Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Not A Happy Camper

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

One of our listeners botched her date after trying to give him an honest compliment…. Hear how we tried to help her out her problem in a Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

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Second Date Update Alexis, what do you find attractive in a guy's profile online? Maybe he's got a great smile. Oh, good smile is good. His profile says he works for White Claw. Oh, wait. I would definitely message that. Stop it.

That's the prompt I would click to. Mango flavor only. Yeah. He's a roadie for Nickelback. Oh, wait. Sorry. That's Brooke prompt I would click to. Mango flavor only. Yeah. He's a roadie for Nickelback. Oh, wait. Sorry. That's Brooke's thing. My bad.

But one of our listeners had something else that she was instantly attracted to on a guy's profile that made her go, ooh. What is it? I need to know him. Let's talk to Kelly a little bit. Kelly, welcome to the show. Hi. Thank you. Hey.

Did he work for Truly? I feel like every guy listening is about to change their profile. Welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. Did he work for Truly? I feel like every guy listening is about to change their profile to include whatever it is you're about to say. Yeah, tell us about this guy. Okay, well, I found this guy, Mike, while I was searching on the app. Oh, it's his exotic name. Ooh, Mike. Not many of them.

Mike with a Q. Yeah. Wow. Must be European. What was it about Mike that stood out so much? Okay, this is weird, but I really enjoy grocery shopping. Oh. Okay.

It was like therapeutic or something. Like some people enjoy cleaning. Yeah. I mean, I really like cooking, and then I also really like finding new products. Interesting. I just love paying all that money. And it is soothing when you're in the produce section and the thunder goes like...

And then it sprinkles all over all the vegetables. I do enjoy that. That's the only time I shower all week. You guys, no. I'm serious. I know you're serious. I'm going to go in hard no. Kelly, I'm with you. Even if everybody else hates the grocery store. Did you find Jeffrey online and his profile

said that uh mike yeah i was joking yeah yeah it's fine it wasn't that funny so i forgive you kelly sorry we were going off for a while what did you see on mike's profile so he had a photo of himself in the produce aisle just kind of like being goofy and holding, you know, some fruits and vegetables. Oh, please don't tell me it was a dude holding two melons. Also, do you ever wonder who takes that pic? I hope it's not random. Excuse me, person that works here. Can you picture me holding a giant eggplant?

So you saw that that was a turn-on to you? Yeah, I mean, you know, I figured if you're cute under fluorescent lighting, you got to be cute in real life. Yeah. And was he? He was. So we talked and we made plans to meet up at this bar. And then when I met him, he was he was way hotter than I thought he was in the photo. Okay.

Even hotter. Yeah. So I kind of told him that as a compliment that his photos online were not great. Oh. Wait, did you word it that way? Well, I don't really remember exactly how I said it, but I kind of was like, you know, your photos online aren't good because you're so much more attractive in person. Kind of a save. Kind of. person kind of a save kind of that one sits weird with i don't know about you guys but for me

whenever i meet listeners and they're like oh you're not as ugly as i thought you were on my i thought i looked i think more guys i feel like more guys do look better in person yeah was he offended i mean i also think he maybe was a little offended but i like tried to make him understand that it was a compliment and i offered to take photos for him so that he could use which i now realize is maybe weird on this oh yeah it's like you're trying to set him up for the next person that he meets on the app i mean if a girl said that to you don't you feel like you just got friend zoned yeah pretty much yeah i i honestly was just like nervous and was trying to flirt with her in my weird way. I get it.

I mean, you tried to save it at least, right? It wasn't like you left it at like, you're way hotter than your ugly pictures online. All right, bye. Did you actually take new pictures for him? No, no, I didn't. Alexis was wondering who's the one that takes the pics. It's you. What did you do at the bar?

Drink and talk. We don't know that with her. Ins more no no no we just like talking and getting to know each other and then we brought up camping which um well i really like he is like kind of newer to outdoor these stuff yeah but rei came up and he said he had never been and i freaking freaking love REI. Oh, see, Brooke feels about REI how you feel about grocery shopping. Oh, I love going to REI. It's so fun. Don't they have like climbing walls and stuff there? Yeah, every time you go in, you're like, God, I need to start a new outdoor hobby.

I'm going to buy a kayak and a mountain bike. Nothing hotter than talking about REI on a first date. Wait till you get your first dividend check. Then you're going to be like, what's a dividend check? You get money to spend at the end of the year because it's a co-op. Oh, is that like a senior citizen thing? That's why we don't get it.

Okay, I can't wait. So you went? You just took them? Yeah, obviously. Oh, wow. Two drunks at the REI on the first date. I wish I would have been there just to witness you guys walking around.

Just test out this sleeping bag. How did that go? I mean, it was cute. just to witness you guys walking around. Just test out this sleeping bag. I mean, how did that go? I mean, it was cute. I was walking around, making jokes. Did he still seem interested, or was he just lying about being interested? You know what I mean? Like, someone says they're super into something, and you're like, yeah, that's cool. I like that, too.

Well, I don't lie to people on dates like you do, Brooke, so I'm not sure what that's like. It seemed like he was genuinely interested. I mean, maybe he was flying, but I don't know. I thought we were having a good time. Okay, so you're clueless? You have no ideas? No idea. All right, and how long has this been since you gave him the tour of REI? It's been three weeks. Hey, wait. Maybe you're such a good tour guide.

You motivated him to go camping, and he's still out in the wilderness right now not receiving any phone calls. Or he's missing because he's too new to it and couldn't find his way back. You killed him! It's called hashtag van life, Brooke. And we're going to check in on him. Hopefully he answers when we call and try and get you your second date update right after this. Thank you.

All right, hold on. Second date update. We got a text to 78592 that says, what's REI? What the heck? I guess not everybody would know. It's all over the world. That doesn't mean

everybody knows what it is. If you haven't been there, it's a chain of outdoor recreation stores where they sell all sorts, like bikes, camping gear, harnesses, whatever you would need to be outside. Even like the North Face hoodies, which that's the only thing I've ever bought from REI. Have you been to a store? No, I bought it online.

Oh, okay. They do have an online store, too. Go check them out. REI.com. That's a good brand. But I should ask Brooke this question because you've been there a lot. Yep. Are there hot people who work there or walk around there a lot?

Hot people? Yeah, there's definitely attractive people. Oh my God, I just got a board from there this last year and the girl who fitted me for the board, smoking. See, that's what I'm worried about. I'm worried that when Kelly took Mike to the REI store, I'm hoping that he didn't meet some sexy, outdoor climbing enthusiast who invited him to scale her twin peaks right there in the back room.

Because we've heard stuff like this happening before where somebody else swoops in in the middle of the day. And I bet they have a pretty big back room. There's a lot of big stuff that they got to move through that store. Kelly, do you think that's a possibility? Were there any attractive females while you were shopping at REI? I mean, it wasn't like he was flirting with anybody. In front of you. Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, maybe it could just be that he felt like he was forced into something he actually wasn't that interested in. Yeah, that's probably the most realistic. I mean, he couldn't keep continuing the lie, right? Because then before he knows it, he's camping with you and hating every second of it. Yeah, get out of that. I guess. I think camping is great, though. Well, I mean, I'm with you.

You know, nobody else in this room is. We have one person in this room agrees, but... Alright, let's call Mike, though, and see what he has to say. You ready to do this, Kelly? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, here we go. Hello? Hey, I'm looking for Mike. Yeah, is this the bill collector again?

Uh-oh. No, I'm not a bill collector. Yeah, we are. We need $100 right now, please. Impressive that you answer your phone when you're getting those type of calls. Yeah, you should just hit ignore next time, bro. Wait, so who is this? Yeah, we're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

We're the love collectors. No. Please ignore my female co-host, Susan. Please don't send us any love as well. No, we're a radio show. Yeah, we're a radio show. I thought that was pretty good. Please don't send us any love as well. Radio show? Yeah, we're a radio show. We do a segment called Second Date Update where we try and help out our listeners reconnect after they've gone out

on a date with somebody that they really liked. Uh-oh. No, it's good. It's a good thing. It means somebody went out with you and had a really good time and wants to meet up again her name's kelly oh um it was it's been a while ago it was like three weeks ago that you guys met up yeah um kind of wish i was the bill collector but uh wow it was that bad? When we talked to her, she sounded lovely. Let me just be honest here. It was okay for a little bit, but it did get weird.

Okay, are you talking about where she offered to take new pictures of you because your profile pics weren't good enough? She told you all that? Yeah. She did. Were you offended? I mean, yes, but also, I don't think we should really be talking about that. What should we be talking about? If that's how she wants to play, then I'm happy to play my side of the story.

Yeah, let's hear your side. Oh, this sounds juicy. Yeah. What happened? I mean, did she mention us talking about camping? Yeah. Yeah? That came up?

That you guys mentioned going camping and she even took you to a camping goods store? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was thinking of going camping with some friends soon. Okay. And she was, like, basically inviting me, which, I mean, that's kind of weird, you know, after a first date to be like, oh, why don't you come camping for multiple days and meet my friends? Like that's really nice when you put it that way. No, I see what he means.

It's one thing to go camping, but then I'm going to be stuck with your friends or your family. But maybe. OK, wait, wait, though. Maybe it was like one of those invitations where you like, you know, I automatically invite people to everything, but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm actually going to follow through. I think you're going to say no. So that's the big red flag. She liked you and wanted you to meet her friends. I mean, no, no, no, no.

That's not the big red flag. Oh, it's not? I told her I'm not really the biggest fan of camping. I tried it once. I really didn't love it. I didn't love it so much that I actually slept in my car. Yeah. And

apparently for her, that was like the worst thing I could say to her. What? Why? I don't know. She was so shocked and she was like, how do you not like camping? Everyone loves camping. She was like, what? You've never spent a night in a tent?

You've never experienced the joy of taking the, I don't think I can say that word on the radio, but you've got to have the rumble with the bear. Like, what? Oh, my gosh. Those are her highlights. That's a little extreme. She just kept going on and on and on about how great camping was,

and I'm trying to force a smile. Then she dragged me to that uh that sporting goods store i don't know what's it called that all happened before you guys went to rei yes dude the way she played it the way she described it is that you said you were new and you were excited about trying it out no no no no, no, no, no. She was like going on about it at dinner and then at the store. It just was, it was nonstop. Okay.

She was trying to sell you on going camping by showing you all of the things that you could buy and all the things you could use the next time you went out into nature. She showed me 18 different types of canteens. I was like, I get it. Can we go home? Oh, wow. Is she part of the pyramid scheme for camping? Oh, man. showed me 18 different types of canteens i was like i get it can we go home oh wow

she should work for rei yeah i don't think i think she's getting a commission or she has a lot of stock there's something like her last name is actually rei actually we can ask her if that's true because i didn't tell you this earlier but but Kelly is on the other line right now listening to this whole thing. Hi. How you doing? Hi. I'm just going to stick with what I said on the date, is that everyone does love camping.

They just need to find the right things to take with them so they feel comfortable. That is objectively not true. Not everyone loves camping. What a crazy thing to say, you psycho. What? Oh, wow. Psycho.

We don't have to call anyone names, but if you're going to be a homebody. You're the one who's putting us on the radio. That's pretty crazy to begin with. Okay, everybody likes being on the radio. Sometimes you just have to try it and get used to it a little bit. That was actually psycho. If you're nervous, we can show you all kinds of microphones. I mean, Kelly, it doesn't sound like you're listening to him at all.

I heard what he said. I really, truly believe that deep down he really likes camping based on other stuff that he said. And if I remember, i think he did say that he didn't have a great time but he would be open to trying camping again oh really look at that lead neuron with that camp talk i was just saying that to try to get you to stop campsplaining to me that's what brooke does to us all the time maybe there could be a small nugget of truth to it do you think Mike are you on board with her because I hate camping I don't want to do it

I don't know how to make that any clearer I'm just saying sometimes things are an acquired taste like coffee or meth how can anybody not like camping you're in the outdoors there's fresh air why am I still on the phone right now? Like, I said this and you guys are still talking about it. I really don't understand. You're still on the phone because somewhere deep, deep down, you really do want to see Kelly again. No. And go out one more time.

No, Jeff, he doesn't. Even if, I'm not saying out in nature. Okay. Let's go out in the city somewhere. Somewhere that we would pay for. If you're up for it, Mike. In an REI? No, far away from REI.

That's what we do, Mike. We offer to send you guys out on another date on our dime. Yeah. It's clearly not a match. I mean, camping is clearly her number one thing. She doesn't have time for a man because she's so married to camping. She's married to the woods. Yeah, exactly.

She's going to marry a bear. Okay. We'll marry a bear okay at least meet up with her one more time so she could take some new photos of you for your profile pic oh no because she's gonna drag me to the woods to take those photos yeah act like you just picked these carrots well kelly i'm sorry we're not gonna get a second date for you here yeah it's fine i'm gonna try and see if there's an outdoorsy app or something I can find a man on. Okay. Oh, there's a good app.

It's about how to start a campfire. It's called Tinder. You should download that one. I get it. But I'll bomb. We were so close to ending on a laugh in the second date. Just missed. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

I just got a text at 7592 that says, Jeff, why is it every time it's extremely clear they're not a good match, you still ask if they'll go out again? And you always push the side that you know is wrong. I don't know why I do it. Is it because I believe in love against all odds? Does that make me a bad guy? If so, call Billie Eilish. Oh, because you're a bad guy.

I'm the bad guy. I'm the bad guy if so called Billie Eilish oh cuz you're a bad guy the bad guy it just shows everybody has a different way on how these dates go she saw it as green legs he's interested in camping he wants to learn he saw it as being camp shamed inch of his life and I saw it as being camp shamed within an inch of his life. And I saw it as I'm never going to be able to hear that Billie Eilish song again without thinking about you. But the one thing that we can learn out of this

is that we're always here for you. Oh, that's true. No matter what. Good dates, bad dates. No matter how many bad decisions you make. Absolutely. We're on your side. We will fight for you and offer you second dates. Call that person who isn't calling you back. Brooke. We're on your side. We will fight for you and offer you second dates. Call that person who isn't calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight

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