Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Male Model Mishap

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

Turns out it's hard being beautiful...Because a successful male model needs OUR HELP today. He made his date so awkward they even his good looks can't save him!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. I think a great strategy to match with more people online is to just tell them that you recently moved here. Oh my God, that's genius, Jeffrey. That's the smartest thing you've ever said. Even if it's not true.

Right. Just like, uh, bonjourno. Okay. I'm le Jeffrey. No. Uh, bon swallow. What? I mean, that will get you some matches.

I don't know if it'll get you a relationship. Yeah, no matter what. Whatever the truth is, more people are going to want to hang out with you if they think you just moved. Unless you do that. I don't know. That'll still get you a lot of messages. Oh, okay. But one of our listeners, Damon, recently met a girl who said that she just moved into his area,

and they ended up going on a date. Damon needs our help today. So, Damon, how you doing, man? Hey, good morning. Oh, man. Is that why you swiped on her profile? You're like, yes, she doesn't know anybody. Well, on her profile, it said, like, looking to meet people.

And I was like, okay, that sounds good to me. I don't know if, like, a bunch of other guys were thinking that, too. But, so, I don't know. It is kind of fun to think about anybody, dating or not, to be like, oh, I'm new in town. Like, oh, my gosh, let me show you around. These are the best restaurants. Well, not only that, because I don't know if you've ever been new in town anywhere. I haven't, no.

When you're new in town, you will say yes to any invitation. Yeah. Because you have no friends. Yeah. Like, you just have to, and then you weed it out later. Oh, so you're saying she had to say yes to me. Yes. You won't get rejected.

Yeah. I don't know, Damon, what did you and, did we get her name? What's her name? Millie. Millie. That's a cute name. That does sound like a foreign name. Is she foreign?

My name is Millie. It sounds very... She's not from a different country. She's from a cute name. That does sound like a foreign name. Is she foreign? My name is Millie. It sounds very... She's not from a different country. She's from a different city. No cool accent. Oh, man. I was hoping for a cool accent. So what did you and Millie end up doing for your date?

Literally what you said. I was like, hey, if you want somebody to show you around, I'm your guy. Totally. But there's some pressure there, right? Because this is her new city. She wants to be somewhat impressed. Like, if you're just taking her to the hole in the wall that you go get a drink at every once in a while, I don't know. You have to take her to the nice places in the city?

Well, I just think, like, you've got to show her some stuff, right? No, you can't get her, like, the best pizza slice in town. Be like, look, this place is called Pizza Hut. It is the hole in the wall. There's, like, a great one back there. No, all I'm saying is you have to put some forethought into it. Did you do some planning beforehand? like look this place is called pizza hut it is the hole in the wall there's like a gravel back there no all i'm saying is you have to put some forethought into it did you do some planning beforehand i did there's like this really cool it's a bar slash restaurant but it has they brew their own beer right on the premises which is awesome oh those are cool that's sweet yeah so

what was it like when you showed up i'm'm guessing you met her there. We did meet there, actually, yeah. And I thought the vibe was good. She seemed impressed by the place. And, you know, I thought she was friendly, outgoing, smart. So I was like, I definitely need to be the first person because she was not going to be on this dating app for very long. That's for sure. Okay.

So did the entire date happen at this bar brewery place? It did not actually. It started there, and I don't know what I said or did, but we ended up back at my place. Okay. Do you mean you don't know what you said like you were so drunk you can't remember, or it just happened naturally? It's actually a valid question. I blacked out, and I guess I won the lottery. I'm not sure what happened. Well, that's great great so you got her back to your place how did that go

well here's the thing i thought because okay like full disclosure i do some modeling i've done some modeling in the past okay so i was like hey if you want you can see my portfolio and i have like some tasteful pictures or not like whatever. Right now, again, I feel like we need to get clarity. Is this modeling like you are a male model or is this like modeling like check out my toy boats that I've built? A male model, but I'm not like an underwear model. I do lifestyle modeling, which is like, you know, I'll be on a train like eating, eating peanuts, or I'll be reading a book in a library. Yeah, I was once on the brochure for my mom's resort that she works at.

Wow. Actually, twice. What were you doing in the brochure? One, I was swimming. Another one, playing mini golf. Oh, that sounds like a cool resort. That's range that you have there with the modeling pictures. You got competition, buddy.

You also got a model over here. Coming for your job. So did she seem impressed? That's the thing is she did not. I thought that would kind of seal the deal and make her like really impressed. Like, wow, this guy's a male model. And I think she said like, you're no Zoolander. And she kind of was like, made fun of it a little bit.

Not a lot. But like, I was expecting her to be really impressed. Yeah, you fit the stereotype of a male model, though, looking at your own photos on a date. It's just kind of... Or you look at it like this. It's a good sign that she's able to, like, tease you about it, right?

True. Because, like, that's, like, a healthy relationship, just like a friendship would be. Like, you can, you know, joke around, poke fun a little bit. It doesn't mean that she didn't like what you were doing. Maybe she was just being fun. That's not the vibe I got. I don know are you roasting or flirting yeah i guess the

telltale sign of what she was really feeling is what happened after you closed the portfolio well we fooled around a little bit but not like crazy everything right and she spent the night but she was like yeah actually i do have to meet a friend later so she left i think at like nine o'clock or something and that's pretty late though still that's sketchy why new to town and she already has a friend but maybe she knows one person when she moved into town that often can be the case yeah it's a vampire he only kicks it at night. Alright, so how long has it been since you last spoke with Millie?

It's been like about, I would say a week and a half. You know, text, no response. And she has her read receipts on. So I saw that she saw the text. Yeah, that's too long. Why would you have your read receipts on? To prove a point. Yeah, I guess. To prove a point? To show dominance?

I hope she answers the phone when we try and call her. to prove a point. Yeah, I guess. To prove a point? To show dominance? Yeah, duh. I hope she answers the phone when we try and call her. We'll see what happens when we do your second date update right after this. Damon, from the moment you told us you were a male model, you had to know that this was coming.

What? Okay. I challenge you to a walk-off. Oh. Yes. Oh, no. You and me

behind the abandoned Dairy Queen on Highway 1 at 5 p.m. No later. We need to get our 15 hours of daily beauty sleep. Isn't that right, Dana? I see. 15 hours. Is that what that does? You have to.

I wish. But I'm going to call Billy Zane after this to make sure we get it done. Okay. If you can get David Bowieie to judge then yes definitely i'm in if you're just joining us damon needs help getting in touch with a girl he recently met named millie she's new to town and he showed her around a little bit she even ended up spending the night at his place but after she left she has not been responding to him or any of his texts even though she clearly has read them right and like the one moment you remember being awkward

was when you pulled out your modeling portfolio. Yeah, I thought it would go over great, and it did not. It did not have the reaction I thought. And you haven't texted her any more headshots of you or anything, right? Did you say headshots? No, not headshots, no. Oh, other headshots. Are you saying you sent something else okay i got you it's that model

humor it's highbrow it's really highbrow stuff i can't believe she left you on read all right i feel like we're ready on our end do you feel ready damon to call her i'm ready as i'll ever be i guess okay here we go i'm gonna dial her number we'll see if she answers let's do this. Hello? Hi, is this Millie? Yeah. Who's this?

My name's Jeff. I host a morning radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. And you're on it right now. Oh, okay. Welcome to town, Cole. Yeah. Heard you just moved here. Yeah.

How did you know that? Well, one of your recent associates told us. Associates? I couldn't think of the right word. What's a better word? Exactly. New friend. New friend.

Yeah, you met a new friend recently. That's a good way to say it yeah and uh he took you out to some of his favorite spots you might know him as damon oh yeah okay i mean it sounds like you're almost expecting this call um no i'm a little confused but um, um, I do know who Damon is. Okay. So Damon reached out to us because he had a great time with you, but he's a little bit confused because after you guys hung out, you've been ignoring him and he doesn't know why. Right. You know, he can see your read receipts, right?

On your texts. Oh, you know what? I didn't really think about that but uh i guess i'm busted i mean i think it's fine like it happens in dating we're not here to bust you for it yeah we just want to help damon understand the reasoning behind it okay um he's actually a really good looking guy um so at first i was oh, he's cute and he has pretty good personality. He seems really nice. Normally I would not go home with someone except I was so exhausted. I've been up since six o'clock in the morning. I was like, I don't want to drive home. I really just wanted

to go to bed. Yeah. That's a good decision. I think that's funny. So you went home with him simply because you wanted to sleep. She's like, you're in bed, right? Like literally sleep. No, I mean, when we got there, I was like, he's cute. You know, maybe I'll make out a little bit. So we get there and he tells me he's a model and he's like, do you want to see my portfolio? I mean, first of all, I kind of felt like it was a little bit, I don't know, like trying too hard. I mean, you don't know this, but we spoke to Damon earlier about the day, and he did mention this moment as being a little bit of an awkward part.

Yeah. And I think he feels kind of embarrassed that he pulled out the portfolio to show you. Well, and the thing is, I'm sure he was just trying to impress you, because he said you're really pretty and you're funny and you're fun to hang out with. Yeah. I mean, okay, well, there were a couple things. The thing is that he did do a lot of talking about his athleticism and his body. So I was already a little bit like, he's trying too hard.

What did he say about his athleticism and his body, just out of curiosity? Basically, just talked a lot about how he does triathlons and when we ate. He was really obsessed with no oil and no this and no that. It's like we get it. You're hot, bro. It's like I love the body, but I hate that you have to do that. Yeah, exactly. It's like you don't want to see the work that goes into it.

No, no, no. Just the six packs. I can't take one more bite because of my macros. A guy opens up to you a little bit and you're like shaming him for it. Remember, he listens to our show. So I like you, Damon, if you're out there listening somewhere i think it was nice then he shows me some of the pictures and i'm like oh i assumed he was sort of like runway model fashion model but when he opens it up he's like oh actually i'm more of a lifestyle model there's one where he's like modeling for a lice shampoo lice l? Lice. Like, you know, nits, like hair nits.

Yeah. Headlice. Hey, you got to take work where you can get it, man. Yeah. That's the thing. Like, you get the money, but then why are you showing this to me? It just seems like, okay, this isn't the kind of modeling that's really sexy. No, it's not.

Then there was another one that he showed me where he has this really awkward, uncomfortable, strainy face on. And it's like for a product for flatulence, like gas. It just felt awkward and dorky. Like, it just kind of made him seem really insecure. But also, if he feels like this is the best he's got and he's leading with this, it's just kind of, I don't know. I don't know. I'm so impressed the fact that he showed her the modeling stuff it's the things that he was modeling for that

turned her off that's petty yeah i mean it's kind of but yeah and it is kind of both it's like i just don't need you to show me pictures of yourself. It just feels a little like desperate. Yeah. I mean, if you would have seen a picture of her doing a fart face, you probably would have been a little turned off too. I would have laughed. I would have been like, let me get over here and kiss me. Well, she did and he didn't like that.

Remember? I don't think that Damon realizes that that's how she felt. But at least now he does because Millie, I didn't tell you this, but Damon's been on the other line listening this entire time and he wants to talk to you wait you're you're not serious are you yeah actually i am as serious as lice damon all right well this is double awkward damon you there yeah well hi millie i would say it should be awkward because i am proud of my work. And like, by the way, those are just some of the pictures. Like I'm in, you didn't mention the one where I'm riding a train,

like reading a book and smiling or the one where I'm doing toothpaste. You mentioned the one where I'm doing gas sex, you know, shout out gas sex. Like they pay my bills. They pay my bills. You know what? It's cool. It's just,

I felt like it was just a little too performative to whip it out in the first place and then also i don't know what were you trying to do like do you think i'd be impressed you were asking what i do for a living and i was showing you like what i do for a living most people would be impressed that they're going out with a male model i'm sorry i don't get to pick and choose which jobs I want. You know, would you make fun of an actor to be like, oh, you're playing a drug addict? I'm not attracted to that. I only date actors who play superheroes. No.

Yeah, good example, dude. I don't know. I mean, it's just kind of like you're leading with a Viagra commercial. I mean, I just felt turned off. I can't really. I mean, it feels a little bit superficial because if he was modeling like Rolex watches, she wouldn't have been like, oh, that seems tacky. I don't know. You got me there.

I probably wouldn't be on a dating app if I had the money for Rolex watches. I will say, though, it is weird that you specifically get booked for all these weird ones. Why do you look like a Viagra-needing, gas-having son of a gun? I don't get it. It just means you look like a confident man. Because they always want a confident man to show off those things. Like, it's okay to use these products. But I've never seen a Gas-X model with a six-pack.

That's right. So, Brooke, yeah, that's a good point, Brooke. So, Millie, clearly he's confident enough to model for these products and show them to you too he was also confident enough to call a radio station and put his entire date out to the public and portfolio and his yeah the whole thing and because of that i would love to offer to send you guys out one more time come on millie you're new to town he's not a bad dude yeah it's not like he was being creepy or aggressive. He just showed you some silly pictures. Just pull his finger and say yes. Stop! Stop!

You guys, I'm going to pass, but I thank you guys so much. And Damon, thank you for taking me out. I do appreciate it. It's just I don't think that we're going to connect on a romantic level. I don't know. I still really don't see what I did wrong. I feel like I would do the exact same thing over again. Okay.

Just hope that someone doesn't focus on not so good products that are in there. You know, I'm not going to pick and choose. You know, like, I don't know. Maybe you're offended by, like, you know, a fungus commercial or whatever it is. But, like, those people pay my bills. Okay. Very specific reference there. What are you, like, an athlete's foot bottle?

Oh, no. Are you the Mucinex green guy? Maybe just stop saying you're a green model. Are you Fungus Man? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Are we talking to Fungus Guy right now? Oh, my God. They're the ones who paid for your drinks, Millie, okay?

Okay, that's true. All right. This fungus paid for your drinks. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year,

New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes.

More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want.

And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general.

You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.