Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Lobster Lunges

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

The guy in today’s Second Date knew a WEIRD amount of personal info about his date before they met up. He says it’s not creepy and entirely REASONABLE. Judge for yourself in the podcast! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. A lot of people say dating in the workplace is a big no-no. Yeah. But then more people get married in the workplace than ever. Brooke learned that the really, really hard way. But what if you're dating in your live space?

Like with your roommate? No, I'm not saying your roommate. I'm saying like in the same building as where you live. I think that's fine. If that goes wrong, it's not going to be awkward, right? I think it's all fine. So I don't know if I'm the one to ask. Brooks, like hump everyone.

I mean, that's the situation that our new friend Brian is in. And I want to get all the deets on it. Brian, what's up, man? Can I call you Dirty B? What? Yeah, sure. All right. You agreed to that, Brian.

Brooke's just jealous because you took her nickname. All right, Dirty B, tell us about the girl that you met. What's her name? Her name's Stephanie. Okay. What floor does she live on? She lives on the ground floor. Oh.

Okay. She's a budget girl. I see. Lives dangerously. Face in the alley. Well, I would know the budget because, you see, I'm the resident manager of the building. Oh, bro. This just made it extra weird.

Yeah, that's different than just living in the same building. I don't know. That's a lot of power that you have. Yeah, you control stuff. Dude, you can get keys to your apartment and just go in. Why would your head go there? Creepy ideas. That sounds like something I'd think of first before you.

That's not how you met Stephanie, right? You thought he was in her place? Just waiting in her living room? She got home from work? Oh, man, this is going to go south quick then. Oh, sorry. We're all piling up. You are dirty bee.

Sorry. Go ahead. Tell us about how you and Stephanie met. Well, we met because she's a new tenant. Right. I'm the one who showed her the unit. I'm the one who filled out her lease. And did you have a crush on her as soon as you saw her?

Oh, I don't know if I want to admit this. So that's a yes. Yeah. Before she even came in, sometimes when tenants, you know, I'll pre-screen them. And every once in a while, I'll look up their name because they'll be like, they'll pre-qualify over online. And I did see her on social media. And I was like, oh, look at this. So you thought she was hot and you're like, pre-qualified!

It's basically every once in a while when there's a tenant whose name is female and is in this right age range. It's a background check. A very, very detailed, deep dive on a background check. You want to make sure that there's a real person coming in and that they're not lying about who they are and their

position and stuff. A lot of people do it. Her last status is like, I burned my old apartment down. Got to look for a new one. So what was your read on Stephanie? So, I mean, she looked very presentable. So I'm, you know, we went through the process. She wanted to get the place. I said, great. And then I was kind of crushing on her a little bit. And, and then I noticed on her application where she works, because she has a couple different jobs, but one of them is this yoga place. So I might have shown up at the yoga place. I'm with you.

Still with you, man. If you know what you want, you got to go out and get it. I think Ursula the Sea Witch said that. So keep going. You're not doing anything illegal here. Just want to say, you can legally go to a yoga studio. How long has Stephanie lived in the building at this point? This is

probably two weeks in. Oh, really quick that you're moving things forward. Okay. Well, I'm just going to a yoga place. What was her reaction when she saw you in her yoga studio? Well, she actually didn't really recognize me. She was looking at me, but she wasn't immediately like, oh my god,

Brian. Why would she, bro? Yeah, I feel like you want to avoid your landlord at all costs. Yeah, I didn't think of that, Alexis. It may be the opposite, where she's like, oh my god, my landlord's here. I don't know, you only met him once for the walkthrough, basically, of the place and handing the keys over. Well, that was the reaction Brian was hoping to get right clearly so you know i'm not a bad looking guy so it's not

like i'm some you know weird living in the basement kind of you know landlord you're in their shirtless with yoga pants on like oh i didn't see you here yeah i'm there and i haven't really done this yoga before i mean i was shocked how hard it was to hold certain poses or even to get into them. So I'm sweating. I'm shaking. Yeah. And obviously she sees me. And then she then she recognizes me.

She's like, wait, are you? Wait, don't you? Aren't you? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. She recognized you when you were in the pretzel position, but not when you were standing up. Right. So I felt kind of stupid about obviously, you know, not being a successful practitioner, but. Practitioner.

She ended up walking with me back. Oh, that's good. And on the way back, you know, I asked her if she wanted to get a bite, if she was if she was hungry. OK, so you made them you made the transition to asking her out on a date. I sure did. She said yes. We went to dinner. I felt like it was

a fun date. We didn't really talk about anything too deep. We didn't get into any subjects that were stimulating and unique. We just kind of generally spoke can i ask what type of uh food did you go grab with her are you worried he's inexperienced with that too no it needs to be hot girl food like sushi or something we had seafood we went to a really nice seafood place okay that's classy yeah it is classy and you're saying that you guys

didn't get into deep conversation but i think that that's okay on a first date. Like, what was the vibe by the end of the night? You know, I felt like we were getting along. We definitely laughed. We were joking about a few different things. Nice. And I wasn't sure exactly how it was going to end. So we were walking back.

Obviously, we were going to the same place. Right. I mean, it's so easy to like i forgot come over to my place this is where you pulled out the keys to her apartment let me let you into your place yeah so i uh you know i wasn't sure if maybe there was going to be like a kiss or something but she pretty quickly was like thank you so much for the night. And then, boom, the doors closed. Curtains of the window are shut. That's so funny.

That's funny. You don't have to kiss. She's on the ground floor. You always got to shut your curtains when you're down there. Did you walk around and look through her windows? She did the deadbolt.

Started nailing the door shut. That doesn't sound like the best ending to the night. But, again, it's okay to not kiss on the first date. I'm actually with Jose on this one. It doesn't always happen the best ending to the night. But again, it's okay to not kiss on the first date. I'm actually with Jose on this one. It doesn't always happen.

Maybe she was nervous. She could have been intimidated. Who knows? Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like what it is. We'll confirm that when we reach out to her and get your second date update right after this. Second date update.

We're on the phone with Brian, the property manager with restraint. What? Soon to turn into a restraining order, possibly. Oh, my God. This is going so hard on him. For now, he's using restraint and not using the company keys to enter his date's apartment. Yeah, because that is highly illegal. Very illegal.

I'm giving him a bad time. We all are. We were. Go on into her apartment, bro. He's been a really, really good sport, even though we've been joking around with him. He did ask out one of his tenants, though. They went out to a nice seafood place, had a great time. But the end of the night was kind of brief.

She just said, thank you for dinner and shut the door to her apartment pretty quickly. Yeah. And that was pretty much the end of it. Now he's looking to us for answers. By the way, can we just ask real quick, have you not run into her in the building at all since your date? Well, I saw her leaving once, but I don't think she saw me. With your binoculars, you respond? Yeah.

She's like, I was in a bush. She was climbing up down through the window? Stop it. I'm just kidding, man. She doesn't use her front door anymore after that date. Yeah, dude. Don't worry. We will talk you up to her.

Yes, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're about to call her, but I am not going to mention, and I don't think anyone in this room should mention that Brian found out where she worked from the application. No. No. Because that is not going to come off well. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah. Even though it was a background check, it definitely looks really bad. I mean, honestly, if you want to keep up that lie, you need to keep going to yoga, which would probably be good for you. It sounds like your hips are very tight. Kind of a win-win.

Yeah. On a scale of 1 to 10, how loose are your hips? I'd give it a nice 7. Wow. I'm losing. I perked you wrong, but... It's pretty good. All right.

All right. Keep in that yoga class, then. Let's try and get you a date. All right, here we go. I'm going to call her right now. Hello? Hi, is this Stephanie? Yes. Hey, Stephanie, we heard you teach a yoga class, and we're very tight-hipped people over here we're hoping that we could be stretched out a little bit this is where we're starting

yeah why not hi stephanie hi yeah we were recommended to you by someone who's taken your class before named brian um sorry are you guys trying to call the studio? No. No, we were giving your direct line from Brian because we're trying not just to sign up for yoga class, but also trying to figure out if we could get you back on another date with him. Yeah.

We didn't mention we're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I thought that might come off a little weird. So Brian reached out to us because he told us a little bit about the day that you two hung out. And the lovely seafood dinner that you went to. Okay, I'm curious as to what all you heard.

Pretty simple stuff, honestly. To give you a snapshot of it is that he ended up uh meeting you and taking your yoga class then you parlayed that into a seafood dinner date date and then after that he walked you home he said conversation was light people were laughing well he was laughing oh okay he's a funny guy laughing not really i mean i guess we have different sense of humor. Okay. Okay. Did you find him unfunny?

Yeah, kind of. Ah. Well, that's not good. Can you tell us what happened? Well, he took my yoga class, and it took me a minute to, like, notice it was him. And I felt really bad for him because he was really struggling, you know? But I gave him some kudos for making it through the whole class. Yeah, just even showing up, right?

Yeah, exactly. And then, you know, he asked me out to dinner and told me that he knew about this really nice seafood restaurant and, like, was hyping me up and inviting me out. Yeah, you know, and I was excited, all right. So we get to the seafood restaurant, and it's a red lobster. Oh. Hey, my grandpa still thinks those are really, really nice.

Yeah. Sounds like you were unimpressed. I mean, he kept talking about, like, the best seafood. He did all this research online, and they get all this fresh, everything fresh every day. Well, but, I i mean come on he tried and that's his opinion of something nice you know like maybe he's not a guy who is a real foodie right and his defense it was fresh when they caught it and then they freeze it and they mail it you gotta ask the name of the restaurant before you go on a date i guess i guess but you mentioned though that he was laughing during the date and you

weren't what was that about so at one point i was like i asked him if it was just coincidence that he showed up to my yoga class oh you asked him what do you say i did he got really weird and he started playing with his lobster and putting it in yoga positions going look a downward lobster you didn't laugh at that that's pretty funny just the visual not when I'm asking him a serious question

and he's like diverting it by trying to be funny maybe with the bib on it comes off a little childish crayfish and a sun salutation not funny I mean okay he tried to make a funny joke and it didn't on it comes off a little childish. A crayfish and a sun salutation. Not funny. I mean, okay. I mean, he tried to make a funny joke and it didn't land. Oh my God. Is that really

not worth giving him another chance? It's still making me laugh. I know. Prongs and mountain pose. Boy, these shrimp have bad backs. All of them are bent over. Right? Am I right? You know, and if that wasn't bad enough, something else happened. What happened? You know, I if that wasn't bad enough, something else happened. Oh, what happened?

Okay. Okay. I, you know, I mean, I've, I've, I've heard enough, I think. Oh, I guess you better tell her. Hi, Brian. Stephanie, Brian is, has been actually listening on the other line this whole time. That's great. He's supposed to wait, but.

That's awesome. Sorry. Yeah, he's there. I think he needed to hear it, Stephanie Stephanie I want to hear the rest of the story Yeah, me too Oh yeah, what else happened? I don't need to hear the rest of the story I think I'm good

I think I got the gist of it Oh Do you know what she's going to say? I would be so Yeah, of course he doesn't want to hear the rest of it Because he probably doesn't want me to say it on the radio Why? What'd you do, bro?

Did he do something inappropriate? I didn't do anything inappropriate, okay? He stuck me with the bill. Oh. Oh. Like stuck the bill to your body or made you pay? No, like I paid for dinner. Oh.

Brian. You're the one that asked her out. You're the one that picked the spot. Yeah. Okay, my question is what's wrong with that? What? He invited me up. Yeah.

Look, I don't make, I mean, I get, like, compensation for certain things, you know, discounted rent, et cetera. But, you know, like, I know how much Stephanie makes from her application. What? Well, no, but hear me out. I know it sounds bad, but she has a bunch of side hustles. She has, like, main income. What does that have anything to do with anything? That's really creepy that you know that

I make more than you. Oh, yeah. I don't know if it's creepy. He saw it on your application to live there. That doesn't matter. Yeah, it's weird. That doesn't matter. So then that confirms that he didn't just randomly step into my yoga class. Can't help you there.

Put the pieces together. Brian, any comments on that? Look, I was. No, there's nothing to look at. You're ratchet. Oh, he's a handy with a ratchet. I don't think she still used it. I was going to pay.

I actually had a coupon for red lobster that I had with me that I did not pull out. I was like, oh, that's going to look cheap. Here's the thing, Brian. If you can't afford Red Lobster, fine. Just pick another date. I can afford Red Lobster. I just figured that she has the means. I mean, I already paid for like the yoga class, which I imagine went directly to her.

Unbelievable. That's that's unbelievable. Oh, that's a good point. He technically did pay you directly. That is not how instruction works. OK, there's a building. There's a studio you have to pay for. There's insurance. Jose, Alexis and I are all on the same page here.

You're the one who's on the outlier against Brian for some reason. I just I don't understand it. A devoted and caring listener. When everything's said and done, I think I paid almost $60 for everything because I had, there was like a rental thing.

I had water. I had a protein drink. A mat. A protein drink. You overcharged him. Yeah. Stephanie. Yeah.

I don't think that's helping. Now, before I offer to send you guys out on another date, would you mind paying Brian back first for the overpass yoga class? You have the money. Come on. We're kidding. Well, then let's just offer to send you guys out on a date then. Oh, and we'll pay for it.

Yes. No, I'm good Chancellor Brian throw down a coupon Brian I'm sorry, man. It sounds like we can't get you another date here But at the very least would you mind sending us a video of you putting that lobster into downward lobster? We could put it up on our on our page I mean, I'll send you guys a new video I guess but yeah, he can't stop thinking about it. It sounds really funny. We could put it up on our page. A little clause. I mean, I'll send you guys a new video, I guess. Yeah, he can't afford lobster right now.

I'll go back on payday. I know we're supposed to talk at this point about the date and the people on it, but maybe this time we should take a second and critique ourselves. Were we too mean? I mean, we're trying to have fun and be entertaining and joke around with our callers. That's our job. But maybe is it coming off as like a roast? I mean, it's when we all are on the same side. Did he not deserve it?

He took her to Red Lobster and made her pay. Like, come on, Jeff. I just think overall we need to be, we need to go a little gentler, a little softer. I was with you in the beginning. I'm kind of going against you now. These are our listeners.

If you're listening right now and you want a second date, you know we joke around like it's expected to be jokes. But you also have to have a critical stance of what you're doing wrong here. And those are clearly things

he was doing wrong. Those are all, that's absolutely all true, 100%. Yeah. But I do think I want to be able to go a little softer. So stick around to hear

Jeff Go Soft, and we're going to put that up on the website. Just make sure you listen to that. No one is asking for that. No one. We're going to get record numbers

on our site now. I don't think so. If you want to hear any of our second dates, make sure you head over to your favorite podcast hub and find us, at Brooke and Jeffrey. Just don't go to JeffGoSoft.com.

Stop it, both of you. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because

you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears

with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline

roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts