Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: It's All About M.E

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

If someone bails on your date would you rather they ghost you or send a detailed text explaining why? One guy did neither of those things, but our listener STILL wants to meet up with him. Find out why in a brand new Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Second Date Update. Normally, our goal during this second date segment is to get two people back together for a second try. Second chance for a romantic connection. We came up with a catchy name that we did. Yeah, we put a lot of work into this. Maybe there was a misunderstanding. Maybe someone's fly was down on accident.

Or on purpose. Doesn't matter. It should never be on purpose. Yeah, it happens. Well, today, before we can even get to any of that, we might need to solve a mystery. Because there's been some strange text messages exchanged. And I don't know what they are,

but apparently it was enough for our listener Kiki to reach out for help about it. So let's talk to her. Kiki, welcome to the show. Thank you. Okay, Kiki. So let's talk to her. Kiki, welcome to the show. Thank you. Okay, Kiki. Do you love me? Okay.

Sorry, I'm a big Drake fan. You like that song? You must get that all the time. Actually, don't even answer my question. Nope, we're getting distracted already. My bad, sorry. Tangents all over the place. Kiki, how are you doing?

I'm doing okay, just a little confused. Yeah, I kind of picked that up from your email. What's going on with you and this guy that you met? What's his name? Okay, his a little confused. Yeah, I kind of picked that up from your email. What's going on with you and this guy that you met? What's his name? Okay, his name is Chase. Okay, I'm guessing you guys met online or on an app. Yes. Okay. On an app.

And he checked all my boxes. Okay. What did that sound like? It felt like a red flag when she said it. You did have a sensual tone to your voice. She checked all my boxes. I mean, I get that a lot. But we moved pretty quick.

He asked me if I wanted to go out that Friday, which was two days after we met on the app. Is that too fast? Is that electric? I don't know. I mean, I kind of get just getting to the screening instead of texting and wasting your time. I guess it depends.

I would take it as a positive, like he's really excited to see you as quickly as possible. That's true. Yeah, I said yeah. I was really looking forward to it. Nice. So how did it go? Yeah, what did you guys do?

Well, the day of, three hours before the date, I get a message from him saying he's really sorry, but he has to postpone because he had to take care of M.E. Oh, me? M.E. Why periods? Oh, I take care of my elephant. Oh. Got it.

Okay, maybe he has an elephant. Did you ask him? Like, who's that? What does that mean? He Googled M.E. And I was like, either he's working on his Master's of Education. Oh, okay. Or he has something called myalgic insomniacal.

Okay, that's a sound code. You can't pronounce it. Myalgic Ansemous Chalcis? Okay, that's a sound code. You can't pronounce it. It's either a positive or a negative. We're not sure what it is. You know what that means? Well, it means extreme fatigue. Oh.

And that actually makes sense. He's super exhausted. He's like, I literally have to take care of it. I gotta sleep. I mean, if he was super fatigued, he didn't seem very fatigued when he was on the app. Uh-oh, that's true.

Just set in. So I wasn't sure what it was. Yeah. So I wanted to send him a generic message back to figure out what it was. Yeah, like you don't know if you were going to say, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, or congratulations. There's no in-between. So what did you say? What did you write?

I said, sounds tough. Sounds tough. Okay. That's true. Nice middle ground. Let's reschedule. Let's reschedule. Okay.

And did you? Yeah. Well, sure enough, the next day he did reschedule for later in the week. Okay. All right. We're back on track now. The day rolls around and he says, no, you're going to hate me when I'm totally floating right now. Floating?

Floating. Oh, is it like floating like when you're in those pods? Or is ME some sort of drug we don't know about? Oh, it's a special K. I don't know. That's really weird. Do you know what that means? Well, I Googled that.

I Googled that. I don't think that's going to come up with the answers that you want. Do you know what that means? Well, I Googled that. I Googled that. You Googled everything she tells you. I don't think that's going to come up with the answers that you want. Yeah, you're going to get, like, all sorts of things. Hot air balloons. Buoyancy lessons. Well, apparently, it's when you have to pretend to be really busy at work for your boss when you're really doing nothing. Okay.

There's a term for that? That's floating? They're floating, like like floating by at work. I don't know if he meant that, but that's what I found. So I guess he had a work problem. Or he's floating around his master's program. Why are you still interested in this guy? He's like talking in like weird speak.

He's like not following through on anything. Canceled twice? Yeah. He didn't cancel twice. He postponed twice of right, bro. Not following through on anything. Canceled twice? Yeah. He didn't cancel twice. He postponed twice. Yeah, sure. Okay. It's not very nice to say about someone with myalgic emphysemal sinusitis.

M.E. Yeah, M.E. I mean, we're scheduled to go out this Saturday. So then why are you following us? Well, no, because he just messaged me back saying, I might have to push it back one more day. Hold on, can I say something, though? At least these aren't last second. He's giving her a date notice.

He even gave her three hours. I don't think he did the other days. Yeah, it was just three hours before the date. Not for a woman, I don't think. Do you think he's catfishing you? Do you think he's real? Like, maybe, like, here's the thing. Like, he's coming real close to the date and then suddenly

canceling and coming up with a different excuse every time. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if he has a girlfriend or something. Oh. Oh, that's an interesting theory. Okay, we didn't think of that, that maybe he's just like trying to push you off until he can get rid of his current girlfriend or something. Or start a cheat on his girlfriend.

Exactly. And the girlfriend keeps being home. I mean, we haven't come up with a positive theory yet, which isn't good. Yeah, I don't want to keep waiting. I just want to know what's really happening. Okay. That's something we can do because, honestly,

I'm tired of guessing at what's really going on. I don't know if it makes sense. Let's just give him a call. We'll come back and we'll solve this mystery once and for all. What's really going on with Chase and his M period, E period, floating period, weirdness period. If it was just a period, we could figure it out. All right, we'll come back and get to the bottom of it right after this. Second date update.

Three scheduled dates. Two have already been postponed. And one is on the verge. Which is where we come in to save the day. We're always living on the verge, aren't we, Jeffrey? Yeah! I'm a virgin!

So what else? I kind of like it that way. That's what that word means. We're going to try to get to the bottom of this once and for all, because there's been some confusing texts being exchanged between our listener, Kiki, and the guy that she's trying to meet up with named Chase. She is tired of waiting and postponing and postponing. She just wants an answer. I think this is good.

I think it's good she came to us. Yeah, so what do you say, Brooke? Should we just call Chase and figure this out? I think that he owes you some explanation, Kiki. definitely does yeah yeah all of us i feel invested i mean we don't need to come out of heart or anything but you do speak for yourself wait a minute kiki's been waiting like it sounds like a month to get this date locked down so it's time to finally get to it here we go i'm going to dial his number right now hello hey we're looking to speak with chase uh speaking who is this okay hey hey chase uh we're a radio show called brooke and jeffrey in the We're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Okay, a radio show? That's right. Yeah, it still exists. We're doing something called a second date update, which is a segment where we're trying to help out one of our listeners, you know, smooth out the bumps in their dating life. Not that they have any bumps. I'm just... That's a weird... I know, right?

I'm sorry. Bumps into dating, Jeff? That was a terrible thing. First she said he was going to come at him hard, now this. It's a bump-free lady, and her name is Kiki. That doesn't sound good either. You want some curves. Well, I don't...

Why am I singing a different type of bumps? We got a bendy, wavy lady. I don't know anything about what she looks like or anything about her body. I know she seems really sweet when we talk to her. Her name's Kiki. What is going on with kiki yeah we heard you guys have plans this weekend yeah well tentative plans here's the deal you've already postponed on her twice at least that's what she told us yeah i guess that's

technically true okay well if the dates didn't happen then that would be true. And you're the one that said let's do it another time. And you've already sent her that you might have to postpone again for your date on Saturday. It's just leaving her with a lot of questions because your texts have been a little bit mysterious for why it's happening. She told you my

text? Well, I mean, not all of them. Not the personal ones, just the ones that she didn't get. Yeah. Like, for example, she told us about one message where you said, you're totally floating right now, and you can't make it. Oh, yeah. We just assumed you were on drugs.

Yeah. No, we didn't. But we all thought it. I'm joking. I'm joking. What does that mean? We don't understand. I meant, like, I had had a long day at work, and I was in the bath when I texted that. So I meant like I'm just kind of floating in the water right now. You were that literal? Literally floating in water.

Yeah, I didn't want to get out. You canceled a date because you wanted to take a longer bath? It's not an excuse. I really needed it. Okay. I'm still not 100% clear on what you mean. He's a man that needs baths, Jeff. Okay.

Hygiene is a good thing. Can we go to your other text that you sent where you said that you were taking care of M.E.? What does M.E. mean? It means like me. I knew it. You, as in yourself. Why do you put periods in it? We got another bath? Yeah, we weren't sure.

I just thought it was like a fun way to say me. What were you doing to take care of you? What kind of self-care are we talking about here? So I went home and I laid in my massage chair. Had some Ben & Jerry's and I just exfoliated for the entire night. And it was awful.

You put off her for that? If I can't take care of myself, who can I take care of? It sounds like you got us there. I mean, the saying is, if somebody is really important to you, you'll make time for them. Yeah, yeah. That's why I postponed it and didn't cancel. She is important to me. Oh, my God.

You're just putting her off. I see. Not as important as you are to me. I mean, I will say, I feel like men don't take enough time with their personal care. Like, they usually just consider toilet time that. Okay. So you're saying this is an okay excuse to bail out a date?

Eating a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's is more important than going on a first date. Or he could have invited her over to share the Ben & Jerry's. That would have been great. Why didn't you do that? On a first date, that would have been a bit creepy. Well, you're already

kind of lying. He's not lying. All right. He's dabbling that line. I'm not anti any of what he's saying. Well, I guess Brooke's not, but that's not the person whose opinion really matters. The one we need to ask is Kiki, who I need to tell you has been on the other line listening this entire time. Probably needing to do some self-care of her own after this.

Kiki, are you there? What? Yeah, I'm here. That's probably kind of hard to hear. Yeah, sorry, Chase. That's how this works. We have them on the other phone. I'm just confused.

I'm confused, too. I didn't know I was going to be on the radio. Yeah, it's kind of random. Well, it's just funny because what you're saying, it sounds like something a woman would do. Oh. Wow, I did not expect a woman would do. Oh. Wow. I did not expect that right now.

I mean, sure. It does sound lovely. It sounds amazing. I believe everyone should self-care all the time. Okay. Well, can you go back to your, like, messages, Chase? Like, is there a reason why you had to cancel or sorry postpone the dates on her or is this just something that you do at random right i i remember one of the times i had forgot my lunch at home

that just froze your whole day off what i was waiting for you to continue the story you didn't eat anything no i had a bagel while I was there. I bought something. So it was just that your routine was disrupted? Is that why? You were a little stressed by that? So, you know, I knew I had to go home and just have a night to myself on the couch. Because you were so upset about the lunch?

Well, what do you, like, just by yourself, what do you do? So I just went home that day, and I got some boxed wine. I did some retail therapy on Amazon. Got myself, like, four new pairs of shoes. Oh. Oh. Shoes and boxed wine. Four pairs?

How much wine do you have to drink to talk yourself into four pairs at once? Until he's taken full care of himself. Those get your shape ups are cool, all right? I'd buy two. And that means you couldn't go out with her. Yeah. Kiki, how do you feel hearing all that? I mean,

he sounds very high maintenance. Yeah. I feel like he's so low maintenance. Yeah, because he's maintaining himself. He requires zero maintenance. But it's like, where's the room to help her, you know, to like take on anybody else's? It's there. I just got to get through my stuff. Well, yeah.

But like, I don't think. It's like you're always going to have a bad day if little things affect you that much. Yeah, forgetting your lunch isn't stuff. It's not like shut down the whole day. I'm not going to go anywhere anymore. Did you guys not hear me? I had to buy a bagel. Well, we are very sorry for your plight.

Okay. I don't want to add any more onto your plate here. Oh, my God. Can you imagine the self-care you're going to have to do after this phone call? Yeah, I mean, I can tell this is already really winding you up. Hopefully, to put you at ease, we're going to take a lot off your plate and pay for your next date with Kiki if you're willing to go out with her. Yeah, no pressure, no stress, man. Yeah, no, I still want to go out with her.

It's not on a self-care day. Okay. Is there any day of the week that is not a self-care day? It just depends on what happens on that day. Okay, so every day is a self-care day. Go out first thing in the morning. Right on point, Alexis.

I could do a breakfast date. Okay. What if he gets a bad night's sleep, though? Hey, you gotta roll the dice sometimes in dating, Jose. Just don't order a bagel at breakfast or it's so chase are you cool with that breakfast date we can put it on calendar and see what happens okay well it's as close as we're gonna get kiki so congratulations you've got chase i'm looking forward to seeing you.

That may be the most understanding woman ever. We're all going to need to take a mental health day after this. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I think it's funny. If the gender roles were reversed here, and I'm not even saying you, Brooke, or Alexis, I feel like our audience as a whole would be sending in totally different text messages than the ones that we're getting right now saying, you know what? Totally, girl.

You deserve a break. Self-care for the win. Put yourself first. Men second. I'll tell you the reason why it sits wrong with me. It's not because I think self-care is great for men or women, but this is the type of guy that's going to tell you that the pregnancy and the labor and everything was harder on him than it was on the actual woman. And that's

my issue. Well, I do think it would be pretty hard on him. That's a lot of suffering that he has to go through. Like the screaming that goes into his eardrums. I bet that's hard for him. But I do think it is good that guys are starting to do this and put themselves first. We should, but this is extreme,

gentlemen. You know what? Men have never been first in this society. It's true. I think you know what? Everybody, man or woman, should be putting themselves first. If we all put ourselves first, the world would be a much better place. There'd be no seconds. That's right. Yeah.

Alright. So here's to number one. Alright. And here's for fighting for men, right? That's right. Yeah, bro. And all they have to go through. Everybody wins with today's second date update. You know what?

Go find more winners in more of our second date calls. We have them up in our podcast wherever you get yours, at Brooke and Jeffrey. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to

laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.