Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Not Out Of The Woods

Episode Date: November 4, 2022

The person on the phone for today’s Second Date was so FRUSTRATED with how the call went that he said something so mean about US that it might never be topped…See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. I think a question a lot of guys ask themselves while they're on a first date, besides what's her name again, is how do I get this girl out alone into the woods where it's just the two of us and nobody else? Oh my gosh, Jeffrey. No, not you guys? I mean, maybe men that should be in prison ask that question.

Oh, well, our listener Scott, who asked us for help today, did that. What, Scott? Wait, do we need to do a welfare check? He actually made it happen and apparently had a really nice time. Scott, welcome to the show. She went to the woods? That's scary. Guys, good morning, good morning, good morning.

Good morning. I apologize for the skepticism on the other half of the room right now. I am 100% on board with you, Scott. You set it up to sound so creepy, Jeffrey. I sounded romantic in my head. Ah, okay. Maybe Scott can paint a better picture than I did. Scott, tell us about the girl that you met.

What's her name? Please paint a better picture. Sure. So her name is Tara, and I met her on one of the dating apps okay you didn't say was so that's a good sign she's present tense okay yeah no no and i'm not sure if you guys are on them a lot of ladies are into hiking these days yeah there's where the woods come in at least they say they're into hiking i don't think any of them actually would go out and do it no yeah yeah so did you guys go hiking yeah and it's a little

bit of a backstory about me i was a boy scout so like i really am into outdoors and all that stuff more than the average person then i bet well two fingers salute to you sir yeah that sounds creepy but that's what they do that's what they do right it's two fingers i think it's three actually oh is it three now yeah however many fingers it takes it takes, Scott. Salute. Yeah, we're happy. So what did you do to get Tara out to the woods? So, you know, when you're on the dating apps, you're able to look at their social media. So I saw a pic of her hiking, and she was at this huge mountain, which I knew of. And so I was intrigued.

And so that was like the start of the conversation. And I kind of just kind of took off to there. And it was great. The first date was me inviting her for a hike that's sweet and that's how you know someone really is into hiking like when you can just look at the picture and go i know that hike or i know that trail yeah that's how you know you're really into it so the question is did you come prepared on the hike with snacks and or a beverage i actually just brought oranges. Oh. Oh, okay. Not even on crustables?

So lame. I mean, it is kind of nice to, like, get to your destination at the end to have kind of a spread. Yeah. Or just for cramping, right? A little vitamin C. Sure. I mean, what were the highlights for you and Tara? So I picked her up in the city, and we started our way.

Oh, you guys drove together. Yep. Well, that's a really good sign. It is a good sign. I just put that much trust into you on the first meeting. So how did it go? So it went, I thought, okay. It went a little different than I originally thought it would go. On the way there, I told her real quick that I have a cabin actually in the vicinity of the place i didn't want to be too aggressive about the cabin thing i just kind of mentioned hey i have a cabin north of where we're going to hike it's good that you mentioned that and that's always you know it's kind of an awkward thing to say by the way i have a cabin nearby because that's yeah that's creepy

normally it's a brag that you have a cabin but if it's like by your trail. I'd be excited about it. If a random man invited you to a cabin in the woods. I'm already in the car with him. I mean, I have some trust level with him. Interesting. So you didn't like it when I brought it up in the intro, but now that we're just talking about it casually. When you said it, it sounded creepy. When he said it, it sounded cozy.

Oh, if I said, oh, you want to compost your own waste out in the woods, then you would be all about it casually? When you said it, it sounded creepy. When he said it, it sounded cozy. Oh, if I said, oh, you want to compost your own waste out in the woods? Then you would be all about it. Well, our cabin does have a compost. I know it does. You won't shut up about it. Scott, I'm sorry. Tell us more about your cabin out in the woods. Yeah, what was her reaction?

She was interested. She was like, oh, it's interesting. Let's maybe head up there and take a look at it. Oh, okay. You're not going to stay long. You only brought oranges. Well, presumably he has food and stuff at the cabin, right? You don't keep food at a cabin. You don't? No. No, I did have some snacks up there, like some canned

goods, beans and tuna, a little bit of beer. Not much, but... This is a hot first date, Scott. Warm beer and tuna. So we get there, have a few drinks. We actually hung out on the porch, talked about, you know, her family a little bit and it was actually nice. It started

to get dark and I didn't want to stay there too late because, you know, obviously if it gets dark you don't want to be kind of, you know, hey, we should leave or now it could turn into another situation. What's the other situation? You want to be respectful, right? You don't want her to stay the night and start fooling around with you. What's the other situation? You want to be respectful, right? You don't want to be like, hey, well, look at the time.

You know what I mean? Like, you want to have her come back. Sorry, it sounded like a bad thing that you were talking about. Yeah, I know. I was like, bitch, you're trying to kiss me. And I was like, this date is over. Get that warm beer breath out of here. Okay.

So we're getting out of there. We have a good time. I really think she enjoyed the cabin. I was pretty i was gonna get a kiss because like that was the end that's where the flow was going yeah you spent all day together that's been great and on the drive back i'm like hey we should do this again but then i really couldn't tell if she wanted it again or she wanted to maybe even meet up again yeah but maybe it's for the best that you guys didn't have a kiss after tuna and beer i don't know how good of a kiss it would have been. Warm tuna and a hot beer.

As long as you both ate the same thing, you're good, Jeff. God, Brooke, you just get grosser. I never want to go to your cabin. Yeah, I know. Literally ever. It just sounds worse and worse. I was in the woods eating hot tuna out of a can. Yeah, this is the time of my life.

Anyway, so how long has it been since you last saw Tara? It's been six days. Six days. Six days. That's a little long. Did you try for a kiss at the end? No, I didn't try for it. Okay.

Again, I don't want to be aggressive, but. Okay. Okay. Be respectful. All right. Well, now we're going to be aggressive. When we play a song, come back and call Tara and we ask her why she didn't want to kiss you at the end of your romantic cabin in the woods. Why is she not calling him back?

We'll ask her a lot of questions and we'll figure those out when we do it right after this. All right, Scott? Yeah. All right. Hold on. Second date update. You know, I could have come in with this segment using some creepy, deep, dark, foresty music. But I'm not going to do that.

I'm playing Zippity-Doo-Dah. Because it's a happy day to be alone in the woods on a first date. Drinking warm beers and eating tuna straight out of the can. I think it could, it's actually, it could be really romantic. Yeah, and I think it was. Because that's what Scott really romantic Yeah Could be And I think it was Because that's what Scott did When he met up with Tara For their first date

One can of tuna Two spoons And we're hoping That sounds like a really bad video Maybe A lifetime of happiness together Sure Now Scott

Before we call Tara My producer said That you mentioned in your email Something that happened That you thought maybe she could have taken the wrong way. Oh, wait, we didn't talk about this before? Yeah, I guess we missed it. Did something happen? Yeah, I didn't think anything of it, but I had a deer head in the cabin. Okay.

It's one of those funny things. Like, I don't even hunt. It's this kind of thing I just bought to kind of add to theiance okay what's wrong with that maybe i don't know maybe she was taken back by that it's why i haven't heard i don't know that's my only thought though well she thinks you like i think a girl that's gonna eat tuna out of a can isn't gonna care yeah as long as it's not like freshly severed and it's like fully taxidermied already. Like it was fully prepared, right? The heads on the wall with the bodies in the garage.

Just wait to skin it is what I'm waiting for. Right, Scott? I mean, yeah, I bought it off Amazon. Oh, you didn't kill it yourself. Maybe that's why she's unimpressed. Prime delivery was under an hour. I don't think that has anything to do with it. Well, let's find out.

We're going to call Tara right now. We'll see what she has to say here we go scott you ready yeah i'm ready all right let's do this hello hey is this tara uh yeah who's, Tara. You're on the radio right now with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hey, Tara. Hey. Wait. What are we doing right now? Sorry. We're doing something called a second date update. I forgot to get the sound effect.

Jose, do the sound effect. Do we have a sound effect? Yeah. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. No. Like a radio sound effect. Like... Oh, my God. Yeah, we're kind of a low budget radio station if you couldn't tell tara those lasers okay i can't believe you laughed at that all right just it's kind of fun yeah we're a wacky morning show and something we do on the show is called

a second date update and we're hoping to reconnect you with one of our listeners that you went out with recently named scott oh god oh that's not a good one hi i actually didn't think people like scott existed but he definitely proved me wrong and uh heroic chivalrous men because yes they do still exist I don't think that's what she meant What do you mean by that I'll give it He's chivalrous and he asked me to see his cabin It was like super cozy and cute It's a one bedroom

We didn't hear that he asked you He said that you're the one that brought it up It was your idea to go see the cabin Yeah I guess that's right I was the one who asked to see it. And if it was like near where we were hiking, it was something I just wanted to see. Yeah. That sounds fun.

That sounds cool. He mentioned that to us and that he even offered you some cans of tuna and warm beer. Yeah, we were just hanging out, having fun and like the beers and tuna. I mean, it was just really rugged and cool. Oh, you did think it was cool. Okay. It sounds like good things that you're saying. Where did it go wrong?

Yeah, we were worried about that. Uh, so Sky has a fallout shelter. A what? Say that last thing. Oh, my God. Like a built-in bunker in this cabin. Oh, like a bomb shelter. No, he's one of those like end-of-days preppers. Oh, doomsday pre cabin. Oh, like a bomb shelter. No, he's one of those, like, end-of-days preppers.

Oh, doomsday preppers. Yeah, he's a doomsday prepper. Oh, no. Why would you think that just because he has a shelter? He showed me what it was. I mean, I didn't think he was scary. I thought he was, like, a really, like, good guy. And then he lifts this hatch, and we walk down the staircase.

And like, I followed him down, like thinking, okay, this is a little weird, but it's inside of his cabin with the secret. Yeah. Oh, that's smart. I followed a stranger down. Yeah. Anytime there's a hatch opening, I wouldn't follow anyone down. What was down there?

Was it just a lot of tuna? Tuna paradise downstairs. Welcome to TunaVille. It was packed wall to wall with canned goods and water. I mean, this is like legit. It was really packed in there.

Okay, so look, I don't want to be... I don't know anything about doomsday preppers, but isn't that a good thing if someone's just prepared? No. It just depends. Like, why does he think the world is going to end? Because I'm going to tell you, there's all sorts of conspiracy theories that float around these type of people. That's what you're worried about.

Yeah, Brooks forwarded me the Facebook links to that. I am from the land of, like, mountain crazy preppers. I really am. Okay, that's why you know more about this guy. What was he telling you, Tara? I mean, he's definitely read too many conspiracy theories. He's telling me he's going to be ready for a zombie apocalypse.

Oh, he thinks the zombies are coming. What? Well, not yet. Oh, Jeff, don't tell me you're one too. I don't know. I haven't read the articles. I just read the headlines and then make assumptions i had a friend's dad who was certain that the aliens

were going to come destroy our crops and then mate with the rest of us i don't know why he wanted to live through that so tara you're not interested in surviving the zombie apocalypse no after he said that he just officially lost me there and there's no way he was joking about zombies like brooke he had a whole yeah i mean but maybe he was like really nuclear war but he doesn't want to bring it up because that's depressing that's a good point and you know what we should actually ask him that right now because i didn't mention this to you tara but scott's been on the other line listening this entire time, and he wants to talk to you. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Scott? By the way, Tara, real quick, why did you give away my location? This is a shelter that's supposed to be on the low. No one knows about it. Well, we don't know where your cabin is. All you said it was north. That's all we know. And why are you taking

a stranger to the bunker? How can you trust her? I'm not going to be answering any of your questions, okay? I'm talking right now, and I have, you know, you got me kind of reclaimed. And the first thing is I am not a crazy doomsday or prepper. Like, look, the end is near. We all know that. I think we can all agree to that.

I don't think we do. I don't think we agree to that. I get it. I totally get it, Sky. It's so good that you're prepared and you want to help other people prepare. But I mean, just like our discussion about repopulating the Earth. Wait, what? After this, the population, it's just like on the first day, it's just a little too much.

Wait, you guys discussed this? I only brought it up because it is a reality. I think it's kind of romantic. What? Are you joking? Out of all the women in this world that I would repopulate the world with, he chose Tara. That's usually an insult line. If you were the last person in the world.

Dude, Tara has been incredibly open and understanding up until the repopulation point. I mean. Tara, can you not see the romance in it? There's nothing romantic about being told. Like, your biological purpose at this point in life is to repopulate after zombies have killed you. After the undead undid

you. There is going to be an apocalyptic event happening. I see stories all the time. is going to be an apocalyptic event happening. I see stories all the time. I want to be prepared. What's logical about zombies? Yeah, the zombies is where you're losing, I think, a lot of people. It's not going to be like in the movies type stuff, but it's going to be people walking around in their gore and just eating other people.

What? They don't look like movie zombies, but they're still eating people. They have better clothes. I'm actually kind of looking forward to that. It sounds better than what we're dealing with right now. Okay, if you guys don't want to be prepared for this, I totally understand. I'll be in my shelter listening to my podcast and reading my magazine. Oh, you've got Wi-Fi in there?

Oh, damn, bro. I thought for sure you'd be on a ham radio. I really want to go now. That's some high-tech stuff. You guys keep laughing while your radio station burns to the ground and people eat you. I'll be hanging out. Oh. Wow.

That is not how I play that game. Oh, my gosh. I haven't heard your first time we've been told that. I'll tell you, they're not coming for our brains. Out of all of us in this room, who would be the most eatable? Oh, God. I think it's a tie between Jose and me. I'm plump. I just checked. I'm like almost 30% body fat. Out of all of us in this room, who would be the most eatable? Oh, God. I think it's a tie between Jose and me.

I'm plump. I just checked. I'm like almost 30% body fat. Yeah. Jose gets winded after taking like 20 steps. He's definitely the first to go. And I'm taking those steps to go get more food. But you know what?

I'm sorry. I want the two of you. It's too much. I want the two of you to. You know, I really never should have reached out to you morons. Obviously, you're having a laugh on me, but I'm the one prepared. We'll see how this actually turns out. All right, Scott. We get it. Make sure you go listen to our podcast where you can find Scott's

bunker coordinates. No. That's private information. Private information, which we will give out for free on our podcast. Thank you, Scott. I'm not going to lie. I had a really good time our podcast. Thank you, Scott. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I'm not going to lie. I had a really good time recording that.

Did you? Yeah. That was kind of fun. Even though Scott was obviously really animated and not happy with us. I will say Brooke did approach our producer after it was over and ask for his email, wondering if there was an extra space in that bunker. Oh, you are all in, Brooke. I'm going to tell you, this is why I don't want to survive.

If the repopulation is happening with people like you. Brooke, you don't have to be shy. I'm good. I know what you really want. You want tuna for life. Yeah. I get to see him and Brooke in the shelter. He's like, hey, you go finish that can of tuna. I'm going to go up. I think I heard a zombie.

I honestly, I can't wait until zombies raid this station. And they make us one of them and then we all march up to his cabin together and eat his brain as a show. Dude, joke's on him. I forgot we're gonna turn into zombies. Would we still do zombie radio?

Would we be like the number one zombie radio? Oh yeah. Can you talk? Ah can you talk ah prank phone call hashtag team goals that's what we are i'm looking forward to that day in that broadcast but until then you can always email the show we'll call the person who isn't calling you back we're so done with new year new you this year it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's

because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears too. Be more you this year special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning, well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you

feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.