Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Escape Room Alpha

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

The guy on the phone today ended up SCREAMING on his date, but not for any of the good reasons you’d expect. Find out why in your Second Date Update podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Ever. We hate tests, guys. It's never good. Come on. And today is the absolute worst. Yeah. It's so bad. It's so bad.

You're going to hear it in just a moment. But first, for all of those that checked out the weekends podcast, we have been hosting our full show one episode every Sunday. Yeah. And it sounds like people are positive? Yeah. They are. Okay. Positive question mark.

I mean, I'll read the positive one. That's for sure. Yeah. Tristan said literally been skipping this episode for the last couple days because it was too long. But literally the best one hour of my week. There you go. Because our full episodes are one hour long. They are, yeah.

It's a lot of us. We get it. And then someone else said, Jeffrey totally wanted this posted so we'd all know it was his birthday. And I realized we did repost Jeff's birthday. If you want to hear Jeff's birthday show, just go to yesterday and listen, okay?

But right now, brand new second date. We're going to love your comments after this one. I promise. It starts right now. Second date update. We cover a lot of trends on this show in weird dating terms, like breadcrumbing, Darth Vadering. Oh, what's that one? That's where you battle your own son to see who gets to kiss your sister.

I do not like that one, that's... Can we not do that one ever? It's big on the East Coast right now. There's definitely some weird ones out there. And one we came across recently is called the Alpha Challenge. What's that? And I think our listener might feel. fit underneath that umbrella

because she admits she likes to test men whenever they go out on a date. Okay. She says she feels like maybe she crossed the line this most recent time. So let's welcome to the show, Mallory. How you doing, Mallory? Hi, guys. I'm okay.

Oh, my God. I'll tell you, we've never had a dating test that hasn't failed on this show. Yeah. Every time someone is like, I'm going to test them. Like, it never works out. Yeah, or it backfires. Like, it works. Absolutely. So you said maybe you feel like you cross the line.

Why don't you start by telling us the name of this guy that you met? Okay, so the guy's name was John. And we met online, and so many men's profiles, they try and act like their houses. Like, they do the big fish thing. Like, I'm such a man.

And it's like, if you've got to do the big fish, I don't know if you really all. Okay. Wow, I've never heard a girl say that. There's a lot of guys are offended right now hearing that. Women hate the fish pictures. Really? Yeah, who are they for?

They're only for you. These are only for you. Okay. Well, you don't get to split any of our fish then after we come and cook it up. That's all for us. I'm sure you know how to filet a fish. My housekeeper Lucy does, and that's all that matters. You should see your fillet out.

Are these the alphas that you're talking about, just like Jeffrey? That's exactly. Okay. Anyway, back to this guy, John. What was his deal? John did have his humongous fish picture. And I was like, all right, you look kind of manly. so I'm thinking like if this is legit

if he's anything like this like we're good we're probably going to make out well here okay yeah that too she's a fan of this yeah you were yeah yeah total fan total fan and so far first date he was like let's do an escape room

and I've done those before I've done those with guys on dates and I think you see a lot about a person because there's all this problem solving and puzzles and you really get to see yeah it's a good chance for him to show off all of his Alpha skills in order to escape you from the room? Yeah, like, let me see what you got. Okay.

So we met at a bar nearby first, and he walks in, looking real good. He's beefy, he's tall, and I was all about it. Okay, so he's like a man's man, and you're totally digging it. Totally digging it. So I figured, okay, how do I test this guy? Like, how am I going to figure out if he's really an alpha in this escape room? So we went to the first room, and he actually supposed to. surprised me because it was like this kind of creepy room.

And he's like, oh, I recognize this place. I think my ex lived here. And I was like, okay. So he's funny too. Okay. So he's funny too. Okay. Yeah, exactly.

So that could go either way. Are you funny or can you own it? So then we go to the second room and there's this like closet thing. And so he goes in and I just close the door behind him and I locked it. Wait. Whoa. Whoa. What?

You locked him in a closet? I locked him in the closet. And I'm like, all right, this is the purse. test. Can this man be a man and get himself out of there? I don't know. I feel like it's a red flag if a guy can pick a lock. Yeah. No, I think I'd be like, this man knows how to be a man. I think I would have dug it. Okay. So what happens? So he's in there like fumbling around for like about 10 minutes. Oh, my God. Wait, what was his mood? Was he getting angry at you?

At the very beginning, he was laughing. He thought it was a joke. But as the minutes went on, he was not as playful. He was. I'm sure it's getting hot in there. I also imagine what the person who's watching your room is thinking. Like the employees watch you to give you clues. Yeah. I don't know. A real alpha would have taken out his fish from his pocket,

picked the bones and turned them into a key and unlocked the door. That's the kind of man I want. Yeah, exactly. I see what you're coming from. Wait, did you feel bad at all? Not at all. I feel like this was a really solid test. And I feel like I gave the guy a really, you know, like an opportunity to prove

himself so I think I was doing a good thing and then the guy that ran the escape room he like walked in he's like is everything okay in here yeah he's like you want me to unlock it and I'm like no no no no this was the whole test I can't let him out and we're wondering why he's not calling you back well hold on hold on how does the escape room experience end did he figure it out so we gave him a few more minutes and then I let the guy let him out and he was super salty you know what it's fine because at that point I already know like we're not a match

this guy couldn't get out by himself so he's not for me anyway Yeah this is confusing then Well so wait so then we leave And I'm like okay can you just take me home And he goes no Why don't you go Uber yourself home? Yeah I mean yeah

And I was like That's my kind of man So that once he wanted me to take my own Uber And he didn't want driving home I was like that's the alpha man I'm looking for He stood up for him So he finally took a stand against you there.

This is so strange to me. It's like you push him to a brink and then he finally pushes back. And that's the type of relationship you're looking for. On the first date, he was able to muster that energy. You know, why waste the time? Let's see exactly how we click. And now I know he's the kind of guy I want. Wow.

That's an awesome red flag. It's one of the fun ones. This is going to be an interesting. Like, I mean, we obviously know why he's not calling you back, right? He's probably annoyed, and it's probably an awful dayday. I mean, we think we know why, but we won't know until we call this alpha directly and ask him, what's going on between you and Mallory? Oh, man. Is it going to be like alpha v. Alpha, Jeff, with you and him on the phone.

Is it going to be really hard? I mean, I think we just let this alpha shine first. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's good. You'll be able to tell when the two alphas square off. Who's the dominant alpha? You can actually hear in their voice who has more chest hair.

Be careful, Mallory. You might get a little bit too turned on when we come back. Oh, wait a minute. Ultra Alpha, second date update. Coming up right after this. Second date update. If you're just joining us for the second date update, Mallory knows what she wants.

That's right. She wants to date a real man who can pass her alpha test and prove he deserves to go out with her. And her test for John, was to lock him in the closet of an escape room and told him a true alpha could figure out a way to get out of this, all on his own.

I think you should have just dropped him in the middle of the woods, 50 miles away, and just seeing if he found his way back to you. I'll be back in a week. That's a good option for date two coming up here. Give it away. Because the thing is, John did not figure out a way out of that closet.

He mostly begged and complained the entire time. Did not find the challenge fun. But his shining moment came after the escape room when she said, hey, John, why don't you give me a ride home? And he said, no, you get Nuber. Yeah. Alpha move.

Maybe not exactly like that, but... Well, something along those lines. It was enough to convince her, oh, he really is able to stand up for himself, and now she wants us to call him. That's what she liked. It actually, like, turned her on. I think all of this is going to be shocking to him. Yeah. I mean,

I would personally feel like if I got locked in a closet, it would be because they didn't Like, Mallory, do you think that John is going to be totally shocked when we're reaching out to him right here? I mean, I get it. I mean, he's definitely not happy with me right now after everything that happened. But what I didn't get to tell him is that he did pass the alpha test, just not in the way that I initially intended. Did he know an alpha test was happening? Yeah, he may have had no clue that he was being tested at any point.

He just thought you were being you. This would be good news. Look, at this point, I've only seen him do that one thing. And that one thing was great. But, like, there's a lot more to show if he's truly alpha material. But he earned the second change. There's more tests ahead. Of course.

Yes. And this call is going to be a total curveball to him, too. So let's see how he handles it in an alpha manner, hopefully. Yeah, hopefully. He points up on us. She is just going to be so excited. Go back. I'm going to be excited, too, if that happens.

Uh-oh. I'm ready for the alpha off. I know. I'm ready. Here we go. I'm going to dial up John's number. Let's see if he answers. Hello.

Hey, is this John? Yes, it is. Sounds so pleasant. Hi, I'm Jeff. This isn't what I was expecting. Hey, man. Yeah, man. Hey, no.

Excuse me, I'm talking right now. This is the show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. You're on it right now. Um, okay, why? That's a great question, John. Yeah, uh, the reason is because we do this segment. It's called a second date update where we try to help listeners get in touch with people again after they've gone out on one date and aren't getting a follow up for a second.

Hmm. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Okay. So, um, recently you may or may not remember this, but you went out with a woman, uh, named Mallory. Oh.

Yeah, I did. Okay. I can't wait to hear how this date went for you. Because we are baffled why you aren't calling her back after their first hangout. A lot of sarcasm in Jeff's voice. So hold on. You don't know anything that happened? Well, we know a few things.

You know, I don't want to give everything away. But I understand it's probably not your typical first date that you've gone on. No, getting locked in a clock. Laws it, not at all. Yeah. Oh, if you went right to that? Yeah, I mean, that's kind of the whole thing, right? Yeah, that was not pleasant at all.

I experienced the roller coaster of emotions during the lock-in. I bet. At what point did you realize she wasn't joking? Probably after the third time, she banged on the door and said, hey, dummy, are you, did you figured it out yet? What? Whoa. Those words?

I'm pretty sure that's about what she said. Yeah. Oh, okay. Would you say that this whole locking in the closet thing? That was the main reason that you're not calling her back? I mean, yeah. I mean, we argued about it. I just, I honestly, I just wanted to get the heck out of there.

I think we all can understand why you would feel that way. But I will say on the other side of it, sometimes when two people spark like that, that could be a sign of a good thing. Am I wrong? Sparks the word. I mean, I don't know if sparks the word. Yeah, right.

Passion. Okay. At any point, did you want to kiss her? That's, I think, what Jeff is getting at. I mean, I might have thought about it in the beginning. Yeah. But after I heard that the third or fourth, did you figure it out yet? I was done.

Yeah. I don't think anyone blames you for that. Look, not every woman is going to challenge you like this on a first date. Some women just sip wine. They want to be showered in compliments. And this woman is pushing you to be the greatest man you can be. I don't know that you're here. him, Jeff.

I am. I don't think he is. There's a tiger inside of you waiting to be unleashed. Yeah, you're an owl. And I'd like to open the cage right now as we tell you that Mallory is on the other line wanting to talk to you. Oh, wow.

I bet this is. Yeah, no, she is. Oh, my, no. We had her locked on the other phone line. Right. Well, I mean, she deserves to be locked somewhere. Well, I've unlocked that door. Mallory, you're out.

Hi, John. Hi. Well, look, first of all, I just, I want you know, I really appreciate that you took the call and that you're here to talk. This is almost like getting locked in the closet. I was forced to. They called me. Yeah, sorry. Okay.

Well, listen, John, that whole thing was to kind of just see, you know, if we click and see what you're made of and see if you have that kind of alpha energy that I'm really looking for in a man. And when you told me to go get an Uber. when you wouldn't drive me home that was the biggest turn on the way your voice that's so serious you like you had this authority no yeah and at that moment

seriously John I would have done anything for you that turned you on me telling you to get in an Uber and me walking away turned you on you are very sick lady did you just call me very sick John yes oh no yeah he did and he said it with that deep husky

of his. You know what? That's exactly what a non-alpha would say. That's all stigma right there. You're a follower. You don't even own this, okay? I thought she's going to like it. You don't like to be bad-mouthed. Is that what you're saying? You're going to bad-mouth me. You could do a little bit more than sick. That was sick. That's so stigma. You can't even come up with more than that. Okay. Nice. Challenge issue, John. Go harder on. Okay. So if sick isn't. the right word than demented, twisted, maybe? I don't know.

But this is me. And if you don't like me, you don't have to. Okay. No, I don't. And you know what, John? I should have trusted my instincts when you couldn't get out of that closet because you know what else you don't know? I hooked up with the escape room guy.

What? What do you mean? That's not a flex. Yes. When is exactly the right question. When John left me there to get my own Uber, that guy came out and that guy took advantage of the situation. And he is the kind of alpha I was looking for. Oh, Astor. That's a real man. He saw you lock a guy in a closet and liked it? Apparently, so there are men that are

alas actually out there. And that's stupid. Like Jeff. The 20-something working part-time is the escape room is the alpha that you're looking for. Yeah, that's the alpha she's looking. That's the alpha she deserves. Mallory, did you just do this whole thing to use us so you could tell him that? No, I mean, I'm giving you that one more shot to truly be an alpha, but you just don't have it in you. This is crazy. I don't think that he's upset by that, Mallory. Of course he's not, because he's not in alpha. So he just shuffles it in, and he doesn't stick up for anything because you're not strong, buddy.

All right. Well, you know, like I said, this is me, and you don't do that. Yeah, stigma. Again, not the insult. You know, you know what, lady, I really don't appreciate. you labeling me because I am who I am. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, John, are you telling me what to think right now? Because actually, that

that's kind of doing it for me. What? Okay. Tell me what to think. This is a roller coaster and I want off the ride, Joe. Yeah. Get me off the ride. Hold on. I'm staying on. Can John get off the ride as well? Well, hold on. We can't get off until I ask you, John, would you like to go out on one more date with Mallory and we would pay for it?

Absolutely not. Wow, that was a true alpha move To turn down free gifts like that Final test said and done Yep, so not an alpha Totally could have seen that coming, whatever Okay Wait, what was the final test?

This? I don't know. Please stop asking questions I'm not sure if I can follow the logic either We just set him up We just gave him the freaking ball To go run with it and he just dropped it Once again

I don't know what we were doing I don't know that I don't want to be on this I guess now that only leaves one alpha in the room As there always was, Jeff. Oh, are you talking about me? Oh, I was looking at him. That wrist action on the growl really didn't help.

Brooks. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. No one can resist a rule of culture. So here's one for the dating files. Rule of culture number 72. Chemistry isn't just vibes. It's values. Because what's the point of matching with someone

if you can't talk about the shows you binge, the books you dog ear, or all the hot takes, you'll defend it brunch? I mean, you definitely have friends who have met their partners on Bumble, and it makes sense. It's not just about matching with someone. It's about finding someone who gets your references, your obsessions, your whole vibe. With shared interests and prompts, you don't just see a profile. You get a glimpse of someone's personality, which makes it even easier to start conversations that actually lead somewhere.

Plus, with photo and ID verification, you can trust that the person you're talking to is real. With that added piece of mind, it's so much easier to show up as your full self. So whether your rule of culture is, the best first dates start with the shared hot take on Renaissance, or compatibility as having the same hometown bodega order, download Bumble and turn those connections into something bigger. Download Bumble and start your love story. Hey, it's Ed Helms and welcome back to Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw-ups.

On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode. 32 lost nuclear weapons. Wait, stop? What? Yeah. Ernie Shackleton sounds like a solid 70s basketball player. Who still wore knee pads? Yes. It's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of guests. The great Paul Shear made me feel good. I'm like, oh, wow.

Angela and Jenna, I am so psyched. You're here. What was that like for you to soft launch into the show? Sorry, Jenna, I'll be asking the questions today. I forgot whose podcast we were doing. Nick Kroll, I hope this story is good enough to get you to toss that sandwich. So let's see how it goes. Listen to season four of Snap-Fu with Ed Helms on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Some people just aren't a good match, even when you try over and over and over to force it.

It just doesn't work out. That is a big lesson for you, Jeff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a big one. You know, got to learn it at some point. Not yet. Is there a man that isn't frightened of her, though?

The escape room guy That's the good point That's because he knew where the key was Yeah I can just lock her in the closet too Yeah But a lot of people are texting in at 78592 Saying she didn't really want to go out with him at all

She only did this to get revenge and brag About making out with escape room guy Which is that even a brag? I don't know I think it makes her look kind of bad I've made out with plenty of escape room employees And usually they aren't lookers Oh

That was kind of an insult to them But there's a reason they choose to work in dimly lit basements. Oh, wait. The front desk is very lit. Usually not in an actual basement, Jeff. Whose basement are you in? Where are you going? He's never done a room.

Wait, I meet him on Craigslist. And they say I have an escape room? Is this not how it works? I think he's going to people's houses. Yeah. Nope, you got to figure it out. Keep doing that. I'm doing it right.

And if you enjoy basement stuff, you can check out the basement of entertainment, which is our podcast. You can find it all the way down at the bottom at Brooke and Jeffrey. Johnny Knoxville here. Check out Crimeless, Hillbilly Heist, my new true crime podcast from smartless media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players. It's the true story of the almost perfect crime

and the Nimrods who almost pulled it off. It was kind of like the perfect storm in a sewer. That was dumb. Do not follow my example. Listen to Crimless, Hillbilly Heist, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's Ed Helms host of Snafoo, my podcast about history's greatest screw-ups.

On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode. 32 lost nuclear weapons. Wait, stop? What? Yeah, it's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Shearer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan, Klepper. Listen to season four of Snafoo with Ed Helms on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get Podcasts.

Two rich young Americans move to the Costa Rican jungle to start over, but one of them will end up dead and the other tried for murder three times. It starts with a dream, a nature reserve and a spectacular new home. But little by little, they lose it. They actually lose it. They sort of went nuts. Until one night, everything spins out of control. Listen to hell in heaven on the I-Hodagh.

Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People called them murderers. Ten years later, they were gods. Today, no one knows their names. A group of maverick surgeons who took on the medical establishment who risked everything to invent open-heart surgery. Welcome to the Wild West of American Medicine. I'm Chris Pine, and this is cardiac cowboys. If you like medical dramas, if you like heart-pounding thrill, you will love cardiac cowboys. Listen on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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