Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Nathan of the Night

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

The entire show was very surprised by how today’s Second Date finished. And we think all our listeners will agree… it was Brooke’s fault. Hear it for yourself in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update Dating in today's world feels like a big competition to see who has the best-looking profile with the most compelling bio and the least corny pickup lines. I mean, it's tough to find a real authentic love connection now. And that's why it's no surprise most of our listeners who fail to get a second date turn

to inflate a date. What's that? I'm not going to go into what that is. Oh, wait. Exactly what you think. I thought it was inflation at first. It didn't make sense. I get it now.

There is a 100% success rate with inflate a date. I hope that our new friend Nathan doesn't go down that road. As long as no needles or sharp objects or taps are around. There's a sharp object, actually. You don't want it to be. Welcome to the show. What's in your Amazon cart right now? And it better not come with a small hand pump.

Nathan? You're with your inflated date right now? I didn't want to interrupt. No, no, I'm all good. small hand pump. Nathan? You're with your inflated date right now? I didn't want to interrupt. No, no, I'm all good. I can pull my inflated date down. Oh, nice. So casual about it. Deflator. I'll come back to you later.

Just imagine her flying around like a balloon. We'll get back to her. First, tell us about the real lady that you connected with the other day. What's her name? So I met this beautiful girl on Hinge. Right. Her name?

Her name is Jessica. Jessica. Okay. What'd you like about her? You know, really everything. But let me start from the beginning. Let me start how we met. Oh, okay. Is there more to just on H from the beginning. Let me start how we met. Oh, okay.

Is there more to just on Hinge? I feel like we get how that works. Her name's Jessica. I met her on Hinge. Go back farther. He's like, I opened the app. Started typing in my bio. So basically how it all started was I left a comment on one of her pictures.

She was wearing these boots and it made me think of Reno 911. So I just said, new boot just said New Boot Goofin. New Boot Goofin. New Boot Goofin. We love that. Sure, nobody's heard that joke, but I still like it. Yeah, just Google New Boot Goofin. It's great. No idea what you're talking about.

You haven't seen New Boot Goofin? So funny. Oh, my gosh. Isn't that show like 20 years old? Yeah, but the clip is still iconic. And I've seen that on TikTok and Instagram. Yeah, yeah. People use it when they buy new shoes.

New Boot Goofin. I mean, you guys are missing out, Brooke. It's funny to somebody out there. It's hysterical. Millions of people are laughing right now. Okay, just be jealous. Just no one in this room. So Jessica liked that.

She liked the new boot Goof. Yeah, she did. Yeah, she laughed like a bitch. Goof in. Goof in. Oh, excuse me. It's a new boot Goof in. To butcher the hilarious joke.

Come on, man. Even they bonded over it. That's hilarious joke that's good that's good take my cynicism away and it sounds like you guys have a good connection tell me more yeah and so uh we ended up meeting of course did she wear the boots when you first oh no no no she's not wearing the boots but uh she was wearing these sunglasses and a fuzzy Russian hat. Fuzzy Russian hat? When you guys met up? Yeah, yeah. And she looked like a Russian spy. Like a beautiful Russian spy. Oh, like with the ear flaps.

No, not like a Hunter Elmer Fudd hat. It's like a stovepipe hat without the brim. Oh, yeah. Can you picture that? Okay. And you liked that? Oh, yeah yeah what did you guys do well you know we talked about music at first was going for a walk and the issue something about a record player okay so she's like vintage she likes vintage stuff exactly so okay obviously I'm thinking let's go to a record store.

Oh, yeah. Good idea. All right. What was it like going to a record store with a real girl instead of an inflatable one? Was it a good time? He didn't have to turn her sideways to fit her through the door.

That's kind of nice. I mean, I'm just messing with you. Tell me, what were some highlights from the record store? Well, I picked an album for her. Oh, okay. What'd you pick? The Batman Forever soundtrack from 95.

Interesting. Oh, okay. Is that the one with Jack Nicholson as the Joker? I don't know. Again, with the 30-year-old references, if she's into that old stuff... Remember Danny DeVito as the Penguin?

No. I remember that as a kid. I don't think I was alive. In 95? You were alive in 95, Jeff, okay? Alexis wasn't, but you definitely were. Sorry, I've been dead inside since my birth, so I don't know. Did she approve of Batman Forever?

Yeah, she liked it. She liked it. Okay. Okay. And it's nice to buy a little gift on their date. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just a little gift. It's nothing crazy.

Right. So what happened after the record store? So after a record mean, it's just a little gift. It's nothing crazy. Right. So what happened after the record store? So after a record store, we went to a candy store. Oh. All the stores. Okay.

Starting to feel a little bit like a teenage date from 1962. Yeah. And then we went roller skating. Yeah, and we got a bunch of lollipops.

Huh. That's like the worst candy in there. There's like a million things. Are you guys vibing? No, no, no. I'm telling you,

I was nervous. I was really nervous. Oh, okay. It was like when I was at the candy store, we had, I had four different types of candies in my hand

and I dropped a few of them on the ground and, you know, she asked me if I was nervous and if I'm feeling okay. What'd you say?

Yikes. I just said, yeah, I'm doing good. You know, I'm just if I was nervous and if I'm feeling okay. What'd you say? Yikes. I just said, yeah, I'm doing good. You know, I'm just excited to be here with her. Yeah, clearly. I was trying to think you were nervous and you were just like, hi. It sounds like the date didn't go maybe the way you hoped that it would go in your mind. That's what I'm trying to say. Or how anybody's date would ever want to go in their minds, too.

But you made the best of it. I mean, she didn't seem mad, though, or of it i mean she didn't seem mad though or anything no she didn't seem mad but it kind of ended abruptly she you know she had plans to go out with friends at night so okay so it seems like your intentions were there it sounds like the nerves the nerves got the best of you there it is yeah and it just was maybe a turn off do you think for her yeah it has to be because she's not responding like she was before. How long has it been? It's been about a week. Okay.

Hmm. Did she at least take home the Batman album? She did. Okay. There you go. That's one small victory. There we go. We're going to try and get a couple more and hopefully another date.

Get the pump ready just in case we don't. Yeah, this is a win-win if you think about it. Yeah, so we're going to do it it get your second date update right after this second date update while we were waiting i looked up the batman forever soundtrack from 1995 and the main title on there is kiss from a rose from the artist seal oh my god that was when he was married to heidi klum back in the day. Do you remember that? When I play this song, Brooke, and you hear it, what does it make you think of

from your life? What flashback are you having right now? Oh, I feel like I'm in a junior high dance all over again. Oh, which teacher are you slow dancing with? Mr. Holt, obviously. Oh, wow. Duh. That was a quick name drop. Yeah, she knew exactly.

I like those history boys. Yikes. This song makes me think of my underwear, my blue Batman undies from when I was six. Cool. In fact,

I'm sure as we speak, my mom is going to be sending pictures of me wearing them to all your Facebook messengers because she loves listening to this and embarrassing me

wherever and whenever she is. We do have a group chat, and she's the only one talking. She's really going to get us flagged for some of the things she sends us. I bring up Batman Forever because Nathan bought his date, the Batman Forever soundtrack, while they were at the record store before they went and hit up the candy store

to get some lollipops. But what is it about Jessica that made you want to email us today, Nathan? What is so special about her? You know, sometimes you just feel like someone's the one. Whoa! That came in hot. I thought you were just going to say she was super attractive.

Yeah. I built a lot of threes and fours, but she's a number one. Also a number ranking. Oh, okay. Maybe Mr. Holt thought you were the one, bro. Mr. Holt couldn't have me. Yeah, for legal reasons.

Thank God. Good thing. Enough looking back into the past. Let's move forward into the future and hopefully get you another date here with Jessica. I'm going to dial her number right now. Here we go. Hello? Hey, is this Jessica?

Yes. Hey, Jessica. She's the one. She answered. Hi, Jessica. It's meant to be, or maybe. I'm sorry. What is this about? Who's calling?

This is about love today. Because you're on a radio show right now with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. What? Okay. What's up? Oh, I like you. You're happy. Yeah, you're a go-with-the-flow type of woman, it sounds like. I try.

I try. Well, we're reaching out on behalf of one of our listeners who you hung out with the other day, about a week ago. His name is Nathan. Oh, boy. I thought I maybe won something. Okay. What?

Oh, you thought you won something. No, you were the one, not you won. I can see how that'd be confusing. It is, yeah. How do you feel about Nathan? He seems like a nice enough guy, but it's not for me. There was some strangeness happening there.

Okay. He said he was super nervous. That would be okay, but that's not the part that kind of concerned me where I just left. Oh. Yeah. Wait, so you didn't have plans with your friends like you told him? No one ever actually has plans with their friends on a date.

I don't think so. That's just the emergency exit button. Yeah. All right. Okay, okay. That's disappointing to hear, but it's okay. Like, if you're not interested in him, that's totally up to you to feel that way. But maybe you could help Nathan understand if he made any mistakes that night or if there's

anything he could do better just in the dating world yeah right yeah i mean it was a nice date like we went to a record store and he bought me the batman album which was like really sweet of him but then he says to me sometimes i think this city is like Gotham descending into darkness. When he handed you the album, he was like trying to be Batman. Yeah, like he was the Batman. And then it gets worse. And then he brings up that sometimes he likes to drive around by himself at night and call the cops on people who are breaking the law. Oh.

Who does he find breaking the law? I'm just curious. He didn't super elaborate, and I was so shocked. I was just kind of like, oh, okay, yeah. Is that because you're pro-crime? You don't want the crime to happen? No, I just don't really picture the man in my life zooming around the city at 2 a.m. catching bad guys.

What is he doing? Is he showing up to bars guys the sign says they're close okay okay wait this could have been a joke that didn't hit right maybe he was a little too comic-con like and i didn't leave then like i kept going i was like okay so then we went to the store and oh yeah i mean he mentioned that you guys went to a candy store and were thinking about buying some lollipops. Yeah, the straw that just ended it was like there were five lollipops and he's like well this is how many kids we would be having. What?

That's not first date energy. No. You're definitely thinking different things. I'm just really hoping he was trying to be funny. Because he is on the other line listening, wanting to talk to you. Oh no, really? Lurking in the dark. Nathan.

On the dark phone. Are you there? Oh my god. Hello? Hi. There he is. Hi, Nathan. Hi, hi. That was some truth, Nathan, huh he is. Hi, Nathan. Hi, hi. Well, that was some truth, Nathan, huh? Yeah.

I mean, I like to do that. I like to make sure the city's safe. Wait, what? Oh, no. Okay. You actually drive around at night and call the cops on people? It's not every night, but they need help. They're understaffed.

Everybody knows that. Okay. Who do you call the cops on you know like the other day i saw like some guy it looked like he was drinking alcohol in his car so i called the cops on him how could you tell that it was a glass bottle there was a school nearby you know i had to do my due diligence so you really do that we we thought maybe you were joking just in light of buying the Batman soundtrack. Yeah.

But that's a real thing you do. Yeah, it's a real thing. And it's not as weird as it sounds. It's actually very helpful. Well, neighborhood watches changed a lot since I was a kid. Don't get any. Well, I know Brooke calls the cops on the kids in her neighborhood. Yeah, yeah.

He's obviously, he protects the kids. But at least she's doing it during the daytime. I do not. I do not. It just sounds like maybe that's more of a nuisance to them than anything. Yeah. They never told me that. Okay.

I mean, it is kind of brave to go out, put yourself in the middle of crime. Well, he's not really putting himself. He's just calling the cops on the criminals. He's parking adjacent to crime. It's like dating a hall monitor is what it sounds like. A man with authority is what I'm hearing. This is weird that you think it's a red flag. It's not bad what I'm doing.

Sweetie, it's like a carnival of flags. Oh. A carnival of flags. That sounds fun. I know. It sounds like a good time, actually. All I care about is safety. And, you know, that's not a weird thing.

Yeah. Well, if we've learned anything from talking to women on the show, it's that they usually like more dangerous men. They're not really into the safe bet. Or that's just their actual job, not like a hobby. That's a good point. Like, have you considered trying to be a cop? It's a little too dangerous for me.

I'd rather just stay back and call him on my cell phone. You know? Crossing guard might be the next best step. We all have a job to do and you know that's my job. That's not your job though. Okay. He has five future kids that he has to take care of someday.

We haven't gotten to you bringing that up. Why would you bring that up on a date? Well, what am I not supposed to talk about? My expectations for a future family? I mean, I would wait until somebody asks. Maybe not on the first date. Yeah.

Nathan, I can see where you're going wrong because in your head, you're protecting your community. You're a family man. Shove it up your a**. Wait a your community. You're a family man. No, shove it up your ass. Oh, me? Wait a minute. I'm defending you, bro. No, you're telling me everything I want is wrong.

You know, all I want to do is communicate what I want for my future family. Okay. All right. He's also very open to criticism. Okay. Just take a breath, okay, Nathan? Just slow down a little bit. We're not coming after you or your dating style.

Yeah, I wasn't trying to do that. It just doesn't seem to be working with what Jessica wants out of her man. Oh, oh, okay. So Jessica wants a giant **** then, huh? Oh! And if she does, that's totally okay. That's her decision to date that spineless man. Dude, you were so right on the Carnival of Flags, Jessica.

Thank you, thank you. Well, we'd like to send you back on the Carnival of Flags, Jessica. Thank you. Thank you. Well, we'd like to send you back to the carnival and we'd pay for it on another date. I would not like that. You feel so much better

about everything. He's like Two-Face. He's like the villain and the hero of the season. You go on a midnight ride-along in a cop car and we'll pay for it. He doesn't have a cop car.

Okay. We'll give him a little flashy light, yeah, to put on top of it. I'm not interested. I'm not interested anymore. Oh, come on. I don't like you guys making fun of me.

No, we weren't trying to make fun of you. You called the wrong show. I don't know what, like, that's what we did. Well, let's not infuriate the man who calls the cops on everybody. I don't want to call the cops on us. We like you. I like you, at least. All right, Nathan?

All right. I know where your studio is located. A police raid. That'd be fun. If you're going to key someone's car, key Brooks. It's an electric Kia. Get hers. Say the name.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. You know, I think Nathan did bring up a good point during that call. No, he didn't. He didn't bring up any good ones. He did. He said, stop making fun of me, which I agree. Brooke, knock it off. It's supposed to be an uplifting, supportive morning show.

And there you are mocking a grown man who calls the police on people drinking in their cars while he's hanging out with his inflatable girlfriend in the passenger seat. What's funny about that, Brooke? Just nothing. That's right. Cindy, should we call the cops on that man? Stop looking shocked and answer me. Is that funny to you, Brooke? It's really funny.

Well, the segment is officially getting out of control. We gotta go back to our roots. Helping people, not mocking them. Well, if they weren't so mockable, maybe it wouldn't be a problem, Jeffrey. I mean, that guy, seriously. I'll expect better from you tomorrow, Brooke. I want you to go home and think about what you've done. For more of our brand-new Second Aid updates,

you can head over to our website, brookandjeffrey.com, to hear them. We're also putting them up on our YouTube. I like it. Should I not? Thank you. You're learning your lesson. Someone turn a new leaf. Check it out online, brookandjeffrey.com. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done

with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without

the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts