Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Missed Kiss

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

Today's caller says NOT ONLY is he amazingly good looking, but he's an incredible listener and planned the PERFECT date.. So why isn't he getting a call back?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you're not on a dating app, how else are you meeting people out there nowadays? It's a great question. You're not. Yeah. I mean, You're not. Yeah. I mean, especially these days. Yeah, right? You don't want to leave. One of the most popular options is to meet through friends.

Oh, yeah. That's true. Sure. And that can work out. If you have a lot of friends. But it makes me think back to my experiences on this show. Because I think of all of you as my friends yeah for sure at least i did and then over the years you purposefully set me up on terrible dates yeah

but it's funny like it's not funny if we set you up on good dates what do we talk about you even had me in studio once having breakfast with a young lady, and everybody mocked me. In front of her. It was funny. That was great. At least they set you up. At least we set you up. I go on dates by myself that are horrible. I mean, we're not going to make fun of the girl you're going out with. That'd be mean.

Okay, well, the whole thing is, I don't really know about being set up by friends anymore. I don't know if it's a good thing. But that's how Mark met a woman that he went out with recently, Abby. Mark, are you sure these people are really your friends that set you up? Was this all a ploy

to get you on this show? Honestly, I have no idea. My buddy, Brian, you know, best friends my entire life. Or so you think. Well, yeah. So he sets me up with this girl. He's known for a little while,

but we've never actually, you know, hung out or anything. Okay. And what did he say? I mean, did, I mean, he obviously like pitched it to you, right? Yeah. What did he say you'd love about this girl? Well, you know, she's outdoorsy.

She loves hiking, does it often. You don't have to lie, Mark. Yeah. He said that she was hot. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I just heard too. I know you're dancing around, but it's okay to admit that they set you up because she was attractive. Yeah. Well, I think he knows me and of course, yeah. Okay, good. So what was the lead up to going out with Abby? Did you see each other in person? Did you talk on the phone, text? Well, we texted a little bit, but primarily we would just DM through Instagram.

Okay. Yeah, that's good. I got to see all kinds of pictures. I was very happy. Hey, attaboy. I was in the Navy, so I like doing some crazy stuff. Oh, a Navy man. I mean, my brother-in-law was in the Navy, and I wouldn't call him a crazy dude.

What were you doing in the Navy? I've heard so many things about Navy being super cool, and then also, well, to talk to Marines. I don't know, but we don't care for them. That's beef. That's beef. I know you guys have. It's true. My dad was a Marine.

My brother-in-law is in the Navy. It's always been. Yeah, we don't really get along so well. Well, back to Abby. How was your date with her? I thought it went really well. What did you guys do? We talked before. She makes pretty good money, which I was interested in because I myself, I have my own business. Can I ask you, did you ask her how much money you made? Or I mean, how did that come up? Well, in a lot of the photos I saw, she always looked very nice, very put together,

very professional. And I met her after she got off work. And she did. She looked beautiful. She definitely has this very high level job. Okay. All right. That's good. I mean, that's attractive. Someone who has goals and has a good career, absolutely. Right, plus rich people have that rich smell, too. You know the smell I'm talking about, right, Mark? Oh, she smells very nice. Yeah. Wealthy smell.

I don't know, though. Sometimes I've seen a lot of girls that have designer purses or Louis Vuittons. They're broke. They spend all their money on their clothes. Yeah, but he met her after her high-paying job. That's true. I guess you're right there. So how was your connection with her on a personal level? they're broke. They spend all their money on their clothes. Yeah, but he met her after her high paying job. It wasn't like, That's true. I guess you're right there.

So how was your connection with her on a personal level? Well, I thought it was pretty good. I found out she was in the Peace Corps. Cool. The Navy's not beefing

with the Peace Corps? Yeah, you didn't talk crap. Just the Marine Corps. Not currently, but you never know. I guess it could happen. Okay. Don't leave that up

to the Coast Guard. Sure. Yeah. They'll leave that up to the Coast Guard. Sure. Well, no one. Not the Coast Guard. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up. I know. We keep getting sidetracked from your date, but you're a very interesting guy.

Yeah, you are. So tell us anything else memorable about your date. Okay. So it was the end of the night. We pull up to her house. I unbuckle because I think I am going to go in for a kiss. Okay. up to her house i am buckle because i think i am gonna go in for a kiss okay so i go and she turns and i practically wind up kissing the car door window so either she had no idea what i was doing or i just totally misread everything yeah oh yeah i mean that's a pretty bad one and thing is, is if a girl wants a kiss at the end of the night, she'll linger.

She's not twisting away from you. I'm uncomfortable just hearing this. Yeah. And like some ninja move or something. Yeah. So I don't know. What do you think, Mark? What do you think turned her off during your date?

Well, I thought I did just about everything right. You know, I was a gentleman. I would open the car door. Everything. I pulled out her seat when she was going to sit down. But what did you do wrong? I feel like sometimes I just come off as

a little, just a little too engaged, maybe. This is like we're at a job interview and they're like, well, I'm kind of a perfectionist. That's my flaw. You're too perfect for her. Okay. I love too much. I listen too hard. You know how those Navy guys are. You're too perfect for her. I love too much. I listen too hard.

You know how those Navy guys are. They're just too good. Well, here's what we're going to do, Mark. I'm like the Marine. The joke, by the way. We're going to play a song. You just drop anchor. Stay where you are. We'll come back, and we'll call

Abby for you, try and get you your second date update. All right? Guys, thank you so much. I don't think that's a Navy saying, Jeff. What? No? Anchor down. Just hold on. If you're just tuning in for the second date update, we've got Mark on the phone. Mark is a former Navy man who served honorably for his country out on the open seas.

But recently, he was dishonorably discharged from his first date with a girl named Abby. And Mark, I forgot the most important question. If the Navy's in town, why wasn't I informed about this? Well, it's always a party. Usually I'm at the docks holding a bottle of bubbly. So can you just please maybe text me next time you guys are going to dock?

Absolutely. Absolutely, he says. Oh, sweet Mark. Doc's holding a bottle of bubbly, so can you just please maybe text me next time you guys are going to doc? Absolutely. Absolutely, he says. Oh, sweet Mark. She's always hanging out at the porch. Mark's date ended with him going in for a kiss, but Abby did a last-second spin move to get out of it, and he told us the only reason he could think of for why he's not getting a call back is that he did his date too perfect. Yeah. He was too engaged, too interesting, too good-looking.

That's probably not it. Which, Mark, as a fellow perfect man, I feel you, bro. You know. You guys have a lot in common. Happens all the time. Oh, my God. No, Mark, the one thing we didn't ask you, you were set up by friends.

Have you checked in with your friend to see why Abby isn't calling back, if they know anything? I talked to him, but I kind of avoided talking about the subject because I know he's going to talk to her pretty soon. And I just want to touch base with her or get like a third party perspective because I really did. I thought I was a gentleman and I do pretty well. And I unfortunately date a lot of gold diggers here and there. All right, Mark. You already told us that she had a successful job and plenty of money herself. All right, let's move forward.

Yeah, let's just get to the call. We'll dial Abby's number and find out why she would dare reject Mr. Perfect. You ready? Yeah, I'd like to know. Okay. So would the universe. Here we go. He's like, thank you.

I'm going to dial the number right now. Hello? Hi, I'm looking to speak with Abby. Yeah, this is Abby. Hi, Abby. My name is Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh, okay. Are you familiar with the show?

A little bit. We'll take it. That works for us. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for listening, even a little bit. So the reason that we're calling is we're doing something called a second date update. If you don't remember what that is, it's where if you go out with someone and afterwards, if they're not calling you back, you can email our show, and we'll reach out to that person for you to figure out the reason why. Okay. All right.

And so recently you went out with a guy named Mark. Yeah. And now you're not calling him back. Mark says he had a great time with you and he's hoping to understand better why you've been ghosting him. Because according to him, it was a pretty flawless date. No. a great time with you and he's hoping to understand better why you've been ghosting him because according to him it was a pretty flawless date no wow that's interesting because he was really set on he feels like he did everything right open doors paid for dinner mentioned he's in the navy listened intently yeah he mentioned he was in the navy i wouldn't say he listened intently i feel like i

heard a lot about just everything he's doing all about the navy all about this business and i don't feel like there's anything for him to listen to i didn't really get to talk one of those people you're just saying that he talked about himself the whole time on the date, didn't ask you any questions? No, it was pretty one-sided. Okay. I mean, sometimes I feel like that happens when people are nervous and they're overcompensating. Do you think that could have been it? No, I think he was perfectly confident.

You think he was perfect? No. Oh, I heard, I thought it was perfect. You're not paying attention now, Jeff. Sorry. confident isn't bad was it more like egotistical he just really thought of himself and then like at the end of the night you know we're leaving there's like a homeless guy in the parking lot and he hands me his phone and was like hey get a picture of this for me and he like takes money out of his wallet and wants me to take a picture of him giving money to the homeless person and then he posted it like right there in front of me on instagram and said making money's not hard being inspirational shouldn't be

either oh my god are you kidding me yeah and i and I was like, I'm done. Eye roll, dude. Okay, so you don't support him giving money to homeless people? Is that what's happening? Jeff! Jeff, no! No, I don't support him being a douche. That's what I don't support. Oh, my God.

And he's just, like, using a homeless person as a prop for likes? Like, that is not cool, man. If you're doing a good favor for people, don't post it. Then it takes away all the good favor. Wait, hold on. I guarantee each one of you in this room has done something good for charity and then posted about it on your social media. There's a difference between participating in a charity, right, and wanting people to also donate, okay, and a call for action. That's what he did.

It sounds like he's like, you guys can be inspirational. I'm doing my part, you guys can do yours. There's a difference between that and literally giving someone just some change, taking a picture of it, and then saying it's all about me. It's about how inspirational I am. It's never about helping the other person.

It's about what I did. There's a difference. I see what you're saying. It's just hard to tell when you're right, when you're dealing with a lot of attention every day. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes. That is true.

I mean, I do like attention. So here's the thing, Abby. You felt like it was a disingenuous move because after he gave him some money, he posted about it online. Yeah, it was just... I don it online yeah it was just i don't know if it was just to impress me or if he just does this all the time but either way if it was just to impress you he would have left that moment between you two not posted

absolutely and like taking the photo like it was premeditated even yeah and that's one of the reasons i didn't want to kiss him at the end. I was just like, ah. Yeah, you should have kissed the homeless guy. Well, at this point, Abby, I do have to tell you something you might find even more disturbing. Okay. I need to tell you, Mark's been on the other line listening and he heard everything that you said.

He wants to talk to you. Of course. Yeah. Mark, you there? Hi, Abby. Oh. Why'd you say it like that, Mark? He is not happy.

Well, I'm disappointed a little bit. Abby, I feel really bad that you got the wrong idea. A lot of things are about reputation. And if something gets documented on Instagram, it's good for your reputation, especially if you're doing something kind, you know. And I really think that's important. And maybe somebody, you know, sees that and they think, oh, all right, here's $5. And in my case, here's 20 because I have a lot of money. Okay. I mean, that was a great, he did it for his reputation, Abby. Why don't you understand? Oh know no I mean here's the thing it's great to do nice things for people okay but like you don't need to like put it on the internet you don't need I mean I'm I just

think in the future when you're out with other girls this is not like the right move you're not impressing anybody just be nice just to be nice You don't need to go out of your way to show how nice you are. What do you think, Mark? I just think if you're not going to post about it, then who sees it? Like, really? Who needs to see it? In a little bit of his defense, you're trying to say

you're spreading the word of giving charity is good. Yes, spreading the word. But you're a rich person. You're just supposed to share money. Good point, Alexis. She's got you, Mark. I don't even think we're asking the important question here. The most important question.

What's that? Which is, Mark, how many likes did you get on that post? Was it worth it? Jeffrey's right. Yeah, I got about 75. 75 likes. All right. That's a hot post.

And how many likes did the homeless man get? Oh, see? Well, that's 75 people that maybe would be giving to a homeless person today because Mark signaled that it's a good thing to do. Thank you. That's a way to put it. I told you guys I was a great person. No, that's not how great people work.

Okay. Guys, I got to wrap it up. I'm at work. Clearly, I'm not going out with this guy again. Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. But before you go, Abby, I need to ask you, would you like to go out on one more date with Mark? Because we'll pay for it.

No. We don't have as much money as Mark does, but we'll pay as much as we can. And we'll post this podcast, and everyone will know about the charity you did. I like how we're lecturing Abby, who is in the Peace Corps, about how to do good things in the world. I mean, this is lecturing Abby, who is in the Peace Corps, about how to do good things in the world. I mean, this is ridiculous.

Yeah, it's going to be a hard no. Oh, Abby. Don't blame me. That's not very charitable of you. Mark, I think you just kind of need to reevaluate why you want to do kind things for people and find a better reason.

Or I could just go out with a hotter girl because I have lots of options. Oh, wow. People with lots of options always call us for help. Well, actually, Mark, if you're wanting a girl that appreciates money, our social media coordinator, Alexis, is single. Hey there, Mark. How are you? Hi.

Are we talking billions, millions? We're talking a couple hundred thousand. Hey, thousandaire. How are you? Hi. Are we talking billions, millions, trillions? We're talking a couple hundred thousand. Hey, thousandaires. Text me. That's a lot. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts