Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Factory Fail

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

One of our listeners says he planned a surprise experience for a first date and it went off the rails as soon as they met in the parking lot! You’re gonna hear what it was in a brand new Second Date.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts,

to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. We've had a few reoccurring guests come back on the show for second dates. Oh, yeah. Like recently, we've had Roofer and Matt Mann come back a second time around.

Why do they always have good nicknames? Yeah. Really good ones. Today, we have another guy with not a cool nickname. It's Mark. Oh, Mark. Oh, man. I mean, just a slight disappointment to our show. But he's returning to the Brooke and

Jeffrey stage one more time. And in his email, he said that he's actually learned his lesson from the last time he was on with us and made a major life change because of it. I can't wait to hear what it is. I don't even know what it is yet. But first, I mean, welcome back to the show, Mark.

Thank you. I mean, I would like to say I remember everything about you, Mark. But what were you here for last time? Don't call him forgettable, Brooke. Well, it's just his name is kind of generic. I mean, that's why it was easy to remember the other dudes. Maybe he changed his name. Maybe that's the big life change. What is it? I Maybe he changed his name. Maybe that's the big life change.

What is it? I didn't change my name. My name is still Mark. Okay. But you may remember the last time I was on your show, I told you about how I went on a date to the Sriracha factory. Yay! The Sriracha dude.

I totally remember that. Yeah, that was cool. What happened there? She gave me a hard time because she saw that I drove a Nissan Leaf. Oh, that's right. And she said it was like a reflection of your manhood or something. Yeah. So the thing that's new is to avoid making that same mistake,

I switched cars and got a pickup truck. And now I'm a manly man. I can hear the testosterone coming through the speakers right now. That's right. What are you doing? Why are you listening to her? She wasn't right. Well, I'm learning women are really superficial,

especially with the online dating, you know, arena. You know, I want to make a great first impression right away, or it's just over. You know, you just get judged judged and then they move on. Okay. So now did you change your dating profile to just you and the truck? Yeah, yeah. And in one, I'm actually standing on top of it.

Wait, there's multiple truck photos? Nice. Oh, yeah. I have a bunch. Just dominating that six-cylinder vehicle. What are you trying to attract right now? Because who did you go out with? I can't imagine.

You're clearly not on the online dating thing. She's not. No, but Alexis is, and she backs me up on this one. It's bad. I mean, Alexis is just looking for guys with big boats, so. Yeah, true. That's totally a different category. You could have 27 pictures of a boat,

and she would be like, swipe right, and don't even see the guy. Yeah, but not wrong. But, Mark, so tell us about the girl that you ended up matching with. Who's she? She'd have 27 pictures of a boat. She would be like, swipe right. Don't even see the guy. You're not wrong. But Mark, so tell us about the girl that you ended up matching with. Who's she? Yeah, so I guess the pictures worked with Chloe, who was really cute. And she complimented my truck pic.

Oh. You're looking for deep conversation. Okay. Yes, we started talking about cars and food. Okay. Nice. So where'd you guys go out? What'd you do? So another lesson I learned from last time,

I'm not taking her on some Tapatia condiment tour. We go to the Heinz factory. It's a variety. What did you do? So I took her someplace, you know, a little more manly. A monster truck rally. No, no, no. Hey, that's a good one.

I'll write that one down. That would actually be a fun day, to be honest. Where'd you go? We went to a hot dog factory. No, you didn't. Why did you end that with factory again, Mark? Do you learn nothing? You took her to a wiener warehouse?

Like, why would you do that, bro? And who wants to know the process of making a hot dog? That is the secret that nobody wants the answer to. Hold on. Let's hear them out. Maybe it's more fun than we're jumping to conclusions. Tell us about the hot dog factory. Well, I was thinking that the people at the factory wouldn't go into so much detail.

Ew. But they take you in the back area and they show you the whole meat process and honestly, it's kind of gross. Yeah. And then you sample

afterwards like, mm, a little snout in that one. Delicious. Hold on, what did Chloe think when you two

were touring the factory? What was her vibe? it was pretty easy to tell that she was horrified and disgusted by the whole thing. I can't even believe she said yes to that date.

Okay, I did tell her that we were going on a surprise factory tour, but that's all I said. Oh, yeah, big surprise. So she wasn't even mentally prepared for it. So I realized it was a bad idea, and I wanted to say, like, hey, let's get out of here. But the tour guide was kind of persistent and he's like you're the only ones here you can't leave yeah all right well let's let's just get out of the factory I mean did anything happen after the factory or was that the whole thing well we decided that after all that we both needed a drink and so i walked her over to her car and she was going to follow

me and we were going to go to this mexican restaurant that i knew the chalupa factory no no no no that's not that's not funny excuse me sorry where'd you go too soon well after that i saw her take a left and then i thought it was a mistake but then I think she just bailed that's a bummer have you tried to reach out to her yeah I tried to reach out to her and yeah I haven't heard so I don't know what's happening I mean you kind of know what's happening I can't believe you thought what's the most manly thing sausage you're a very literal man that was a good idea I don't know okay we'll see what Chloe thought when we call her and get your second date update right after this, all right? All right.

Hold on. Second date update. We're in the middle of a second date update with our listener, Mark, who told me in his email that even though he's been on the show with us once before, he'd rather not return again for a third time after this. Oh, no, regardless. We're going to have to be some miracle workers then right now. I'm going to tell you that. I don't blame him. He's looking for the one.

And yes, he's made some adjustments in his life because if he didn't hear, he went from owning a Nissan Leaf to driving a gas guzzling man truck. I think it's got a hemi in it. That's not why women are... Okay, keep going. He also upgraded from a condiment factory to a 100% no-beef hot dog factory for his first date. No beef?

We're talking about the main course. It's interesting that he keeps picking factory tours. Yeah, that's what bugs me. Mark, do you have a thing for factories, or what's going on there? I'm interested in them, yeah. Okay. You learn something, and it's an activity. I guess on paper it checks the boxes.

Maybe just go on your own time. Remember, didn't they do that on Sesame Street, like how things were made forever ago? You go to the crayon factory or something. See? Yeah, you know, I just got bored of watching stuff on YouTube like this, and I just wanted to see this in person. Yeah, you're right. Well, it's nice to have an activity to do together on a first date,

and the thing is we don't know a whole lot about your date, Chloe. We just heard a lot of what happened at the factory. True. And I personally would like to get to know her. You would? She's great, you know. She's super cute, but just please don't date her. Yeah.

It did sound weird when you said it that way, Jeff. Like you were like, I don't want to get to know her. Anyway. We're just going to call and see what happens. You know, there's a lot of positives going for you. I think a simple apology that the hot dogs were a bad idea. That's all it's going to take. Unless she loved the hot dogs, in which case you wouldn't need to.

She didn't show up at the bar to meet him for a drink afterwards. Maybe she got lost because her car is not a manly truck. So let's just call Chloe and see what she has to say. Here we go. I'm going to dial her number right now. Thank you. Here we go. Hello?

Hey, is this Chloe? Yeah, speaking. Hey, Chloe, what's up? My name's Jeff from a morning radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay, hi. Welcome to our show. You're on right now. I'm on the radio right now?

Yep. Tour of a radio show right now. Pretty cool, huh? I don't know. Why are you calling me? I'm calling because I want to get to know you, Chloe. And I'd just like to ask you a question. What's your favorite homemade dessert? Are you more of a cobbler gal or a strudel mistress?

Oh, strudel. Wait, you're calling me to ask me dessert questions? Apparently that's Jeff's get to know you. Opener. Just want to get to know a little bit about you because we have heard some interesting things about you from one of our listeners. Oh, really? Oh, yes, really. Nothing about dessert.

It's definitely more main course type of deal. A listener you went on a date with not too long ago named Mark. Oh, okay. Yeah. Didn't get a great reaction there. Yeah. Quite a date you went on with Mark, wasn't it? Yeah, I don't know what he told you, but

it was pretty weird. Yeah. Mark told us that he took you to a hot dog factory, which I know there was a little bit of judgment in the room, but I want to give him a little bit of credit. He put forth some effort?

Not a lot of people are doing hot dog factory tour dates these days. I'm not going to say that there's probably a reason for that, but sure. Chloe? I think he's a renaissance man. I mean, he said it was a surprise. What did you think when you pulled up to the hot dog factory? I was surprised.

I hope you weren't a vegetarian or anything. He did check with you beforehand. No, no. Although, I might go that route after being with you. That's tough. Feels like a natural transition. Well, meat slime doesn't do it for you. Well, I mean, the reason that we're calling is because this is called a second date update,

and we're trying to help Mark understand what went wrong. And what he told us is that you guys had a plan to meet up and have a drink together, but you got lost on the way to the restaurant or the bar. I don't think he said lost. No, no, I was not lost. What? I'm shocked. I mean, I will say, Chloe, that's not very cool, though,

to say you're going to meet up for a drink and then not show up. Is there a reason why you didn't? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So after we finished with the tour, he said, hey, let's go have a food and drink somewhere. And I know this place where if you tell them you're a teacher, they give you a free burrito. Nice. Oh, my God.

Was he joking? I love that. He did not seem like he was joking, and I thought that was super shady. Like, you're going to lie about being a teacher for a free burrito? There's no excuse for that. Yeah. All kidding aside. Really?

So if he hadn't said that, you would have probably met him for a drink. It was just maybe that was the nail in the coffin. Oh, yeah. I could have gone for a drink at that point but i just do not want to be associated with people like that yeah it's like a character thing like teachers are one of the most crucial jobs in the world and they're so underpaid like they're just being completely selfless and taking advantage of that i was not stealing the burritos from the teachers you you know? I mean, I don't know what the requirements are for these burritos.

So, like, if we do get these free burritos, maybe we are taking them from some other teachers that are free and underpaid. That is true. I'm guessing Mark would know what the requirements were to get the free burrito. And we can ask him about it because he's on the other line right now wanting to talk to you, Chloe. Oh, my. Seriously? Yep. Mark? about it because he's on the other line right now wanting to talk to you chloe oh my seriously yep mark are you kidding me that that's the reason why you didn't i mean yeah no i'm not kidding you lied about being a teacher like what kind of low-life selfish idiot does that well hold on hold on a second i doubt mark actually followed through

with going and getting the free burrito. Right, Mark? You didn't go through with it. Well, I mean, honestly, yeah, I got the burrito, free burrito.

Oh, my God. Did you have to wait? I was really hungry. I left a big tip. I was going to say, why didn't you tip him? You got samples at the hot dog place.

That made you hungry? Yeah, but nothing beats a burrito, you know? Okay. I mean, he's right. We can all admit. Did you just straight lie, or how did you get the, I mean, did you have to show, like, a fake ID? You know what? I don't feel like being judged for this right now.

I did it, and it worked, and I got free food. So, hey, everyone's got a hustle, right? All right. I'm not really a hustle. I think, Chloe, I'm just reading the room here. I don't think we think this is that an egregious of a lie. He wanted to get you some free food for you, too, on your date. Like, that's a nice thing, right?

No, see, why is he not paying on a date? He still cares about you. It's cheap. I think it's cheap a little bit. But, you know, like, it's creative. It's it's cheap a little bit. But, you know, like it's creative. It's resourceful. Kind of funny. And when it comes down to it, aren't we all teachers in some way?

Constantly learning and teaching each other things? You guys do learn a lot from me on a daily basis. You know, I couldn't agree more with you. I help my niece with her homework sometimes, with her math homework. Oh, that counts. Wow. Yeah, I mean, not this year, but like, you know, a couple years ago or whatever. Oh, okay.

Back in the day you did. I think there's a five-year period where it counts, so. He's a teaching veteran. Yeah, you're still in the window. When she hit second grade, it got too hard. This is making it worse, Mark. You just need to apologize. Yeah.

I mean, you do. Chloe, he's pretty honorable. Yeah, honorable. He's an honorable man. Don't you agree, Chloe, he's pretty honorable. Yeah, honorable. He's an honorable man. Don't you agree, Chloe? I don't know. Lying, like, it's not a good look under any circumstances, but, like, on a first date, and you're not going to pay for our meal, and, like, I don't know.

What else are you going to lie about just to save a buck or for something else? You know, I don't know. Is he going to say he's a veteran so he can get a discount on his insurance? You know? Well, I don't know what insurance company you're talking about, but you don't technically need to be a veteran to get that insurance.

Oh, can I get that insurance company too, Mark? I am. Mark. Jess is going to be living for free after this phone call. I'm a veteran teacher and a surgeon. Mark, I think you owe Chloe just an apology, okay? What am I supposed to apologize for?

A free burrito? Here's the thing, Chloe. I can get you a free burrito, and you won't have to lie about anything. That's true. Because we'll pay to send you guys out on another date. Free burritos on us. Yeah. What do you think? I'm not interested, no. That was pretty quick. But Chloe, he drives

a truck. You're not going to find a manlier guy than this. Yes, thank you. I appreciate you having my back. Oh man, bro to bro. And by the way, Mark, what kind of perv takes their first date to a hot dog factory? Did you think that was going to make me want to sleep with you or something? What?

No, I mean, I just thought it was interesting to learn. Did it teach you something, maybe? Because I'm a teacher. Okay. I'm a teacher. Still holding on to that one. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,

which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea,

host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction.

You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine.

A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.