Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Muppet Dinner

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

Is it weird if a guy shows up to your date with two mysterious duffle bags? It happened to one of our listeners and she told us what weird things he was keeping in the bags in your Second Date Update!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 1.4 billion dollars in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, vice president of client strategy at athletes. First introducing the athletes first family podcast, the quarterback series,

my cohost, Brian Murphy, athletes for CEO. And I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened.

And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story.

And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update.

We got an email for a second date update from one of our listeners named Gabe, who says he brought along some friends on his first date. Oh, that could be fun. Apparently, Gabe did not get a kiss, but one of his friends did. Whoa, that's not good. Wait, not the goal. From his date? I'm not sure, but all I know is now he wants our help.

So, Gabe, what's up, man? Welcome to the show. Hey, happy to be on. Thanks for taking my call. Okay, you are a chipper man. I try to be. Okay. Okay, that's good.

I like that vibe. We'll get into the details of your date in just a second here, but first tell us a little bit about the woman that you went out with. What's her name? Where'd you meet her? What's her net worth? Give us a rundown. Her name's Noelle, a very, very pretty blonde girl.

We met on a dating app, and we met up to this really great pizzeria in town. I was really hoping he was going to give her net worth. Yeah, I know. Kind of disappointing. I asked, but she wouldn't tell. Okay, stubborn. So we got some Hawaiian pizza.

Oh, controversial that you both like Hawaiian. You don't find that many people out there who like it. It's not real pizza, so that's why. No, it is. I love it, too. We're not getting into this discussion during this second date. Pizza, you know, pizza. No, we're not doing it. Let's just focus on your date, Gabe.

Okay, tell us more about the horrible pizza that you guys share we we had a bunch of that delicious pizza and you know like you said i did bring out my friends you know it said specifically in my profile that this is who i am what i'm about wait what do you mean you're about hawai Hawaiian pizza with friends. So I am a professional amateur puppet impersonator. Professional amateur. Also got me lost. That was on your profile. Yes, yes. And you matched.

So your friends aren't actual people. They're puppets? Yeah, that is correct. Yes. Oh, I didn't get that part. I see. You're like a ventriloquist or something, too? Like you make the puppets talk?

Not so much ventriloquy as it is just like a performance. Like sometimes I'm behind like a fake rock or something or I'm inside a really uncomfortable couch. And I do Muppet voices and stuff like that. Okay. So I'm just trying to picture this now. So you're in a pizzeria with your Muppet friends now joining you at the table. And you're squatting underneath people. You say you do the voices too oh yeah yeah can you give me like a sample of how that date would go so naturally i brought out kermit the frog first that's how you break the ice so it was hey how are you doing are you enjoying the date i see you're not eating as many as of the pineapple

as he is okay you know he was trying to gas me up a little bit, but... Okay, okay. Kermit's cute. I don't think of Kermit as, like, a typical charmer of women, though. He seems kind of shy. No, I think Kermit's smooth. That's the thing, you know, no one's expecting Kermit. Everyone wants you to go with Fozzie or Animal or someone crazy, but

you bring in Kermit when you want to show a little heart. How did she react to Kermit? She was laughing. She was having a good time. Then naturally I brought out Miss Piggy so that there could be a bit of a back and forth. You know, we had a double date for a little while. How did Miss Piggy sound? Kermit, I think he's doing exceptionally well on this date.

Don't bother them. They're doing their own thing. Can it, frog? Can it, frog? I think that's adorable. I love it. You're just good enough that I can totally tell which one you're doing. So you're sitting at the table. Do you have Muppets? Like, do you have the actual dolls with you? Or is this just voices? I have two bags worth. It looks a little weird because I just

had two duffel bags with me. But it seemed like the whole restaurant was actually having a good time along with it. Because more often than not, when you bust out two Muppets, people are going to take notes. So, you know, I mean, the thing is, if she was laughing through it, women love humor. But how long did it go for? I was wondering that, too. It was like 45 to 50 minutes. Was there a commercial break? Yeah. An intermission where she got to go to the bathroom and then come back yeah yeah i did say you know i went to the bathroom once and i was like hey if

you're just gonna like leave right now i totally get it no stress but lo and behold she was still there when i came back i've never heard i give you an invite to walk out yeah i wish they all did that did you ever get to know anything about noel yeah no she she's into pharmaceuticals i guess that's that's what she's doing wait like taking them or yeah it sounds like she's a drug addict oh yeah she steals all of it yeah i mean gabe normally i would ask our listeners if there was any awkward moments that happened during the date i feel like i don't need to ask there was one funny moment when kermit and miss piggy started arguing over the pizza any awkward moments that happened during the date. I feel like I don't need to ask that. The whole date was kind of... There was one funny moment

when Kermit and Miss Piggy started arguing over the pizza. You know, it got heated. Let me guess. Miss Piggy not a fan of pineapple on pizza is what you're saying. Yeah. Miss Piggy was not having the Canadian bacon. She got midway through a slice and just went,

wait, what's on this frog? Naturally, Kermit did a kermit did a lot of drama i could see that throwing a wrench in your date for sure you said though that one of your friends got a kiss so admittedly i kind of went for a kiss i may have been a little quick to the shot because i had kermit on me still and she instead you you know, went to go kiss Kermit, which I get it. I get it. That's how it goes sometimes. Well, she's a celebrity. Girls want to kiss him. But I'm sure Miss Piggy didn't feel

good about that either. It's a good point. It was one heck of a car ride home, I'll say. Two women upset at you after your date. Well, I'm imagining the bags are moving on their own. They're fighting inside the duffel bags. Kirby, how could you?

Yeah. How long has it been, Gabe, since you and Noelle last spoke? It's been like a week, week and a half. You know, we said we were going to set up like a brunch or something afterwards. Like she seemed really into the idea. I texted her a bunch of times, but I still haven't heard anything back. I just kind of. Did you tell her that the puppets wouldn't come on the second date?

I did. I said, maybe it's mostly just Gabe this time. Okay. Mostly. Yeah, mostly. All right. It's almost secure. It may bring Oscar the Grouch, just in case.

We have a lot to work with here. Kermit, what do you think we should do in this situation? I think we should perhaps play a song really quick and then come back and call Noelle and try and get your second date update. That's what Kermit does, right? That was great. Oh, yeah. That was awesome. You got approval from Gabe.

We're going to play a song. We'll come back and we'll call Noelle for a second date update right after this. Second date update. If you're just joining us, one of our listeners, Gabe, went out for pizza with a woman named Noelle recently. And they were joined by some of his friends, Kermit and Miss Piggy. Because Gabe is a, quote, professional amateur puppeteer. Professional amateur? Yeah, yeah.

We've already gone over that. Okay, that's right. It's an issue. He actually brought along some of his Muppets with him and basically put on a show at the pizzeria. Yeah. And we heard a lot about what the Puppets said

and did and ate. But, Gabe, we never talked about alcohol on the date. Was Kermit getting turnt? Oh. Maybe not Kermit, but Gabe was for sure.

Okay. I know Kermit likes to drink iced tea more. Yeah. Tea than anything. That makes sense. I mean, the thing is, Gabe, do you have any regrets about your Muppet show? I mean, it went on

45 minutes long. No, absolutely not. Okay. I like that. A man that stands behind his people. That's confidence. Women respond to that. So it's been a week, and Noelle is still not calling you back. On a scale of 1-100%, what are the chances that the reason she isn't calling you is because of the puppets?

That's a good question. I'm going to say 50. 50-50. Okay. 50-50 chance. Those are pretty good odds. I can see that. Someone's either going to be, oh, that's so funny and cute, or they're going to be like, dude, it's a date.

I wasn't feeling that. There's no in between. Yeah, I agree. Okay, well, let's a date. I wasn't feeling that. There's no in between. Yeah, I agree. Okay, well let's find out which 50% it lies on. We're going to dial Noelle's number right now. We're going to get your second date update, okay? Okay. You know, at the end of the day, it was on my profile. She knew what she was getting into.

Yeah, that's true. No regrets. Alright, I like that. No regrets. That's what Kermie would say. I'm going to dial the number right now. Here we go. Hello? Hi. Is this Noelle?

Yes. Hey, Noelle. My name is Jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. How are you doing? Who is this? From a morning radio show. It's called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Yeah.

Okay. Oh, cool. Thank you. Thanks for listening. Or at least knowing, knowing someone that else, someone else that listens. Yeah. I want to know what you want.

Okay. Okay. I'll just get right to it then this is a segment that we do called a second date update that's where if you go out with one of our listeners and afterwards if you're not calling them back they reach out to us to call you so we can help them figure out the reason why okay okay who is this well again my name's jeff like the namesake brooke and jeffrey i know who you are but who is the guy okay i'm just getting clarity because jeffrey you're making jeffrey so nervous for some

reason noelle it's awesome definitely more confrontational i mean it's a lot of you guys talking i want y'all to get to the point yeah okay sorry i don't want to waste your time here we interrupted her day right the listener that we're calling on behalf of... I'm actually working. I'm working. The listener's name is Gabe. Do you remember going out with Gabe? Yeah. He actually called you guys? Yes. He did. It makes sense. It makes sense he would do something like that. Yeah.

What do you mean? Because he must have too much time on his hands. This makes sense. Can I just ask, because he said that you guys met on a dating app. When you saw on the dating app that he was a professional amateur puppeteer, what were you thinking? I was fine with it.

So I'm into theater. Okay. I like eclectic guys. Okay. So you're kind of excited about the date then. Yeah, but he took it too far. Which,

which part of it went too far for you? The whole thing from beginning to end. Oh, so you're talking about the pizza. The whole thing from beginning to end. Oh. So you're talking about the pizza. The pizza was way over the line. No, dummy, that's fine. I don't care about the pizza. We're talking about the puppets.

Can you describe the date from your perspective? Because the way he describes it, it sounds like a quirky, fun night of a puppet performance and pizza. Like it sounded really innocent. That would have been fine if that was the truth. Okay. I don't get quirky fun vibes from her.

So what's the truth? What was it really like? Okay, so from the beginning, it was okay. I wasn't really surprised because that's what I read in his profile, but I just felt like it shouldn't have to be on a date though. That's weird off the bat. Yeah.

That's why he's single, if that's what he's been doing. Well, he walked in with two duffel bags full of puppets. Yes, he did. don't that's weird off the bat yeah that's why he's single if that's what he's been doing well he walked in with two duffel bags full of puppets yes he did and i didn't know if he was gonna bomb the place or pull out a credit card out of here i don't know yeah weird so when you got to the first puppet character what was your reaction that was okay i was like okay let me just endure this and embrace this it was cute it was cool to karmic miss piggy thing or whatever that was fine but then when he the other puppet was like this mafia guy i think it was joe lavender i don't know why he called lavender like lavender supposed to be

peaceful okay you know how when somebody has the puppet he's speaking into the puppet and the guy was harassive kind of suggestive like come on he's gonna put me in a body bag and he tried to kiss me okay whoa so we like to put people in body bags what's wrong with that you know it's a joke it's funny yeah who is talking on the good name of joe lavender and joe lavender i really got hit on the other line like yeah so hold on so noelle i was supposed to let you know at a time when it was convenient that gabe's been on the other line listening and wants to talk to you but it sounds like joe lavender might be talking weirdo man i sing my song i'm mafia-esque i'm not involved with no bodies or no things i'm just i'm mafia-esque. Gabe, shut up. She didn't

like Joe Lavender. Why would you be doing Joe Lavender? Did you not hear what she said? I cannot believe you would do this. After shared Hawaiian slices. This is the disrespect that you are paying me.

Joe Lavender is going to kill us. Can you stop? I like Kermit more. Can you stop Joe Lavender? Yeah, we should stop. Put Joe Lavender back in the bag, and we'd like to talk to Gabe, please. That's a latte. Oh, hey, guys.

Hey, guys, what's up? Hey, welcome back, Gabe. Can you guys get me off this phone? He is weird. We'll get you off soon. He's weird, and it's a waste of my time. Maybe it'd be useful to help Gabe be a better dater in the future. I'm not his therapist.

I'm liking her more and more. She brings up a good point, Gabe. Gabe, are you listening to anything she just said? Could you have an apology? I mean, she was offended. What I will say, Noel, I'm sorry that's how you feel it went. That's a bad apology. I offer no apologies, and now this is my puppet.

Oh, okay. Well, listen, I'm glad you want to be yourself. I hope it works for your future. Hey, that's a nice way to say get bent. Screw off. So, Noelle, I'm guessing you don't really like Gabe that much. I mean, no, I try to. And it just went too extra bizarre. Too extra bizarre.

Hashtag that. I'm sensing a lot of friction here, obviously. But friction is what you need to create a spark, and spark starts a fire. I think the fire's burned everything. Is this where you're going to ask Noelle if she wants to go out again? I would love... I'm not going out with him again. Okay, maybe if you won't go out with Gabe,

but maybe you'll go out with Joe Lavender. Can we put Joe Lavender on the line? Joe? Yes, Joe Lavender is here. Hey, it's lonely at the top. It's lonely at the top. Yeah. What?

It's lonely at the bottom because you're weird. Well, this call isn't going very well Frankly, I can't He was censoring himself quite a bit That was holding back That was PG Joe Lavender After midnight, it's a whole other story I don't want to know what happens With the puppets after midnight

I want to watch that Muppets episode You're going to see him on a Netflix special about being a weird puppet murderer. Hell no. That is a compliment, and I appreciate that. Oh, my God. Okay, I'm hanging up. I'm hanging up. All right.

Thank you for your time, Noelle. You're awesome. Thank you. Call me from some radio station. Oh, my God. Okay. You can hang up now, Noelle. Okay, she doesn't like us.

Gabe, it doesn't seem like she was the best match for you. Hey, you know, there are a lot of fish out in that sea, and I plan on swimming. Really? I would say, like, maybe rework that whole Joe Lavender character a little bit more. He seems aggressive, bro. No, no, I think Joe is pretty good. I think it's everyone else with the problem. Oh, okay, that makes sense hey gay man if you hear a knock at your door later it's not because i had

somebody go over to check you out to make sure that you're you know okay yeah no need to worry i'm glad i'm on the radio does this mean i get a show now yeah you know what joe you can take over from my position because i'm obviously terrible at this. Okay, here we go. This is Broken Joe in the morning, tuning them tunes from morning until noon. There you go. Yeah, Broken Joe Lavender. Good luck, Brooke.

I'm going to pass. I'm going to pass. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them.

More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, vice president of client strategy at Athletes First. Introducing the Athletes First family podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much.

And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday. On the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs.

For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.