Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Most Malone

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

One of our listeners has a closing move that was not only fun and flirtatious, it also comes with pizza. We guarantee guys are gonna try and steal this… and you can hear it in a brand new Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. When someone tells you they went on the best date of their entire life. Oh my gosh. It's very exciting.

Yes. But that could mean a lot of different things to different people. Yeah, for sure. Like for Brooke, that's probably eating a corn dog in a porta potty after downing an entire bucket of sangria. Oh my God. That sounds so fun. Right? It's like a fairy tale. Yeah, I'm not even with anyone. I just find myself in there.

For Jose, it would probably be staying at home. One bowl of pho, two spoons. Playing Fortnite together while they take turns trash-talking the preteens. Yeah, and I'm sitting on her lap. Yeah, see? But for one of our listeners, Zoe, she emailed saying she went on the best date of all time.

Oh my gosh, Zoe, I'm so excited to talk to you. We're wanting to hear what this is. Welcome to the show, Zoe. Hi, thank you so much. I cannot wait to tell you about my date. It was so good. When I listened to your voice, it had to have involved funnel cake. Were you eating anything inside of a porta potty?

No, but I went out with this guy named Miles. I sent him on a dating app. And he looked like Post Malone, but like buffer, but with no tattoos. Okay. All right. That's a good look. I'm having a hard time visualizing what Post Malone without tattoos. I'm imagining like Tobey Maguire now.

I don't know what'm just excited for her She's in that Sing song voice Anytime you have that voice You know you're just happy Why was he attracted to you? He was so hot If you saw him

You would understand Okay Hot buff post Malone No tattoos Yeah let's go Exactly Exactly And so we

You know Texted back and forth We hit it off online So we decided to meet up for drinks. OK. Were you this excited going into the date? Kind of. OK. Maybe that's a good thing. Guys can vibe off of that energy. Yeah. And it sounds like you ride it on a high frequency already.

OK. So let's get into the date how did that go so um we met up for drinks and he looked just like his picture but even hotter oh my god okay so he didn't take a post malone photo and photoshop it to make it look the way you wanted he's better we're gonna call him most malone oh i like that all right oh he was the perfect package. And so we're chatting, and he's fun and creative, and then he, like, gets playful. And he's like, you know what? Let's play I Spy. And I'm like, what? Okay.

Wait, like the color game that I play with my kids? Yeah. Well, you know, like I Spy and you say something you see, right? And it could be anything. But are you making it flirty or it's actually like trees and stuff. I spy a little eye the color gray. I spy a salt shaker. Yeah, how did romantic Post Malone do it?

Romantic Miles, he laid on the charm and he said, I spy someone really cute. And then you got jealous and you were like, who is she? Your voice went to just an octave that I think only dogs could hear just there. So he was talking about you, right? Well, I hope so, but I didn't want to be presumptuous.

So, you know, I said, is it the bartender? And then he was like, no. And so then I'm like, is it me? And he's like, yes. And I was like, oh my God, I love this. I mean, yeah, you were not like turned off at all. The fact that it's a little bit cheesy, maybe. Are you listening to her?

She's like, I can't believe it was me. I can't believe it took me 40 guesses to finally get there. What about that bartender? What about that bartender? I voted the gay. There's no way. Okay. Well, if you liked it, that's great.

Exactly. I liked it. His charm worked for me. Okay. What happened next? It feels like this is leading straight into a kiss. Well, we did get a little peck, and then we decided, you know what? We should go.

It's really late. And so I looked up Uber, and they were, like, crazy expensive. Okay. I hate that. I'm like, oh, maybe I could stay with them longer, right? He didn't want to pay for the expensive Uber? The only person excited about search pricing. What do you do?

Well, so once again he pulls out his creativity card and he's like let's go to this pizza place i know up the street and then ask them if we order a large pizza will the delivery driver take us home that's so creative actually i hate to give them credit for that but that is a good idea i mean they're gonna drive your house anyway. It's included in the price. And a delivery driver would be like, an extra $20, I'll take it. Did they do that?

So we asked them, and they said yes. Oh. You're going to have to deliver 40 other pizzas along the way. We'll eventually get you there. Luckily, he did it. So the cool thing is we got to ride home and eat pizza and continue our conversation. With just, like, the pizza delivery guy sitting in the front seat? Yeah.

He made his night interesting. True. So how did you guys leave it? Well, so he gave me a peck kiss because, you know, we were kind of pizza covered. And then we both just slept on a high or at least i did and you know we texted for a couple days after that and and then i haven't heard from him and okay weird do you know if he had like a really busy schedule or something no he didn't say that he did and i'm just kind of worried that maybe he met somebody else on

the dating app because he was such a catch. Maybe he spied somebody even cuter. Uh-oh. Do not say that. Do not say that. That's the backfire of the I Spy game. Okay. I'm just hoping that you guys can call and see what's going on.

Because I don't want this guy to get away. Because he's like the perfect guy. And it was like the best date. It sounds so fun it was so fun i'm honestly a little bit nervous to hear how excited he's gonna be if it's the same level of excitement the speakers might explode we'll find out though we'll come back we'll call most malone for you and try and get your second date update right after this. Second date update. If you're just joining us, we're talking to one of the least excited people that we have ever had on this show.

I see. Okay. Boy, has she been a downer. Yeah. Real depresso. Yeah. Zoe is her name. Oh, her name is even like bubbly.

I know. Zoe Zing. I assume her her name is even, like, bubbly. I know. Zoe Zing, I assume her last name is. Yeah, her and a guy named Miles met up for some drinks, played a pretty boring game of I Spy, it sounded like, and then convinced a pizza place that if they bought a large pie, they could

ride home with the delivery guy in the back seat. So genius. Oh, it was. I mean, look, I'll give her credit for a fun date, but her recap was just such low energy. Oh, my God. If people are just tuning in, again, Jeff's being sarcastic.

This is very sarcastic. Play the tape back and prove me wrong. Okay. I'm just hoping that Zoe can turn it up a notch for this next part. Shift out of neutral into first gear. Zoe, you need a coffee or something to perk up? No.

No, no. I've had like four already. I'm good. Yeah. We can hear that. Maybe you need four more or something. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I'm excited, you guys. This is member Most Malone, the guy of her dreams. Yeah, Most Malone. That's right. At least one person

is excited on this phone call. I guess it's going to have to be Brooke. I think it's a few of us. I'm excited. Yeah, that's right, girl. We know. Listen to the depression in her voice.

Hey, the one thing we never asked you is why do you think he's not calling back? Oh, yeah. Did you say that already? No, I don't know. You know, and that's why I've tried to, like, lay low and only text, like, twice a day. Good. But, you know, I'm not, like, over texting, but it's not helping. That's why I've tried to lay low and only text twice a day. I'm not over texting, but it's not helping. Wait, are you texting twice a day without responses?

Yeah, is that bad? Yeah, only twice? He's not going to know that you're into him if you're only texting him twice. I need a girl to text me at least 50 times. Zoe, that's also sarcasm. That's not usually a good thing. Well, too late now. So yeah.

It wasn't awful. If it's like, hi. And then later in the day, it's like, okay, well, hope you're having a good day. She hasn't heard from him in over a week. That is like. I thought she said two days. It doesn't matter. Texting's for suckers anyway. So we're just going to call him.

There we go. Let's go. Get it done. Ready, Zoe? Yes. All right. Okay. Never going to get her up. So let's just call him. There we go. Let's go. Get it done. Ready, Zoe? Yes. All right. Okay. Never going to get her up.

So let's just do it. Here we go. Hello, this is Miles. Oh, hey. Very formal. You are formal, Miles. What's up, Miles? What's up?

We're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Okay. Yeah. All right. What's up miles. What's up. We're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Okay. Yeah. All right. What's up. Brooke and Jeffrey. Wow. You're very casual.

What's going on? He's all the things. He's all the things. That's why he's most Malone. Yeah. We've, we've heard a lot about you miles actually from one of our listeners that you went on a date with recently named Zoe.

From Zoe, huh? Yeah. We're doing something called a second date update trying to help her figure out why the two of you haven't met up for another date. Are you serious? Yeah. Isn't that fun?

Yeah, yeah. Alright, that's fun. He's also being sarcastic. We not gonna take it that way tell us about we want to know more about zoe and what you thought of her yeah um zoe so all right this is a girl we met online and it was we we had a very good time i had a very good time on the day she said it was a great date awesome it sounds like i'm sure she did i'm sure she did was she is was she as depressing on your date as she was when we talked to her yeah no no no no very uh very fun loving girl that's for sure okay yeah i don't know and i look i was having fun too we were having a good time i was

feeling loose she's someone you can joke around with and stuff. She was a good time. We were having a good time. So if you have all these positive things to say about her and she made you feel all these good ways and you could be loose in yourself, then why not meet up with her one more time? I guess she told you about our date. She told you about the pizza delivery guy. I had him drive us home. Yeah, like the hack you did to get a cheap ride home

instead of Uber. Yeah, yeah. And she was so cool about that, too. I'll say that. Like, not every woman would necessarily be super cool about that. Yeah.

Not every woman would get in the car of a complete stranger. Well, there is pizza in the back of that car, so I feel like pretty much anybody would do it. Anyway, anyway, so during the ride home as

we're going home we were laughing we were having a good time and she said to me i'm just having such a good time with you you're so much fun you're so great i don't want anyone else to have you i don't want anyone else to match with you i'm gonna report you on the app so that you can't talk to anyone and like she said it as she was laughing and I'm laughing too. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, I'll report you first. Yeah, right. Okay.

That's a funny joke. Sure enough, a couple of days later, I get a notification that I got reported on the app. No. Are you sure that's not coincidence? Are you sure it was her? I mean, I'm not 100 percent sure that it was her but i haven't met up with anybody else i didn't see anybody else and are you doing anything

inappropriate that would get you reported bro no no i'm not doing anything inappropriate wouldn't you ask her about it like she said you guys were texting and then she was texting no she was texting and then that came through and she and then that came through, and she said she was going to do that, so I figured it was her. Okay. Look, I was pretty pissed when that came through. Oh, I was going to ask, is that a turnoff? I think so, Brooke.

Yeah, it's a major turnoff to have a company tell you you've been a creep or something. Yeah. It's very disturbing and kind of frightening. In a way, it's kind of flattering if you think about it. Yeah, no, I didn't take it that way. I don't think it was a good idea. I don't think it's a fun dating hack.

Yeah, Jeffrey's being sarcastic. I don't even know what she, you know, who knows what she could have reported me for. Well, that's a great question. Here's a fun dating hack. We're going to put the two of you together on the phone right now and let you guys talk about it. Yeah.

Yay! Find out from the source. Because she's been listening on the other line this whole time, wanting to talk to you. Hi, Miles! Hello, Zoe. Hi. I would never do that. That was not me.

I would do that. That wasn't you. Really? That wasn't you? I I would do that. That wasn't you. Really? That wasn't you? I would never do that. Didn't you know how much I liked you and how much fun we had? No, I did. I definitely did.

And I definitely remember you saying that you were going to report me, and then I got reported. Oh. Do you want to just admit that it was you? No, no. Don't you remember? I was joking, want to just admit that it was you? No, no. Don't you remember? I was joking, and we were laughing about it, and you joked back about it. I know.

It was so funny until it happened. It was so funny until it happened. Oh, my God. Zoe, be honest. Did you do it? Did you report him? I did not do that. I mean, I like this guy i want to keep him around in my life not push

him out of it it was a kind of a long pause before you continued your sentence i believe her so zoe there's zero percent chance that you hit the report button your finger didn't slip and accidentally i mean the only way that could have happened if maybe I was like black out drunk one night, and I don't remember that. Well, that's the problem. That's the problem with being black out drunk. I mean, seriously, if I did

do that, which I don't remember doing it, it would only be because I like Miles so much and I want to see him again. Miles, I mean, she told us that she was texting you about twice a day. Was there any evening where she sent you like 60 texts? That's a good way to judge, Jeff.

Was there one night that was kind of weird? Yeah. Just slurred. I'm looking at them right now. She sent a lot of gifts. Penguins being lonely. Oh, I don't know. Lonely penguin.

Okay. Do you remember that, Zoe? Those are funny. Those are red flags. Those are red flags. Oh, poor Zoe. Does she remember? I don't know what to believe.

Miles, what happened to your fun, funny spirit that you showed me the other night? Yeah, Miles. It went away with the dating app membership you blocked me the other night. Yeah, Miles. It went away with the dating app membership you blocked me from. Well, now you don't even have any other options to date other people. You might as well take this. We don't offer that service on this show.

It's only with Zoe. Yeah, I gotta say no. She's not even admitting it. I know it was you, Zoe. I know it was you that blocked me. You're never gonna get unblocked now. I'm going to block your phone number now from our radio station.

I'm reporting you. That's fine. Please block me. I do not want to hear from a radio station again. Oh, man. This has backfired. Now we need to go report. I kind of saw that coming. I'm going to report myself now. Look at Jeffrey in the morning. I've got to remember that for the next time I'm purposely trying to lie about something.

Just use the line, I didn't do it, but if I did, I was probably blacked out drunk. Can't blame me for that. Yeah, I don't remember it. I mean, very, very characteristic, though, of me. Airtight excuse. Oh, man. You know, I feel like that probably happens a lot, doesn't it? Yeah.

Reporting people on the dating apps? I would think. No, it's just like stuff happens when you're drunk, I guess. But I don't know about reporting. It's a good idea, though, because then they don't have other options. If she doesn't get found out. If she just not opened her big mouth. Yeah.

You know, people in their bios will be like, come on, I want to delete this app. Take me off Tinder because I want a match. She's like, let me help you with that. I mean, I thought that the most stolen thing from this

second date was going to be the pizza delivery hack on the ride home. That's so smart. But it might actually be reporting the people that you like to the dating app so they can't meet anybody else.

I like the pizza thing though. Yeah, I do too. You gotta try that. I can do that one as a married person. Still be on the up and up. Hopefully they have I like the pizza thing, though. Yeah, I do, too. I can do that one as a married person. Still be on the up and up. Hopefully they have an Excel for you and the kids.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll invite the pizza guy in and see if he wants to babysit for a little while. Hey, there you go, bro. Lots of interesting information coming out of these second date updates.

And you can get your own if you email us. We'll call that person who isn't calling you back. Make sure you check out all of our second date podcasts. They're up wherever you get yours at Brooke and Jeffrey. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

We're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it.

For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends,

but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis and a few surprise guests

throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your podcasts from.