Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: My Type of Weird

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

Chris and Teresa’s date STARTED with bubble tea, and ENDED with him TACKLING her in public. He says it’s a good thing, we’ll let you decide coming up in your Second Date Update!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And it is about to get real weird. Weirder than normal. Real weird. Welcome to it. We've got a guide today who the entire point of their date was to be strange. And man, did they accomplish it? So you're going to hear us all be a little uncomfy. Yeah, throughout this one.

I hope you enjoy it. But first, let's get to comments. Yeah, Brin Hunter said, Hi Brooke and Jeffrey. I love listening to your show because it shows me how great my dating life has been. It shows me what I will most likely not have to deal with. Hey. P.S. Jeff, you should try dating a religious girl. Brooke, you're fine. Alexis, you have no hope. And Jose, keep riding the rodeo, man.

What a message. All right. Bro, if I'm involved in the rodeo, I'm just one of those clowns running away. I have no idea what's going on. I like that Alexis is the one she gave up on it. Okay. All right. There it is. Your brand new second date update starts right now. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

Over the years, we tend to hear about the same dating apps over and over here. Hinge, Bumble, C-PAPS singles. You know their tagline. That should be a thing. What is it? C-PAPS singles, less snoring, more scoring. Hey. C-PAP.

I like it. That would be so funny going to bed next to each other just, oh. That's hot. I'm about to introduce you to a brand new matchmaking app that we've never heard about on the show before. That's a big promise. And I feel like it's going to arouse a lot of interest from people in this room. Really?

At least one person. And that person could be me. You're already aroused. Maybe. You don't need a truck stop app. Yeah. You just go. It's not that one.

Apparently it's called Shmoos. And our listener, Chris, said he used it to find his dates. So I'm interested. Chris, you're on the phone with us. What is schmooze? I like it. It sounds fancy. It's a cute name for a dating.

It is. Shmoos, like, basically uses funny memes instead of standard bios and match people up. No way. Wait, how does that work? That's brilliant. Instead of a profile, you just put up memes that you think are humorous. Exactly.

So basically, you have the profile, right? And you have your favorite memes on it. I like that. I really like. You can tell a lot. Keep the meme people together, I think. I'm so curious. What memes did you have on your profile?

I like a good old Chuck Norris meme Oh yeah Okay Like nothing kills Chuck Norris type of jokes Yeah yeah Gonna get some hot 50 and 60 year old women Interested in that one, I think So

Yeah who'd you match with Chuck Norris Do you have any better ones? Who vived with it? Well I send one girl A most interesting man in the world Meme that says I don't always go for blondes But with you I'll make an exception

Wow What a charmor? Assault. Probably worked. Yeah, that's kind of backhanded. All right. I mean, what do I get back? A woman named Teresa. She sends me a distracted boyfriend, me.

You know that one? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is it the one where he's walking with his girlfriend and then there's another girl walking by and he's turning to look at the hot girl behind him? Exactly. And she changed the caption to say, are you talking about me?

Oh, okay. I don't know who you're talking. Okay. I'm so lost. Jim, you would never use this app. I'm curious. On Shmoos, how. How many memes do you go back and forth before you actually have a conversation?

Well, about half a dozen. And then we exchange phone numbers. Oh. Okay. Via meme or just straight up? It was a meme for it? Straight up. Okay.

Chuck Norris calls this number when he wants a date. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. See, you can make one. All right. So does this eventually lead to an in-person date? Of course.

You know, next thing you know, we're on a day. in bubble tea. Oh. Okay. Can you communicate without memes in person? Yeah, how does that go? That's the problem.

It was awkward, but, you know, I'm an awkward guy, too. Can you describe the awkwardness? Well, it was dead silence here and there, but eventually I'm like, hey, do you want to go to my car and make out? What? Whoa.

What? So you're not awkward. I don't know that was the vibe. You're having awkward silent moments during boba tea, and then you just, offer a midday makeout in a car? Well, we met on a meme site, so obviously we aren't great talkers.

Okay. Okay. Did she say yes? She says yes. Wow. All right. You were reading it right, apparently. So you went to your car and made house?

How did that go? Well, we were all over each other, you know, front seat and back seat. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Are there people walking by your car? Our car was right in front of the mid window. In front of, like, the door? I can imagine it like a strip ball parking lot.

Wild. Yeah. I mean, did you guys notice the people watching or? I kind of got the vibe that she was into that. Oh, wow. A little voyeuristic. Okay. And so is that how the date ended with a car makeout in front of bubble tea?

No, I said maybe we get out of here. And she suggested we walk to a park across the street and role play. What? What? What? Roll play what? Like Larpine? Or? Well, so we go over there and she's like, I'm going to start walking. You come up from behind and take my purse. What?

Roll play mugging. She said, I'll run after you and tackle you behind that tree. And then whatever happens happens. But now she's not calling me back. Well, wait, what happened once you tackled you behind the tree? Yeah. No comments. She is a feisty.

lady. Yeah. She likes a little bit of danger in her life. In public places. Yeah. So, Chris, I hate to ask this, but how are you going to feel if it turns out Teresa got turned off because your mugging wasn't aggressive enough? Wasn't, yeah. It wasn't believable enough.

She was like, I expected to get mugged by Chuck Norris, not Pee We Herman, so maybe you disappointed her. Oh, that's got to be it. Well, I didn't tackle her at 100%, so maybe that could have been. But did you keep her. wallet because that might be a plus for you. You know what? I should have done that.

There we go. That's rookie mugger. That's probably why she's not calling you back. But before we get to it, like how did it end? How did you two leave it? Well, she ran one way and I ran the other. Oh.

Wait, like after you guys were done? That is so weird. That an inside meme joke? Yeah, that's a meme or a role plane. It just sounds hot, yeah. No. I'm as confused as Spider-Man in that one meme where he's pointing to himself in different costumes.

We're different types of people. We met on a different type of that, and that's just how things go. Well, there's going to be a learning experience for all of us. I can guarantee you that. Yeah. But you do like her, though. I do. He wants at least one more mugging.

Yeah. Okay. Or answers at least. Yeah. Well, that's exactly what we'll ask her permission to do when we come back and do your second date update. We'll see if Teresa's open to being mugged in a public park by you one more time when we do it right after this. Hold on.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update. If you're just joining us, it's definitely a second date update on the odd side. Yeah. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Let's call it unique, Jeff. That's a nice way. Extremely unique.

And I'm going to recap this, and I'm not embellishing in any way. This is exactly how Chris described what happened. I love to hear it in a full sentence. He met a woman named Teresa on an app called Shmooze, where you flirt via meme. Mm-hmm. Then they met up at bubble tea where the conversation wasn't great so they switched it up and went to go make out in Chris's car

directly out front of the bubble tea shop. Yeah. For everyone to see. It was not night and there was no alcohol involved. She seemed to like that actually. And Chris described it as different but pleasurable and we know that because they continued the date afterwards with a little role play fake mugging in the park edition

which was Teresa's idea we should mention. And he said it went pretty good. Pretty good. And it just sounds so romantic. And then wait. They ended by running off in different directions. Yeah.

It does beg the question, though. Are you just plain weird or the right kind of weird for somebody else? That's sometimes what love really comes down to. We're going to find out here. Chris, what type of weird do you think Teresa is? Well, she's my kind of weird.

Yeah, that's all that matters. We might be the weird. ones for not doing this. Yeah. I mean, you've never mugged your date in a park and gotten a make-out session out of it, Jeff. I'm not romantic in the way Chris is. That's right. I mean, I've roleplay.

I've never had a girl ask me to mug her. So that is a different level. So you don't role play. Not really, but let's find out. I'm going to dial Teresa's number. We'll see if she picks up and hopefully she agrees to play more with you. Uh-oh. Let's do it.

Hey, is this Teresa? Yes, who's this? Hey, Teresa, thank you for answering. We're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I thought you're going to mug her. It's a stick up. We don't know each other that one. Oh, that's right.

Hello? Hi, Teresa. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Hi, good morning. There's a studio full of people here. Yeah. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, and we do this segment called the second date update. We would really like you to be a part of it.

I'm sorry. How did you get my number? Great question to start. Somebody gave it to us. Yep. A guy named Chris gave it to us after he went on a. on a date with you. And now you're not calling him back.

Yeah. And we're all wondering why. Mostly Chris. Oh, wow. That's weird. I know, but it's probably kind of flattering, right? Like, he likes you that much that... No.

No. No. Well, what did you think about Chris? The whole date was just a mistake. So I don't think there's anything to talk about. Oh. A whole day. From beginning to end?

You're regretting. and even saying yes. But you matched with him, you went out on a date with him, and from what we heard, you had some suggestions for activities that you two should do together. So what do you mean that it was a mistake? Okay. This is embarrassing to say, but I was just trying to get back with my ex, and so I just planned this date, and that's why it's a mistake.

Wait, you were just... Oh, you're trying to make someone jealous? Yeah. I was trying to get back with my ex since I planned this date with Chris. Wait, I don't understand. Can you just explain the plot of your idea here? Yeah.

How are you trying to get back together? Okay. Okay, so I had texted that Boba place to my ex, like, meet me here, and I had planned this date, and I was hoping he would see me on the date, and he would get jealous and get back with me. That's why the whole thing was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it, and it was stupid.

Yeah. Was the X there? What happened? No, the X didn't show up. And I don't know if Chris told you this, but he was like, do you want to make out? I was like, okay, because we're parked right in front of the boba shop. So still see us if he's late. Oh, my God.

Is that why you were being so passionate in the car? I mean, we did hear about the car makeout just so you know. He said it was extremely passionate. It was awkward. Probably because you had one eye on the street the entire time. time looking for him. You got to commit. Did the ex ever show up and see you? No, so then I messaged him like, oh, meet me at the park. Wait, you messaged him in the middle of your date? Yeah. Yeah, you know, you check your phone like really quickly, you know? Yeah, you don't

check your phone mid-makeouts, Brooke? So the only reason you continued to the park with Chris is because then you were hoping he'd be there? Yeah, and I'm ashamed to admit it because this is pretty bad, but I asked him to like pretend mug me and then he, I just thought, okay, my ex-boyfriend will run in and save me, you know, and then none of that happened. It was a stupid idea. Wow. So wait, so you kind of like made out with the guy, fooled around with the guy, and your boyfriend never saw any of it.

All for nothing. X. I can't believe I'm telling you guys this, but like I own up to it. Like, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it. No, no. You don't own up to it. it because you're just telling us you never called Chris back.

Poor Chris was used. I know, but why do you tell somebody you went on a date with like, hey, I was just using you. I'm sorry. It was in the face. That is mean. Yeah. I'd rather go to somebody than tell them. Well.

Oh, you should. Yeah. Maybe your ex didn't show up to your plan, to your, you know, fake dates. But maybe your ex is listening to this segment right now. Because I know Chris is, since he's on the other line listening to it waiting to talk to you. Oh, my God. Really? Yeah.

That's how this works. Yeah. Sorry, Teresa. I'd be so mad if I was Chris. Chris, are you there? Hi. Hey, Chris. You heard all that?

Yeah. So, I just need to understand something. Listen, so our conversation at Bubble T wasn't real. You weren't feeling anything? Not that it wasn't real. I did have a good time with you. I just was more focused on getting back with me. my ex. Okay, like, you mentioned the ex, but our messy kiss, that was definitely different.

It was so much teeth. It was my teeth and your teeth. Like, that wasn't real? That sounds passionate. They're just banging their teeth. Oh, that's the word. And that sounds awful, doesn't it? Like, it wasn't a good makeout session. Girl, you need to get over this ex. Like, he obviously is over you. He didn't show up to Boba T. He didn't show up to the part. And you know what? He's not weird like. me, okay? And you're weird. Like, we match. It's actually kind of cute and romantic.

It's a good point. I'm not even going to lie. Would your ex-boyfriend pretend to mug you in a park just to win you over? No, I mean, he'd rescue me, though. I know he would if he showed up. Teresa, I was a guy that showed up that day. I was a guy that was chasing you. I was a guy that wrestled to the ground. I was there. Yeah.

It was like a Ryan Gosling movie. I mean. you in the sake of love. If you don't pay attention to the specific wording of it, the sentiment behind it is really sweet. I mean, Chris should be really mad at you and he's not. Yeah. I know, but you guys

realize none of this would have happened with the teethy makeup and the mugging if my heart wasn't in the right place. You know what I mean? Like, I planned this whole thing and it was stupid, but none of this would have happened. But just because it didn't go according to your plan doesn't mean fate wasn't involved. Maybe you were meant

to meet Chris in this weird fun way just so that you two could ultimately be together. Teresa, right now, I'm sending you to the piano playing cat meme just to show you how much I like. Oh. Aw, cute.

I don't know how that works, but yes. Thank you, but I'm still hung up on my ex, and I don't know how to, like, let go of that yet. You're in denial about the ex is what's happening, Teresa. And once you're finally over it, you're going to realize that you let the good one get away. Right after he mugged you. Maybe, but I don't know.

Let's find out if you know for not, because I'm going to offer you a date with Chris, paid for by us. Is there a meme for that? I don't know. But maybe this time you chase him through the park. I'd be totally into that. Oh. He's weird enough for it. Are you, Teresa?

Listen, Chris, you're so nice. You don't want to start a relationship with someone who's hung up on their ex. I wouldn't want to do that to you because you're so nice. I mean, your ex didn't understand you're weird. Like, I like you're weird. I love the unpredictability. I think it's fun. I mean, Teresa, we understand it's a no, but could you at least be open to considering

reaching out to Chris if it ever finally falls through with your ex once and for all? Send him a meme. I think I can do that. Oh, look at that. We got Chris upgraded to a backup plan. That's good. I mean, you know, the most interesting man in the world says, I'm not usually a backup plan.

But this time it's okay. I think that'd be funnier if we could see it. I don't think it would be. I think that's a bad meme. I'm glad it takes other people. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Love horror movies, but also working on yourself. Mental health is horrifying is the podcast where those two worlds collide.

I'm Candace Green, a registered psychotherapist, and I'm inviting you to journey into the darkness with me. I explore the mental health theme. behind your favorite horror stories and what they can teach us about fear, resilience, and healing. It's self-care with a sinister twist. Listen to mental health is horrifying

on the free IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and IHeart Women's Sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days.

So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo roer to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating? The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi.

You get the palm, Naomi. I mean, you get the harm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Oh, poor, sweet, considerate Chris, being weird for the wrong lady.

Yeah. How is he going to find someone else that is on his same wavelength? I will say a lot of people are texting in 7-8-5-9-2 saying, oh, I love Chris. I want Chris to mum. Mug Me. And there's a whole app meant for him.

Yeah. So go tell him yourself. Log on to the Shmooze app. Oh, yeah. I thought you were talking about the Mug Me app. Oh. But that's different.

We'll have to build that one. Yeah. Or you can go tell them on our podcast. You can comment whatever weird role play you'd like Chris to do for you. No, do not comment that, Jeff.

We don't want that type of comments. I want to read the comments. Oh, rob me at a movie theater. Yeah. Do it to make your ex jealous. Anyway, if you ever want help with your dating life, email the show.

We can call that person. who's not calling you back. And like I said, find our podcasts. We have literally thousands of second dates up online. Yeah. Where have you find them at Brooke and Jeffrey. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, A.O. rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here.

You fully improvised, not just words, but a song about it. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AEO, rewatch on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist, Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl Sam Jay. And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports,

a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka, showing out. Shoutouts to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashan Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift.

And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Nick Tutro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue. the longest yard or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Titoro,

I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing, my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Titoro.

It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick And listen now. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse. The world gets crazier.

And Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. On Raiders of the Lost podcast, we explore cinema like no one else,

including huge interviews with stars like Ryan Gosling on Project Hail Mary. It was like the Jaws shark. Didn't always work, came with its own problems. That's what made it great. The cast of obsession. On set, there was so much magic happening with each scene we were putting together. Deep dives into classics like 2001 of Space Odyssey or Fight Club, plus weekly episodes on all industry news.

Listen to Raiders of the Lost podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And for more, follow at Raiders of the Lost podcast and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok.