Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Good Not Great Date

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

One of our listeners had dates with TWO different guys, but could only pick one to pursue. Did she choose correctly? Find out in your brand new Second Date Update podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener f...or privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe. Find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio
Starting point is 00:00:29 app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Smokey the Bears. Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through. Remember, please be careful. It's the least that you can do. It's what you desire. Don't play with matches. Don't play with fire.
Starting point is 00:00:49 After 80 years of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smokey Bear lives within us all. Learn more at smoky bear.com. And remember, Only you can prevent wildfire. Brought to you by the USDA Force Service, your state forester and the ad council. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship.
Starting point is 00:01:10 I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on She Pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcasts. Culture eats strategy for breakfast, right?
Starting point is 00:01:37 On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Valicia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys,
Starting point is 00:01:55 Valicia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast,
Starting point is 00:02:28 or wherever you get your podcast. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Hey, you all like wholesome content. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, and this is your second date podcast. Wait, I have this pie ready to put in your face. You're telling me they don't need it.
Starting point is 00:02:43 That's kind of wholesome, too. Oh, yeah. Yesterday's awkward Tuesday phone call just fired up the comment board. What do you see, Alexis? Lots of laughs on this one. It's so wholesome. I want a skittish husband now.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Go on, Garrett. This man's amazing, so funny. By far, my all-time favorite episode, Keep This Type Coming. Oh, man. This was a good one that's so cute. It was so cute. Yay, that's great.
Starting point is 00:03:08 So many green flags for that relationship. Yeah, for sure. I love to see it. I have a feeling we're not going to have quite as many green flags today because we have a brand new second date update for you. The green fogs are a little rare.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Yeah, yeah. They're harder to come by in these. It all starts right now. Second date update. After a good but not great first date, what are your options moving forward? You could, A, give up on dating and do absolutely nothing. Wow. You have to give out, no, it's an okay date.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Okay. Yeah, just a good, not a great date. It's going to push you over the edge to you finally just give up? I'm saying that's an option. You could go with B, play the waiting game and do absolutely nothing. Okay, that's the same option as A, is do nothing. Option C, make up a story in your head about how that person was probably some deranged psychopath. So it's justified that you ghosted them.
Starting point is 00:04:05 And do nothing. And then do nothing. But today's listener, Abby, went a different route after going on a good, not great first date. So let's talk to her about it. Abby, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. So are we going to do the, we're going to talk to you and then do nothing? Is that the...
Starting point is 00:04:22 Yeah. We'll get to doing nothing in a bit. But first, what's the name of this? good not great guy His name is Luke Oh Luke That's a good not even great name What a terrible intro
Starting point is 00:04:33 I think the name Luke is nice Luke is like he's mid Yeah and I don't I don't want to set him up either As it's being like terrible I just she's calling normal then right Normal in the middle Sure average Luke
Starting point is 00:04:45 Average that sounds bad Honestly though like right at the beginning I'm confused why you would call this guy average The date okay and actually want to go out With most first dates just good Yeah, I think we need to hear more of the story. So tell us about how you and Luke met and what you did for your date. Yeah, I mean, he's a good dude.
Starting point is 00:05:05 He has a good job. He works in pharmaceutical industry. And I don't work in the same industry, but I know people who work in it and kind of I have some clients that kind of work in it. So, like, we connected. We had something to talk about. Is that how you guys met through mutual friends or did you meet him online? Yeah, no, we met on the dating app. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:23 And we figured out that we live in the same part of town. There's a kind of popular brewery So we decided to kind of just head there Since it was close to both of us Yeah, yeah All sounds normal Yep Really good
Starting point is 00:05:34 Average Mm-hmm Trying to avoid that word Yeah How did the brewery go? It was nice Like we chatted We had stuff to talk about
Starting point is 00:05:43 You know It didn't blow me away But that's okay Yeah I mean like what you mean by that Is like he checked all the boxes Got a good job Easy Convo
Starting point is 00:05:53 But nothing like Stood out is what you're trying to say No, no, it was pretty normal And I think so normal That it kind of made me hesitate after I didn't reach out to him Other than like, thank you for the date But you know, I didn't set anything up afterwards
Starting point is 00:06:09 Is it just a quick thank you for the date Like a sign that you don't want anymore? I don't know, it depends I would say Because I'm like, oh my God, thank you That was awesome But I guess that's hard to read over text Right I mean was he responding back to you
Starting point is 00:06:24 And trying to initiate a second date Yeah, he did ask me out, and I kind of left him on red. Oh. So how long ago was that? This was two weeks ago. Okay. Okay. So where are you talking to us?
Starting point is 00:06:36 What's happened since then? Yeah. Okay. So there was a weird thing that happened, and so that's why I wanted to chat. So after that, I was a little unclear about Luke. And I went on a different date the following week, and we went to the same brewery. Guess who was there? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Luke was also there on a date? Luke was also there on a date. No. On a date again. So awkward. I mean, yeah, awkward, but he's not doing anything wrong. No, nobody's doing anything. No, we're going to see that.
Starting point is 00:07:07 She just ghosted him. And now she's back at the same brood with a new date. Yeah. What was the interaction between you two like? Was there an interaction? Yeah, I mean, we saw each other. We just kind of like waved. And I told the date, you know, it was just a friend of mine.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Awkward wave or smiley? Ew. little awkward. So wait, did you think he was cuter when he was sitting with another girl? They always are. I mean, honestly. Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I was kind of like, oh. And I'm guessing your date didn't go that good. You're on the phone with us. That's a good point, Alexis. How was the date with the new guy? Fine. Nice. Just okay. We'll call him in two weeks after this is a lot. Okay. Clearly, you were eyeing Luke over in the corner with his other date and something was happening with you emotionally.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Well, I think I also didn't have anything to compare it with. I'm kind of new back into the dating pool. Okay. And Luke was the first person I had dated. At that particular brewery. It's like when you're in a competition and you have to go first and the judges score you lower because they don't know what else is coming up next. They want to leave some room.
Starting point is 00:08:20 You may have been the best. Yeah. But then he got screwed in the judging, you know. Is that how you felt? Maybe. Maybe I did that to him. Yeah. Jump to conclusions. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:30 So where is your head at now with Luke and this new guy? The new guy was kind of whatever. And it made me think that Luke might be a good match, actually. So I stopped texting him. Well, Luke was also whatever, but he's less whatever. Wait, wait. So you texted Luke? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:48 So I texted him with just like, ha-ha, that was funny. You know, just kind of laughed it off, made a joke. And then said that we should hang out again. And he has not responded. Yeah, because you didn't respond to him when he said that. Yeah. Yeah. I know, but now maybe, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Yeah. Sounds like you want what you can't have. Exactly. And it's not like you can't have him, though. That's the thing. Well, we don't know. Maybe Luke has moved on. Maybe Luke actually did have a good time with the new girl that he was with.
Starting point is 00:09:17 I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Okay. I hope you were, like, laughing a lot and looking like you were having lots of fun on your other date. But not too much fun. or else Luke will be like, oh, she really's having a great time with that other guy. I'm kind of joking.
Starting point is 00:09:30 I'm just jealous already. I don't know. Like, why are you having more fun with me? Anyway, who says dating plays mind games on everybody? Yeah, right. Not I. So we're going to come back. We're going to call this good, not great guy, Luke, and hopefully convince him to give
Starting point is 00:09:45 you a second chance. We won't use that as his nickname, we promise. We'll come up with something better. And do it with your second date update right after this. Hold on. Second date update. what's the famous saying you don't have to outrun the bear you just have to outrun the other guy
Starting point is 00:10:02 and that's kind of how our listener Abby decided she likes a dude named Luke because she went on two average dates with two average guys but it wasn't until after she met the second one she realized actually maybe guy number one Luke was slightly better I pick him instead
Starting point is 00:10:20 who's the bear in this analogy I don't really get all that worse Brooke obviously you're the bear. Okay, and you're going to mull the slower man. I always take the weakest link. You always do. But that's how Abby ended up here looking
Starting point is 00:10:34 for another chance with guy number one. But who knows, maybe after this she'll change your mind again and next week we'll be calling average guy number two. Do you want us to keep a spot open for you Abby next week just in case? No, I'm going to stick with theirs. All right. We'll just give her a day, like
Starting point is 00:10:50 average week Sundays. Yeah. We'll have to come in on the weekends. The whole lineup of average men for you to choose from i think it's pretty understanding though like you're back into the dating world you kind of want to see what's out there a little bit and it just happened to be your very first one was better than you realized yeah but that's a big danger of playing the field right now in modern dating is there always seems to be a better option on the other side of the fence for you jeff it hasn't been forever i'm just saying what's wrong to committing to the first man who approaches you that could backfire pretty badly actually yeah abby maybe you keep that as an option
Starting point is 00:11:24 for the next guy you meet, okay? Okay. Okay. For now, we'll focus on Luke and see if he picks up the phone. I'm going to dial his number right now. Hello. Hey, is this Luke? Who's this?
Starting point is 00:11:45 My name is Jeff. I'm on a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hey, Luke. Hi. What up, Luke? This is, uh, I don't know, this is real. this is real this is real unless you're asleep right now
Starting point is 00:11:58 we're all in your dream yeah dude you're on the radio right now is that okay I mean depends on what what you need for me but sure well all we want to do is gently pry into your personal life what a sell
Starting point is 00:12:13 is that okay sounds fun it's more fun than it sounds it's a segment we do called second date update okay you're the bear You're the bear in this analogy right now, Jeff, just so you know. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:12:29 This is a segment where we try to help listeners with their dating life if they've gone out with somebody and they're not getting a call back. We can try and help figure out the reason why. And the girl who reached out to us about you is Abby. You went out with her like two weeks ago? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Are you upset with Abby? I'm not bad upset anymore. Okay. I mean, that makes sense. But you were? Well, yeah, did she tell you what happened? Yeah, I'm assuming you're talking about when you two ran into each other again, like a week later at the same brewery.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Oh, really? I think he's talking about the text messages that she didn't answer. I mean, both were gut punches. Okay. We're trying to do some investigative digging on Abby's behalf, because she's the last person that texted you, and you haven't responded to her. I mean, how she didn't respond to me first.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Okay, so it is one of those make her feel what you felt moment. I told you, mind game's not involved in dating at all. I mean, she might be upset too because of the guy. Like, is she upset because of the, I mean, I talked to the guy in the bathroom. Wait, what? What guy? Oh, her guy?
Starting point is 00:13:43 Like, her date? Yeah, I ran into the guy at the bathroom, like the guy she was on the date with. Oh. She didn't tell us that. She knows that. What happened? What did you say? I mean, I just told them the truth.
Starting point is 00:13:55 You know, I told them if you go on a nice date, she's going to ghost you probably. Oh, why would you say that? Oh, you are, man. Oh, no. What happened to you? He got ghosted. Yeah, why wouldn't I tell the guy the truth? I didn't go in there to tell him.
Starting point is 00:14:09 He just happened to be there. But he didn't ask you. I know, but you would have appreciated it if somebody did that for you. Yeah, it was more of a brocode kind of thing. It wasn't. Okay, you warned this other guy that he was going to run into problem. with Abby if he's not problem it's just ghosting well it's not it doesn't
Starting point is 00:14:26 even matter because she's not interested in that guy she's ghosting him like honestly she doesn't even I don't know I don't know if she responded to him or not but like she doesn't like that guy she likes you yeah does she really come on she texted you and asked you to go out I mean
Starting point is 00:14:44 the whole reason that she reached out to our show to call you was because there is genuine interest in what you two had going on yeah oh i thought she was just upset because of what i told the guy i didn't i thought she knew that well it didn't sound like she was upset because she didn't bring that up to us i don't even think she knows that happened yeah i don't know yeah i guess i mean he didn't say anything well here's the thing now she does know about it because the way this works is we have abby
Starting point is 00:15:12 quietly listening on the other line waiting to talk to you hey lear you're telling me you're that's her that's her look that's abby say hi Are you joking right now? No. I'm sorry. But why don't you talk to her? This is real, by the way. He's on the phone.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Yeah, that's her. Hi, I'm actually wondering if you're the one that's joking. Are you being serious? Are you talking to my date? Oh. Why would she tell him that I was going to ghost him? Well, didn't you ghost him? I mean, I haven't exactly been that.
Starting point is 00:15:48 It happened to me at such a bad, like, stumble. I mean, Abby, he obviously told him that because that's what you did to him. Okay. But, I mean, first of all, it's none of, no offense, believe it's not, that's not your business. And I'm genuinely, I would do it because I'm interested in going out with you again. Oh. I have to ask. Are you planning on seeing him again?
Starting point is 00:16:08 I guess not because you're calling on the radio about me? No, I'm not going to do this other guy. And, yeah, I reached off to the radio because, look, like, I'm new to this. And I, I like you. And I get a lot of messages. on the dating apps, and I'm not like saying that to, like, poop my own horn, but I'm realizing
Starting point is 00:16:27 that a good first date doesn't always have to be like sparkles and magic and great, and I think it's a great building block, and so I was interested in you. I mean, that's nice, but like, if you're ghosting him again, this is a pattern.
Starting point is 00:16:44 No, if she sees him on a date with someone else, she'll text him again. She's only been in the dating world two weeks. I mean, I don't know if She's even been in it long enough to be a pattern. You learn not to ghost eventually. And you know what? That's true, I guess.
Starting point is 00:16:59 You seem sincere about it. Yeah. Okay. I mean, there's kind of an awkwardness happening between you two. Like, is this what the conversation on your guys' date was like? Because now I can kind of understand what you were saying. Yeah, there's some ups. There's some downs.
Starting point is 00:17:12 It was nice. You have an okay time. I mean, you can at least tell him that you're not ghosting him anymore because this cancels out that ghost moment. You texted him and called him. Hey, yeah. So go ahead, Abby. I mean, look, like, I'm realizing some things here.
Starting point is 00:17:26 I should write this other guy and just say, thank you. I don't think it's a good fit. That's good. Yeah. Look at that. Learning from mistakes. Yeah. I am genuine. I'm being honest here.
Starting point is 00:17:36 What do you think of that, bro? Do you believe her, Luke? I believe her. I think my expectations are still going to be low if that's okay with you. Oh. I should be. Aw. What a romantic thing to say.
Starting point is 00:17:47 I think that's always so good. I would love low expectations. True. Yeah. Yeah, for real. I'd expect absolutely nothing from you going forward, and I want that. You can impress them with anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Guys, I'm going to cry. Now that we've set the bar way, way down, we would like to offer to send you two on another date, and we would pay for it. I'm going to give the option to Luke first, since you're the person that we were calling, buddy. I will say yes, but I have to say expectations are low, and I expect you to ghost me after the second date. Oh, wow. Is it disappointing if she doesn't now? Hey, we can only go up from here. Hey, there we got it, dude.
Starting point is 00:18:29 That's hope. There you go, Abby. You scored a date with Luke. This will be the only time a high-five can in a date, and it'll be a good thing. Yeah, it will be. If you still want it, that is. Are you still interested? Don't change your mind now.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Or have you gone back to guy number two again? No, no, no. I'm interested in Luke. I want to go on another date. Oh, yay. Oh, yay. Same brewery for a third time in a row. Oh God, we're going to run into the other guy.
Starting point is 00:18:54 That bartender is going to be like, what is happening? My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other
Starting point is 00:19:19 But I just want her gone Now hold up, isn't that against school policy That sounds totally inappropriate Well according to this person This is her boyfriend's former professor And they're the same age And it's even more likely that they're cheating He insists there's nothing between them
Starting point is 00:19:33 I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him Because he now wants them both to meet So do we find out if this person's boyfriend Really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale Listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Starting point is 00:19:50 I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy, which is more effortful to use, unless you think there's. a good outcome as a result of it if it's going to be beneficial to you because it's easy to say like like go you go blank yourself right it's easy it's easy to just drink the extra beer it's easy to
Starting point is 00:20:25 ignore to suppress seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denial is easier drinking is easier yelling screaming is easy complex problem solving meditating you know takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I got to say, I'm kind of proud of Abby on that one, because she had every right to be upset after learning Luke had talked to her date in the bathroom. She totally could have changed her mind, but no, she stuck to her guns and said, I don't care if Luke is bad-mouthing me behind my back to the other guys that I'm dating.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I committed to him early on, and I am sticking with it. Yeah, she really did. I hate to say he didn't badmouthed because he kind of did, but he was just like, Okay, she didn't call me back, just a warning. Like, is that telling the truth? Finally, someone said, oh, my God, you're right. I shouldn't have done that. She even said she's going to tell the other guy.
Starting point is 00:21:25 She's not interested. I also didn't know. Guy bathroom talk is like that. Oh, we're all getting each other's back for sure. Oh, our backs, we got each other's fronts. It gets crazy in there. I thought it was awkward to talk when you guys wrote the year together. Sometimes we're not actually talking.
Starting point is 00:21:38 We're just having each other's backs. Oh. And it's a good time. All I'm asking, though, is blind loyalty too much to ask. Yes. You should never be blindly loyal to anyone. Okay, good. So then I will not ask all of our loyal listeners to subscribe to our podcast.
Starting point is 00:21:53 In fact, feel free to unsubscribe because we believe in choices. You know how awful people we are. There's nothing about blind about their loyalty. They know exactly what they're in for. Oh, yeah. So click at your own risk. If you're not following us, check us out at Brooke and Jeffrey. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Don't let biased algorithms or degrees. screens or exclusive professional networks or stereotypes don't let anything keep you from discovering the half of the workforce who are stars workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree it's time to tear the paper ceiling and see the stars beyond it find out how you can make stars part of your talent strategy at tear the paper sealing.org brought to you by opportunity at work in the ad council have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on She Pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroff. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots. Now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here. And on my podcast, Good Game with.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. That was diagnosed with cancer on and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that.
Starting point is 00:24:18 On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Death World Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson,
Starting point is 00:24:35 we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture Raises Us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.