Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Ex-Aversary

Episode Date: January 31, 2025

The guy from today’s Second Date Update said he got a text that completely BAFFLED HIM considering how good his first date went. You’ll hear about the weird message he received coming up in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. One point four billion dollars in NFL quarterback contracts, the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, vice president of client strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host

Brian Murphy, Athlete's First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tula Tunga-Vaioloa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athlete's First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much.

And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast. We all have a moment that splits us wide open.

On my new podcast, Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, I'll sit down with trailblazers from sports, music, fashion, entertainment, and politics to explore their toughest moments and the incredible comebacks that followed. Listen to Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, an iHeart Women's Sports production on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, you found us. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning on our second date podcast. Not like, is that hard to find these days since we're charting on the top comedy charts

every week on Spotify. You're welcome. I go to bed every night and I just stream it on 5,000 different laptops. Oh, you're the one that's doing it. That's how we're getting there. Yeah, I'm sorry guys, but I'm tired of those ratings. All right. Hey, thanks for being here. And don't forget, we do have 45 more minutes of this painful show.

If you can endure it, over on our main feed, just go to Brooke and Jeffrey for that one. But right now, let's get to what you came for. That's the second date. Yes. Second date update. You know the picture you see on someone's dating profile, compared to what they look like in real life can be vastly different

Oh, yeah, just look at Jose in his passport photo, which hasn't been updated in 27 years Wow Doesn't make any sense still he still has his baby teeth in his passport picture No, I was like in my like early 20s But they make you take a picture and send it in every time you... Okay, I'm not gonna go down this road again. The point is, the photo compared to real life can be very, very shocking and different. And really that first moment when you finally see your date in person can be huge.

Yeah. Apparently that was the case for one of our listeners, Kendrick, who needs our help today. Kendrick, welcome to the show. How's it going guys? Okay, it's either your date was a good surprise or you were the bad surprise. Yeah. We want to tell us about this woman that you met where you met her. I thought it was a good surprise. Well, we matched online. Okay. And what's her name? Danielle. Danielle. Okay. So before we find out what she looks like, what did her

dating profile look like? Oh my gosh, she was gorgeous. She had all the right lighting, the right pictures, all that. The right lighting? Oh man! Oh my god, I'm dead. Okay, no way she's gonna look like this in real life, right? Oh, so you were even doubting it before you met her. Right! Okay, set the expectations low for the in-person meetup.

And this is kind of funny because there's two things They either look really good in their profile There's no way they look like that in real life or some people look way better in person right like you see their profile Oh my gosh like you look better in natural lighting. I know that is what it's like hanging out with me, so What did you do for your date Kendrick? Where'd you guys go? So we chose the meetup and we went to one of those big malls that, you know, have restaurants, shopping malls. Oh, mall. Oh, okay.

That's very old school. Right, so we were gonna walk around and then eventually grab a bite. Cool, you were there, but I wanna know about the moment when you saw her for the first time in real life, because that's the whole thing, right? Yeah, I love the pictures. You were shocked.

Why were you shocked? Yeah, run us through that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I got there first. So So she walked in five minutes later like right after me, right? And oh my god, I was like BAM. She looked like she just stepped out of a TV commercial She was off inside effect. Yeah Give you two lawyers 800 What do you mean like a TV commercial? Well, you're not like a model, but I mean like she looks like somebody who could be like running on a beach You know in slow motion promoting yogurt

She just had a TV commercial glow Okay, yes So it was a good first meeting then how did the rest of the day at the mall go? So we're walking around the mall I had a big smile on my face because I knew people were looking at us thinking how did that guy get hurt? Oh, and you like that? Wait, sorry, you said you were making a lot of jokes Yes, like we went to one of those places that sells hats. Uh-huh. Yeah, I said her, you know

Like 90% of these hats have head lights in them. That's not a joke, my friend. Wait, what? What? That is a serious fear unlocked. What is the joke? Well, I don't really think it's 90%. I just made that up because it sounds funny.

The joke is it's 21%. Oh. Oh. Did she laugh or was she disgusted? Yeah, was she disgusted? She's right confused. I don't understand. Like, We didn't get it. She probably didn't get it. She laughed. It was more the uncomfortable laugh, but she laughed a little bit. She at least knew you were trying to joke.

She laughed as she slowly put the hat back. So, okay, you're making jokes, you're comparing her to TV commercial ladies. You should be in a headlice commercial. You gotta call her to TV commercial ladies I'm calling her you'll play princess What did you and you'll play princess do from there Finally showed up at the seafood buffet, but we had to put our names in because there's a lot of people there So there's a little bit of a wait Good wait for it. I was a gentleman, I pulled her chair out,

I gave her compliments. Good, nice. I walked her to her car afterwards, gave her a kiss. Oh, you got a kiss? Got a kiss, you know? Nothing major, just a small little kiss. Okay. But the next day, I get a weird text that says,

I can't frickin' believe you, I don't date low life. See ya. Oh! Wait, what did it say after low life? Is her name? She said, see ya. See ya. Oh! Wait, what did it say after low-life? Is her name? She said, see ya. See ya. Like bye, oh God.

Well, I don't know what she's talking about. I tried to call her, but she sends me straight to voicemail every time. So I'm turning to you guys to try to figure out where I went wrong. If she has head lice and is blatantly gay. Oh, no. Oh, Brock, no.

Oh, my God. I didn't see any head lice when I got the kiss Oh, no. Oh, my God. I didn't see any head lice when I got the kiss. I don't know. I don't know. That's how you check. What a weird thing to say. I can't believe you. Like, I don't date low lives. What could you have done? She has a piece of information. I don't know what it is if she found something out. If she saw

something. And here's the thing. You have to know before we call her. It's not going to be good if she's calling you a low life Maybe something she misunderstood I don't know I'm not liking the tone of you'll play princess right now, so we're gonna find out She sounds more like go-gurt goddess Wait, goddess is still good I'll think of something funnier Oh, Danimals! I love those Oh, a Danimal! She's acting like a dainty Danimal Oh my god We'll figure out what's wrong with this yogurt girl when we call her and get you your second date update right after this

Second date update Yo play princess Dancing around the beach With her crown and television cameras following her all around. That wasn't the date that's just what played in the head of our listener Kendrick when he saw Danielle for the very first time. She was TV commercial pretty. They walked them all together almost got head lice trying on hats.

Okay, that was just a joke he made, Jeffrey. It was funny and they ended up at a seafood buffet, had a really, really nice time. It all sounds great, but since then, the only communication he's got was a very troubling text from Danielle. What did her text say again, Kendrick? I don't date low lives like you so see ya It sounds bad, but I've sent worse text to my mother before So there's a chance there's a good shot of redemption Did we hear did you respond to her no? I just tried to call her but oh, she just sent me the voicemail

immediately. You didn't like like it or anything. Okay, yeah, let us do the dirty work for you. I feel you man. So now we're gonna try again. See if she picks up. I'm gonna dial her number right now. Here we go. now here we go. All right. Hello. Oh. Why did you go? I don't know, because she's not going to want to talk to us because of that text.

Oh, God. That made me the sigh. Hey, is this Danielle? Who? Who's on the phone? Good morning. Hello. Yes, the whole radio show is on the phone right now,

eager to talk to you. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in is on the phone right now, eager to talk to you. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I'm a little nervous to talk to you, Danny. I'll be honest. Why aren't you guys calling me? Good question. We do this segment called a second date update. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that.

But it's where we help out our listeners who went out on a date with somebody, and they're not getting a second one To try and figure out why something went wrong if there was a mistake that happened We figured there must be some sort of thing that went wrong Yeah, based on the text message that you sent to our friend Kendrick the other day. Yeah Oh God was not hard to decipher. Yeah Well, I would call you this I don't want anything to do with him. So I don't yeah, I think that that's clear I think he's just totally confused as to why yes

Well, I don't like people who go through my personal things and make me feel uncomfortable Yeah, I'm not sure what exactly you mean by that I don't know what he's told you or whatever happened, but he was in my business, like literally in my bag, my wallet business. What? What? What? How did he go through your, yeah, your purse, your wallet?

What do you mean? I had to use the restroom. So I asked him if he'd hold my stuff for me. Were you seated already at this point or is this while you were waiting? Oh, yes, he said there was a way. He said there's a long wait. Well, we were waiting. I had went to the restroom. Oh, while you were waiting, you were like not in the room.

I mean, maybe lobby or something. Gotcha. OK. So my purse was only out of my possession for a moment. But I think that's when he went in my bag and smacked my stuff. What stuff? Well, you're now accusing's when he went in my bag and smacked my stuff. What stuff? Wait, now you're accusing him of stealing something from your bag? Well, it surely isn't there anymore,

and it sounds minute, but for me, it's the principal. What did he take? My Jamba Juice card. Oh, like a gift card? He took a gift card. A gift card? Oh, what? Was it loose, or was it in your wallet?

It was in my wallet, right in the front of my wallet. So why is it in my purse to even go in my wallet? Did you see him go through your purse and take your card? Or are you just assuming that? Because you were in the bathroom. I don't have to, because how is not going to jump out of my wallet? I don't know.

I do things all the time. I swear things can jump out of places. It's so weird to have such a specific thing be stolen. Like if he was going to steal from you, it'd be like, I don't know, a credit card or something. And why would he call us to get you on the phone? Hello, that's what I'm trying to figure out. He doesn't know that she knows. Okay.

And you don't know that he knows that he's been listening on the other line of this phone call the entire time waiting to talk You know what I mean? Yeah, sorry he's been on the other one listening if that wasn't clear Which I mean you need to tell him, like... Well, first of all, Kendrick, what were you doing in my purse, and why the hell would you take my Jamba Juice card? I don't like having my name dragged through the mud like this so I'll be able to defend myself or say something.

Why don't we anybody say it? So say it. Yeah. You're not saying you didn't. Yeah, are you saying you're innocent, that you didn't take it? Well, no, I mean I did Kendrick While in steal from her and then wonder why you don't understand you don't

I Needed it for my ex oh you're like you couldn't connect this that's a weird statement dude can you explain I was gonna give it back or reimburse her on the next day, but she wouldn't answer my calls Can we ask yeah, why are you giving gifts back to your ex-girlfriend? Well me and my ex we aren't together, but we still celebrate our anniversary. We call it a ex-aversary. Excuse me? I'm glad there's no strings attached to this guy. So you, what? You stole the gift card? For your ex.

I borrowed it. So here's how ex-aversary works. So we give each other a gift card, or a card, and it's like, no hard feelings. Hope you're doing well. Okay, I don't know that we asked for all of this. So you figure that it's fine for you to celebrate your ex by taking from me and I'm not even with you yet? Like you don't see anything wrong with that.

You were at the mall, you could have bought anything. Yeah. Why? I mean, because your friends that tight, you probably should not have been going out with me, Kendrick. Yeah, you sound like a pickpocket or something Why are we even going through a person her wallet? Yeah, well our

anniversary was later that night so she was taking forever in the bathroom right I was bored you were shopping inside of Weird I was working with a grack. Oh my god, how does this get worse the more he talks? This is so weird. Oh my god. By the way, I think you're lying because your height on your license says that you're 5'6". There's no way that you're lying. Oh my god, you're a liar. You're a liar.

You're a liar. She's a liar. OK, they're both not perfect people. I think we can agree. She is a perfect woman who belongs on a yogurt commercial on television. She lies on government officials. The people in commercials tend not to be as tall as they appear on TV

That is a fair point. She is awesome. Listen, okay. The good point is Kendrick is very detail oriented because he looked at her license He made sure that she is who she said she is. I don't like that he's memorizing the info on it. I don't like the thing in my bag bro, like this is so, ugh. Yeah, she's definitely got it in the bag. Kendra, it sounds like that was a violation going through her stuff and then. Sounds like. Yeah.

Wow. I borrowed it, I was gonna pay her back. Okay, we're just gonna back away because now that it's all out in the open, you can talk to Danielle and apologize or say whatever it is that you wanna say to her. Like chemistry takeover. Try to win her back here.

Danielle, I'm sorry. I got the Exaversary day mixed up. I forgot it was later that night and I hadn't gotten her anything. So okay Violate you I didn't want To life for that How much was that gift card worth can we reimburse her for the job? Brooke it's not Danielle's ex-aversary. It's Kendrick and his exes. So that's not fair. The only thing that's fair to do is to offer Kendrick and Danielle a second date paid for by us.

Oh, you're out of your mind. And a gift card. I won't give her a 12 foot pole. Yeah. Okay. Danielle, that was the most appropriate response ever Kendrick wants more gift cards Yeah No Kendrick's up for it. All right, so Danielle that's a no from you. No, okay

Absolutely. No, you know what we never heard is whether or not his ex was excited about the gift card Kendrick how did the gift go she She liked the job with you, so that part worked out. Oh, there we go. What the? I love the happy ending on this one. Good work, Kendrick. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Oh man, exaversary is a new term that I did not know about.

That is not what we're concentrating on here, Jeff. How many years do you think it's going to take before Webster's picks that up? Yeah. They've got yeet in the dictionary. Exaversary needs a spot in those pages. Jeff, how long does an exaversary last? The lifetime or ten years? No one is doing this. No one is picking that up, Jeff. Text in anniversary celebrators. I just still can't believe he was baffled when she called him a lowlife But she went through her things for a good reason

For ex love yes It's a good reminder to reach out to an ex and tell them no hard feelings and I have a Jamba Juice gift card And if you also need some help with your dating life, we can step in and do that for you. Call that person who's not calling you back. By the way, you can go check out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcasts on Apple, on Spotify, all of it at Brooke and Jeffrey. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend, Jon Stewart, and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts, the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the

Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host, Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tula Tunga-Vaioloa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athlete's First Family podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and batter than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network The orgies of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday.

Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast.

We all have a moment that splits us wide open. On my new podcast, Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, I'll sit down with trailblazers from sports, music, fashion, entertainment, and politics to explore their toughest moments and the incredible comebacks that followed. fashion, entertainment, and politics to explore their toughest moments and the incredible comebacks that followed. Listen to Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, an iHeart Women's Sports production on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.