Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Pan-Bandoned

Episode Date: June 3, 2022

The couple in today’s Second Date went on a date to the Fair and they left with a big mystery afoot… We’ll help them sort it out and solve their problem in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline Podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada,

to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. with guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. Dipping out on a first date without saying goodbye. Some of us have done it. Some of us have had it happen to us. Jose even went to the extreme of hiring producer Boyd as a waiter once to come up to his table

with an envelope and say, Excuse me, sir, are you Mr. Jose Bolaños? Your STD results just came in from the kitchen, and it's not good. It looks like the kitchen's not the only thing burning. Yes, sir. Okay, I don't want to eat from that kitchen. The point is there's creative ways to get yourself out of dates. And one of our listeners had it happen to her recently.

She just wants to know the reason why. Her name is Tara. Tara, did your guy use the STD trick too? No, I don't know about that. You wish, right? You wish, though. Tara, I'm really glad that you're laughing right now. I mean, it's a good sign that you're not taking this all too personally i'm laughing it off okay that's a good attitude tell us about the guy that you went

out with what's his name what's his deal his white cell blood count we want to know everything okay so yeah right i met this guy his name was mac he was really cute he was nice we met like at the police station we were both donating some canned food. Oh, my God. Aw. I'm glad you finished that sentence. Yeah. I'm like, wow.

Yeah, no, no, we were donating canned food. And, I don't know, we had a lot in common. And somehow we got on this conversation about, like, what's the best corn on earth? Corn? Corn. Yeah. Is there different types of corn? It's definitely an unusual question to have just come up naturally.

I heard another word, and I was like, oh, there's all types of that. A different letter in the front there. I guess you were donating probably canned corn or something. Why did I not put that together? You like sweet corn. You like that tricolor stuff. No, it makes sense. Well, my favorite is the roasted corn, actually.

Oh. Roasted? Yeah. So he says to me, hey, maybe we should go to the fairgrounds, because I don't think he believed me, or he said he didn't believe me about the roasted corn, or whatever. Oh. Like, you're talking like a corn on the cob at the fair, and you just slather it in butter. Like the elote.

Oh, the elote? Oh, my God. I mean, that may be the first time ever that a flirty corn conversation led to an actual date. But good for you, Tara. Sounded kind of corny. See, that's why it doesn't work. Yeah, you're right. All right.

So you ended up going to the fair with him? Yeah. So I met him there at the fair. What a fun date. We haven't even heard about it yet. I know. I'm only taking one girl to the fair ever, and it's fun trying to win the prizes. What is the next thing that she says?

The Ferris wheel collapsed and hurt a bunch of people. You were still at the fair, okay? But, I mean, at least it's a good location to be crushed. I mean, how was it? Was it a fun date for you, Tara? Yeah, yeah, it was great. I mean, it was nice. You know, we met there, and we tried the corn.

He agreed. It was fun. We had a good time. That's a cute date. It's not a super hot food to eat, though, in front of someone. Well, it could be, I guess. Depends how you do it. Yeah, you should have seen me.

I was, like, trying to make it all sexy. Just got, like, butter all over. But anyways, we kept walking around. We had some drinks. We went on rides. We played the duck shooter game. I don't know if you guys know that. Yes.

So where did it go wrong? I don't know. Like, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Oh game i don't know if you guys know that but yeah so where did it go wrong i don't know like that's what i'm trying to figure out oh you don't know like when we played the duck shooter game he didn't win but i did and i won this huge panda oh i'm okay the man in me is already like feeling seriously about a little fair game no we want to win you prize are you serious your ego is that fragile oh my god it's just as a guy you want to be able to show up for your date and do something special and when you fail in front of a girl it's really embarrassing it's a fair game did his attitude change after you won the panda and he didn't yeah you know like i don't know i thought we were having fun goofing around

and then he got a little edgy over it. And it didn't seem like he was holding a grudge or anything. I mean, it was only a panda, but. He wasn't holding a grudge. He was holding a panda. Just feels like a red flag, but okay. So you were able to move on after the duck hunter? Yeah, so he seemed to let it go and he was fine.

I gave him the panda because I had used the bathroom. He was okay holding it. I come out and he's gone. He like him the panda because I had used the bathroom and he was okay holding it. I come out and he's gone. He like took off. Whoa. Wait, the panda? Yeah, where's the panda? No, the panda was there.

He left the panda but he was gone. Oh no. That's like an emergency escape route. I've never had to do that. That's really weird. It can't be over a fair game. I mean...

Yeah, it's not that intense. Let's be honest. I would just sulk the rest of the night and ruin the date. I wouldn't leave, though. Well, what did you do, Tara? Well, I texted him because I figured, oh, maybe, you know, he went off to use the bathroom himself to get something to eat. You know, whatever. But he didn't get back to me.

So I was like, OK, that's weird. So how long did you wait before you realized he had left? I waited probably maybe another 45 minutes. Oh, you poor thing. She's still at the fair. No, she's sad panda. So anyway, I laughed and I was kind of mad, obviously. Yeah, I'd be more than kind of.

Yeah, that's rude. So I kind of was, I didn't text him right away. I waited probably about a week. And then like one night, I don't know, I didn't text him right away. I waited probably about a week. And then like one night, I don't know, I had a few, too many lines. You know, I was a little mad. So I kind of sent him a drunk text. I didn't mean to. I was like, I don't know.

Dude, he deserves it. Why are you holding back? Like, why do you even want to call this guy? Maybe something horrible happened to him. And he left the panda? What, he was abducted at the fair? I mean, what could possibly? It's happened to me before.

And then he never texts back. Yeah. He did, though, after this text. He didn't initially when I was at the fair, but he did. He sent me a sorry with a sad face. That's it? That's all? That was it.

He does feel guilty for something. No, he doesn't. A sorry with one little sad face? Yeah. He needs at least six. I'm just saying. That's how you know they feel really bad. But it sounds like you don't really want to

get another date with him you're more interested in finding out the reason why he ditched yeah that's kind of it i need like closure i feel like i mean it i don't know i just don't understand where went wrong all right well let's try and find out where you did go wrong we're going to play a song come back and we'll call mac for you and try and get your second date update okay okay great thank you a song, come back, and we'll call Mac for you and try and get your second date update, okay? Okay, great. Thank you. Second date update. I just can't get that image out of my head. A lonely stuffed panda bear

left all by himself, abandoned in the middle of the fairgrounds with nobody there to hug him. It's an image that's going to haunt my dreams for months. And I guess our listener Tara got abandoned there too when her date Mac

disappeared randomly. I know, Tara sounds like a strong, independent woman. That poor, helpless panda was just left sitting in the rain, crying out for someone. There was no rain, Jeffrey. The snow and the sleep. The tornado nearly took him away and he was just crying out for There was no rain, Jeffrey. There was a fair.

Oh, no. And he was just crying out for anybody to love him. And I want to get some answers and some justice today for Tara, but mostly for that sad, helpless panda who got panbanded at the fairgrounds that day. Tara, how long has it been since the panda's traumatic day at the fair? I think it's been like four days. Oh, okay. Only four.

I was picturing like two weeks in my mind. She needs to answer now. We're not going to wait two weeks. She got an answer. Sorry, guys. That is not an answer. We're looking for a little bit more of an explanation. So let's call Mac right now. We are demanding an answer. One little sad face. Well, we're looking for a little bit more of an explanation. So let's call Mac right now.

We are demanding an explanation. Yes, Panda needs to know. That's right, Jeffrey. So here we go. I'm going to dial his number right now. Let's do this. Hello? Is this Mac?

Yeah, this is Mac. ass is calling mac the panda abandoner mac i shouldn't laugh excuse me uh what was that look mac i'm calling from the radio show brook and jeffrey in the morning and we're trying to get some answers here for one of our listeners that you went on a date with recently oh um like wait you're a radio station calling about like uh like the second date thing yeah yeah that's it that's it you've heard about it yeah yeah i have all right so i don't even think that you should be eligible for a second date, but here we are. I apologize for my co-host, Brooke. She's a little bit bitter because we heard the story of what happened with you and Tara at the fairgrounds. Yeah. But we only heard one side of it.

We're calling right now to get your end of the story. Yeah, you ditched her, man. Why did you ditch her? I actually, I feel very, I'm so embarrassed. Like, I have to tell you uh i really like tara uh a lot and everything was going really good on the date i gotta tell you is that your go to move then yeah and i i really have meant to call her, but I've been dealing with, like, literally a lot of stuff since I was on that date. Stuff?

A text takes, like, two seconds. Yeah, I was just going to say that. I mean, did you get an emergency call or something? Is that why you had to leave while she was in the bathroom? I'll explain. It was just the weirdest thing. While she was in the bathroom, a kid came up to me, like 16, 17. Okay.

And asked me if I would buy him some beer. Why would you buy a teenager beer? Because he's cool. I don't know. They were just like, you know, they looked just underage.

So I just thought I'd help him out. And I said, sure. And I went to the beer area. Oh my God. So many more red flags popping up, you guys. Yeah. I know it sounds weird, but I said, sure. And I went to the beer area. Oh, my God. So many more red flags popping up, you guys. I know it sounds weird, but, I mean, I was a kid, too. And I don't know.

This was like, let me just buy this kid some beer. And immediately I got the beer and cops came out. Oh, my God. Sting operation. You were buying teenagers beer, but they were like narcs, man. Is that what you're saying? Yes, exactly. And I was shook. I never expected that to happen. happen i was like this is going to be a five second thing

and i was instantly cited for providing minors with beer took me out of the park to get my info and it gets worse uh i hadn't paid my registry. They looked up my plates on my car, and I hadn't paid my registration for like three years. Oh, my gosh. So you're just driving around for three years on expired tabs, too? Sometimes you just kind of put it aside, and you're like, it's been a year, and no one's done anything, so why bother? And they impounded my car, and they took me to jail. Oh, dang. father and i they impounded my car and they took me to jail oh dang you know the more that you

explain the more you seem like a guy who's worthy of a second date oh my god so you ditched her because you got arrested well when you put it that way i don't know if you can say he ditched her he got dragged away from her yeah i didn't spend too long in the jail, but it was just I had to deal with getting my car back right now. Yeah, I mean, his biggest mistake was not putting a Post-it note on the panda explaining what happened to him. Sorry, went to buy some teenage boys alcohol. It's a big panda. It's gigantic.

So I just left it there for a second to buy the kid beer. So I don't even know what happened to the panda. Well, it was left there, and Tara had to find i don't even know what happened to the panda well it was it was left there and tara had to find it and had no clue what happened to you that's why she's been freaking out wondering what's going on it does make sense why he only said sorry yeah i just felt embarrassed i just don't know how to explain i thought she wouldn't believe me i thought that there's no way anybody would believe me i really do we do believe it. I really do. I mean, yeah, I believe it, but let's find out if Tara believes you

because she's actually on the other line listening right now and wants to talk to you. Ah, another sting! Gotcha! What are you talking about? That's how these second dates work. Tara? Oh, my God.

Are you speechless, Tara? Are you there? I don't believe it. I can't believe it. You don't believe him? Like, actually? No, I believe him. I just like the story is nuts.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's just crazy. I would have never guessed in a million years that's why he wasn't there. He was trying to party with some teens, man. Oh, my gosh. But I got to ask you a question. Like what kind of cops were these that you were dealing with?

Were they cop cops or were they like fair cops? You mean like security guards at the fair? Yeah, like, you know, the ones that... I don't know. They had like badges and handcuffs and things. There's cops at the fair. I've seen police officers at the fair. Why does that matter?

Yeah, what difference does it make to you, Tara? Well, because if they're fair cops, it's like he should have taken off. I mean, he shouldn't have stayed there. I did not expect that. I don't think about it that way. You wanted him to run? I don't know.

It's just the first thing I thought of. You know, it's like sometimes fair cops are just always hanging around and they're just checking on people. I don't understand why you wouldn't run. It just seems like a bonehead move to me. I don't know. You wanted me to run away from the cops?

Yeah, but it was probably fair cops. That's the same thing you know what i mean what he eventually got taken down to a police station i mean even if they transferred him to other cops like it's not i just can't believe your red flag is that yeah i'm just you know i'm going to tell you something i i'm not going to go into detail about it because it happened in the past, but I did have kind of an issue like this with the milk jug game. With the what game? Milk jug game. The milk jug game.

The milk jugs. You mean the game where you, like, toss the softball into, like, the giant milk can? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To knock them over? To knock them over. Yeah, you know, I just took off. I kind of hid behind the big stuffed animals. So, like, I bolted, and they didn't find me.

It was fine. It was blown over. Wow. I don't know. It doesn't sound, that doesn't sound like the same thing. I know you're being pretty vague about your story, but I was literally caught with alcohol being given to a minor. I am just shocked at where we're at right now.

It is not what i expected you're not disappointed that he bought some beer for some minors at the fair you're just more disappointed that he chose to get himself arrested rather than try and run so i am kind of disappointed in the whole thing i don't know like it was dumb for him to buy the beer and it's also dumb for him to not get out of there quicker yeah well i have a really i have a really important question that i think the whole room is thinking about right now yes i will purchase alcohol for you jeffrey not that i'm talking about the giant panda if they were fair cops why wouldn't they let mac take it with him when he got arrested

i don't know what's happening right now. This is kind of like a weird conversation. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, Tara. If you want to go out again, I mean, I promise I won't be selling anything to anybody. That's a good promise. Okay. Tara? No, thank you. All he had to do was text me, and we could have voided all of this, so I don't know.

Okay. Wow. God, this was harder than winning one of those fair games. Okay, well, have fun, and maybe next time you're at the jail, you should probably go out with, like, an actual criminal. That is the silver lining from this. Somewhere out there, Tara, there is your bad boy who's willing to run away from the fair cops.

Oh, yeah. You will find him one day. Thank you. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I feel like people's priorities in dating and finding a life partner right now are way off. Like, just the inconsequential details

that we've been hearing lately from people, the weird things that they focus on for why they won't go out with each other. Yeah, she did focus on the wrong thing. She focused on it like she didn't try running from the cops. I would think typically a normal red flag would be getting arrested. Yeah, for trying to buy alcohol for minors.

Or even like, I haven't registered my car in years and I got arrested for that too. I mean, there's so many. Also him getting angry that she won the game and he didn't win the game. No. That has every cause, right? That is a red flag. You should let us win you prizes, lady.

Then be better. That's what I'm saying. All these weird random details that I don't think really matter in finding a true life partner. That's what everybody's focusing on and it's deterring others from actually getting together. So, yeah. Weren't able to get a second date there. You expected them to go out again? Well, I'm just saying if they didn't focus so much on the nitty gritty.

There was a lot of other things. Okay, Jeff. I mean, out of all the second dates, I didn't think this one was going to be successful from the beginning of he left me alone outside of a public restroom for 45 minutes. And we found out because he broke the law several times. Yeah. I'm just so frustrated with the dating game right now. Oh, he loves love.

We desperately need a real love story on this show, so we need people to email us. If someone isn't calling you back and you don't have a long criminal record, hopefully, then we can call the person. I mean... We don't discriminate. It's asking for a lot from our listeners, I know, but we'll call the person who isn't calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the person. We don't discriminate. It's asking for a lot from our listeners, I know.

But we'll call the person who isn't calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what?

We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances

so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline Podcast.

And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever else you get your podcasts from.