Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Mr. Tea and the Not-So Secret Drop

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

One of our listeners did something SO STRANGE to try and impress his date but it all came crumbling down when the truth came out. Hear what happened in your Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. We've read some articles lately where more and more people are getting offline and trying to meet people IRL. I'm glad you added line to the end of that sentence. Out in the real world trying to find people to date.

But the question is, is like where do you go because jose is already locked down all the taco bells and free clinics in his area oh yeah that's for sure so what's left for the rest of us dudes well one of our listeners says he figured out the untapped hot spot where no guys are going yet but high quality women are all around him. Let's find out where this is. Welcome to the show. Scott, how you doing, man? I'm doing good. How are you guys doing? Why do I have a feeling, Scott, that the women don't want you wherever

you're going? I mean, if it's all women, it's usually meant to be that way. I'm imagining he's in a bed with like 10 women surrounding him right now, models. Don't make fun of me until you hear what I have to say. Okay. I'll hear you out.

I'll hear you out. But we do reserve the right to make fun of you. Yeah, yeah. Where do you go to find single available women? Okay, where I go, my secret, I go to tea shops. Tea shops? Oh, the beverage tea. Yeah.

Okay. Those are women dominated? I don't know that I've been in a tea shop. Are there also women like your age or like old women? No, no. Tea shops are like the thing right now. It's really trendy. Like a lot of young people are at tea shops.

Okay. I want to go to one. Sounds kind of health-forward, too. Yeah, where are you picking up your loose leaf, huh? Is that what you're doing? Oh, no. I'm just trying to get in on the trends. I'm fine with men in there, just not broke.

So how does this work, picking up girls at the tea shop? All right, well, I have a bit of a system. Okay. What do you do? I go to a tea shop. I go after work, you know, late afternoon. I take out a little notebook, and I just sit down kind of in the middle area, you know, like sort of in a big open neutral area.

Okay. Okay. So you're sitting clearly in plain sight of everybody. That's your plan. Yeah. And basically you make yourself visible. Okay. And you've got your notebook out to like, oh, what's he working on?

Women just get curious. Oh, wait a minute. Okay. So you look uninterested in them. You're uninterested in them. And you, you're're smart you're writing that Does that work for you a lot Scott, yeah, I usually just sort of say I'm a part-time writer for a magazine. I'm not. You lie. What? Why do you lie? Why don't you just say you're... Well, did you hear...

Do you see how Alexis perked up when she said magazine? I want to be featured in the magazine. That's why. There's something to it. Yeah. Clearly. Do they ever ask you what magazine you write for? Yeah, usually I'm just like, oh, you know, it's like a poetry magazine.

I like to say like... I say something that they wouldn't know, probably. I see. I see. A poetry magazine? That's like like, romantic. You just get better and better. Yeah, you're clearly trying to disarm these women.

Yeah, I don't know about the lie, but the rest of it sounds okay to me. Would you believe him? How many times has this worked, that you've actually met someone this way? It's worked in terms of, like, an icebreaker, but there's only been one time where I've, like, really gotten stuck on somebody that I really liked. Hopefully that's the one that we're calling today. Her name's Kenzac.

Kenzac. Kenzac. Okay. I couldn't decide between Kendall and Zach. Kenzie, maybe, you know, throw him in there also. How did you and Kenzac come to be? Well, you know, she was by herself there. I was by myself there.

And one of my things that I do is I ask when I order tea for extra lemon slices. So in case someone doesn't have a lemon slice, I can offer them one. Oh, my God. I don't think I've ever heard a guy say, hey, do you need some extra lemon slices? I've got some for you. But you've never been to a tea shop, see? That's true. Is that what you use on Kenzac?

Yeah, no, I absolutely offered her a lemon slice, and that's what started the talking, yeah. I mean, I think if you're in a bar with a vodka soda and someone offers you lime, you're all about it. It's kind of the same thing. Alexis tried so hard to relate. But it's weird if a guy pulls a lime out of his pocket and gives it to you. No, not with a lime. No? Okay.

You've got Alexis' check of approval. So she took your lemon slice and then you two were on the path to love. Yeah, we talked for, I don't know, like 20, 30 minutes. Longer than strangers at a tea shop normally would talk. Okay. It felt like a date. So you didn't go out again after this? Well, here's the thing.

I said, hey, let's hang out again sometime. But I got to run. I have a deadline. It's good to tell people you have a deadline. It makes you seem important. Okay. Smart. You're smart.

Oh, my gosh. It's not your first erroneous. Okay. And then we exchanged numbers, and we hung out one time after that at a different tea place. Oh, you did? Oh, you did tea again? Yeah. We went out one more time but it like kind of didn't count because it was really short oh like how how short are we talking like within 10 minutes like she got a text and said

it was an emergency and she had to leave and that's the last i've heard of her oh that's hardly anything what are you looking to even accomplish in that time maybe when she first met you she was tea drunk and she had those tea goggles on. Didn't know what you really looked like. What are you even talking about? What tea do you drink? Seriously. I am open to all possibilities here. See? Okay.

You're running out on some oolong, alright? No? You're just adding more words that the editors are going to have to cut out of this before we send it out to the air. If you do not end this by saying we're going to get the tea next i i'm done i'm leaving that might be for the best leave for a while don't come back but sorry scott back to you how long has it been since that last date happened that 10 minute date like two weeks no there's

been yeah no follow-up no okay do you believe in the emergency or do you think it's as real as your um magazine writing yeah i i want to believe it you know maybe like she had a real emergency like someone passed away and she's just been dealing with that and like doesn't have time for me like like if that's what it is i want to know that so like i could be there for her if i need to be but also it can like ease my stress about it that's sweet sweet tea oh god right okay sorry to end it on a sad note but we're gonna bring it back up do your second date update with kenzack right after this. Second date update. I was looking for music to play for a tea

house. Oh, I'm sure we could find something. This is what I came up with. Old Chinese, ancient music. No, this is an old English tea. Oh, an English tea? Most tea shops are Asian. I had this labeled as coffee house in the system.

Are you sure you didn't label it nap time? I know. It's a sleepy piano. It's not good enough. I know that. But this team movement is just so far ahead of us. We're late to the game. Yeah, we don't know.

One of our listeners, Scott, said that's how he meets women lately. He goes out to tea shops, posts up right in the middle with a notebook out, and tells the ladies that he's a writer for some fancy poetry magazine. Which nobody questions because nobody can actually name a poetry magazine. No. It just makes him sound sophisticated and deep. You ever heard of Poetry Magazine? That's how he met a woman named Kenzac recently.

Ended up turning that into a second tea time hangout. Second one ended kind of quickly, though. So hopefully we can get Kenzac back on the phone and get this party started. Oh, now you're doing it, too. That was my one. Oh, come on. You said tea time already, and that was kind of cute. But that was like literally talking about tea time.

Literally sitting down with tea. So, Scott, we've got all our jokes out of the way. How are you feeling? I'm feeling all right. Feeling pretty good. Okay. Are you going to have your pinky up when you make this call? I'm going to be as classy as I can be.

I'll tell you that. Okay. Be classy, but don't be shy. Okay. That was good. Can I ask real quick? In all honesty, do you think she Google searched your name and figured out you're not a writer? Not 10 minutes into the date. Not 10 minutes into the day.

Not 10 minutes into the day. Oh, you're right. Why would she show up for the second line? Yeah, that's true. That's true. Okay. Okay, we won't out you. I mean, you're going to be outed at some point on your own.

So you can't keep up that line for too long. If Brooke has any more of her spiked tees, you don't know what she's going to say in this segment. But here we go. Let's call Ken's, I keep forgetting her name. Kenzac. We're going to call Kenzac. Let's see what she has to say. Here we go. Hello? Hi, we're looking to speak with Kenzac.

Sorry, who is this? This is a radio show called Brooke and and jeffrey in the morning hey kenzack the whole show is here hey good morning is this kenzack uh yeah i'm i'm kind of busy i don't know if i what is this about oh that's okay we're real quick yeah we're gonna make this real fast we're doing something called a second date update and we're trying to help out one of our listeners get back in touch with you after you went on a couple dates with him. Okay. I don't know.

Do you have a name? Who is it for? It was a few weeks ago that you last met up with him. His name's Scott. Do you remember? Oh, you mean the guy that I blocked? Yes, I remember. Wait, you blocked him?

Wait, the guy from the tea shop? The very one. Wait a minute. Why'd you block him? He said you left the date like the second time you tea shop? The very one. Wait a minute. Why'd you block him? He said you left the date like the second time you guys hung out, 10 minutes in. Oh, so you talked to him? Yeah, we have a little bit of background before we call you just to try and figure out what happened on your date. Can I ask what he told you?

What's the bullet point recap? Two dates at tea houses separately separately the first time you guys talked for 20-30 minutes and seemed to really connect and the second one you left after about 10 minutes because you got a text right okay well so basically I mean I don't know if the first one was like we met at the tea house and

like talked for a little while and then we decided to hang out again so he got to the second hang before i did and already like got the tea and had it on his table so i did you think that was rude that he had already ordered without you um i was a little surprised but like it wasn't a huge like that's not a wasn't a deal breaker for me or anything okay so that's that's not the reason well we're trying to help him figure out if there was some sort of issue that happened so basically we chat for a few minutes and then i turn to look up

there's like a menu on the wall that's like facing away from it's like away from where i'm sitting so i'm like turning away from the table and looking at the menu okay and when i turn back around i don't think he was like quite ready for me to turn back around. Why what do you mean? Because I will feel like I turn around and I noticed him like he was dropping a blue pill into his tea Into his own tea. Huh? Yeah. Well, I didn't have one yet What kind of expectations would you have at a tea date? Well, that was actually

my question. I was like, I don't know what he's expecting to happen, but that immediately threw me off. Are you sure it wasn't like a sugar cube or something that maybe you... Just a normal multivitamin, perhaps. But why wouldn't you just take it?

Why would you dissolve it in your tea? It tastes better? I don't know. I had all those same questions. It definitely threw me off. But I was like, maybe I didn't see what I thought I saw. Maybe it was sugar or something. So I'm like trying to keep the conversation going. And a few minutes later, he tells me like,

Hey, I just got the back seat of my car upholstered we could go check it out oh my gosh just the back seat only how could you be so unclassy at a t-shirt the blocking is making sense now what you don't believe him you don't think he really got his car reupholstered who cares i don't know. It was very odd, and it sounded like a line. Oh, yeah. You never want that. I just very awkwardly pretended I had a check. I think that's a good idea.

I think we can all definitely see how that looks bad, but there is a chance that a totally logical, reasonable explanation exists for this. Yeah, from the really honest guy? Totally. And he just happens to be on the other line right now listening to this call ken's what sorry scott's there hey hey kenzack how's it going did you just hear what she said yeah is that what you think you saw me putting a pill in the drink what i think i saw are you saying like I don't know what I saw?

Is that what you think you saw? Why is your voice getting higher there, man? I think he's like trying an exit strategy right now. Honestly, this is not really helping your case right now. Yeah, I mean, that's weird. That's what I quote unquote think I saw.

Yeah, that's weird. I don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You are like the worst liar. Do you recall any of the details of like putting something into your own tea? I mean, I wish you could just say it was a Skittle or something. There's no blue Skittles. M&M's.

Something? I would love to hear a different explanation of what it was. Yeah. Yeah, just explain to us what happened. It's interesting how long it's taken to you to get to. What was happening in your mind, Scott? Okay, here comes the truth. That was a true side.

Just give it to us, Scott. Well, it's a long story. You need to take a big breath to tell it. I've only got like one or two parts of the story made up so far. Go ahead, Scott. What was going on? I just don't know why you'd be offended by someone who just wanted to be prepared. What?

Always be ready. That's my motto. No, bro. You can't walk around always ready like that. Hey, which way is the tea shop? No. Dude, that's so gross, man. Scott, that's objectively not good date behavior.

That's such a selective thing. And it's such a turnoff. You know, journalists got to learn things. Journalists? Oh, you're back to journalism? I thought you were a poetry writer. I thought you were a poet. Oh!

Are you honest about anything, Scott? I really did have the backseat of my car reupholstered. It's really nice back there. He wasn't lying. Why was it bad to begin with? Tea spills back there. Oh, no. I just like to treat people right.

I don't know what the problem is. Okay. It'll never happen in the backseat to treat anyone right. Oh, man. It's pretty awkward. We don't know that until we ask because we always offer. No, don't. We always offer. No no not this time we always offer to send out for to send you guys out for a second

date that we would pay for i didn't know that you saw what you saw uh it was supposed to be uh just chill herbal tea and chill yeah i would love to hang out again if you're up for it. Oh. I can tell you. Absolutely not. That's because she interrupted him. Scott, that's going to be a no, it sounds like. I'm sorry, dude.

She saw too much. What are you doing, man? Oh, you got there before me. Why did you wait until I got there? I know. Papa, before you walk into the freaking shop. Oh, then she walks in. He's like, full attention?

You gotta plan these things out. You didn't. No. Alright, we've learned some stuff, Scott. Too much. I don't want to learn anymore. That's enough of a lesson for me. I'm not going to a tea shop anytime soon. That was too much tea.

The tea was too hot. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. That's the problem with people who stretch the truth. What's that? You're riding high talking about a job that you don't even have. Yeah. And at the first bump in the road, suddenly you're flailing trying to come up with an explanation for the performance enhancing pills you've slipped into your own chamomile

tea. That's still so strange. It's so true of Brooke you're saying. I could be like, why not just pop the pill in your mouth? And then it's daytime at a tea shop. It's so risky all around. I mean, sometimes things sound good to you in your mind in the moment, and then you do it, and you're like, I was so stupid.

Why did I do that? Okay, I'm just going to go into I do that? Yeah. If you can't get it, okay. I'm just going to go into details that I don't need to go into. I just, I hope he learned his lesson. Yes. You know, that's what I hope. That is the goal of these segments is if we can't get you a second date, we'll at least try and get you something to work on yourself. Yeah.

Don't put pills in your own tea. I wouldn't say. It's not new work on yourself. It's not the message everybody needs, but at least somebody had to hear it. It's like those laws that you're like, who did this? That we had to make a rule for this. That there's a sign in that tea shop now, no blue pills. Yeah, one of those moments.

So make sure that you're emailing the show so we can learn more important life lessons like this one. And recall that person who isn't calling you back and go find all sorts of life lessons for dating on our podcast at brook and jeffrey wherever you get yours brook and jeffrey in the morning john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

wherever you get your podcasts.