Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Dumpster Dive

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

The guy in today’s Second Date described his date as “smelly,” “trashy” and a “gasoline-infused dumpster fire” and none of those descriptions are figurative!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. We got an email from one of our listeners named Joey, and Joey admits he went against our show advice even before the date happened, and he used a corny pickup line on a dating app.

Oh, stop it. Joey. On dating apps is where they're supposed to live. You know, sometimes the corny lines can come off a little bit funny, but we'll be the judge of that in just a second. First, Joey, tell us a little bit about the girl that you matched with. What's her name? Taylor.

Okay. I matched with her on Tinder. And what struck you about Taylor? I mean, obviously she's hot, but anything else? Well, she didn't have much of a bio, so that was really it. So it was just she's hot. Do you really need any more than that, Brooke? I don't know. I feel like

at some point, if you're scrolling so many times, there's got to be something else that stands out about somebody that makes you want to. That's not how dating apps work, Brooke. You don't get to know a person's personality just by their profile. I'm married. I know there's rumors that I'm on dating apps work, Brooke. You don't get to know a person's personality just by their profile. I'm married. I know there's rumors that I'm on dating apps. I'm telling you, if a girl's like, I have a

degree and this, this, and we don't care about that crap. Says the single guy in the room. Continue. You said you used a pickup line on her. Let's hear it. What was it? I said, I just saw the best upsexy ever. I already get it. And she it? So I said, I just saw the best up sexy ever.

And I already get it. And she replied, what's up, sexy? And I said, not much. What's up with you? Okay. How did she respond to that? She laughed. She liked that.

Okay. I got to say, my husband is the king of the what's up jokes. He does snooze. He does saponin. Yeah. And I even married him. So, I mean, it was really cute when we started dating. There's something to it.

So what did you guys do when you went out? So we went up to this Chinese restaurant. We learned about each other. She's kind of recently single. Okay. Just like a month. Oh, that's soon. Yeah, a little soon.

But I guess she dated some jerk, and it didn't really work out with her breakup. That's the best, though. They like the jerks, and they stay with the jerks most of the time. But that's the best for you, Joey, because it means that you're going to come off looking good probably no matter what, unless you find a way to really, really screw this up. Yeah, the bar is already so low. Right. But they gave us so much food and we had a ton of leftovers and she wanted to go get dessert. So we're on our way to dessert. We passed this dumpster.

I tossed in the leftovers thinking I'm never going to eat all this stuff. You threw away good leftovers? I did. I was like too full to the point of being uncomfortable. So I tossed it. Wait, why are you even bringing that up? Was it a thing for her? Because it would have been a thing for me. Yeah, this is part of the story. You just got to know that I threw this box into the dumpster. Instead of giving them to her. Okay.

All right. Interesting twist. She had her own food. So this is just my leftovers. Okay. So food goes in the dumpster. So we get to the dessert place and I'm about to pay with my card, and then I realize I don't have it. And it clicks. I left the card in the to-go box that I just threw out.

Oh, my God. How did the card get in the to-go box? He put it in there, obviously. Yeah, mashed potatoes. I'm just going to shove these in there. I mean, I'm hoping there was a bag. You were carrying it all in the bag yeah the receipt was in there my card was in there i just kind of forgot because you know i'm with tinder taylor so what'd you do so i told her and we went back to the dumpster that i dropped it into and yeah it was pretty dark at this point and I couldn't see the box in the dumpster

I'm laughing because I feel like this is karma for throwing out good food but okay yeah so I had to jump into the dumpster and dumpster die oh wow yeah uh but she was helping like she was all on board with me finding this to-go box in my card. And she's shining her light in there and like encouraging me to find it and everything. Well, at least she's helpful. I know. I probably would have just called and canceled the card and ordered a new one. No, Brooke would have looked in the dumpster and been like, ooh, somebody threw away some typhoon too. Grab it.

Nothing goes to waste in here. I just think it's kind of insane. You're dumpster diving on your first date. I mean, I didn't want someone to get my card and, like, go through all of the process of canceling and getting a new one, so... Yeah, waiting a week. Okay.

All right. So did you find it? Yeah, I did find it. What? Yay! It just felt like the right moment, and I could tell we were both feeling it, and we had our first kiss in the dumpster.

No, you did not. Wait, you were both in the dumpster together and that's where you shared your first kiss? No, she was like standing on this crate outside but I was definitely in the dumpster. Oh my god. Your first kiss is a dumpster kiss? Why is that so cute?

Come on. No, you don't. It's like Lady and the Tramp, okay? They were in an alley. There was garbage around. This is a dream come true for Idaho Brooklyn. Lady and the Tramp kissed by like sucking a spaghetti together. But still, it was dirty. They were literally animals.

All I'm saying is I think you turned lemons into lemonade. I think you took a bad situation and somehow made it romantic. She kissed him back. She liked it. Taylor liked it, right? Yeah, we were both into it. It was really nice. I walked her to her car, and I had to go clean up.

But before she left, we kissed some more, and it was really nice. See? Oh, okay. Taylor liked the dumpster kiss. Or she hated it so much she had to have another kiss just to erase the bad memory. So that's how it ended? You shared a kiss and then you went your separate ways? Yeah.

And I've been reaching out and she has not responded for, it's been like five days now. Huh. Oh, wow. Well, I think it's obvious. What do you think it is? It's the dumpster. Are you kidding me? What do you think it is? It's the dumpster. Are you kidding me? What do you think it is?

What a mystery. I wonder. They kiss twice after the dumpster. I feel like women want to have the memory of a romantic first date with a romantic moment as the first kiss, and it doesn't happen in a dumpster in an alleyway. You might have a pity kiss. Let's find out. We're going to play a song.

We'll come back. We'll call Taylor for you and we'll try and get you your second date update. All right, Joey. Great. Hold on. Second date update. You're just tuning in for the second date update. We're on the phone with Joey and look, we've heard some weird first kisses before doing this segment, but this one might be the strangest. I mean, you have to picture a cell phone flashlight, a little light romantic

music playing in the background while you're surrounded by old Chinese food inside a dirty dumpster. It's like my apartment. Do you smell that? That smells like love.

That was definitely not Chinese food. That chow mein is bad. Love mixed with Szechuan sauce. She was leaning over the dumpster. He was inside of it, covered in crap. And they Frenched. They Frenched in the moonlight. Is it making it better?

I feel like it's a perfect analogy for this year. Yeah. You know? I'm assuming, Joey, that you Frenched her. Or. Is it making it better? I feel like it's a perfect analogy for this year. Yeah. You know? I'm assuming, Joey, that you Frenched her. Or did you Chinese her? I don't know what the protocol is in this situation. What? There's some French.

There was some French? Okay. You guys are making fun, but I think you're right. Joey, I'm with you. I think it sounds romantic. Yeah. Okay? I do.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, Joey told us he had his first kiss with a girl named Taylor inside a dumpster because he tossed his leftover Chinese food into there and forgot his credit card was in the to-go bag. He was so happy when he located it, he kissed her in the dumpster. But now she's not calling him back, and we don't know why. Or do we? No, we don't. They kissed and did. This is going to be a weird question, but do you think she may have met someone else while you were in the dumpster? What?

No. It's a good opportunity. Some guy walked by cleaning the street? Who looked great? What's up, big boy? You picking up gum off the street? Get over here. You can only go up.

Only go up. But here we go. Let's call Taylor and we'll find out the reason that she's been blowing you off lately. OK, you ready to do this, man? Yeah. OK, here we go. I'm going to dial the number. Hello.

Hi, is this Taylor? This is Taylor. Who's this? Hi, is this Taylor? This is Taylor. Who's this? Hi, Taylor. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Do you have a second to talk? Excuse me, what's going on here? We're doing a morning radio show, and we're doing something called a second date update. Have you ever heard of that before? No, I have not.

Okay. Well, basically the idea is if you go out on a date with someone and afterwards, if they're not calling you back, you can email our show and we'll reach out to that person for you to try and figure out the reason why they're blowing you off. Okay. And so somebody emailed us about

you recently. About me? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, you've worked up a little. Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, you've worked up a little. Yeah. You know Joey? Yeah, I met Joey. Okay. Well, he told us about the date that you guys had. He says he

had a really good time with you. Did he tell you about the dumpster? Okay. That was the most memorable part of your date, right? Yeah, good or bad. It was something. Okay. Oh, come on.

Wasn't it kind of cute? He told us about how it wasn't his fault. He forgot his credit card was in the bag. He threw it away. You helped him find it. Brooke thought it was dumpster thriving more than dumpster diving. She thought it was great. What did you think?

I thought it was fine. See? It didn't bother me. I stand corrected. And what was that kiss like? Oh, I mean, you know, when he, like, went for it, or he was about to go for it,

I just kept thinking it smelled pretty bad, but... It's fine. But you wanted to kiss him, so... You know, I didn't know if I wanted to kiss him, but it was okay. Okay. It's not really a glowing review. But it's not a bad review. I mean, is that the reason you're not calling him back?

No. No, not really. See? Okay. Because he told us that after the dumpster kiss, you had another kiss later. We did. So why are you blowing him off now? Are you just waiting for the stink to get off of his clothes?

Because it takes a while for that to come out. No, you know, he did not text me for a really long time. And I just realized, like, he's not that into me. And I had plenty of other guys that were a little more eager. And I was swiping, and I ended up meeting three guys since. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. That's it?

It's been like five days? Yeah, he said it's been five days since your date. Is that right? That's correct. Wait. How long is too long for him to text back? I mean, he didn't text me back for 48 hours. That's two full days.

That's the sweet spot. Two days if you're on Tinder and you move on. I think two days is a little too long. I can see what she's saying. I just want to know how you fit three dates in the last five days. Like, that is some management of time. Well, Joey mentioned that she's hot, so she must be getting a lot of people wanting to go out with her. Did you match,

or did you actually go out and date? I've met three cents. Yeah, so you matched with someone new? No, you have met three cents. In person? Yeah. See? Well, see, you can't just put invest it all into one guy, you know, who's not getting back to you. You gotta spread yourself.

I mean, I say good for you. Do not say that, Alexa. How many times do we have to say that? Dude, I think that's fine, too. However you need to spread anything. I think it's totally cool. You know what I mean. Here's the thing.

If you liked him, I mean, even though you're talking to these other dudes, like, why don't you contact him back at all, though? Like, he's just totally out because he took so long? Yeah, because I think when you take that long to respond to someone, it's clear that you're not that into them. And I don't want to date someone who's like, I'm their second or third pick, you know? Oh, I think that's a miscommunication.

I'm just thinking like 48 hours, two days, that doesn't seem like very much time to give a guy. That's plenty of time. Just for a text? I mean, just for a simple text. He may have texted me after 24 hours, but he definitely did not call me until 48 hours later. Okay, so he didn't call within one day now.

It's a little much on my side. He needs to show a little effort. I can see it. She wants some effort to be seen, you know? You know, I just have a lot of guys that are interested right now, and I don't have time to just hang out with some guy I kissed near a dumpster. Good. Must be nice.

Good options. Yeah, Brooke is a dumpster guy. That's husbandry. Yeah. I know you have guys that are wanting to talk to you all the time, Taylor, but maybe you have a little bit of time to actually speak with Joey because I need to tell you he's been on the other line listening. He wants to talk to you.

Right now? Hi, Taylor. Yeah, right now. There he is. Oh, my gosh hi hi sorry i didn't call you sooner i just i thought there was like a three-day dating rule where you kind of let things move hey oh he's old school um maybe in like 2017 but yeah oh damn hey wait wait wait though i mean you gotta look at it this way taylor like 2017, but... Yeah. Oh, damn. Give us the times.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, though. I mean, you gotta look at it this way, Taylor. Like, he was so into you that he actually called us for help to get a hold of you. I mean, that's how into you Joey is. If he was really interested, he would have called you guys sooner. Oh, so we should be mad at him, too. Maybe the night of, he should be calling for a second date update. Like, as soon as you get into the taxi and leave. Joey, tell her, tell her how much you like her.

I thought we really hit it off. I was just trying to be polite and like not come off too eager and don't want to overwhelm you or anything. I really like you. I don't think it would be overwhelming to call a girl before two days. Yeah, that's how it works. I don't know, though. Like, you go out on Monday, he texted you in that time period.

Like, that's enough, in my opinion. It sounds like you... Just chill for a second. It sounds like you want a clingy guy. I don't want a clingy guy, but I don't want there to be question marks. The longer it takes to call, the more time you have to overthink on it

and just cancel him out. Well, that's on you. That's not on the guy i just said something i find it kind of ridiculous that you have this rule and like i didn't know about it i didn't know if you wanted me to call or text or what your time period was i just was out of the loop on that are you questioning me right now about how I'm getting my dating life because remember I'm very good looking is that good for you Joey does that turn you on a little bit or is that something that is I mean I could play the needy guy I just didn't know that's what I needed it's a role play now so Joey's still into it. Well, in that case, I would like to send the two of you out on one more date.

To the nicest dumpster in town. We'll pay for it. All right, I'm there. Sure. Wait, that was a yes right away. But you didn't respond quick enough, Taylor. It took you two seconds to respond. So I'm going to take that as you're not that into him.

Stop giving me a hard time. Joey, just so you know, I do have some more dates lined up for the coming week, so it wouldn't be until next week sometime, but I would definitely give you another chance. You're putting him at the end of the list? Well, yeah, I'm not going to break off a date with somebody else. And he's on the list. Jeffrey, what do you want? I know.

Good God. That's so much. Okay, Joe, are you cool with that? Yeah, I'll take it. I mean, I guess it is what it is. But, I mean, next date I'll call you as soon as you're walking away. That's a good idea, Joe. That's funny, but don't, like, actually do that because that's kind of pathetic.

It's a fine line, Taylor. Brooke and Jeffrey in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast. Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.