Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Early Bird Sees The Worm

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

One of our listeners definitely crossed the line in OVERSHARING, and while it wasn’t on purpose it did cause the most embarrassing 5 seconds of his life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts.

The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think a lot of people listen to our show, which starts at the butt crack of dawn,

and they think, oh, well, they must all be morning people. Ugh, gone. No, I want to make this painfully clear. Just because we work on a morning show does not mean that we are morning people. No. We slog through these hours in complete and total agony, just like the rest of you. And slog is actually a nice way of putting it. Yeah.

You think we whine on air? You should listen to what happens in the studio off air. But today, we actually have one of those types on the phone. Oh, chipper, aren't they? Who, for some weird reason, enjoys waking up before 11 a.m. Oh, my gosh. His name is Neil. Neil, what is wrong with you?

I just like getting up in the morning and starting my day off right. Oh, my God. I had a roommate like you once, Neil, and it was terrible. She'd be doing dishes at 7 in the morning. Oh, this is the worst. Baking pots outside. I'm like, stop it. I'm going to go on a run.

I'm like, don't come back. So, Neil, why? I'm so mad at you. Why have you emailed us for help? Who are we calling? Okay, so I need you to help me out with this girl that I met online. Her name's Erinin okay okay and she's also a morning person wait two people under the age of 50 who actually like getting up in the

morning how did you find each other amazing well that was one of the things that sort of attracted me to her because we met online and one of the things i was looking at on her profile was said that she was a morning person and i was like thank god you know she likes to get up earlier than i do actually hey it's a good pair seriously yeah they say time means everything there's someone out there for everybody so what did what did you and aaron end up doing well we decided to go on a breakfast date. Of course. Oh, God. That's kind of cute. You lean into it. I like it. We each had a 4 a.m.

Yeah. And this is kind of where the problem was. We set the date at 6.30 a.m. Oh, my God. That's not far off. It hooks my head to think about it. Dude, a girl is waking up and doing her makeup before 6.30 in the morning? Oh, my goodness.

Well, she was totally up for it because she gets up and goes for a run at like 4.30 a.m. So it's like actually in the middle of the day for her. In the middle of the day? Yes. Is this lunch? It's like two masochists going out with each other. Okay, so how was your breakfast date? So we showed up at 6.30 and the cafe didn't open until 7.

Oh, my God. So you're just sitting outside the door. Those lazy cafe workers opening late. What are you going to do, though, for a half an hour? Well, we decided to go on a little walk. And we were just kind of walking and talking just to kill the half an hour time or whatever. And about, like, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes into it, I had to go to the bathroom. Okay.

And luckily, my place where I live isn't that far from the cafe. So I asked her, like, is it okay if we go back to my place and I just use the bathroom real quick? She's like, yeah, that's fine. No problem. What? You don't just go into the alley and do it on the wall like a man? I think that's illegal.

Yeah, it is. I mean, legal schmeagle. I've done it so many times. Not a good look either, right? Yeah. Sure, I'll give you that. I go into my apartment complex, and she gets in the elevator. I didn't ask her to come upstairs with me, and she's just kind of following me.

So I was like, okay, whatever. Yeah. So I'm in the bathroom, and I'm doing my my business and I ran out of toilet paper. Oh, you needed toilet paper, which explains why you couldn't do this out in the alley. Now I get it. Oh, yeah. I forget for dudes. For dudes it's a little different.

But that sucks. What are you going to do? Yell to her like, can you throw me a roll? Exactly. I didn't want to yell at her. Hey, can you hand me some toilet paper from the hallway? So I decided to run out into the hallway and get it, which was a bad decision. Oh, bro.

What did you have, like, pants around the ankles, shuffling around? Yeah, exactly. Oh, are you a child? She's in your apartment. Well, I didn't think she would be able to see me. And I thought she was like sitting in the living room, which is away from any sort of like where she could see it. But she's up walking around and I walk out of the bathroom and I'm there with my pants down. We make eye contact and it's super awkward.

And I could just tell from the look on her face that she thought i did it on purpose like i'm the kind of guy that like sort of just zips down his pants and just like hey what do you think like i'm not that kind of person you flashed her by accident yeah do you say anything in that moment what do are you doing? No, she just turned out and left. And, like, I had the story into the bathroom, obviously, to finish up. You're, like, bunny hopping it. Like, hurry, wait. Wait, she left?

Yes, and I texted her. She didn't respond. I went down to the cafe. She wasn't there. So she thinks I'm some weird pervert. Oh, no, dude. She does. I mean. It's a total misunderstanding.

It's really weird that that exact situation has happened to me, but like 10 times. And I've actually hooked up after every single time. Wow. That's because it was at night, not in the morning. It's the morning part that makes it creepy. That AM totally ruins it, bro. And you were still in the alley. Oh, yeah.

Well, you know, right place, right time for me. Oh, my God. But that is terrible. I bet you feel awful. Well, it's a very embarrassing situation. Yeah. But it's worth it for me

to go through this again because we vibe so well. And even though we didn't spend a lot of time together like that, 15 minutes that we were talking like was really really quality and i could tell that she's a quality person and i hate for this to happen over like a mistake yeah you finally found your morning person and you blew it all right we're gonna call this quality lady for you aaron um in just a minute here but first pants up or

pants down no for this call where are we going with well i mean we're on the phone so it doesn't matter but we're saying it matters it matters i can tell he's keeping his belt buckled i mean come on we've learned our lesson that's your decision we're gonna do it with your second date update right after this second date update We've all heard the saying, early morning bird gets the worm. But I don't think that is the type of worm that Neil's date had in mind. Oh, boy. Because before their breakfast date, he and Aaron stopped at his place so he could use the bathroom real quick. But there's no toilet paper in there.

So Neil made the decision to shuffle out pants down to grab a roll in the hallway. I mean, we've all been there before. We can understand that. The teepee shuffle. We've all done it. And that's when early bird Aaron got an eye full of morning worm. Oh, my gosh. And this is a good learning moment.

Brooke, what should Neil have done instead in that moment? God, use a washcloth and throw it away? Ew. I mean, that's a better solution. I mean, I could just hop in the shower or ask for help. Hop in the shower? You're saying, no, a washcloth is much more logical here. Neil, does that make sense to you?

Yeah, I mean, I guess, but it's just all a misunderstanding. You know, i was i already had taken a shower anyways like i was gonna go back in i'm sorry i would leave too oh for sure yeah well that's not what we're talking about we're trying to get him another date here because yeah i would have probably run out too it's a funny explanation if she believes it if she buys it because she may think that you did it on purpose as a way to come on to her. Let's find out. That would be the dumbest way to come on to a woman ever.

Just saying, we've heard dumber on this show. Yeah. Anyway, let's talk to Erin and see what she has to say. I'm going to dial her number right now. Hello? Hey, is this Aaron? Who's calling, please? My name is Jeff from a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Hi, Aaron. Hey. Okay. We're a morning show, and we hear you like the mornings i do we knew you'd answer do you ever listen no sorry that's okay um there's you have to be happy in the things that are actually productive for herself but um we're trying to be productive right now and help out one of our listeners that you went out on a date with recently i see a date that from what we heard didn't go that well that that's an understatement actually went terrible um actually happened technically his name is neil oh god yeah that's an appropriate reaction yeah yeah we uh we spoke

to neil a little bit about what happened honestly, we don't know him that well. But we always try to give the person that calls in for help the benefit of the doubt in these situations. Neil is the reason that I don't date online anymore. Okay. Oh, no. I deleted the app, and I'm all done. You know, that's totally understandable. It makes sense from what we've

heard. And I'll just tell you what we know because, you know, he told us the story and I'm not saying this is exactly what happened because we've heard a bunch of these calls before. And sometimes they're not always telling us the full truth, but can I, can I tell you what we understand happened on your date? Sure. Why not? Okay. So what we know is that you met up to go to breakfast it was closed so you took a walk and had to stop off at neil's place real quick so we could use the bathroom which it was either number one planned or not to be corny number two who takes a dump on a first date i mean oh can't you take care of that stuff before you leave out? Okay. I'm with you on that one. The part that seemed like the biggest problem to us was when he said he came out of the bathroom trying to grab an extra roll of toilet paper and didn't expect to see you standing in the hallway.

Yes. Oh, is that what he said? Is he lying? I don't think that that's true. Nobody comes out of the bathroom, pants around their ankles, standing there with their arms, you know, on their hips proudly. Are you saying that you've never done that before?

Wait, hands on hips? Yeah, what's that? What do you mean? He was like a Superman pose? Superhero pose. And he made direct eye contact with me. That's not a duck waddle to the storage closet for a roll of toilet paper. That was a different stance altogether.

It was completely creepy. I just, I don't know. I don't believe him. Was he standing and posing with his hands on his hips or was he in the middle of doing the Macarena? That's not funny, Jeff. It's a good morning dance. Oh, come on.

Or was he trying to cover up, like his hands could be by his hips because he's about to cover up his, you know, incident. There was no coverage. None. Oh, my God. And you know what? There was no shame on his face either. Okay.

He said when we talked to him, he was so embarrassed. He said he was in shock because he did not expect to see you out there. I mean, maybe if that's what shock looks like, I don't know. Oh, my God. So you, I mean, from your description, it does sound like he did it totally on purpose. I mean, hello. He's a guy and he met me online and he got me to go back to the apartment, which was stupid. There's got to be some like middle truth here.

I mean, is there anything that that we missed is that the whole thing the awkward moment in the hallway well the only thing that we didn't discuss is he was groaning he was making these weird groaning noises i think he was in the bathroom for some other reason i don't know when he was in the bathroom he was groaning or when he was standing with his hands on his hips when he was in the bathroom, he was groaning or when he was standing with his hands on his hips? When he was in the bathroom. Stomach's upset. Oh, yeah, get out of here with this guy. Nope, I have the ink.

Get away. These are two sides to the same story, so let's see if we can get to the truth because I have to tell you, Aaron, Neil is on the other line listening right now wanting to talk to you. Oh, here we go. What is wrong with you people? That's a great question. I'm sorry. Neil, what the hell? Hey, look we go. What is wrong with you people? That's a great question. I'm sorry. Neil, what the hell? Hey, look, everything, this is just a total, total misunderstanding, okay?

Just please hear me out for a second, okay? First of all, I didn't invite you to come upstairs with me in the first place. If you recall, I said, hey, I'm going to go back to my place and use the restroom real quick. And then you just followed me. I thought you were going to wait in the lobby or downstairs or something like that outside. I didn't say, hey, why don't you come up to my place? All I said was, I'm going to run back up

to my place and use the restroom. And you came with me. All right. That's a checkmark on Neil's category for telling the truth. That feels like you're blaming her. It's your fault for coming up. Come on, Neal. Well, no, I'm not blaming her for coming up, but, like, I didn't intend on her coming up in the first place.

I mean, it was total misunderstanding. It wasn't like he set it all up is what he said. Yeah, and why would I, like, why would somebody go and use the bathroom if I was trying to do whatever it is that you thought that i was trying to do why would i go to the bathroom first i mean that's just disgusting maybe you had to freshen up why would i tell you i'm going to use the bathroom then that's no like yeah we already knew that he took a shower in the morning so he was as fresh as could be yeah i know but why are you standing with your hands on your hips?

I think I was just in shock that I just, I was frozen and I don't know like where I put my hands or anything, but all I remember is just seeing you seeing me and I was frozen. I have, I have at least four or five points in Neil's category. I want to give Aaron a chance to talk, Aaron. Okay. I don't know who point boy is and it doesn't really matter to me. Okay, that's another point that I'm going to award to Neil just for the answer. You just keep giving him points, as many as you want.

The fact of the matter is, no matter what his intentions were, I've already seen everything he has to offer, and I'm not interested. Yeah. Oh, that's real that is not fair because i i actually have gotten compliments before and it's it's a look that that's another thing too i wasn't even and what do you mean compliments before you do this often you're just standing naked in front of people to be judged. Oh, no. Okay, I think we need to know what was the temperature on the thermostat inside your apartment that morning.

I keep it at 68 in my place. Oh, that is a brisk temperature. We keep it at 69 in this studio. And it's cold in here. It doesn't matter. After seeing that, it's not going to be attractive. And there's just too many, like we're just concentrating on the wrong thing here.

If you wanted to get him a date, I think it's not the size that matters. It's the intention. I've never heard you say that. Yeah. And I've got a paper full of check marks and points for Neil. And so I want to ask you, Erin, would you like to go out with him one more time? And we'll pay for that date. Oh, sweetie.

There's just not enough money there's not enough money in the world it's not money it's gift cards how many gift cards will it take i think i should charge you just for this conversation oh neil how you doing man this this sucks dude oh honestly it was totally a misunderstanding keep your spare toilet paper underneath the bathroom sink like every other human This sucks. Dude, honestly. Sorry, man. Totally a misunderstanding. Keep your spare toilet paper underneath the bathroom sink like every other human being. And tie your bathroom things better. Just go in the alley like a man.

Hands on the hips, of course. Absolutely. Power pose. That sounds messy. That's how we do it. Okay. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year,

New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes.

More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want.

And you know what? We love that for you someone else will too be more you this year and find them on bumble john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1.4 billion dollars in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.