Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Pay For The Sex

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

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but Get Hired is here for you every step of the way with advice on resumes, networking, negotiation, and so much more. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you like to listen. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction.

You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. It goes without saying, on this show, we're rule breakers. Yeah, we are. Jeffrey's being a bad boy right now. Okay.

You know it, Brooke, because the rules say we're supposed to help out our listeners after they go out on a weird first date. Okay, yeah. But you know what? We'll take somebody who's gone on 17 dates as long as something really embarrassing happened during it, because we're rebels. Oh, yeah, we are. Are you in a full relationship but totally humiliated?

We got you. We'll do it anyway. We've got somebody that likes to break the rules with us. And he needs our help today. His name is Matt. What's up, Matt? Hey, how you doing? Oh, Matt, you're a real rebel like Jeffrey over here, aren't you, Matt?

He didn't tell us what's up because he's a rebel. That's right. He asked you a question and you didn't answer, right? That's right, bro. I'm going to cough for a second. What? What's going on? Bring back regular Jeffrey, please.

It's too much for me to handle. All the masculinity, you know? Yeah, it boils over sometimes. Matt, tell us about the woman that you want us to call today. What's her name? Her name is Kelly. Okay. So it sounds like you went out with Kelly more than once.

Is that true? Yeah, we had like a couple dates. Okay. That's a good thing. Yeah, where'd you meet her? I met her online, and we decided to go out for coffee. Online, the Rebels Playground. No, Jeff.

Where bad boys live. They came out of nowhere. They were born. Yeah. The Rebels Playground. Okay, no, Jeff. Where bad boys live. That came out of nowhere. I think you're bored. Yeah. The Rebels Playground. Sorry, it's just coming out today, Matt. I apologize. Yeah, okay.

So you met her on the Rebels Playground and you took her out to coffee. Yeah. How'd that go? So we had a really great first date. We just had instant chemistry. And by the end of the first date we were just sharing things that you would not normally share with somebody on a first date and we're holding hands and when you can feel it you're comfortable you're like let's skip all the

little things yeah let's lock pinkies i mean apparently you went on a second date did that chemistry continue? Yeah, well, the second day we decided to go to a concert. And she asked if it was okay to spend the night. Oh. Okay. She asked that before you guys went out or while you guys were out? Just before we went out, she asked me if it would be okay.

And I, of course, said yes. I thought you were like, no, daddy sleeps alone. You're using banana, banana. okay and i of course said yes oh you were like no daddy sleeps alone well that's a really good sign for how she thinks the date's about to go too yeah for sure and that she said it when she was sober so what happened so we went to the show we had a good time and um before we went back to my place she asked me if we could go for a bite to eat so we ended up doing that and ordered drinks and and all that it was good we had the same kind of chemistry going as before and you know it's really natural and it's so exciting when you can continue that momentum right because you never know is the first day to fluke or sounds too good to be true do we really have something yeah so how did the fun parlay itself towards the end of the night? Are you laughing because I used the word parlay in a sentence?

Yes. Only bad boys use parlay. You tell them, Jeff. That's a pirate's word. That's a self-contabulary. Pirate's word. Parlay. Okay, all right.

No, all right. What happened? What went wrong? You're too bad for your own good. Yeah, you guys are really funny. Yeah. I'm sorry. We think we are.

Sorry. So keep going, Matt. So the weirdest part of the night came, you know, at the end of the night with the tip. Okay. And I normally pay for my dates, but I think she had a problem with it because I had already paid for the concert. Right. So I wanted to pay for the tip at least because she insisted on paying for the dinner and I let her do that. All right.

Why would she do that? Alexis is like, uh, he has money. So why is that weird? Well, I was thinking too much about her coming over and I kind of blurted out without thinking, at least let me pay for the sex. What? Oh, no. You said, oh, instead of tip?

No, you didn't. Oh, that sounds bad. Yeah. But, I mean, it's an obvious mistake. Is it? I don't know. I mean, maybe in Brooke's dating life. I do it for free.

I don't charge for that. No. Did she laugh? What did she say? She did laugh. And I was mortified, of course. And I apologized. Oh, yeah.

I'm embarrassed for you on that. But she asked to take a cab home after that. Oh. Well, I'm glad you apologized. But that definitely ruined the mood. I mean, do you think that she thinks you do pay for that all the time or something I don't know if it was an honest

mistake and she's not she left this seems like a lot maybe she just had a change of heart after that like you know maybe it just put too much pressure on things yeah like you were expecting it at the end of the night or something cause staying over at somebody's house doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna do it much pressure on things. Yeah. Yeah, like you were expecting it at the end of the night or something. Yeah.

Because staying over at somebody's house doesn't necessarily mean you're going to do it. Yeah, it doesn't. No, not at all. Right. But when you say the word, then you put it in everyone's head. Yeah. I mean, were you expecting something after the date? That's a good question. You know, I was hopeful, but I didn't say expecting.

Yeah. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Yeah. I hope for it every day, too. Well, let's find out for sure. Okay. We're going to play a song. We'll come back.

We'll call Kelly and have sex right after this. Oh, Jeffrey. What did I say? You did it, too. I did it? Yeah. Oh, okay. Second date update right after this.

Second date update. If you're just tuning in for the second date update, one of our listeners, Matt, is on the phone. And Matt is an old-fashioned type of guy. You know? How so? He loves a good cup of joe. Okay. He likes to be a gentleman and pay for a lady's evening out.

Yeah, that's true. And at the end of the night, he'll even offer to give you his visa or MasterCard for sexual intercourse. Oh, man. And they say chivalry is dead. Good for you, Matt. Because most guys won't do that anymore nowadays. They'll only offer you their Discover card, which isn't accepted at most places. So, Matt,

true gentleman there. We commend you. Spoken like a real man. You're going to start a reputation soon, Matt. You still have the show too long. I say that kind of jokingly because the true story is Matt went on a second date with a woman named Kelly. And after dinner, she wanted to pay for the meal. But Matt offered to at least pay for the tip.

However, instead of saying, let me pay for the tip, he accidentally said, let me pay for the sex. Yeah. Because he, like most men, had a certain activity on the brain at the end of the night. And to be fair, she did start the evening by saying, can I stay at your place? Right. Yeah. So it was not totally at fault. So we're about to call Kelly and try and get you a second date update.

Now, before we do this, Matt, how are you feeling going into this? I'm feeling pretty nervous. Yeah. That's not good because you say dumb things when you're nervous, Matt. Yeah, touche. Okay, take a deep breath. I think it's just a misunderstanding and you can work through this. I mean, you said you had a real connection with her.

Yeah, and you know, you'd think if it was just a misunderstanding that I wouldn't have to talk to you guys and, you know, everything would be fine. We'd still be talking, but maybe it is something else I don't know okay well let's find out I'm going to call Kelly's number right now we're going to try and get your second date update okay sounds good all right here we go hello hi i'm looking for kelly speaking who is this hi kelly my name is jeffrey from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in the morning how are you doing i'm a radio show okay yeah we're a morning show all my co-hosts are here and we're doing a segment called a second date update have you ever heard of that before it does kind of sound familiar i think one of my friends may listen to this show maybe okay she talks about all of the nightmare scenarios and i mean she tells me about them and yeah yeah why are you guys calling me

again yeah well because you recently went out with a guy who kind of described a nightmare scenario to us. Not just one date. He said you went on two dates. His name's Matt. Oh, Matt. Yeah. Matt thought that you guys, I mean, definitely the first date,

just great chemistry. I mean, yeah, he was really nice on the first date. Yeah. But I don't know what else you're looking for. Well, Matt told us that after that second date, you haven't been calling him back. And he did mention that the dinner ended with a little bit of a snafu when paying the check. Hmm. And he said specifically a snafu.

Well, we said that. I mean, he's really embarrassed yeah he felt really awful about how it played out because he says he meant to say at least let me pay for the tip and instead it came out as at least let me pay for the sex yeah yeah he feels bad about that like that was a total mistake on his part he just had a lot of stuff on his mind it was a slip up it was a yeah a total slip upup. He feels terrible. But if he didn't say it on purpose, then why did a condom fall out

as he was saying it? Oh! Hold on. A condom fell out of where? What was happening? His wallet. It's not a good look with that. Did he tell you that? No, but some guys just hold one just in case, to always have one in their wallet. His wallet. It's not a good look with that, though. Did he tell you that? No, but some guys just hold one just in case, like, to always have one in their wallet.

Yeah, I mean, I think that's true, and it's good to be safe. Like, maybe it fell out, and that's why he said that word instead of tip. Here's the thing. I'm not that kind of person, okay? When the condom slipped out and he said what he said, it's just like, well, who do you think I am? Yeah. Yeah, that looks really bad i would feel that way too i mean if it played out the way that you said that it played out that

sounds really awful it's almost like he right took out two fingers and made a circle with his other hand i mean it's similar similar but that's not the impression that he gave us this is what happened because my account and and why I'm turned off by him. Because the only reason why I asked him to stay after the concert was because, one, it's really far from where I live. So it's a good drive across town. Two, I had to work the next day. So it was not to have sex. It was not to do any of that.

Yeah, that's horrible timing. I mean, it makes sense on your part, too. I mean, is there any word that you Yeah, that's horrible timing. I mean, it makes sense on your part, too. Yeah. I mean, is there any word that you could ever believe that it was a mistake? I mean, at this point, I don't really care if it was a mistake. It just was like a two for one combo in my mind. Okay. Well, I know maybe it doesn't mean a whole lot coming from us, but maybe it would be more meaningful coming directly from Matt.

Because I need to tell you, Kelly, he's been on the other line listening and he wants to talk to you. Oh, I should have freaking known this. Oh, Matt, you there? Matt is on the phone. Yeah, I'm here. Say more than that, Matt. She thinks that you were trying to offer to pay for her. No, it was an accident.

It was a stupid mistake. I was hoping she didn't see the condom. I didn't know that was a thing, that that happened. So a condom really did come out of your wallet as you said that? I mean, no, I just keep one in my wallet, you know, especially if I'm on a date, you know. At least I'm responsible, and you know

I wasn't just trying to rod it. Okay, we don't need to throw that word in there, Matt. Why do men get distracted so easily? Why do you keep talking? Yeah, but Kelly... He wanted me to see that condom full out of his wallet. He wanted me to see that. Why would I want that?

Why would I... Why? So wait, he says it's an accident, and you're saying it was like a test? Like planned. Yeah. You think that's how I land chicks, is like I show them the condom in my wallet?

It's possible. That could be a trick that actually works because it shows that you're thoughtful and you're safe. Maybe if you're 15, that would work. Matt, how old are you? Are you 15? Stop! Kelly, I can't believe you really don't believe me right now. I mean, what else do I need to tell you?

Okay, Matt, if it was not something serious, then why did you lick your lips as you were saying what? No, you didn't. Way to say. Come on, Kelly. Also, he was naked. Yeah, he took his shirt off. There was also bathing oils inside of his bag.

That's bad. But still, as a comedian, was he committing to the joke? It wasn't a joke. It was a mistake. There's a difference. I mean, here's the thing. Kelly, you are super jaded because the dating world sucks right now, right? And like, I totally understand where you would think that someone would do that because it's

not out of the realm of possibility these days. But I believe him. I think that he didn't mean to say that. Like, if you saw a condom slip out of your wallet, you'd probably blurt out sex, too. What? No. No, let out. What's with sex?

Condom sex? Oh, my God, sex. Matt, do you remember licking your lips while you said it? No, I was probably dehydrated. Oh, sure you were. I mean, come on, Matt. You don't think she's a prostitute. You're thirsty.

Why would I go out with a prostitute? It's a lot simpler if I just wanted a prostitute. That's true. Okay, so there we go. Kelly, he doesn't think you're a prostitute. And with that being said... That's not a good way to end this. Is that not a good...

Kelly, I actually think that he made an honest mistake and he really liked you. Tell her, Matt. Tell he really liked you tell her matt tell her how much you liked her i thought we had really great dates and i you know i would hope that a simple mistake would have been erased very quickly after having that kind of connection on our date exactly i mean every interaction that we've had with matt over the last few minutes has shown me that he seems like a pretty genuine good guy and so Kelly we would really like to send you two out on one more date oh is it weird if we offer to pay for the date but we're gonna do it anyway Jeffrey it's not

illegal no I mean we'll pay for the date at least let me give you guys a tip yeah just shut up Kelly will you mount him one more time sorry will you go out with him it's all coming out wrong i don't really think him calling you guys helped his case at all so i'm gonna just say no and i really don't care to be on the radio either oh my god oh matt i'm sorry man no second date what can i? I tried. That's really bizarre to me. Well, looks like you're going to have to offer to pay for it somewhere else, man. I'm sorry. I'll just take my business elsewhere, I guess. Yeah. The Daily Show, and In Your Ears with The Daily Show, Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment

to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or bring you all the information you need to, well, get hired. Landing a job may be tough, but Get Hired is here for you every step of the way

with advice on resumes, networking, negotiation, and so much more. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you like to listen. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story.

And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.