Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Crochet Okay

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

One of our listeners planned a date night around a hobby that’s probably not as popular as others, but she definitely felt a connection! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Second Date Update Can opposites attract? Oh, I think so. Science would say yes. Yeah, Jeff. I mean, look at Brooke and Jose, for example. Brooke went to a non-accredited college. It was very accredited.

One of the best journalism schools in the country. Meanwhile, Jose can't even spell that. Yeah, is there four or six seasons accredited? We're not even going to get into that. I got to say, I don't know if I know how to spell that. Yeah, is there four or six seasons accredited? We're not even going to get into that. I gotta say, I don't know if I know how to spell it. Brooke washes her sheets. Jose has never bought sheets.

No, I do. After a couple years, I buy new ones. I'm not attracted to Jose. I'm just saying, they still get along. Wait, you're not? You guys get along. You're like the husband and wife of this radio show. She's like my sister. You work together, never sleep together.

No. But they'll still kiss on special occasions. Forehead kisses. Give me a kiss, bestie. Come here. Get away from me. That's exactly what she says to her husband. Now, see, I'm more curious, though though about our listener today sarah because she felt like

maybe her date might work out because they were kind of opposites too so sarah welcome to the show hi thank you please tell me it was the better than the disaster you just witnessed for the last 30 seconds hope you at least got a forehead kiss it. Oh, so it's exactly like what we just did. That's not a glowing review. Why are you calling in then? Oh, you guys make me uncomfortable. Oh, okay. That's normal.

Well, that's good. We make everybody uncomfortable. In fact, that's our goal. I'm also uncomfy. But we want to talk about you and the guy that you went out with. What's his name? Oh, he's lovely. That's Jake. Jake.

Okay. Jake's a good name. That's a hot guy name. Where'd you meet him? Yeah. Oh, where do you think? Tinder. Online, yeah.

What did you and Jake end up doing for your date? I thought it would be fun. I'm really big into crochet. I don't know if you guys have tried crocheting before yeah i i used to do it in third grade really yeah and a babysitter that taught us how to is that a humble brag back in the 1800s that was a mandatory course in third well it's nice because it's just one hook instead of you know like knitting is with two needles yeah i don't know anything about it. Sorry. But I don't know.

How did Jake feel about it? I was really impressed because, well, first thing is that he showed up and he was really confused because he thought it was croquet. Oh, like the yard game. Yeah, where you hit the balls with the mallets. He shows up in like athletic gear like, I'm ready to go. Are you ready to play? I don't think you need athletic gear for croquet.

Wait, how did you turn croquet into a date, though? Well, no, we didn't play croquet. We crocheted. I mean, crochet. Yeah, so we ended up actually taking a class. A crocheting class. That's kind of cute. Yeah, I thought it would be fun, and I was surprised he was so excited about it

until I realized he didn't know what it was we were doing. Oh, yeah. Okay. A little mild speed bump. Brings a mallet. I just picture you in a room with a bunch of gray-haired grannies. Yeah. No, okay, so it was literally 11 women in him, but he was down to try it.

He was definitely struggling with it. With the actual crocheting. Yeah. Like, we couldn't even get him to chain a row. Okay. God. It was pretty bad. It'd be kind of a miracle, though, if it was just beginner's luck and he's able to knit an entire blanket in, like, ten minutes.

You don't knit. You crochet. They're different. Okay. You know what? I tried. I tried, bro. I tried to act interested.

You take over. It's not that hard. Hook one, hook two. Boring. That was really fun. Sorry. So give us some highlights from the crochet class. I was impressed by the way he responded to our teacher, Glenda.

She's like this really old, tough woman. And she was correcting him a lot. So I felt like I was good cop and Glenda was bad cop so every time she'd come over and pick on him I was like you're doing great. Don't know anything about old harsh women correcting a person sounds like a great time

I don't either what a lucky guy shut up Jeff to me that was a highlight, because it shows character. Yeah. How long were you guys at this class? It was, like, almost two hours. Oh, that's a long time.

Yeah. It doesn't sound like a quick thing. And there was no, like, alcohol served or anything like that? Yeah, or they're, like, a cheese platter. Yeah, what romantic aspect came into this date? I thought this was kind of romantic. Do you know the movie Ghost? Yeah.

Yeah, with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore. 40 years ago, yeah. I don't know. You've seen the iconic scene where he's behind her doing pottery. No. Okay. No, I'm so excited because that's what I did. You got behind him and sensually crocheted?

Yes. I love it. I love it. I stand corrected. This is hot. It was kind of silly, but also it got us close. I thought it was a good move. Made an excuse for some physical touch.

Yes. Yeah, okay. Let's fast forward to the end of the day. How did you guys leave it? Well, I was kind of down to get a drink or hang out some more, but he didn't invite me. Oh, that's weird. He probably thought you were going to go sew buttons or something.

Or maybe he thought you were so unimpressed by his abilities that you weren't interested. Oh, I hope not. Like Glinda. Yeah. So what's happened since then? Have you stayed in contact? No.

I mean, we just kind of had a hug. We went our separate ways. And I texted him later and said, oh, my gosh, it's so fun. You know, I'm hooked on you. That kind of thing. Not really. Oh, yeah. I'm hooked on you.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Unfortunately, I got it. It's on you yeah unfortunately i got it it's a close check you you got it we've all been here long enough now that they're catching on yeah he hasn't responded so and i thought maybe like he didn't like the activity so i would be down to just do something more active something more in line with what he's interested in. I mean, it's a risky activity. Like literally anything else. But here's the thing.

Here's the thing. When she told him about it, he was excited because he didn't know what she was talking about. There was a miscommunication. Well, I'm sure there's going to be plenty more miscommunications when we call him and ask him about the date. We're going to do that when we come back and do your second date update next. Second date update. If you missed the first part of this call, we're doing an experiment to see

if opposites really do attract in the dating world. Yes. Because we have our listener, Sarah, who is a very nice woman. She's into crochet and crochet jokes. Yeah. And romantic moves stolen from 1980s movies. You're not talking her up real well right now.

These are the things that she doesn't like. Yeah. And her date, Jake, who is a little bit more active in his lifestyle, he showed up wearing athletic wear to the crochet class. Uh-huh. He misunderstood the assignment. Yeah. Because he thought it was croquet that they were going to do. Also an old person's

thing. Yeah. Athletic, but he probably looked like a country club athletic. Right, yeah. He became a little bit over-prepared, too. Yeah. And after their two-hour crochet class, they shared a hug, and Sarah has not heard from him since then. Brooke just let out a giant yawn.

Like, not even joking. I was just thinking of Glenda. It was a 30-second recap, and she couldn't stay awake for it. I mean, she's just tired. Okay. Sarah, is there any message in particular you want me or perhaps Brooke to deliver to Jake once we get him on the phone, if we can? Anything specific you want us or perhaps Brooke to deliver to Jake once we get him on the phone if we can? Anything specific you want us to say? Just that if he wanted to do a different activity, I'd love to go on a different date.

Right. Okay. You sound fun. You sound like you're up for pretty much anything. Yeah. And it sounds like a different date would be a good idea. Yeah. I'll tell him.

Sarah is down for whatever you want. Yeah. You name it, she'll do it. I don't think we should deliver that message. That's our game plan. It's what Sarah wants and we give her what she wants. Let's make the call to Jake right now. Here we go. Hello?

Hey, is this Jake? Yeah, it is. Hey, man. Who is this? My name is Jeff, and there's a whole room of people here that is really excited to meet you. What up? What are you talking about? Well, you're our man of the hour for our second date update. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.

I mean, that name always feels like you should. It's a chantable name. You're in a bar. Very chantable. No, Jake? Okay, what's up? Sorry, we're a bit much. What's up is we're doing a segment called the second date update.

And we've had one of our listeners ask us to get a hold of you after you went out with her to a crochet class named Sarah. Oh, yeah. Hot night, right? It was an interesting evening, for sure. Okay. That's a good start. It sounds like you said that with a smile on your face. Yeah.

Our job today is to try and figure out what's going on between you and Sarah, if there's any vibes going on there. Can you tell us about your date? Yeah, there wasn't really a vibe, you know? Like, I don't know. I can't really talk about it. Why can't you talk about it? You just didn't like her?

No, I mean, like, no, she was nice. I just, you know, I just really don't see us going on another date. Okay. I think she already gets that vibe just really don't see us going on another date. Okay. I think she already gets that vibe. It sounds like there was a big misunderstanding. The fact that you're not calling or texting or speaking to her at all is a pretty good hint. We're trying to figure out the reason why. Yeah, well, it's like I'm not supposed to.

So, like. Not supposed to? Not supposed to. What do you mean? Like. What? What just happened there jake i mean like um well i know you guys you know it's a radio thing but like don't tell her this right don't let this get back to her but i can promise that i won't say it to her yeah yeah okay that's what i can promise nice jim okay so like i don't know what she told you, but we went, like, crocheting. Yeah.

Was that kind of a surprise, right? Yeah. Like, I thought she meant croqueting, like, with the lawn. Croqueting. We actually heard that there was a misunderstanding. She felt bad about that, but she said you were a good sport. But what's the thing about you saying you can't go out with her? Why?

Okay. So, like, we did the crochet thing. And, I mean, I'm always willing to try anything once. Okay. And I was having a hard time. And so the instructor, like, pulled me aside for a little bit, like, while Sarah was, like, in the restroom. Are you talking about Glenda? Old Glenda?

Oh, she told you her name? Yeah. She said Glenda was going hard on you, and she kind of felt bad about it. Yeah. Oh, you have no idea um dang so glenda she like she pulled me aside and she was like showing me how to crochet but while she was showing me she started talking about her son and how she's been trying to set up sarah with her son So she was asking me questions like, oh, have you been dating Sarah for a while? And I was like, no, this is our first date. And

she's like, oh, I don't think Sarah is a good match for you. I've been trying to set her up with my son. So you're scared of competition. No! You're scared of Glenda. From Glenda's son?

Yeah, but why would you have to listen to anything Glenda says? It's not like... Well, first of all, I don't really like drama, and this already sounds like it's going to be a dramatic thing. Yeah, bro, I feel it. I wouldn't want anything to do with that either, dog. You're not a crochet class. It's only going to be drama there.

Sarah really likes crochet. Okay. But number two, Glenda offered me $100 to not go on any more dates with Sarah. Oh, there it is. Oh, my God. Glenda paid you off? That's what happened. Yeah, so I took the money.

No. You took the money? Wait, what is happening right now? There goes your money. You guys didn't tell me she was on the line. Yeah. You told me not to tell her. Yeah.

I'm just listening to what you said. Yeah, you got me, but like, f*** it. Yeah, that's how these calls work. They listen on the other line, but she wants to talk to you, man, clearly. Sarah? A hundred bucks? Oh, yeah. That was it.

First of all, thanks, Glenda, for caring that much. I see you care. I mean, Glenda's probably going to have her sons back before she has yours. Glenda really likes you. She really likes her son. Maybe you should give her son a shot. What? Oh, my gosh, bro.

You are not playing matchmaker right now. You're stumping for glenda's son i get it they're like a hundred dollars isn't a lot of money it's like a gallon of gas and a gallon of milk but the date wasn't going the best anyway so you know i just took some beer money i don't know that's a little harsh i mean i personally wasn't on your date but it sounded like you two were trying to have fun and do a unique activity. There was some 1980s movies references thrown in. Until she got sold for beer money. Yeah, I thought we were having fun.

We were laughing. We were having a good time. Yeah. Right? We were, but I'd rather take the $100. Can I just ask, did you at least wait to the end of the date to take the money, or was that right at the beginning? Oh, no, no.

She slid to me when she pulled me aside and you were in the restroom. So, like, halfway through, you knew. Well, it would have been more awkward for him to accept $100 from her at the very end of the date. He ran just over her? Excuse me, hold on. You have that money? The thing is, is if he knew, he wasn't going to call her anyway. I mean, I wouldn't blame him for taking the money.

I mean, yeah. Snatch and get up and leave? You don't even give her a shot, right? You can see the date through. I didn't even try to kiss her or go home with her at the end of the date. We know. We know. I'm kind of mad at Glenda, to be honest.

No way. No, I'm thankful for Glenda because she helped me to weed you out. And frankly, her persistence and her son is a nice guy. Oh, you've met him. Oh, you know the son. But why have you been avoiding him then? Not going out with him? I just wasn't interested, but he seems like a much more viable option now. He's not cute, huh?

They're going to pay you too. No, I'm kidding. You could be Glenda's future daughter-in-law. Think about that. You might get future crochet lessons for free. Have we ever had a second dater that's pushing somebody away so hard like he is right now? I can't go on a second date. I took the $100.

Oh, well, good. I wasn't going to ask you, Jake. I was going to ask Sarah if you would like to go out on a date with Glenda's son. No way. Are we going to pay for it? Yeah, we're going to pay for it. How is everyone getting paid to go on dates right now? We would make Glenda's dreams come true.

Technically, I'm getting paid to not go on a date. That's a good point. That's a good point. So you keep that $100, agree to continue to not go out with Sarah. Sarah, will you go out with Glenda's son? You know, yeah, I will. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Wow. Oh, my God. Congratulations, Glenda's son. If you're listening, you just got a date with Sarah. Everybody wins. Dude, we have to get an update. Everyone's being bribed left and right. Who knew there was so much drama in the crochet class?

This should be Real Housewives of Crochet. You're right, bro. Well, Sarah, congratulations. We got you a second date. I am actually pretty excited to go out with anybody but Jake. Oh. Burn. Well, Benjamin Franklin agrees.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. You know, it's funny. Brooke wants to get an update On this one We never even spoke to the guy That is going to be going out on a date But are you so interested Like does this guy know his mom is interfering

With his dating life Is this guy even interested in her Actually there's a lot there I mean come on It's just a bunch of questions that we don't know This is the drama in the crochet world I've been waiting for. Do not take it from

me. You've been waiting. This is the crochet team. The son of a crochet master. That is what Brooke is excited about. I want you to hear me say that to you. That makes you excited. It does. Okay. I think a lot of listeners are too. Dude, I know Glenda's excited. Oh, yeah, for sure. Glenda's son, listeners are, too. Dude, I know Glenda's excited. Oh, yeah.

For sure. Glenda's son, Rudy Nuthatch. Is that his name? We never got his name. Looked him up on Facebook. It's going to be a good time. Oh, my God. Crocheting.

This show really has sunk to a new low. It sounds like a good TV series. Crocheting with the Nuthatches. You say that until Glenda makes you a good scarf. Then you're all in. Who's warm all winter? I can't wait to stand corrected on this. But until then, you can always email us. We'll call the person who isn't calling you back.

Make sure you go check out all of our second-day podcasts online, whenever you get yours, at Brooke and Jeffrey. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.