Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Hey Pineapple

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

The guy in today’s Second Date has a strategy for giving a nickname on the FIRST DATE that he swears is undefeated. Hear what it is in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Second Date Update. As a guy, the hardest thing about online dating is figuring out how to capture a beautiful woman's attention right off the bat. Because when you're one of 50,000 thirsty dudes sliding into her DMs, how are you supposed to stand out? Yeah, nothing really works. It must be hard for you guys. One person in this room might think sending her an upside-down eggplant might do the trick.

Upside down? And even though that may sound crude and inappropriate, it also isn't far off. Instead of showing her an eggplant, why not call her one instead? That's not sexy at all. That's what one of our listeners, Sean, would recommend doing. Let's talk to him. Sean, welcome to the show. Hey, guys.

How you doing? Did you tell a woman she reminds you of an eggplant? Not an eggplant, but I like to use kind of like fruit nicknames. It gets their attention a little bit. Like my little blueberry or mango mama. Oh, that was so cool. I wish I was a mango mama. You plump little watermelon over there, you.

No, it's not. I can't think of a- You sexy kumquat. Look at you. I'm having a hard time thinking of a friend that's a compliment. Yet to think of one I want to be called. Not like a little cherry pie. There's a strategy that works well for you, Sean? Yeah, I mean, it kind of lets them remember you.

You know, it's like a. Stands out. Yeah, it kind of just makes you stand out a little bit. You know, it's cute. Cute, yeah it kind of just makes you stand out a little bit you know it's uh it's it's cute cute like cutie oranges right brooks on board now so but it worked for you so you know good job who was the woman that it worked on yeah so i met this girl named hannah i don't care about her real name what'd you call her yeah and the obvious name would be hannah banana but i like i figured too many people have called her that in her life okay yeah is that one with hey

pineapple pineapple and not a real catchy nickname not the sexiest fruit you think of did she see all of that as a compliment not really we didn't really chat for like a week. For a week she didn't talk to you? Yeah, so we matched, and once I called her that, we didn't talk for like a week after that. Oh, okay. Oh, no. So did you apologize? Is that how you recovered?

No, actually, I kind of went in the opposite direction. I sent her like a cool pineapple fact every day and doubled down on it. Oh. Here's why you are really a pineapple. Oh, man. That's pretty funny, actually. See, now Brooke likes it.

What fact got her? Well, I think it was the combination of all the facts together that really got her to respond. Just your extensive pineapple knowledge. It's like a book of pineapple facts. Showed your value through pineapple trivia. Okay. Yes, she said, if you don't call me pineapple anymore

we can talk ah okay oh my gosh wait so you responded to shut you up i mean he must be attractive yeah like i'm glad i worked but like you said you recommended this people i wouldn't do that you annoyed her into a first date not a lot of people can do that. So how did it go? I beg to differ. Some of us can. What did you do? So I laid off the pineapple talk, as she asked. Good. And I switched to calling her Kiwi, which she liked a little bit better. Oh, now she's a Kiwi.

Oh, my God. You just didn't leave that alone. But I think that. Did she really like it? She liked it. Did she, though? Yeah, but you guys don't understand. It was like kind of a joke.

It was like, I'm not going to call you pineapple anymore, but I'm'm gonna call you a different person let's put the fruit basket aside for a second because we need to talk about hannah and your actual date with her yeah yeah we decided to meet up at a restaurant not okay i thought you're gonna say juice bar and i was like i swear all my exes are in here oh god all my exes so how did the restaurant go yeah so i i honestly i was walking on eggshells i was trying hard to do everything right oh really yeah i was opening doors i was pulling out chairs complimenting her but you know also kind of playing it cool and i think it played i think it went really well we were talking and spent like an over an hour in the restaurant that's pretty good i mean it's kind of average time, but yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty good. I mean, average, I mean, I guess. Good for a pretty bad date, in my opinion. That's how long food normally takes. Yeah. But don't point it out to him. Brooke, you're making me feel a little self-conscious over here. I'm not going to listen to you.

Stop. I don't mean it that way. Sorry, Coconut. Go back to the story. What happened with the date? It was an hour long? Yeah, it was an hour long. We both finished eating.

I paid like a gentleman. I didn't ask her to do anything. But most men pay on dates. It's not really that big of a deal, but okay. I want to know how you guys connected. What stood out? I feel like you're going through the list of of the timeline but like what about the date he was being an extra gentleman for her pulling out all

the chairs and giving her compliments yeah a complimentary we had a lot of similarities from the past you know we've ran in the same circles oh same parents oh god no something cool to bond over same circle johnson family? Yeah. On Circle Drive? Of course. We're just kidding, man. We're just kidding. We're done, bro. I know, I know.

Like, that's a big deal that you knew the same people from life. Yeah, it's like a small world. Like, you should have met. I mean, these all sound like really, really positive things. How did the night end? Yes, I walked into her car. We hugged goodbye. Okay.

That night, I texted her after and told her I had a great time. And? The next day, I asked her if she wants to meet up again, and then she responded in big caps, Are you joking? Oh. What? Oh.

Maybe she was like, Are you joking? And you're like, No, finally I'm being serious. Kiwi. Yes, I wrote back, No, Kiwi. Are you up for round two? Hey. Oh, okay. Okay. We're still rolling with the Kiwi. I just thought we ditched it. yes i wrote back no kiwi are you up for round two and did you get a response to that i haven't heard back at all man honestly like when she said are you kidding me it feels like there's something that you should have understood there something

that went wrong during the date can you think of anything that would have happened that she could have taken as a red flag it was was a post-pineapple world. You know, I wasn't mentioning it as we talked about. And I don't know what I did. I'm confused. So you dropped the pineapple. Huh. Interesting. Yeah. So I guess we're just going to call her and find out. We'll come back, do your second date

update right after this. Second date update. Women do not like a guy who's too cheesy on a date. But never said anything about being too fruity. And our listener, Sean, has used that to his advantage. Because his secret to nabbing a beautiful woman's attention online is calling her a cutesy fruit nickname. Like blueberry or nectarine.

See, it all works. The ladies love it. That's how we ended up on a dinner date with Hannah, a.k.a. Kiwi. Okay. Well, he started with pineapple, and then she refused to respond. She kind of vetoed that one, and then they went with Kiwi. But they did go out together, and how that date actually went

kind of depends on who you ask. If you ask Sean, it was great. Amazing. If you ask Brooke, it was meh. Pretty much like any other date we've ever heard. Nothing special. I didn't mean to be rude. Seems like the girl might agree.

True. The real question is what did Hannah think? Because when he asked to meet up with her again, her response was, are you joking? Yeah. And there was no smiley face emoji after it. Or fruit emojis. Which means something happened that we're all missing.

That should be obvious to him, right? Is that where your head's at, Sean? Yeah, definitely. Okay. I mean, you do know, like, we may get her on the phone and she may say something kind of mean. Brooke's kind of hoping that she does, actually.

I just know how these go, you know? Brooke, what are you saying? Why do you keep putting me down? I'm not putting you down. I'm just trying to prepare you. I just don't want it to hurt your feelings. Well, I don't think she's going to hurt my feelings, but you're definitely hurting my feelings right now, Brooke.

What? Why am I trying to hurt your feelings? Why are you smiling when he says that? Because I'm trying to watch out for your feelings. Just call her. I'm not going to say anymore. All right, let's save it. Here we go. I'm dialing he says that. I'm trying to watch out for your feelings. Just call her. I'm not going to say anymore. All right, let's save it. Here we go.

I'm dialing Hannah right now. Hello? Hi, we're looking to speak with Hannah. Yeah, this is Hannah. Who's calling? This is a radio show calling called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Hey, Hannah. What's up, Hannah?

How do you do? Welcome to the show, Hannah. Weird morning, huh? Why are you calling me? Well, we're calling on behalf of one of our listeners who's been trying to get a hold of you. It's a guy that you went on a date with recently named Sean. Oh, okay. Okay.

Okay. Do you have a nickname for him or is he just that one for you? All right. No, he's got a million for me, but, um, I, yeah, we spoke to Sean a little earlier and we heard about your guys' quote unquote relationship and your date. Your one date. I mean, I wouldn't call it a relationship for sure. Yeah. I'm sorry. We're not trying to put labels on it or anything. But I will tell you, Sean is very confused, a little bit disappointed that he hasn't been able to see you one more time. I'm honestly, I'm at a loss. How does this man not understand?

He, honest to God, this guy is totally clueless. I don't know what happened he seemed to think the date went great yeah we've heard a few of the highlights from your date night and clearly he is missing something we're just trying to help him figure out what that is i will say like that was the most awkward end of a date i've like ever ever had at the end the end he didn't mention anything about the end. He just said he walked you to your car and gave you a hug. What happened?

So we're eating, you know, I think it was like about an hour in, and I had to go to the bathroom. Okay, can I ask real quick, before you go to the bathroom, I wanted to tell her. I know, but I want to know, how was she feeling about the date then? You know, I was like, let me just go to see what's happening. We know some of the same people okay he was also really persistent with his like attempts to get you to go out with him but sorry you were there for an hour you went to the bathroom and what

right so i come back from the bathroom and my food which was like halfway finished was bagged up and sitting at the table and i just thought okay, like it is a weeknight. Maybe he has work tomorrow early or something, you know. Or maybe the waitress or waiter came over and, you know, sometimes they just scoop it up real quick. And you weren't finished with your food at that point? Right. There was still enough left for seconds, I would say.

I feel like this is a positive sign. You wanted the date to continue. You didn't want it to be over, it sounds like. Yeah. I mean, he was putting in effort, so, like, I was willing to continue the date. It wasn't, it was, we were having a good time. Okay. Okay.

So, this is good. So, it wasn't, like, a total loss from the beginning. So, what's, like, the worst part? Why is this so bad that you wouldn't want to talk to him again or see him again? Okay, so, then he's like, should we go? I'm like, yeah, sure. So, he grabs my food and we walk out and i'm like oh a gentleman i guess like yeah i'm assuming he's gonna walk me to my car and

hand me my things and send me off right totally we get to my car he hugs me and he keeps holding the food and says oh hey thanks for this i going to split this with my roommate for lunch tomorrow. No! Your food? It was just like an immediate pick. Like, no, no. I didn't even think of that as an option. I had no idea

that was what was coming. In his mind, I'm cheap, too. Don't call him cheap. You would say that while he is listening on the other line right now. Calling him cheap right to his own ears. What if he's eating the food right now? Jeffrey, I'm trying to defend him.

I get it. By calling him cheap. No, but like. Wait, Sean is on the other line right now. Oh, my God. Maybe if he's not crying on the floor right now. Sean, are you there? Yeah, I'm here, guys, unfortunately. Oh, my God. Maybe if he's not crying on the floor right now. Sean, are you there? Yeah, I'm here, guys, unfortunately.

Oh, Sean. Bro, you took her food. What are your thoughts, dude? I mean, I can't even believe this is even a conversation right now. And, I mean, we were there for over an hour, and I just thought we were done eating. I thought it was right etiquette to get the food. You just assumed then.

Like, why didn't you say, like, hey, are you done? And can me and my roommates eat this? Oh, yeah, that's a big follow-up. I didn't see a problem with it. I figured it was ours. You know, I paid for the bill and, you know. Yeah, but it's my meal. Yeah.

It's your meal when we're at the restaurant. But when the date's over, it becomes my meal. Anything for the date's over. It becomes my meal. Anything my meal. It becomes my meal. So it's his possession because he paid for it? Oh, how new. So this is something

you do all the time. Yeah, this is something everybody should do. I don't see... No, bro. You're doubling down. Hannah, can you see his point of view?

Oh, wait. No. No. I didn't even say I want this to go. I went to the bathroom. Like if I had said, you know what? I'm done with food.

Maybe. That's true. But like, no, I was still hungry. I mean, can't you be a little bit more understanding there, Kiwi? No. Don't do that, Jeff. Sorry, I know that that's yours and Sean's nickname. So I don't want to like step on any toes here.

Oh, Hannah. Listen, whoever told this guy that it was all so cute to call people food names, like, no. Any food names? So, wait a minute. Okay, enchilada. Can I just ask? It just kind of dawned on me.

Sean, did you really think she was done done, or do you just wanted a bigger portion to bring home to the house? Was it an opportunity? Yeah. I thought she was done, honestly. I thought it was... Likely story.

Sometimes you give off the signs of being done, like you rub your belly a lot, like you're full. She said she was still hungry. Yeah, she literally went to the bathroom. She went to the bathroom. That's I'm done. I feel like she knocks her fork over and he's like, can we get a box, please? You may have been giving full vibes, Hannah.

Can you at least admit that? Also not a compliment. Thank you, Alexis. No, because my thing is, like, even if I was giving full vibes, then what if I wanted to take my leftovers home? And while I was eating them at home, maybe I would think, hmm, nice date. Like, I'll give this guy another chance. That's true. She's going to remember you.

But if you had thought the food was so good, wouldn't you have eaten all of it there in one sitting? Exactly. It sounds like she would have eaten it all, Jeffrey, if they hadn't boxed it before she finished. Exactly. See, I think the whole room agrees, Hannah, that you're in the wrong here. And you have a chance to do a do-over and make this date done the right way a date that we would pay for I mean then it's our food do we get the leftovers mail it over to the station so we can eat it I want a bread stick what do you think Hannah one

more chance for Sean if you guys are gonna pay for it I'm gonna request that then you also pay for another meal for him and his roommate to take home afterwards, and then maybe I can sit her. Okay. Well, Brooke can agree to cover that cost if she wants to jump in, but we'll just cover the two meals. Does he not eat unless his roommate brings food home for him? Maybe his roommate's

a dog. Did we ask? Oh, we did not ask that. To clarify, my roommates are real people, and they're my parents. And they're my parents. And they're your parents. Oh! Your parents. Oh. Yeah. Your parents are eating the leftovers. Does that make it better or worse? Hannah, you don't want to take away food from his mom and dad,

do you? Yeah. For me, this is like all starting to add up of like how you were raised and stuff because my parents would never eat a stranger's leftovers and so like this is all just too much for me. And I'm respectfully going to pass. Oh, God.

Did this just evolve to my parents are better than your parents? It did, I was going to say. Yeah, my upbringing much stronger than yours. Thanks anyway, guys. To be honest, I don't think my mom would have liked her anyway. What, did she order bad food?

All moms love me, I will say it. I love that that's what really got her anyway. What, did she order bad food? All moms love me, I will say it. I love that that's what really got her insulted. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. If you pay for a meal, should the leftovers belong to you?

It's an interesting question. I know Brooke's stance is yes. No, it's not. Because she buys us lunch sometimes and before she goes home, she'll dig through the garbage cans trying to find any scraps that we didn't and to bring it home to her family. It's like, I didn't know you didn't like crust, Jeffrey. Like, the crust

is the best part. So you take his crust home? Like, Michael, I brought home some crust for you for dinner. Some Jeffrey crust. I could 100% see you doing that. I could see Brooke do that. You put it all in a casserole dish and cover it in cheese. No, it's a casserole. By the end of the week, you got enough to feed

a whole family. So I will never eat one of your casseroles again. The thing is, Brooke is already in an established relationship so she can get away with it. Sean was on a first date when he pulled that move. Poor Sean. He's not getting a call back. Look, everyone texting in, we understand the points.

He paid. It's his food. I still don't think that's right. Yeah, it's just interesting that it's her food until the meal is over. Yeah. Then it changes possession. A legal owner. Who's in charge of that rule?

I'd say do a better job at dinner. That's what I'd say. Eat faster? Yeah. I think we need to take this matter right up to the Supreme Court. There we go. They don't have anything else going on. Help us decide that.

And in the meantime, we can continue to help you with your dating life. Email the show. We'll call that person who's not calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.