Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Crystal Clear Aura

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

Today, we have a woman on the phone who went out with a guy...and during their date… she took something out of her purse, and rubbed it ON HIS LEG… The question is: What was it?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. And she said Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.

And she said she desperately wants our help. If she didn't put desperate in the email, probably wouldn't have clicked on it and called her. Really? Is that a trick? If you're going to email us? You like only our desperate listeners? I like that because I identify with it. I, too, am a very desperate person. You like only our desperate listeners? I like that because I identify with it. Ah, that makes sense. I, too, am a very desperate person. So, Desperate Melanie, welcome to the show. Nice to meet you.

I'm Desperate Jeff. How are you doing today? Hi, how are you guys? I'm so excited to be on with you. Okay. He just called you Desperate Melanie. I'm not sensing the desperation in your voice. It sounds more chipper. You know, I'm one of those people that just believes in, desperate, Melanie. I'm not sensing the desperation in your voice. It sounds more chipper.

You know, I'm one of those people that just believes in, like, energy. And so if that's what he feels like, that's one thing. But to me, I'm pumped about this. Like, I want to see how this goes. But you put desperate in your email. I was hoping for a lower energy person. So you can't relate now is the problem, Jeff. You can't relate.

This is great. Melanie, I'm really, I'm happy that you're excited and happy. Are you? Yeah, sure. You're not. You wanted them to match his like depression. I could be low energy. No, no, no.

Be you, Melanie. Be yourself. Okay. So just tell us about the guy that you went out with. What's his name? His name is Jared. Okay. What's his energy like?

Does he match your energy? Yeah, he did. I met him through a friend through a friend. It wasn't like a blind date. But when I met him, speaking about energy, he was just so bright. Aw. Good. So what did you guys do?

Did you talk much before you met up? Not really. We kind of made it, like, waited for the date. We went to this cute little cafe. It was really nice. And, I mean, we had a great time. We sat. We chatted.

Like, he's, you know, I told him that I'm into crystals and auras and energy and all that. Crystals. So you're on that next level. So you're like Himalayan salts and stuff. No, she's just like every Gen z on etsy right now this is basically like a blind date you said you barely even spoke to him before you met him like what was it like when you first walked in like what was your first impression oh i thought he was so hot not only was he like his energy was good but like he got a nice caboose okay i haven't heard that

word in a while that's where the bright energy was coming from. Just beaming out of his body. Like sunshine coming out of that hole. He had some sunshine, like you said. And it went really well. We chatted about what he's into. He plays on a softball team. And he was telling me that he kind of tweaked his knee.

So I recommended a rose quartz and a clear crystal so this way you can amplify the healing and you know he seems really into it like everything we were just vibing and after we had dinner we went out yeah you're talking like a million miles a minute which is great i can tell you're really excited about this but um you really do believe very strongly in this crystal energy stuff. I do. Okay. Are you saying that you brought some crystals with you to the cafe? Yes, I always have crystals on me.

Like, I wear some, and then I bring some, depending on, like, what I'm trying to manifest and what I'm trying to attract. So, can I be honest? Yeah. I've been kind of curious about this life. Oh, okay. I'm not lying. It's not going to be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a have a crystal at your house right like yeah we have a few in my family room you're dabbling i don't know what they do but they're there they're supposed to be good like how do you

how do you know that they change anything like what kind of crystals are you bringing out on a date i usually bring like an amethyst because that's my birthstone and that's for like love and then i bring a rose quartz because that's healing and that's love and then i usually bring a clear quartz because that amplifies the other two crystals and brings them to like their maximum potency okay and so how do you how does it work you just like pull it out and then you what rub it on the affected area or you just have to carry it i mean i did rub the clear quartz on his knee that he said wasn't feeling well so i did do that what was his response to that because i feel like people are either like oh that's kind of cool or whoa he seemed interested i will say that he seemed

interested he wanted to hear about it i'm interested are there crystals that make things bigger there are pills that make things bigger okay so i mean after all the crystal talk uh how did the rest of the date go it went really well like we were just hanging out and i really had an awesome time he said that his knee was bothering him so he was like okay i'm gonna head out or whatever and so when i was leaving i gave a big hug and i said i really had a nice time and i hope to do it again and he was like yeah me too and then it just kind of like has been fading do you think he was disappointed that the crystal didn't work since his knee still hurt maybe maybe do you regret not giving him a crystal before he took off? I do.

Oh, really? You think maybe if he held on to one, it could have bonded you like the two energies from all the crystals would have connected stronger. You know a lot about this. I'm just guessing. I'm just talking on my butt. It sounded good. I was on board. Okay.

Yeah. I'll buy you new crystals. If he answers and wants to go on another date, I promise that I will give him a crystal this time. We're going to bribe him. We already have gifts for him. She wants to give you her crystal. How did you make that? That's what she said she wanted to do.

Not that way. That's what we're going to offer to him. We're going to play a song first. We'll come back and we'll try and get you a second date update, okay? Thank you, guys. All right, hold on, Melanie. You know, I met a guy behind a 7-Eleven once who offered me some crystal. And I turned it down.

That's good. Good. Smart choice. I don't know, because after speaking with Melanie, I feel like maybe I should have accepted it. Because she's a crystal fanatic. That's giving her a bad label. She's just bursting with positive energy. Well, that's also not helping.

Especially because she went out with a great guy recently named Jarrett. And she says they had a blast together. They had some food, rubbed rocks on each other. But after their date. They got their rocks off. Right, sure. Oh my God. After that, though, they got their rocks off. Right. Sure. After that, though,

Jared's been difficult to get a hold of. And so she's turned to us asking for help. Melanie, is there a crystal that you could hold for me right now to turn me into

a better radio host so that this might actually go well? I will recommend selenite because it is always charged and ready to go. So that will amplify you.

That will cleanse you. That will cleanse you. That will get you going. Oh, all right. Wait, better than the five-hour energy that he drinks every day? Yes. Okay. Nice. Do you have one for credit card debt, too?

That's a pyrite. That's money. Oh, okay. That's going to help you. Oh, she's being serious. Oh, wow. Oh, there's one. All right.

Getting lectured by the crystal. Oh, all right. But. Oh, wow. Oh, there she is. All right. Getting lectured by the crystal. Oh, all these, but you don't have one to make things bigger. Yeah. Okay. They're still disappointed. We still need a solution. So all this crystal talk aside, like, you are still feeling really positive about this, right? He was so cool with me.

Our vibe was, like, right where I wanted it to be. So it has to work out. Like, it has to. We're going to keep that optimism going. Yeah. We're going to take that energy and we're going to dial Jarrett's number and see what he has to say. You ready? Yes, I am. Thank you. All right, here we go.

Hello? Hi, is this Jarrett? This is Jarrett. Jarrett? Jarrett. Jarrett? Jarrett. Jarrett.

Oh, we've been saying it wrong the whole time. We were saying it like ferret, bro. Oh, man. Why would you compare it to ferret? I'm sorry about that, man. Hey, Jarrett, what's up? My name's Jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

What's going on sounds like a lot of people are there right now yep yes these are the people of the morning radio show brooke and jeffrey in the morning hello hello uh what what's what's going on oh okay so that i mean he needed more than that jeff jeffrey's holding his hand out right now you can see him the crystals aren't working no they're. No, they're not. So we're doing something, Jared, called a second date update. Jared. That's what I said.

Can we just say Jay? Just call him Jare. Do you have a nickname, man? No. Honestly, I'm pretty lost right now. What's going on? You should be, bro. All right, sir. We're doing something on the show called a second date update.

That's where we help our listeners after they've been ghosted by someone after what they thought was a really great date. And so you recently went out with a woman who had a great time with you and now you've been a little bit difficult to reach. Her name's Melanie. Yeah, I do know Melanie.

Okay. Okay. Do you acknowledge that you've been difficult to reach yeah i guess i've been a little standoffish just a little so i mean she did say it's only been a week you know have you just been like too busy to call her back or schedule something i mean she's awesome like if you guys have talked to her you know she's got a great personality she is gorgeous oh she is oh that's awesome she's so high energy i mean she's super positive really high energy is kind of the vibe we got from her yeah that's great yeah and she's like into some cool stuff but um i don't really want to embarrass her in the radio so i don't want to like talk

about why i haven't been getting back to her it's's okay. Not a lot of people listen to this show, so you're not going to really embarrass her in front of anybody. I think what Jeff means is she's the one that contacted us. She's listened to these. She knows there could be something embarrassing. She's pretty open. I mean, that's fair. Okay.

Okay. So, again, I want to reiterate, she's great. But she mentioned on the date, she's really into crystals and that's cool. But she mentioned she doesn't shower or bathe because the crystals take care of that for her. Oh, no. Did she mean like a spiritual cleansing, not like an actual physical cleansing? That's what I thought at first until the wash of physical smell. Oh, yeah, you can't hide that.

You could actually smell her. Yeah, and like, again, great personality, beautiful. So like I wanted to get close to her, but she came over to like rub a crystal on my knee which i thought was really sweet i had to hold my breath guys and i hate saying that because because like i'm not trying to like make her feel bad it just it was not good i feel you bro i go to a lot of reggae concerts and i've met many men and women that smell it look just i know there's a lot of pheromones there's a lot of pherom's a lot of positive energy we work with a woman who refuses to shower a lot too I shower I'm just saying yeah Jared I know what you're talking about really really I'm just not

trying to identify Jeff's been holding his breath the whole time shut up I do not stink and so that that was the main thing for you Jared Jared. The smell was too much. Yeah, it was just too much. And like, you know, all things considered, I think she's a great person. But that really turned me off. But sometimes, sometimes when you're around a smell long enough, you get used to it and then you don't smell it anymore. What, like a fart? No, just like, you know, like if you're the only person that eats

garlic, right, it's going to be really pungent. But if everybody's eating garlic then you don't really... Yeah, you don't really take it in. I mean, here's the good news, Jared. I know you can't smell her right now because we're on the phone, but Melanie is

here because she's been on the other line listening and she does want to talk to you oh jared really it's the showering like that's the thing that's so silly to me that's like such a thing that we could fix oh okay i mean yes we can fix it but i don't want to presume that you would be willing to change if you don't like to shower. So I didn't know, you know, I didn't know if you were flexible on that. So Melanie, you're saying you're willing to fix this and you're willing to bathe for Jared? Not necessarily bathe, but what I can do is I can just go ahead and switch off what I use to cleanse my body.

But I had such a great time and I just think that it's such a waste that we can't just try to work this out. I wish you would hold on, Melanie. Hold on. So are you saying by, by change up what you do, you're just meaning switch crystals or do you actually mean get some soap and some water onto your body? Yeah. Cause you told me that the crystals cleanse your body, but, uh cleanse your body. They do. They do. And it's also, it's so unnatural to constantly be washing ourselves. So, you know, I mean, I can make adjustments, but I'm kind of surprised that that's where you're drawing the line.

What about soap crystals? Can soap crystals be added? Soap crystals. Like a Dawn crystal or maybe a Dove. Scrubbing bubbles. I mean, so melanie like your routine right now is just to like rub yourself down with crystals pretty much i mean i wash my hands oh that's good because obviously like i eat with them and stuff like that so it's not like i'm

totally a filth monger like where i'm just like not washing at all but when is the last time that you stepped into an actual shower it's probably't know if I want to know this. It's probably been about two months. And it wasn't like I took a shower. Like, if it's raining really hard, I go out. That's what Brooke does. Oh! Oh, my God.

Okay. Listen, that's not gross. That's Mother Nature cleansing me and providing my natural scent. Like, I don't see what's wrong with this. Well, okay, I don't think anybody's saying what's wrong with it. It's just that Jared isn't attracted to it. I really want clean living in my life, and that goes a little further than crystals, you know? That's fair.

I mean, I can use essential oils that could, you know, make it less. I guess you're saying that I'm pungent. I don't think I'm there, but I can do something with essential oils to kind of freshen myself up for a big date. Look, I am very sorry, but you are there. And I think if you wouldn't be willing to do essential, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just being honest here. You smellier than you realize.

And if you are willing to do essential oils, why wouldn't you be willing to use some soap and shower once in a while if you like me as much as you say you do? I just don't want to change everything about me for some guy that didn't even call me back for a week. So this is going downhill now.

Yeah, we went from fix it to now... No, we gotta get the positive crystal back out. Pull it back out, Melanie. It's in your right arm. There you go. Sorry, thank you for laughing, Melanie. Now that we have the happy crystal back in our hands, I want to ask Jared, would you be willing to go out on one more date with Melanie?

We will pay for it. I'm sure after two or three dates, you would actually get used to her scent. You might actually love it. I mean, no. You might want to bottle it and carry it around with you. Okay, let's stop.

Put it behind your neck. Hey. Guys, it was bad. I can't do it. I can't do it. She's not willing to pay. Back to my manifestation, find myself somebody that loves me for me oh you know and likes my sense so there's some hippie waiting for you

out there just begging for you right now oh yeah you guys are the best you made me feel better i know we're like a like a show in crystal form. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes.

More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel.

And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada,

to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry

plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. with guest appearances from Behind the Bastards

Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.