I hung up with the jacket, this little piece of paper fell out. And I picked it up and he had made a list titled Things Not to Say on the Date with Marissa. Oh, that is so sweet. I don't know, but sometimes I do better in my head if I write things down. Yeah. Depends on what things.

he was telling himself not to say to her. Yeah. Can we know what some of the things were? There was one that said, don't talk about the X like you did with the last girl. Oh, well, that's an important reminder. I've got to learn. That which should be number one on this list.

That's fair. Right. It's weird that it's been an issue. Like, it's something you have to remind yourself not to do. I mean, that's like a red flag for me. Okay. What's another one? There was something that said,

girls don't like crypto chat. Oh, yeah, they don't. Fair? Again, like, it's just another weird thing. Like, is he super into crypto then? Like, clearly. Why is that a red flag? He could be into crypto.

Is that bad? This means he's potentially rich, yeah. Yeah, he's a traitor. No, not, no. I know. She is right. Every crypto bro will tell you they're rich, but not all of them are. So she is right on that sense.

I mean, but you don't see these things as just, I don't know, thoughtful preparation before a date. I just think it's better to plan nice things than to write out things you should not do that you usually do that turns people off. Oh, that's tough. That'd be like me being like, don't talk that much. I know. You know, it's like it's a good thing to say don't.

Exactly, because one of the things that I wrote down was don't tell Marissa that Leo is on the other line listening and wants to talk to it. Darn. I forgot. Oh, was I not supposed? No, tell her. Tell her now. Oh, my God. Marissa. Wait.

Yeah. What? Leo's on the other line listening to this conversation. Oh, my God. No, you're kidding. You're kidding. You're No, I told myself not to say that to you. I'm sorry. Leo, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. This is pretty awkward.

Okay. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I know I wasn't supposed to say it. So the awkwardness is on me. Oh, my God. I can't believe you did that. I can't believe you didn't tell me that.

Oh, my God. Wait, you're mad and Jeffrey, though, right? Not Leo? I'm, I don't even, I'm upset. I don't know. It was my fault. It was my fault. I'll take the blame.

Leo. Talk to Marissa about. what you just heard. Well, I mean, the good thing now is that you know all my weaknesses, you know, all the bad things that I try to not do on our date. That's a positive, right? Okay, well, you also wrote on your little list, remember to tip this time. Oh, don't you say like, you don't you say tip?

Oh, my gosh. This is all, they're all red flags and things that you're saying that you usually do. And don't do this. Don't let her like see who you are is what this list feels. I was like, Marissa, I don't think you were reading the note right. The note actually said, don't forget to tip big. Hey. So, you know.

Oh. No, I didn't. And now you're just lying. Oh, I like, listen, listen, Theresa, I mean, you've got a person here who really likes you, who's trying to be a better person. I mean, what more can you want from someone? A guy who can admit their flaws is nice. You seriously?

And actually take action to change them. I get someone who doesn't have so many red flags and issues talking. you're at his ex all the time and doesn't tip and it's into crypto. This is so messed up. I think it's your perspective though. I think if you looked at it the other way, they're all green flags. And I haven't heard him mention his ex-girlfriend once

during this entire phone call. And it doesn't have his little paper in front of him to remind him not to do that. We didn't even know he had one. Yeah. I actually wrote that on the paper before I called the radio station actually. But I'm doing well. I'm not doing that rule. Oh, you do have a paper right now as well.

Okay. I feel like I'm being set up and I kind of want to go now. Well, Marissa, don't you feel like maybe you're being a little bit harsh and judging him a lot for like a piece of paper that you found? No, not really. Like, I don't, this is not even like someone I want to, I just don't even. You don't care enough. No, but you will hold on to his jacket for two weeks.

Oh, the jacket. What are we doing there? She said that she'd leave it on her doorstep. Oh, that's right. I'll put it out today. No, wait, don't put it outside. Someone's going to steal it. It's a really nice jacket.

Yeah. And then they're going to have all the tips about what not to do on the first day. So Marissa, would you at least meet up with him to hand him his jacket in person? I'll put your jacket out at seven. Come and get it at seven. Okay. Well, there's a deadline. Wow. Marissa, I'm just going to say that you're not as nice as you were on our first date. And it's not going to help you make more friends if you're not this nice. You know what I mean?

That's some friendly advice. Thanks for the tip. I think I'll be fine. Oh, and he tips. See? Look what he does. That was a big tip. He really comes through. Those bullet points are working around.

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I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Man, I'm just reading the text board after that second date. And someone actually scored each of our performances. Oh. Oh, way. They said Jeff, succinct, humorous, off the cuff, handsome. Nine out of ten. No one texted that.

Alexis, Jose and Brooke combined, nine out of ten. Hey, combined, though. We're all threes. Yikes. I like it. I'm, I'm disappointed in all of you,

that you guys didn't try harder for that poor, poor man. Alexis, do you promise to do better next time that we have a listener on? I think I was on his side the whole time. You think. You're not even sure. Jose, you win on doing better? I don't know what's going on.

I'm just happy I'm a three. Brooke, please. Will you actually try for our listeners? Yes, always. No wonder you guys were all rated threes, but if you want to find... And now email us. Now that you've heard our enthusiasm. Exactly.

You can't email us if you want us to help you with your dating life. We'll go check out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcast. They're up online at Brooke and Jeffrey. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We've heard of people meeting in public places before. Like at a dog park, in a fitness class. Oh, yeah. In the waiting room of your couple's counseling sessions.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on. I don't know. Writing's on the wall. You'll never know where it's going to happen. Oh, boy. But I promise you, you've never heard of anything like this before.

Because what one guy did to ask out a woman he saw outside a coffee shop is creative. It's unique. Yes. It's even funny. What? So it's no wonder our listener is so desperate to see this dude one more time. You're going to hear about the smooth move he pulled in your second date update right after this. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Second Date update. Is there any way to do the math to figure out what type of person you're the most compatible with? Is there math for that? Oh, I'm better math too. I'm never going to find you. Like, start with affectionate.

Okay. Multiply by heavy petting. Substract two blindfolds. Keep one. Divide with an overbearing mother and... Oh, this is Jeff Math. I get it now. Oh, you're going to die alone.

Shoot. Every time I try to calculate this, I keep coming up with the same answer. It's the infinity symbol. It's like time zero anytime you add the mother. Right. Yeah, that's exactly it. Thank goodness our listener, Justine, found a different formula. And hopefully her results are better than mine,

because apparently she's been single for a bit now. But Justine, how's the dating world going for you? Are you also reserving a burial plot for one? Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. I can hear you laughing through the tears, so that's good. It's all right, Justine.

I haven't put my deposit down yet. The funny thing is you're not alone in that. A lot of us are out there with you, but you said that you figured out some sort of mathematic formula to help you with your dating life. What was that? Yeah, it's like this online test. Oh. And basically you put in all the stuff that you care about, like your preferences and whatever

for like finding a partner. Yeah. And it's supposed to come back with, like, the percentage of men on dating apps who, like, fit those preferences. Oh, really? So, wait. They also take the test then? No, I think that it probably, I'm guessing it's an algorithm that goes through and looks at their dating profiles. Is that how it works?

Yeah, yeah. And so, like, I started out, like, super basic. I was like, they have to have a job. They have to, like, not live at their parents' house, like, have a car. Okay. Okay. The standards are crazy on your end. And no.

You're from the data, Prince? I didn't put a single thing that was physical, like, height or anything, and it came back with less than one percent of men. No way. Just having a car and a job? Truly. Oh, my goodness. Okay. So you weren't feeling positive, I'm guessing, at that number or?

You know, that's, like, very bleak. Okay. Anyway, I, like, after all of that, ended up meeting this guy named James, like, just in a coffee shop. Oh. Didn't even need the dating apps. She ran into the 1%. Okay. That's kind of funny, like the irony.

How did that interaction happen? I literally were just sitting down and I was like scrolling and he comes up to me and he's like, are you accepting applications? And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't work here. Like, I thought he was like applying at the coffee stop. Oh, okay. Were he wearing like an apron or something? No.

I guess I just like looked like I was, I don't know. I don't know. Burista vibes. Or you're a manager. You know, sometimes you walk in. to a restaurant or something you see a manager working? That's a good point. Yeah.

How did you respond to him when he asked about application? I was like, oh, sorry, I don't work here. And he was like, no, no, like to be your boyfriend. Oh. It was all the line. Okay. Did you like that? I mean, I thought it was funny.

But he, like, fully went along with it. And he was like, listen, I brought my resume. I've got like my history and experience. And he legitimately, like, pulled out a piece of paper. Shut up. Wait, what? He had a dating resume? Yes.

Oh, I have to know what was on it. Or is it a move that he pulls on women all the time? And he has like 20, quote unquote, dating resumes in his pocket to hand out whenever he sees someone cute. Kind of like the real world of getting a job. Would you try to stand out? Yeah, she's right. You're looking to have them on you. I mean, if she liked the resume, who cares how many other people?

Like, what was on it? You know, like basic stuff. Like he likes going to games and hiking. But he was like, yeah, if you want to set up an interview, can just like call the number. And I was like, why don't you just sit down now? can interview you. Oh my gosh. Great response.

Yeah, and it was really nice. Like, he turned out to be an awesome guy. He, like, offered to literally Venmo me for the coffee that I'd already bought. That's awesome. What a good guy. You look poor here. You probably need this money. What was the hardest boyfriend interview question that you asked him?

Well, okay, so I've actually, like, done interviews at my real job. So I was like, okay, I'm just going to pull some of these. And I was like, what's one thing you don't like? want me to know about you. You're actually good at this. I like it. Dude, he is so not prepared for this. He's a dang it.

I would hate that question to be asked to me on a first day, but did he have an answer for you? He did. And it was like, it was like ready made. It's like he expected it. And he legitimately said, I pry when I watch the Matrix because I'm scared about the future. Oh, I think that was prepared.

I feel like that was honest. Yeah. Yeah. Seems so obscure. There's no way he just thought of that. How did you feel about that, response. Honestly, I thought it was really funny and it was really clever. And like, because it was so quick, I was like, oh, no, you're serious. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a red flag to you that he thinks

the Matrix is actually going to happen in the next few years. There could have been so many worse answers, he said. Yeah. That is so much better than anything. Okay. So anyway, at the end, he's like, so did I get the job? And I was like, well, we probably should set up like a second interview. Yeah. And then I definitely got the job. And we kind of like left it off there and it was funny and we laughed and then he like never called me again what weird i like texted him made jokes about like hey we need to set up your second interview and it was just silence did you guys kiss or anything or like hug was there a physical vibe no like a normal job interview yeah it's not a real job it doesn't sound like a transition how do you think i got hired

yeah that's true i mean that is strange though because he's the one that approached you yeah he's the one that did the line like why wouldn't he but she's the one that took it to the next level that actually made him sit down for it. He probably just thought it was a smooth line and was going to back away. I don't know. But he literally was the one asking, like, did I get the job? Yeah. Yeah.

He just wants the ego boost. He doesn't mean he has to accept it. The offer the company gives you isn't good. Or he's got to put in two weeks at his last job. He's like engaged. We got to find out. Yeah. There's clearly a lot of options on the table.

We're going to find out for sure what happened when we come back and call James to do your second date update right after. this. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update. Is there any setting more romantic than a job interview? Oh. Yes, many, many, many.

It shouldn't be romantic. I don't know, Brooke. I think HR does. You're dressed all nice. You're talking about your biggest strengths and your greatest weaknesses. Okay. Jeff. And all of a sudden, what comes out of your pants? Oops. A resume.

No. Would you look at that? I just happened to have that on me. Why is it? No wonder it's so warm. That's actually kind of what happened to one of our listeners who met a guy recently. It wasn't an official job application, but some dudes saw it at a coffee shop and asked, hey, are you taking boyfriend applications? It is so smooth. And he even had a resume in his pants. That's why it's even smooth. In his pocket, okay? Or who knows where it was? We don't know. Either way, it's kind of suss that he just carries that around waiting to whip out to any cute girl. That's what he does, but we don't know he may have done this just for her. Here's a thing.

At least he's putting some effort in. Yeah. It did work, and he got to sit down with her for a little interview slash mini first date. By the end, he said he was definitely going to call her, and according to her, he definitely didn't. So I think we're all a little bit concerned that this little schick he's doing is working too well, and maybe he's applying to multiple boyfriend positions all throughout the city. There are a lot of openings. Yeah.

There's a lot of good candidates. Justine, if this turns out where he actually does this all the time and meets hundreds of women this way, how could we make him remember you and have you stand? Like, how do we identify you? Or do you still even want to go out with him at that point? Well, at least I'm curious to hear what he has to say. But yeah, I was wearing a green romper. I have red hair and glasses. Okay, cute.

Cute. Okay. Like the Ronald McDonald's sort of thing. I feel like you were the only. one that sat him down and actually gave him like a legit interview. Yeah. That's true. Like how can he not remember you?

Hopefully. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So we'll see if he does remember you and what he asked to say. We're going to dial James's phone number right now. Here we go. Hey, we're looking for James.

Yeah. This is him. What is this? Where we, we are a radio show. Jim, sorry. You fumbled like the first word. Yeah. Oh, thanks for pointing out all my flaws.

Sorry. front of everybody. You know, if you were interviewing for this job. I'm sorry. We're calling on behalf of our boss, Justine, and apparently you applied for the position of her boyfriend role recently. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember that interview? Do you remember that interview? I mean, I remember a few of them. Yeah. Oh, Jeff. You were on to something there. That's all right, though. I mean, we expected that. Yeah. We heard about the most. move that you pulled on our listener where you walked up to her and you like had a

resume and asked if there was a boyfriend opening is that something that you've done a lot? Yeah, yeah, I've done not a good about. Can I guess how many times? Is it 200 times? So many, there's no way. I don't know about 200. I want to know the success rate. How many of those

turn into a date? They do sometimes. I've definitely met some interesting people. Okay. I am curious about that before we get to like justine specifically like what are some of the quirky things that you found out while trying this on other people before um i mean there's this one girl who is an extreme couponer oh whoa i've never met before yeah that's interesting they're tv shows about people yeah we call them cheap skates but yeah go ahead um there's another girl who um kept talking about alien abductions so uh that was really interesting was that a turn on for

You, I'm curious, like, it sounds like you're just meeting people to meet weird people. Are you actually looking for something in this? You know, I don't really know what I'm looking for, to be honest. It's just, it's proven to be a great way to meet people. Like, people really respond to me. Maybe you're looking for a girl who wears a green romper to a coffee shop and has bright red hair. And just tells you to sit down for the interview right away when you ask. Oh, yeah.

Thank God you told me what she was wearing because now I know who you're talking about. Oh, my God. Wait, other women ask you to sit down for the interview too? How old when we find out the alien stories? That's a good point. Oh, my God. So now you remember Justine. Yeah, yeah, I remember Justin.

What did you think? Yeah. Here's the thing. I do this a good amount and it's just, you know, it's all over the place. The reactions that I get, but Justine's was like, she was really quick with it. And she was different. Okay. I'll be honest, that kind of freaked me out.

out. Oh, it did? I didn't know how to respond. Because she beat you at your own game, essentially. Right? Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Okay. But what does that be? That seems like it'd be a turn-on. No, men don't like to be outsmarted. I was just going to say...

How do they ever meet anyone? James, how did you feel talking to Justine like that? Were you scared of her? You know, yeah, honestly, I just... I never take this thing seriously. It's just sort of a gimmick. and shoot for the first time I felt like, wow, this really could be something. You can't let your own insecurity stand in the way of that.

You want someone who challenges you, who makes you better. What's your hold up then? I guess I'm just not used to that. I've never had to happen before. So you finally found her and you're like, what do I do? That's why you're single, my man. Like you don't know how to move forward now that you realize you actually like her. Kind of.

Like, she might just be quicker than me. I don't know. I think she is. Yeah. Yeah, that's terrifying. I mean, I appreciate the honesty. You know, if you think that's terrifying, just wait until you hear that she's actually been listening to this conversation the entire time. It is on the other line right now.

Are you serious? Hey. Hey. Scary Justine. Try not to scream. Hey. Hey, Justin. Come on, James.

You were like, I thought we had like a banter. We did. We did. We did. freak me out. I've never had a banter. Oh, man. You have every right to be, like, confident and witty. And, like, the guy that I met could, like, play ball. Like, he could play chess. And I feel like you're just, like, afraid of that.

But honestly, you kept up in the conversation great. Like, it was, I really enjoyed our conversation. And I'm a little sad, but, like, now you're, like, backing out. I mean, I'm not backing out. I'm just sort of, like, frozen, not sure what to do. Okay. Okay. This is positive. Well, now we need to de-thaw you and get you back into action. Yeah.

Push you forward. Not backwards. What did I picture? I'm popping him in a microwave. Well, whatever we got to do. She liked your energy when you first met, so just bring that back and talk to her. Yeah, I mean, I can definitely do that. More confident than that, though. Yeah.

Yeah, Justine, I would like that. I would like if we could get this gone. Wait, what? Oh, it sounds kind of timid to me. Let's a start. Can you try to say it a little more. assertive, please? Put some flare on it, James.

Seriously. All right, Justine, let's do this. All right. Let's do this. I'm not sure. I mean, I thought you guys were going to talk right now. Yeah. Oh, no, not in front of you.

He's scared. Dude, you can't ask for interviews. You can't apply to be people's boyfriends and then not. It's like you put Riz on your application, but you have no Riz. Yeah, show it to us. Here's the thing. I think you do have Riz. I think you're just afraid of messing up, and it keeps you from being

old. She's calling you out, dude. Like, you did really well, but I think you got in your head. I think so. When there are no stakes, it's easy. But now that there's stakes, it's different. Oh, that's actually kind of cute. Well, that's true.

There will be stakes if we pay for them because we will offer to send you to a steakhouse. Really? Yeah, our gift cards cover them? I like free things. And it's going to be an Applebee's steak. I thought we were going to Sizzler. But we'd like to send you guys out on one more date that we would pay for if you're not too afraid, James.

Come on, James. Yeah, we love that. I feel like if we didn't call and push you into this, then this date never even would have happened. Yeah. I mean, we don't know that. I feel like we kind of know that. Justine, you're still okay with it?

I am open to a second interview. But he honestly sounds like pretty different, a lot more timid. So we'll just have to see how it looks. less rehearsed interview goes. Okay. Was the first one just to show, or is it really who he is? Yeah. We'll find out.

Let's put it in a real world experience. I'm doing the dating math on this, just like Justine did originally. And I'm saying this relationship's probably at a 5% chance right now. Higher than I was going to give it. Really? Yeah, that's good. Unless he says something really smooth right now. I got nothing.

Okay. It's a 2% chance. Good luck, you guys. It's broken Jeffrey in the more. morning. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Experience Harry Styles live in London, England at

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Not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman, help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an Acapella band with their between songs banter. There's the worst singer in the group. The worst?

Yeah. Me. Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The group. The yard words, right? That's the name. The Harvard Yard.

But they're open. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged. One erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Huber me.

I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Does anybody think they're actually going to meet up for a date? Or do this whole experience just lower his confidence even more? Yo, I think we broke him. I think so. He broke himself. I love this. A guy who's saying I'm handing out boyfriend applications but doesn't actually want a relationship.

I know. I'm like, why? Why? He's literally all talk. There's a lot of people that go into. something with just their first move planned. Yeah. And that's all that he had.

You're right, Jeff. That's exactly what happened. But it's such an elaborate first move. It's so good. Like, why not be interested? I hope they go out again. Yeah, I do too. Why do I feel like there's going to be a whole lot more copycat resume guys out there now, though?

All trying to apply for the open boyfriend positions. Luckily for you, ladies, I don't know how to make a resume. Oh. Actually, Brooke, there's a lot of text coming in at 7, 8, 5,92, asking if you have any open position. Hey. Sorry, awful. Between your husband and Roy.

We're not hiring right now. We'll keep you posted on that. But I am flattered. Yes, very much. The bennies are great over here. Make sure to email in if you ever want some help with your dating life. We'll call that person who's not calling you back and go check out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcast at Brooke and Jeffrey.

Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy. Not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform?

We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential.

Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until Karma made her pay for it.

All right, Sophia, tell me about how we started this story. She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her son-in-law's workplace pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. She faked a medical emergency. And, spoiler, that was just the beginning. To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tauntons and wampas on the ice planet hot,

or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to Stuff to Blow Your Mind on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. On the Look Back at it podcast. From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English.

Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to Look Back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. podcasts.