Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Lick My Neck

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Out of every Second Date we’ve done this year, TODAY’S might be the most MEMORABLE of the bunch.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Second date Update. When listeners submit requests for phone taps or second date updates, they'll send us an email, or you can also fill out a little questionnaire on our website. Yeah, we have a submit form. You actually go to brookandjeffrey.com slash submit.

Yeah. That's almost too easy, Brooke. If you do it, there's a section on there where we ask people to tell us a little bit about themselves so that we can get an idea of who they are. And the guy on the phone today wrote in the About Me section, he alligator wrestles on the weekends, has a collection of inflatable blow-up dolls, and used to drive submarines for Russia until they fired him when he opened a window

underwater and they didn't like that. Shut up. He's joking. I don't know if he was joking. I'm just going to take him at his word for it. I like it. Please welcome disgraced Russian submarine captain Eric to the show. Hello.

Hello. Not even an accent. Wow. Eric's not a very Russian name and yeah, I don't detect any Russian accent. You must be quite the spy now. He says Don. Yeah. I mean, I get it.

Like, you'd want fresh air if you were on a submarine. Right. You know, makes sense. Brampton here. That is so funny, Eric. I'm guessing some of that about me section wasn't 100% true. Well, I think you can all agree it gets a little stuffy with all the men on a submarine okay yeah so that part was yeah yeah okay gotcha gotcha hey thanks for the laugh

already like we we didn't even get you on the phone before i started laughing yeah brooke it doesn't laugh that hard at any of my jokes so you should probably be in my role but we i know you wanted to do a second date update here. You went out with a woman recently? I do, yes. I went out with a very lovely woman by the name of Dana. And we had what I thought was a terrific date. Can I ask real quick, did you guys meet on a dating app? We did.

Does your dating app include the Russian submarine information? I don't remember whether I included that on the app. I mean, you know, I've got so many things that I use. It may have. I don't recall. So what stood out to you about Dana? Well, there was one particular photo that I really liked. It was part of the city that's near and dear to me.

And I saw her sitting there and it just really attracted me to her. Oh, that's interesting. Like she obviously loves something you love. Is it the sewer where you wrestle alligators is that the area of the city well you know what as funny as that would be no really we we uh connected on travel as probably the main thing oh okay he was a fan of that and i had a lot of photos from my travel experiences. I'm not to say I'm the around-the-world-in-80-days guy or anything, but I've been to a number of countries that I've enjoyed. So which country did you travel to for your first date?

Wouldn't that be cool if it was that exotic? That would be cool. Oh, my God. Or did you go simpler with it? Well, no, we went much simpler, and and really i don't want to name names we were mostly on opposite sides of the city and she set it up uh she was willing to come toward my side of the city to uh a small place i hadn't heard of oh she found the spot that was near you it was closer to me i wouldn't say near me but definitely closer to me she came wouldn't say near me, but definitely closer to me. She came more than

halfway to meet me. Okay. Was it like a bar or restaurant? Where were we at? It was a restaurant. It was a very small, independent Italian restaurant. Olive Garden. Independent. It was lovely weather. We sat outside, had a glass of wine, had dinner, just rehashed some of what we had talked about on our initial phone calls. Okay. What was the vibe between you two? I was very much attracted to her,

and I very much thought she was attracted to me. Okay. Based on what? What was there, like, a moment or, like, something that happened that gave you that feeling? Oh. That she was attracted to me? Nothing.

Well, perhaps you read into this what you think, but... I love that she showed up, Jeffrey. She was there and she didn't leave, so she must be at least sort of into it. A couple times when I talked, she responded. When she went to the restroom, she actually came back. Yeah. Wow.

Hey, look at us. I mean, I know that sounds sounds crazy but a lot of these second dates end with them going to the bathroom and never coming back when will she be back from the restroom yeah okay i do want to mention i do want to mention the moment that you asked for and you can tell me what you think of this that is when it was time to leave i had such an enjoyable time with her that we got up to leave and she was standing in front of me her hair was up okay and the back of her bare neck was in front of me and i just couldn't help it i bent down and i gave her a kiss on the neck on the on the back of her neck like she didn't even see you coming interesting did not see me coming that just made me like flinch my neck as crazy as it

sounds or creepy as it sounds she turned around and smiled are you sure it wasn't a cringe yeah i am sure because some things happened later on i don't want to go into detail it was nothing that she kissed the back of your leg so So you started? No, not at all. He starts top, she starts down. Especially if you're in the middle. We got to know each other a little bit better. We were slightly more intimate than that. Well, maybe you did find a good match

because my gut reaction to somebody doing that would probably be like turn around an elbow in the face or something. You know what's bad? When Brooke says she isn't into it because she hasn't gotten any action for years. So she should be open to anything, honestly. Lick my neck. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. Yeah, maybe that's the reason why she's not reaching back to me. Okay. It's hard to think though, because she did. I'm assuming you're saying made out with you later. Yes, that was it exactly. I kissed her as tenderly as I could, and she certainly wasn't against it.

Okay. The more you describe your kissing, the less I like it. The tender neck kiss sounds awful. We're going to go into as little description as possible when we call her, and then we'll come back, get your second hopefully if she answers can we call her tenderly no i don't know okay sorry i think she's had enough tender stuff happening over the last few hours we'll come back get your second date update right after this hold on second date update you know for our social media yeah i feel like we don't do quite enough to describe what's happening in these second date phone calls. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I mean, because we obviously can't have the listener on video. Right. I think we need to give people more of a visual of what happened on Eric's date the other night. So we're going to start rolling some video right here in the studio and have Brooke get up out of her seat. Wait, me? And walk around to Alexis and tenderly kiss her on the back of the neck the same way that Eric did to Dana on his birthday.

This is a wine imposter. It's a representative Italian night. I have a feeling, Alexis, you're going to like this way more than you think you will. I don't think so, actually. We've had this request on the text board for years. I've just eaten lunch recently, too. But you might go back after this happens More than you think you will You might go back after this happens and start kissing all of your female roommates on the back of the neck this might be a new Like bonding activity my breath is hot

I've never seen this excited Here comes Brooks doing a little saunter dance over behind Alexis Brooke this excited. I bet you can feel me coming from like four inches away. All right, here comes Brooke doing a little saunter dance over behind Alexis. Alexis, expose your neck to her, please. She's digging through her hair. I'm so scared. It's not going to work. It's not going to work?

Too much hair. Thank God. Should we get the scissors out? No, no, no. I'm just going to let you know I'm turned off. You're turned off? That's so insulting. Dude, your neck is kind of hairy.

We tried. The girls in the studio do think, though, that's the reason that Eric is not getting a call back. Because that was his go-to move at the restaurant. It was anything like what I just felt. I can't imagine being Eric and making that decision to make that happen. Eric, they're thinking that might be the reason that she's not calling you back. I certainly hope not. At the time, it seemed like the thing to do. Had you pulled that move before or is this a first time for you?

That's a good question. No, first and only time. I couldn't help myself. I was so attracted to her. That's honestly better. Because she had bent down, leaving her neck a little bit exposed in like a shark on shark week. Eric swam out from behind one of the tables and just planted one on her open neck. There were no teeth involved that time.

No teeth. I mean, they did make out later, so she wasn't completely turned off. Must have been sort of into it. Those Italian wines at that restaurant must have hit pretty hard. I need some of that right now. Now we got to call Dana. Here we go. I'm going to dial her number right now.

We'll see if she picks up. Hello? Hey, we're looking for Dana. Yes, who's this? This is a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. That's why I said we. Hi. There's more people here.

Okay. Hi. Can I help you? Yeah. We're doing a segment called A Second Date Update, and we're trying to help a guy that you went out with get in touch with you again so that you guys can meet up one more time um i'm not sure i'm interested in participating in this to be honest with you well maybe it will be when you find out who it is you know because as far as we've heard it was a great night at

least according to eric oh my god ital Eric? Yeah, yeah, I got it. What did you think about the date? I don't know. I mean, it was going okay. But I don't know. After we hung out, I was kind of just reflecting on the whole date thing. And he just seemed overly comfortable and experienced, like, more than I expected and more than other guys that I've met on this app have been experienced like he seems really used to dating like he just did

this all the time like he's an adult male it's not awkward yeah i feel like he would want somebody who feels comfortable around you i guess i'm not describing it, I'm talking more of like a gigolo type of vibe. Really? A gigolo? Oh. Oh, like an escort? Wait. Like, what do you mean? The same Eric that we were talking about who uses the word tender a lot.

Yeah, so I went home and I was telling my roommate about it and she told me that there's this Facebook page called Are We Dating the Same Guy? Do you know what that is? Oh, yeah. Every girl in the world is a part of this.

No, I don't know what that is. I thought you were going to say, and my roommate told me she hired him for me. What's Are We Dating the Same Guy? So Are We Dating the Same Guy is this thing on Facebook where, like, it's basically mainly women. And you post a picture of the guy you're dating. And you see if anybody in there is also dating the same guy to see if he's like, you know, dating multiple people at the same time. Yeah. See if he's a player, yeah.

My roommate convinced me to post a picture on it. I was like, whatever. Doesn't seem like a bad idea. I don't know. That page seems pretty toxic. I've seen it. Alexis has shown it to me. And it's like, it's sketch.

I bet Eric came back with glowing reviews. I don't think any woman on that page says one nice thing about any dude ever. It's never like, here's the one that got away, ladies. No, no, no. Sometimes it says, I don't know him. I haven't heard anything. Maybe nobody said anything. Did you get any responses?

Any feedback? Well, the interesting response is that there were people that said that they've been out with him on dates before and whatever. But the most shocking part was that, like, three other women have commented saying that he kissed them on the back of the neck. And I didn't even mention it in my post. What? Yeah, like, so one girl comments in the picture saying that she had been out with him and he does this weird, super weird, like, back of the neck kiss. And then two other girls comment under that, like, oh my gosh, me too.

He told us that he had never used that move on any other woman before you, that you inspired him to do it. It was honestly so weird and so creepy. And it's like, this is like his calling card. I love that Jeffrey's so upset. Like you got lied to. I do. It's like Jeff is upset.

First I find out he's not really a Russian submarine captain. Now I find out he's actually kissing multiple women on the back of the neck. What are you going to tell me next? That he's secretly on the other line listening wanting to talk to you? Is he a spy? Because he is. He's there. I'm sorry. She's having a phone.

Yeah. Sorry, girl. That's how the segment works. I'm sorry, Dana. Eric, you there? Hello, Dana. Hello. I, girl. That's how this segment works. I'm sorry, Dana. Yeah. Eric, you there? Hello, Dana. Hello. Hello. I'm here. Eric.

This is almost as awkward as the neck kiss. You told us that you didn't kiss anybody else. Is this just something you do to everyone? No, not at all. It was only you that what we had during the dinner i couldn't control myself and there you were eric lovely eric i literally just said on the radio that three other women have said the same exact thing so without her prompting them. Yeah. Well, I don't know what to say to that. All I know is I was so overtaken. Just own up to it, Eric.

It's a dumb move that you used that you thought was romantic. Well, I don't think it was a dumb move. I mean, it certainly progressed the date. That's true. Yeah. I mean, you did stick around after the neck kiss, Dana. We thought it was true. I only stuck around because I thought it was only me.

I didn't know he was a serial neck kisser going around the city. Wait, you would have been okay if it was only you. It seemed like a spontaneous romantic moment. That's no. Eric, we're running out of time here. So I'm going to give you 20 seconds to talk to Dana. You can tell her whatever you want to say and try and convince her that you are really into her and you want to go out with her one more time. Go ahead.

Dana, I had such a lovely time with you, and I know you enjoyed being with me, too. Oh. Please never mind whatever else it is that you're hearing. Please give us another chance. I know if we spend some more time together that you're hearing please give us another chance i know if we spend some more time together that you're going to enjoy it i really think there's something there it's like he read a he read a bad like sales book on like always always be closing i felt like it was anthony hopkins reading a line from silence of the lands it's up to you dana would you like to go out with

eric one more time we would pay for that date. I mean, look, it was a little bit weird that other girls said it, but up until that point, I was totally fine with it. But once you got on and denied that other girls said that, now you're just a creepy and a liar. Like, now it's just a lie. See, bro, Brooke was right. She just can't believe it.

It can only be one. It's a triangle thing, right? Eric, I'm sorry, man. We tried for you. And I really was hoping for a different outcome. Octane, are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. Please stop dating women in this town.

They all know about it. You're going to have to find a new move, I think, dude. You're going to have to go for a different part of the body, maybe behind the ears. No, no, dude. You're going to have to go for a different part of the body. Maybe behind the ear or something. No, no. That's his go-to. He's the sneak attack guy. Drop the go-tos.

Nobody should have a go-to move. It's weird. Everyone kisses on the lips. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Well, gentlemen, take surprise back-of-the-neck kiss out of your Rolodex of first date moves. Dang it, Jeff. Eric ruined it for us. Oh, Eric's the one that did it.

Yeah, I picture in my mind at least like 700 men taking out a little black book, giant red marker crossing it off. I was actually thinking this as a bro with one of my homies, and I'm like, dude, how was your date last night? And if he said, well, I got a neck kiss, I would be worried. I would not congratulate. I mean, maybe when you're kissing and you move down, it's like just that. No, but not the back of the neck.

The front of the neck. That's where we're starting. Well, the problem with the kiss was not that it isn't sexy. That's true. It's too played out. Eric has done it to too many women in this city. I mean, that was her issue. That was her.

She liked it. It's not unique anymore. It's like gently brushing the hair out of a girl's face. Everybody's done it. It's not sweet. Leave that hair there. Don't touch my hair. I'm covering my face.

I don't want to see you for a reason. Actually, stay 20 feet away from Alexis the entire day. I combed my bangs down like Sia on purpose. I feel like Alexis would flinch. Like, ah! Yeah, she would. Even though that move is now officially not allowed anymore. No more neck kisses.

There's plenty of other things you can go with. Plenty of other ways you can screw things up. And we're going to be there for you. We'll help you. Through all the mistakes. We'll help you get back on track. Email the show. We'll call that person who isn't calling you back. You can check out all of our second date podcasts.

Learn all the mistakes people have made in their past. Wherever you get your podcasts at Brooke and Jeffrey. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini

because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will, too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.