Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Jesus Take The Selfie

Episode Date: July 5, 2024

One of our listeners was convinced into doing a selfless, good deed on his first date, and somehow it completely backfired...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I hate to start things off on a sour note, but I already know Brooke is going to be rooting for this second date to fail. What? I don't like these things to fail. I want people to find love and have hope. I don't know much, but the only thing I do know is that one of our listeners, Ronald, went out with a woman recently.

And that woman apparently says she does not drink. And Brooke famously hates the sobers. That is not true. So, Ronald, you have an uphill battle to fight here, my friend. But hopefully you can convince my lovely co-host to go to bat for you. So tell us about the girl that you want us to call. What's her name?

Her name is Cindy. Her name's Cindy. And I'm guessing, was she upfront with you about not drinking? It's a complicated story, but yeah, she was upfront. When we met for our first date, we met at a cocktail bar. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So she's cool being out. Around it. Yeah, totally. Because everybody has different levels of sobriety. Sometimes you need that reminder of like, oh yeah, this is why I don't drink. Yeah, literally. I just go out with a bunch of annoying drunk people. Right.

Mind you. Okay. So, I mean, how did that meeting go? It was a really small cocktail bar. It's like a place you go get one or two drinks. They're pretty expensive. Oh, yeah. I know what you mean.

And so when I found out, I was like, oh, should we go somewhere else? She's like, no, this is great. And I had a drink, and she had something, just like a soda water. Brooke, are you okay? Are you sure? She's rolling her eyes as you're speaking. I am not rolling your eyes. She's breaking things in half in her hand.

Jeffrey, that is not true at all. I totally applaud people's life of sobriety. I think that it's awesome. Absolutely. But if you were on this date, you'd already be four drinks deep. Well, because I'm not a sober person, Jeffrey. Yeah, not on the date, not now, not at home, not during your sleep. No, but that's okay.

Let's learn a little bit more about sober cindy tell us how it went well in my head i was like we should probably go somewhere else where they have like food this also they didn't really have food at this bar right this is like a lounge okay so she was telling me uh she's really religious while we're there oh okay this is making okay so is that why she chooses not to drink then? Right. I think so. Oh, now Brooke really hates it. You believe in the Lord, too?

Is that OK with you? Because, like, I mean, personally, I probably wouldn't date a super religious person because I'm not a super religious person. And I feel like those are the type of things that you really need to be on the same level with. It's not my jam either, by and large, but this is going to sound really shallow too, but she is so attractive. You're like, oh, absolutely. Let's say grace before we drink. So your Jesus relationship depends on how hot she is. I see.

I'm not saying that I would be interested in her if she wasn't an interesting person, So your Jesus relationship depends on how hot she is. I see. I'm not saying that I would be interested in her if she wasn't an interesting person, but I still feel this way. I'm like, religious? Yeah, okay. It's not what I would prefer, but hey, everyone's got to live their life. Bro, you're in front of a pretty girl. There's just something inside of you that's just like, keep her attention right now.

Okay, so she's locked you back in with her amazing good looks. Where do you move from after the cocktail bar? Well, she was like, do you want to do something wild? What are you going to do? You're going to go youth group? What's wild for a sober church girl? Well, I'll tell you, because I was

like, yeah, of course. And she said, we should should this is true we should go buy a bag of groceries and give it to a homeless person no oh god that's the wildest she's gonna want to leave this is the date from hatton i don't want to swear that's actually sweet it is but not wild as long as you like get the order from the homeless person first like you're not like forcing groceries on them that they don't want or something excuse me no thank you free option they can be lactose intolerant

were you up for that you know i was i actually thought it was kind of an awesome idea yeah it's a good way to bond. But it was late, so the only place it was open was 7-Eleven. Oh, okay. And it was fine. There was still some decent stuff in the 7-Eleven. Just handing out beef sticks to people? Yeah. No, you could still get some pasta there, you know, like mac and cheese.

Day-old sandwich, whatever. And like toiletries and stuff. Oh, that's important. That's actually good. So we got this bag. It was like $58 worth of stuff. Oh, that's important. That's smart. That's actually good. So we got this bag. It was like $58 worth of stuff. Wow, that's a really nice care package. And did you pay to like, you know, show off? I try to pay for everything on the first date.

Good, good, good. So what happens next? So we take this bag out and we're just looking around downtown area for a homeless person to give it to. And there was this man sort of slumped over in an entryway of a business. See, that's more Brooks type, actually. Yeah, Brooks like, oh. I've made out with one really hot homeless guy. Okay.

Really hot. Temperature-wise, he was coming down off something. So you approach him? He was asleep. And so I was like, there is a stoop here protected from the rain so we might as well just put this bag here you know and she's like i want to wake him up no no why would you wake him up you slapped him oh no that's what you went to like at that point she just like what is she wanting praise from the guy like why did she want to wake him up yeah yeah so she does wake

him up she won't take no for an answer actually and so she wakes him up and he's like what what the you know yeah and she was like we got this package for you you know full of food and stuff and he sort of like glanced over and he was like oh you know he's just like sleepy yeah and she repeated it again actually she was like we got this food what does she want yeah and then he said thank you and so that seemed to be you know that was enough and we walked away and she was kind of in a sour mood about it. Oh, no. A sour mood? That he didn't like cry or like overreact about it?

Like jump up and hug her? Like, what does she want? I think she thought that she should have gotten more recognition for the gesture. So that's not typically why you should do good things for other people? Yeah, for people that just record it. So you go and you take the food back and you find them more grateful. I mean, was that a turnoff for you? Because that would have been a turnoff for me.

Yeah. Well, to be fair, I didn't know if that was real. That's what it seemed like. But, you know, people are very complicated. And she could have just been in a strange emotional place. I hear you saying that she's hot all over again. Yeah. And you looked past it.

Okay, so how did that night end? So we didn't kiss or anything, because I also didn't know about, like, religious principles, and so I'm not going to, like, lean in. Yeah. So that was it. And I've texted her a couple of times since then. I called her once. I didn't want to be annoying, but I just never heard back.

Did you think that maybe you weren't grateful enough for the date? Oh, did you text her on a Sunday? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, there's a lot of mistakes that you could have made here, but we're going to call Sober Cindy for you and try and get your second date update right after this. Second date update.

Before we embark on this holy journey over the phone lines in search of second date salvation, let's first give praise to our listener, Ron, who during his first encounter with Cindy shunned the sin of alcohol, took the righteous path of charity to feed and bathe the homeless. I don't think they bathed anyone. They gave him some toothpaste, which is pretty close. And finally, he resisted the alluring temptation of carnal pleasure and did not go in for the first kiss.

For he who takes the righteous path shall be rewarded with a second date, especially if it's with a hot girl named Cindy. In this we pray. Amen. Alright. Thank you, Reverend. Basically, we're going to call Cindy and see why she doesn't want to go out with Ron again.

Ron, do you think that it was pretty obvious that you weren't a super religious dude and that just isn't what she's looking for? I mean, honestly, do you think that, you know, it was pretty obvious that you weren't a super religious dude and that just isn't what she's looking for? I mean, honestly, it could be that simple. You know, we had the conversation at our first drink and I laid all my stuff out on the table. Oh, you did? Oh, that's probably exposed yourself. Yeah, definitely shouldn't be putting your junk up on the table.

Yeah, I mean, religious or non-religious girls both don't appreciate that god don't like that no we're kidding but that's no i'm not they don't like that we're just joking around man but uh let's call cindy and we'll see what ace cindy are you laughing i don't know i just have a feeling she's not gonna like us or that she listens yeah um i don't know do you listen to uh the radio in the morning cindy I mean, like occasionally, sometimes. Yeah. Okay. Well, is one of the stations you listen to have a show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning?

I think I've heard of it. I mean, I've at least heard it like advertised, I guess. Okay. We'll take that as a win. Big Jesus lovers on this show. Maybe your church is paying for it. You're Jewish, Joe. Still, love that guy.

We're all fans. But we heard maybe you're the religious type, Cindy. Is that true? I mean, it's kind of like personal, but I do consider myself a Christian. Oh, well, hallelujah. Why are we starting with that? Hallelujah. Hallelujah. No. or myself a Christian. Oh, well, hallelujah. Okay, because... Why are we starting with the heart age? Oh, hallelujah.

No, we're going to work on that later. I'm practicing. I'm going to be better for you, Cindy. But the reason that we're calling is we're trying to get a little help for one of our listeners that you recently went out on a date with named Ron. Oh, yeah, okay.

That's why we know you're religious is because he had mentioned it when we talked to him. Yes, it's all part of this segment that we're doing called the second date update. And Ron told us all about the evening that you guys spent together, which sounded pretty fun. I mean, yeah, he was a pretty nice guy. Like, I mean, we got along, I guess. I don't know. I guess it was just like a little disappointing. And though in the end, like I tried to do something like really nice for someone. And I don't know. It just didn't turn out exactly how I envisioned, I guess.

He told us a little bit about going to the bar and then going to the 7-Eleven to pick up food and things to feed the homeless, which we thought was a really cool gesture. Yeah, it was. I mean, I'm glad he did that with me. He seemed a little confused at first, but I mean, he was down, which was nice. But I don't know. It just didn't turn out all the way how I had hoped. Are you talking about when you insisted on waking the man up to tell him that you guys were giving him groceries? Is that what you're referring to? Because I told him that he should have slapped the guy awake. So I was on your side. I think we kind of thought you should have left him asleep. But I mean, you know, homeless people do sleep a lot.

So, I mean, like, you know. I never thought about it that way. How dare they? Homeless, well-rested. I don't think that those are two things that usually go hand in hand. I never thought about it that way before. I don't think that's true. Interesting point. So, but like, what was the reason?

That's what we're looking for. What was the reason that you're not calling ron back now after the date i mean i guess he just didn't see him down all the way with like what i was trying to do well what were you trying to do i wanted to let this guy know that we got him groceries and you know we did something for him and i'm trying to help the community and i asked Ron to like take a selfie of him and this man and like of me and him. Oh no. Oh, did he use the wrong filter? I could see how

that would be a pretty big turn off. You are not using charity as clout, are you? No, it's not clout. It's like I just wanted to show the world like what I'm doing and I want to like raise awareness for this man. Like the man didn't want to sleep.

He wanted to keep sleeping. I mean, the man wanted food and I gave it to him. How do you know that you never talked to him before you handed him a bag of groceries? Yeah. Why a homeless person wouldn't want like a bag of food that they don't have to do anything for? Like, it's just like if you want the selfie, why don't you volunteer with an organization and then take a picture of yourself at said organization and tell people to then donate

to said organization? Very specific. Yeah. I mean, I just like, I do this all the time. That's why you donate to charity? No, but like if you're raising awareness, you raise awareness for an organization that is trying to make an impact on the community. You don't go up to random sleeping people

and assume what their wants and needs are. Brooke certainly knows how to exploit homeless people on a professional level, so that's for sure. But you know who never told us any of this is Ron. His side of the story didn't include any pictures, so I'd like to ask him about it, because he's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. Oh, okay.

Hi, Cindy. Hi. Yeah, you know, I didn't mention that because it didn't actually happen. What didn't happen? She asked me and I said no. Why? Why would you say no? You don't want to. What didn't happen? She asked me and I said no. Why? Why would you say no? You don't want to brag about your good deeds?

Selfish of you. I think Cindy actually has a point. You know, I think Cindy's heart is in the right place. I think Cindy wants to raise awareness. Thank you. And this is a way to do that. Is it though? But I'm not, but it can come across as being, you know, predatory.

Predatory? Yeah, there's like a border here. I mean, Brooke, he's not just saying this because Cindy's super hot, right? I don't think that she was thinking of her heart. I think he was thinking all the stuff that's in front of her heart. Yeah. He's never going to get to touch until they're married. So I don't know why.

Good point. I mean, come on, Ron. You said no because it's the wrong thing to do. Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. I think people have different standards that they hold themselves to. Okay. Well, before I offer to send you guys out again, I feel like maybe first you should, Ron, apologize to Cindy for not taking that selfie.

Jeffrey, you're being sarcastic. I think Brooke should apologize to Cindy. Jeffrey is being sarcastic. I am trying to do my job and make the love connection happen, Brooke. I will go to any lengths to make sure that our two listeners get to go out. I know you don't care about love, but I do. I mean, you know what? Like, apology would actually be really nice.

No! Apologize for not taking a picture. That would be the holy thing. Ron, go ahead. The holy thing. We are ready. We are ready to hear your apology. Why are your arms spread open wide?

Go ahead, Ron. I honestly apologize apologize i am sorry what are you sorry for ron for not exploiting a man who was asleep well you know honestly there was no actual exploitation happening everybody's got their own path everyone's's on their own journey. We all get to heaven on different buses, right? That's true. We have to take a bus. Lex is out.

Let's take the bus journey to date number two, because Cindy, now that you've got your apology, we would like to offer to send you out on another date with Ron. Well, thank you, Ron, for that apology. I appreciate it. I know it. I know it seems shallow, and these radio hosts that are judging me through the phone

think what I am trying to do is shallow. Standing up for you is what I just did. Exactly. I'm trying to inspire, and I, you know, thank you, Ron, for being there with me and trying to help me with my vision. So are you going out with him again? Are you saying yes? Once the picture hits a million, just cut her off.

I think your heart's in the right place, and I think I'd be interested to give you another chance. Oh, wow. Another charity. Ron. Ron, you still up for this? Yeah, absolutely. I'm so happy to hear you say that. Hallelujah! Oh, what are we going to send him down to?

Hava Nagila, Hava down to? Hava Nagila Hava Nagila Hava Let's combine religions. We're all happy together. Yeah, Jeff's singing from a different bus. See you in heaven, everybody.

I don't know. I'm getting on Jeff's bus. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. You know what? Again? You're going to just stick with the music.

Do I feel bad that I put our listener on the spot there by asking him to apologize for not taking a selfie with the homeless man? You should. No, I don't. Why? Yes, you did. You were being sarcastic the whole time. And she thought you were being sincere. Brooke, my charity to the world is hooking up regular dudes with smoking hot ladies.

Yeah, right. world is hooking up regular dudes with smoking hot ladies. No matter if they have to grovel or beg or go against their own belief system. Dude, they're not even going to hook up, Jeff. She's super religious. I don't know. You guys always say the religious ones are freaks in the sheets. I don't say that.

You told me that. I think they say that. They'll figure out something to do, for sure. By the way, I want to be clear. I never told him to apologize. I just gave him the avenue to do it himself. And you could tell just how attractive Cindy was because Ron could not have jumped on that freeway faster.

It's interesting how quickly our moral compass just dissolves in the face of a nice set. I mean, I'll switch religions if I grow hot enough. But you know what? If you would like to become our next charity case, so we could hook you up with that hot guy or gal who got away, then email

the show and maybe we'll convince you to apologize with ulterior motives. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year? Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from

the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics

entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.