Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Dating Periodically

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

The woman in today’s Second Date says she has a ONE SENTENCE TEST that always weeds out weirdos on dates… You can hear what it is for yourself in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes,

we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Second date update. Most businesses want to have return customers

who keep coming back for more, like restaurants and salons, dentists. Of course. Yes. Not us. No, wait. Yes, we do. No, we like to be used and abused and then tossed aside.

Oh, no. Because the whole goal of this segment is to try and get people to go on dates that hopefully go the distance. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So that they don't have to come back to us because we're the last resort. We want them to end with us and go get married. Exactly. And if we have a return customer, that means something went wrong and it was probably Brooke's fault.

What? Yeah. Today, a guy named Eric has emailed us again for help. And this one's extra disappointing because Eric was actually on for an update update a while back. Oh, he made it so far. He told us him and a girl named Samantha hired a designated third person to go to concerts with them because they didn't like the same music.

Oh, I remember that. He was into like old music, like the Beatles or something. I think she was into the old stuff and he was in the new stuff, like 21 Savage. So then they had someone who would go with each of them.

Separately, but Eric is back. Eric, was it Brooke's fault? Hey, guys. No, no, no. It wasn't Brooke's fault. Okay. How long did that relationship last with the girl you were on with last time? It was a little bit over a year.

Oh. I still count that as Chuck's success. That's a solid relationship. Yeah, right. Well, so what happened with you and Samantha? Well, honestly, I probably should have saw it coming, but it was one of those nights where, like you guys said, we all, three of us went out.

Oh, no. And essentially after that night, I basically found out that she hooked up with our third wheel. Oh. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Sorry about that. Oh, did you hook up with him, too, out of revenge? Yeah, that'll teach her. Yeah. No, gosh. Yeah. Sorry about that. Oh, did you hook up with him, too, out of revenge?

Yeah, that'll teach her. Yeah. No, no. I mean, yeah, it kind of sucked, honestly, because, like I said, we went about a year, and I was feeling pretty... Okay, but you're back with us, which means you're back on the wagon. You're dating again, right? Yeah, yeah.

I linked up with a new girl. Her name's Carrie. Okay. Wait a second. First, you went out with Samantha. Now you're going out with Carrie. You're dating the whole cast of Sex and the City? Oh, I didn't get it.

I never watched it. Next she's going to be Charlotte. She's the one that stays committed, so we'll hold out for her. But tell us more about Carrie. Where did you meet her? Yeah, we met on Tinder. Went on our first date, but that's why I'm calling you guys because I haven't heard back after our first date. What did you like about her on Tinder, went on a first date, but that's why I'm calling you guys because I haven't heard back after our first date.

What'd you like about her on Tinder? Well, first thing was her Tinder handle was pretty funny. I actually loved it. Her handle? Good humor? Yeah. Okay, I didn't know you had those on Tinder. I'm not on Tinder, so I don't know.

I mean, there's no handles, but like some girls will use fake names. Okay, what was it? Yeah, it was soft apricot. Soft apricot. Interesting. Is that like a small peach type of thing where it's like maybe little booty? Is that what she means? Oh, Brock, that's smart.

I didn't even think of that. Does it mean something? Well, I never really got around to that because we haven't been on a second date. Oh, okay. That's not the first thing you asked. Just like a woman that mentions fruits. What was it like in person with soft apricot?

Well, it didn't go exactly how I planned it out in my head, but we started going out to a nice restaurant, obviously, on the first date. I don't think that's obvious at all. I think that a nice restaurant is setting the bar high on the first date. It actually is. You know, I've tried to do that. A lot of I don't think that's obvious at all. I think that a nice restaurant is setting the bar high on the first date. I've tried to do that. A lot of people don't

want to do something super nice on the first date. Too much pressure. What was her vibe at the restaurant? Well, honestly, we didn't really get the vibe too well because when we got there, it was just a bunch of fire trucks surrounding the place. We couldn't even

get in. Did you complain to the manager? you still tried to get seated the food is spicy here yeah the no smoking section that's so funny that sucks well yeah that's awful did you pivot what'd you do next so i took her to this other restaurant that i remember was not too far from there. Okay. And we were able to get a table. Sweet.

Sat down. And then, of course, our server comes over. He's like, hey, guys, by the way, we have a private party coming in at like 8. And so you got to hurry up and eat. Yeah, it was like 7.30. Oh, come on. They're already saying they're going to rush you out? Yeah.

Why wouldn't they tell you that before you even sit down, you know? I don't know. By the time we ordered, we would have had like 15 minutes to eat. Oh, no. So did you leave? Well, yeah. I said, hey, you know what? Let's just get it to go.

We'll go back to my place. Oh, smart. That's the pivot he really wants. I just think this stuff shows if people are actually fun or not Like when you have to be spontaneous And you're getting her back to your place It's kind of bold To say right away

Because you haven't even had a meal together yet Well I mean she did say yes She was pretty comfortable with it Hey great So how did things go back at your place Well I did mention that when we got our takeout food You know to go obviously i rushed that so it was cold it wasn't good yeah it just kept getting worse so i had to save the day and

i end up cooking dinner for us at my place wow good though that's nice man you throw some chicken nugs in the oven how many hot pockets one or A pepperoni type of, hopefully. I mean, by that point. It'd be faster. I'd just take it. You're just hungry. Well, I'll put it this way. She definitely enjoyed dinner, and let's just say she really enjoyed breakfast. Oh. Oh.

Okay. So you had breakfast for dinner. No, Jeff. A couple other events in between the meals. Yeah. Let's just move on, I guess. I'm never going to understand it. All right.

Just like next question, did you kiss? Wow. I mean, it's a good sign that she hung around for breakfast. She could have just snuck out in the morning if she didn't want to see you. Yeah. Is that the last that you saw her? Like, what's happened since then? Yeah, that was it.

That was the last I saw her. She hasn't really been responding to my messages and like i said i mean when she left the next morning we hugged we talked and she said hey well talk to you later and i was like oh this is great dang you must make an awful breakfast nobody could screw up breakfast these are over medium and i said over easy i'll never see you again maybe there's something like maybe like how long ago was that it's easy. You screw up breakfast, you know? These are over medium, and I said over easy. I'll never see you again. Maybe there's something like, maybe, like, how long ago was that? It's been about, like, five or six days, but I mean, I've texted her, and there's no response. Wow.

Wow. Well, the human body can go three weeks without eating a meal, so maybe she's just waiting for the next meal. She didn't eat that much, Jeff. Oh. It wasn't. I'm really confused. Let's just play a song song and we'll come back.

We'll get more clarity when we call Carrie for you. Yeah, I mean, hey, you guys worked your magic for me before. Hopefully we can do it again. Yeah, we're like his personal dating service. We'll do our best, man. Hold on. Second date update. You've heard of brunch combining breakfast and lunch.

Yes. But Eric served up dreck-Fist, the dinner-breakfast combo. Okay. Jeff finally figured it out. I don't think he did. I think that's what he said. I think he thinks that that was a meal. Oh.

Was it Brinner, not Drek-Fist? No, but that kind of sounds better. It was dinner, dessert, Jeff. Yeah, sounds like they were both snacking. Oh, wow. Sleep, and then breakfast. Eric, you can cook dessert, too? Good for dessert, Jeff. Yeah, sounds like they were both snacking. Sleep and then breakfast. Eric, you can cook dessert too? Good for you, man.

You must be a pretty good chef. I'd do okay in the kitchen. I don't think we were talking about the kitchen. I'm assuming they literally just ate meals the entire time and did nothing else. But anyway, the problem is after their date, Carrie is not calling Eric back again. And so we're going to do it for him. I mean, we did so well with Eric the first time. You were in, what, a year

and something relationship with the girl? Oh, you're taking all the credit for the year? I mean, yeah. I mean, sure, she cheated on him eventually, but we're not going to take credit for that. No, that was all her. Sorry to bring that up, Eric. Yeah, yeah, I hate cheaters. Yeah, sorry, I hate cheaters.

Yeah, sorry, buddy. Okay, let's just call Carrie and see what she has to say. Here we go. Hello? Hey, is this Carrie? Yes, who's this? She didn't sound like she was that sure she sounded very sure okay yes jeff maybe she's just skeptical of us calling terry that's the one what's up you're on the radio right now

with brooke and jeffrey in the morning why am i on the radio great question good question you're actually part of a segment that we're doing called a second date update we're trying to help out one of our listeners who you went out with recently named eric okay it sounded like a really nice night yeah sorry it's really weird i was expecting him to have a radio call me um well he wasn't planning on it yeah you haven't been hitting him back up so he just wants our help to understand what's going on because he knows you went to a couple restaurants that didn't end up working out. So you ended up going back to his place instead and he cooked for you.

Yeah, that was really nice. So you enjoyed that. His cooking was good. His company. What did you think? Is he listening to us? I don't want to say anything mean. I don't know who's listening. A lot of people could be listening to this? I don't want to, like, say anything mean. I don't know who's listening. A lot of people could be listening to this. To be honest, people know when they call into our show what this is all about.

So they're prepared to just hear it. Okay. Then, I mean, yeah, he was really nice. And he cooked really good food, I guess. That is mean. I wouldn't want to hear that either. No, that's good. I mean. Yeah. It was just like, I guess. That is mean. I wouldn't want to hear that either. No, that's good. I mean...

Yeah. It was just like, I don't know. There was something just like missing. What? A guy that can roll with the punches? A guy that can cook? What did you say, Jeff? Not enough salt?

No, Jeff. Sometimes you actually need vinegar, not salt to treat anything with cooking. Oh, that sounds gross. That's some acidities, right? But look, no, that's not the point, everybody. We're saying is everything sounds great. What's happening?

What was missing? It was like the, I don't know. There wasn't much chemistry, I guess. Why would you stay the night then? Yeah. Yeah. You wanted a good night's sleep? You had dinner and breakfast.

Oh, okay. So he told you about that? He just said he had dinner and breakfast. Oh, okay. So he told you about that. He just said he had dinner and breakfast with you. Yeah. Yeah, no shame. It sounded like you guys had a lovely night and you hugged before you left. Don't worry. Even if he tried, Jeff wouldn't have understood what happened.

Yeah, I'm still not really clear. All that I'm clear on here is that you're saying that there was no chemistry between you guys, even though you spent all that time together. Right. I i mean he was really sweet and i did enjoy our night but um i don't know the next day in the morning i don't know it's just like awkward the like chemistry wasn't there it's just really uncomfortable can you give us an example like what how is the chemistry off so okay i i have this kind of test that I do with a lot of guys to see, it's kind of like

a measuring stick to see if I vibe with them. Oh, come on, that's not fair. Don't say you bust out of the measuring stick. I use one of those too. I'm sorry,

but I can defend the frog. Very important tool of the trade, my friends. Not that kind of measuring stick. Okay, what do you mean so i i said a joke and he didn't laugh okay oh i hate that well if it's not funny sorry what was the joke everything can we know it was funny it is funny okay so i said did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium okay no i didn't hear it went okay because the chemical i wouldn't even know that oh and k so symbol on the periodic table is a k for potassium

science jokes was it your chemistry was off or your chemistry jokes didn't land both honestly and i i don't know i just feel like it was not clicking i need someone that didn't land. She was so literal. Actual chemistry. Both, honestly. And I don't know. I just feel like it was not clicking. I need someone that laughs at my jokes and likes science puns. Well, maybe it just took him a while to get the joke. And there's a chance that he finally understood. It may have finally clicked.

And we can ask him right now. Because he's been listening on the other line this entire time. I knew it. Oh, my God. Oh god oh look at that you are smarty pants yeah eric you there uh yeah i'm just just confused oh i thought i thought you'd still be laughing can you explain the joke to him so that he's not confused anymore carrie i don't think it's the joke i mean i get the joke now it obviously took me a second during the date, but... Okay. When I said I was confused, I'm just...

I don't understand that. She says we had no chemistry, but, you know, you stayed the night, and we had breakfast, and we had a good time. That just doesn't make sense. Yeah, but, like, that's just, like, hooking up. You don't need really... You don't need chemistry for that.

Oh! I mean, you don't. You don't need to stay for breakfast, then. I mean, I can understand that. Ouch. Okay. But we did have downstairs chemistry. Oh.

Bro, you're a little late on this one. I think Carrie's talking about, like, the mental stimulation, right? Carrie, like, you want someone that can go toe can go toe to toe with you in a conversation. Sure. But I think I think to keep up. I think Eric had a good question. Like, was the chemistry there in the bedroom? I mean, it was OK.

I get it. Oxygen and potassium. Back to that. All right. Not when you many jokes. Both you're losing. Yeah, the third or fourth time really hits hard. Okay.

That's just weird to me because I feel like we were vibing all night, obviously. We had some hiccups, but we were still there getting along. And I even changed my handle on on Tinder to little kiwi I mean no you didn't really is that getting you more matches wait I don't get it what is that what's little kiwi what what do you mean you don't get it you know to match your name soft apricot Tinder remember yeah you guys are both bruised fruits yeah i don't think that really matches those are just like two different fruits see this is what i'm talking about this is not like this is not wait a minute what's the joke behind soft apricot then if he didn't get it with little kiwi i'm just

like kind of soft and petite and cute and i don't know i just really like apricots and i don't think it's a joke yeah he's a little green especially when it comes to comedy hey there you go that was funny oh was it i was i was just saying words i'm glad they were funny and now that you, you know, we have the, I feel the chemistry happening now. I don't. I don't either. Well, let's just try. You do? You do.

At least in this room, we got the chemistry going. I'm seriously confused. So let's try it. Carrie, we'd like to send you and Eric out on another date and we will pay for it. What do you say? Okay. That's a callback. I like it.

I'm sorry, Eric. I think you're great, but I just it. I'm sorry, Eric. I think you're great, but I just don't think we're a match. I don't think we should go on another date. It's an N-O. Okay. I think that's iron. Isn't that iron and oxygen?

I don't know. It all just sounds like the dullest element. It's Boreal. Well, we've officially made this the worst second date update we've ever done. Did you guys not hear my borium joke? I did not even on the table. It is. Oh, for y'all. Nice.

All right. Okay. We all lost our chemistry. There's no chemistry in this room whatsoever. Oh, sorry. Okay, well, I'm sorry, Eric. We failed you. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

I guess I'll just try again and maybe stay away from the fruit handles or something. Yeah, take your name back. Hit us up again, bro. Things are going to turn out okay. Okay, it's the fifth time you say it. I thought I would try it. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Ugh, we're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.