Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Finding Nemo, Losing Date

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

The guy in today’s Second Date is wondering if the surprise he prepared on the first date was TOO MUCH, and now wants our help to reconnect with the woman he might have scared away!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. As a guy, I can think of a lot of qualities that men might be looking for in a female companion. Okay. You know, someone who's sweet.

Yeah. Who likes to laugh. Oh, that's a must. Didn't hear any laughter from the ladies in the room. That's interesting. It's just you and me. Women like people who are funny. Yeah, we likes to laugh. Oh, that's a must. Didn't hear any laughter from the ladies in the room. That's interesting. Women like people who are funny. But extra toe, wouldn't say no to that.

You never know when you need a really good back scratch. Just toss that foot in there, mama. Get to work. You know what they say about guys with 11 toes. They got the extra claw. Maybe the number one sexiest quality a woman can have from a guy's perspective

is somebody who is low maintenance. And apparently, from a guy's perspective, I know the ladies aren't going to understand that. I like a little high maintenance. No, yeah, Jose loves high maintenance. That's your perspective, but okay.

Apparently, that's what one of our listeners, Eddie, found recently from his date, who in typical low-maintenance fashion is not calling him back. That's really low-maintenance. I apologize for her actions. I do not think they're warranted, okay? No. You haven't heard anything about his date yet. I am already on Eddie's side.

Okay. Good, Eddie. How does that feel, Eddie? That feels really good. Oh, my God. You guys are like bro-bonded or something right now. Where'd you find this low-maintenance woman? So we met online on one of those chat sites, you know?

Okay. Lowmaintenancegirls.com. Is that what you're trolling right now, Jack? Yeah. Sounds like a gold digger site. They're on like once a year. You can only catch them. You gotta be on there all the time.

But Eddie, what's this low maintenance woman's name? Melanie. Melanie. Okay. I mean, did you know from the beginning that she was someone that, I mean,

that you were looking for, right? Well, you know what? I really liked on her profile. It said that she was low that i mean that you were looking for right well you know what i really liked on her profile it said that she was low maintenance so that that was a gem for me so i was like you know what prove it oh no that really sounds like you're high maintenance when you say that eddie no no so i asked her i asked her you know, do you want to do a fancy cooking class or play? She said, we can, but that's not really her thing.

Good. So she passed your first test. She said, literally, if you want to grab food and just watch a movie in the back of your car, I'm up for it. In the back of your car? On your phone? Where are you going to watch the movie? Definitely had to be creative. Okay. I decided to test it.

So we ended up meeting in one of those parking lots outside one of those outdoor malls. Yeah. This all sounds so sketchy. Are you really going with the backseat of the car idea? Yeah. I mean, I had to test it. Okay. That's why she's not calling you back.

She actually came? Yeah. She showed up. She gave me a big hug, and she did look like her pictures. That's great, but did you ever warn her that this was actually the date that you had planned? I wanted it to be a surprise. No. No, surprises are typically good things. Like, you put thought into stuff.

Look, I like her already. I love low maintenance. But I think she was saying it as a joke, bro. And low maintenance doesn't mean you don't want to have someone that's thoughtful. Yeah, at least whine and dine. Well, I don't know. We're already getting all judgmental. We should figure out what happened when you showed her what the date was.

Yeah, so I said I had a surprise for her. I took her to my car, opened the back door, and then right there, there's three big bags of Wendy's. You know, I was being thoughtful. Oh, nice. Spicy nugs, dude. And then I had Finding Nemo playing on a portable DVD player. Bro, this is my perfect date. You want a wine and dine still, guys? Still in a mall parking lot, guys.

And, like, the smell of the fast food in a car, I'm sorry, it just never smells good unless you're the one that orders it and brings it in. This comes from all the high-maintenance women in this room. Never satisfied with the lengths. Did she laugh? What did she say? She's blown away, obviously.

Yeah, yes, she laughed, but she wouldn't get in. Yeah. Oh, no. Eddie, I mean, even the movie choice is kind of predator, you know, like feeling. Idy Ne-Yo in the back kind of predator, you know, like feeling. I.D. Nebo in the back of the car. It's a Disney movie, Brooke. Yeah.

This is all red flags. They're coming up for me. Did she not get in because she had to push the other teenager out of the way? Exactly. Nah, nah. She said she doesn't really know me yet. Yeah. Okay.

Look at that. She's smart. She's thinking this through at least. Yeah, I didn't really know me yet. Yeah. Okay. Look at that. She's smart. She's thinking this through at least. Yeah, I didn't think of that. You're right. Did you have a plan B? So we went to a bar next door. We each had a beer.

And I teased her. I was like, you know, the Wendy's is getting cold. Ew. Oh, it's already cold. The first thing you guys did was eat the Wendy's. You're not still pushing the Wendy's. You need to give up on the Wendy's, man. Well, I mean, well, it worked because a few minutes later,

we were in the back seat watching Finding Nemo. Oh, that's my dude. One beer and she says yes to that? Right now, I'll eat the cold chili. Someone needs to talk to this girl. We had our burgers. We had our Frosties, you know? Oh, Frosties.

How is that not melted? Can you just let him get through one sentence without judging him, please? Okay, you slurped it with a straw. Then what, Eddie? It wasn't like we were in a movie theater. We'd both seen the movie, so we could talk through it. That's true. I like that

sometimes. Okay, so you're hanging. Now, is she feeling safe and comfortable with you? Yeah, I think so, but it was a little weird because it was good, but we didn't get to the end of the movie. Like about three quarters into the movie, she said she had to go. Well, that's like an hour into the movie, my friend.

I mean, she was there a while. Yeah, she was. And I was okay with it because after so much fast food, I hope so. Listen, you don't want to sit next to me. Ew. With the windows up okay it's wendy's it is a delight but it sounds like you felt like you left it on an okay note yeah yeah i thought we did so i walked her to her car i gave her a hug but for some reason i haven't

heard from her since free movies free movie he walks her to her car free drink i mean did you really truly feel like you guys had a connection though eddie that's that's what matters i mean i know i'm making fun of you for the finding nemo and the interesting choices but you know i i really think that we did and you said that she's low maintenance so maybe she's playing the really really low maintenance slow game here i just hope that she answers the phone when we call her and get your second date update all right man even when a guy does absolutely everything right women they just have this way to find something wrong and spin it against them we are just so

picky yeah we are so demanding. Thank you for finally saying it. I have a list of things you could improve on. Not sarcastic at all. I'm bringing it up because one of our listeners, Eddie, took out a woman named Melanie who described herself as low maintenance. And she

told him, I'm the type of gal who'd be happy just eating fast food in the back of a car while watching a movie. Yes. But then, of course, when Eddie shows up with three bags of Wendy's and finding Nemo on Blu-ray in his SUV, Melanie and all the ladies in the room go, well, obviously she didn't mean watch a movie in the car. Kyle, say what you mean, ladies. Come on. I can't.

What? We're just taking you literally at what you're saying and now we're trying to figure out if eddie took things too literally brooke i don't know what advice do you have for eddie that he needs to decipher what you really mean eddie i think one of the like hard pieces for me listening to you to describe your date was how you kept saying i was testing her like that's always something is like that feels so bad you know i've been on so many dates with women that say that and they're pretty high maintenance and they just don't know it okay oh yeah that's a wake-up call

did you did you tell her that you were testing her though like i'm wondering if that was maybe part of the problem i definitely wouldn't do that okay. It usually works really well when you're like, hey, by the way, this is a big test so you better answer right. He could have easily said in the back, hey, I was just doing this date because you said you were low maintenance and I just wanted to see if that was right or not. And that would have come off sexy to you?

No, that's what I'm saying. If he said that, that's why she's not calling him back. He's damned if he does, he's damned if he doesn't. It's a terrible date. A terrible date that she suggested to him and he just listened to but what do we know let's just call her and hear what she has to say you're ready to do this eddie ready as i'll ever Hello? Hey, is this Melanie? This is she. Hey, Melanie, my name is Jeff from the radio show

Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Why are you laughing? I had to feel like Brooke should take it from here. What? I'm not saying anything. See, I've already screwed it up. I screwed it up because I giggled halfway through it. Melanie, how are you?

Sorry, Melanie. Hi. I'm good. What can I do for you? Great question. Well, it's not really what you could do for us, but what you could do for one of our listeners that you went out on a date with named Eddie.

Okay. And who is this again? Who am I? We're Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're a radio show and we're trying to help Eddie figure out what went wrong or if anything did go wrong on your date. Because he told us a little bit about it. He's not sure if he made some mistakes. But we'd just like to know what you think of Eddie.

You know, I guess when I first met him, I thought that he was kind of funny. Okay. Can I just ask, like, you show up to a mall parking lot, and this guy opens the door, and he's got Finding Nemo and Wendy's in the back seat. What are you thinking? Dream come true? I mean, in that moment, I kind of had that lady feeling of, like, I put myself in this situation because I made a joke.

It was a joke. It was a joke. D was a joke. Did you say before you told him though, by the way, what I'm about to tell you is a joke. Oh, it's always fun to be with someone that you have to establish what is a joke and what isn't every time you talk. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because I don't know, texting is hard and like, maybe it was just interpreted, you know, we've been getting along as we've been talking you know online and and i just figured it might as well be worth it to take the shot we had our food back there and it seemed like it was kind of fun at first but the vibe just

changed like drastically once the movie started what do you mean once once finding nemo came on is that what it was no he said no i think it was finding nemo i definitely will remember that it's called finding nemo because that was one of the big issues um that he kept coming back to he was getting getting super agitated by the storyline. What do you mean he was agitated? Oh, to a point where he was changing color in his face. Like, why can't they find that damn fish? And like...

He's like, where the hell is it? We need to get a private investigator on this because it's taking too long. Was that a joke? I mean, maybe you guys just don't understand each other's type of humor right and listen and when i say i'm low maintenance i mean like i try to give people the benefit of the doubt i'm not holding a lot of judgment but this guy would not let this go he's just he's getting heated and like he's over there ranting and raving about how it should be called losing Nemo.

That is a fair point. But the thing is, that was weird, but he turned off the TV, and then he suggested that I could help him find the real Nemo in the back seat. Wait, what? Is that like a. He's like, I've hidden a fish somewhere in this car. What does that mean? Was he like, was it a sexual thing? I think it was a sexual thing.

Is that what he meant? It was an innuendo? I don't know. It just went from like a little awkward first date misunderstandings to like really creepy, really fast that kind of sealed the deal yeah okay well there's been a lot of misunderstandings happening this entire i don't know i'm just saying a lot of i get it now there's a lot of misunderstandings and maybe we should actually give eddie a chance to explain himself

because melanie he's actually on the other line listening right now and he wants to talk to you um i'm sorry he's like on the phone yeah i think he needed to hear that to be honest yeah eddie you there yep i'm right here are you dying of embarrassment eddie no No, I mean, look, there's a lot of emotion in that movie. You know, it just turned me on. Wait, what? Wait, what? Did you just say that it turned you on?

Yeah, there's just so much emotion. I mean, how can I not be turned on, you know? Look, as a guy, it's hard to be smooth and funny and not get judged.

And you know what? I feel judged right now. You weren't smooth or funny, though. Eddie, you're saying that you were, like, using a pickup line on her with you want to find nemo in the back seat yeah you know i'm just trying to be smooth trying to be funny look i i i can identify with that that sometimes it's hard to think of the smooth line in the middle of the date, especially when you have a Disney movie on. Golden rule, just stay away from using Disney and sexual innuendos in the same sentence. There's a way that it can work.

There is a job. Just don't do it. I have a star that you can wish upon. No. What does that mean? Don't know. What are you, Tinkerbell all of a sudden? Are you Pinocchio?

I'm just trying to help our listener here somehow. I think maybe we're just miscommunicating. You know what? How about we do a redo? We could do a redo. And I promise you, if we watch a movie like Finding Dory, that does nothing for me, you know? So we can... The sequel is nothing.

I hope that fish dies. Yeah. It's so stupid. I mean mean that dumb dory fish not an ellen degeneres fan okay melanie i mean how does hearing all that make you feel oh uh i think i am just not the right fish in your sea ed. It works when you're shutting somebody down. Are you sure? Because there's not a lot of fish like me. It's pretty rare.

I feel like maybe. Isn't it goldfish? Aren't there like a ton of them? Melody. Clownfish. Oh, clownfish. I got to tell you, you're a pretty common fish, my friend. I think you got the clownfish right. Yeah.

Is that what you're feeling like, Eddie? Are you doing okay? You learn anything here i don't know maybe she was taking it the wrong way but i felt like i was being pretty romantic oh boy i just think you guys oh boy she says oh boy i think lesson mickey mouse definitely lesson learned though eddie if you do exactly what the woman says, she'll eventually hate you. That is exactly the lesson. That's exactly what I learned.

That's why we're never going to get anywhere, Jeff. So we're getting everywhere? Is that what you're saying? I am sorry this didn't work out for you, Eddie, but I think there is some girl out there who is going to be willing to help you find your Nemo. In the meantime, stick to your toy story your own no that doesn't make sense not appropriate brooke and jeffrey in the morning john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team

for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.