Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Pet Store Probation

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

One of our listeners has a unique technique in order to give herself a pick-me-up on a date. And not only did it work for her, it led her to a guy she really likes too! Hear her strategy in a brand new Second Date! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story.

And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell

my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. How many times have we heard guys come on this show and say, Oh man, I have a foolproof way of meeting hot, available ladies and it works every time. Yeah. At least ten. And then they're always on the show with us right yeah so right today though shoe is on the other foot because there's a woman on the phone

who apparently has her own sneaky way of how to meet cute single dudes and i wonder if we're going to be shaking our heads at her too let's welcome to the show lily lily how you doing hey i'm good thanks how are you doing? Hey, I'm good, thanks. How are you doing? Good. Are you outside of a clinic as we speak? You found me out. Now I know why he won't call me back.

He's nursing. Well, we're curious about this strategy that you have, but first tell us about the guy. Well, the guy and the strategy kind of go hand in hand. Oh, okay. Well, in that case, erase what I just said and tell us about the strategy. Oh, man. I guess it sounds silly, but it always cheers me up. So I was having a really bad day.

And when I have bad days, I take a little cue from out of the Breakfast at Tiffany's handbook where I'll dress up and make myself feel really pretty and I'll go to like some random store and if there's a cute guy that's working there, I'll, I don't know, maybe put on a little bit of the stupid girl act and get him to sort of try to talk to me. Like what? Like, are these shoes? What do you do while shopping? Why can't we see air? Are these shoes? What do you do while shopping? Not that bad.

Why can't we see air? What's in there? It makes me feel a little bit better about myself when I'm feeling down. So this particular day, I went to a pet store. Oh, okay. I was picturing you in a mall or something. I know, and I was like, it's full of high school workers. We're in a pet or something. All right. I know, and I was like, it's full of high school workers. There we go.

We're in a pet store. A pet store, and, you know, there's always cute animals, which is delightful, and there's a really cute guy working there. Oh. And a guy who likes animals. Right, exactly. So I'm sort of wandering around, like, the cat section, like, with the cat beds and stuff, and when he passed by, I said, I'm so sorry. These dog beds just look so itty bitty. Like, do you have anything bigger? And he's like, Oh, you're in the cat section. Here's the dog beds. And we kind of

hit it off and we started chatting and okay. So you use it as a conversation starter. Basically. Yeah. I could see how that would work for a guy because dudes like to come in and be helpful and knowledgeable to a woman to make them feel good, too. If we were dumb, we would not pick up that you were acting. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, this poor helpless woman. Is this an opportunity to explain something? Yeah, I can mansplain. I cannot resist it.

So did we learn this guy's name yet? Well, his name's Ethan. Oh, Ethan, okay. He's really cute. He was really sweet. I actually really liked him, and we kind of hit it off, and we ended up exchanging numbers. Okay.

Man, you are good at this. Well, gosh, there's the rest of the story. So I didn't hear anything from him, And so I tried texting him and just said, Oh, you know, you were so helpful. And I just have like a couple other questions. Like, are you going to be in tonight? When we next could I like drop in? And he wasn't really responding. And when he would, he would never be working when I was like, oh, are you going to be in? I mean, do you think you made it too professional and not flirty enough on the text? I mean, I was trying to make it flirty. Okay. There are a few little things in there. Like, I had just such a great time chatting with you. You're so helpful.

Yeah, yeah. Is there anything in your mind, like thinking back on your interaction, where maybe something could have been off or weirded him out? The only thing I can think of is that he really thinks that I'm stupid. There's a fine line, right? That is the chance you play when you play the dumb game. Right. So here's my thing. I have a master's.

I graduated from Oxford. Like, I know that maybe sometimes that can be a little intimidating. So part of it is just like, I don't know. I'm trying maybe sometimes that can be a little intimidating so part of it is just like I don't know I'm trying to counter that I'm trying to like make myself more approachable and just you know well maybe like trying out like the dog food and tasting it yourself that may have been one step over the line but you guys never hung out right you never went on any sort of date outside of the pet store no and that's what I was trying to make happen okay you know and and it just he he wasn't really writing me back and when he would it was always just like i'm not working oh oh that's almost like yeah totally his number so that's a good sign yeah so if it is something like i just blew it like my icebreaker went horribly awry i'd love your help to maybe fix it a little bit

well we're gonna we're gonna call ethan for you here in just a second if i could figure out how to use this darn phone i'll help you jeff which button was the old one it's the one that says hold oh i'm just gonna have somebody else do this for me anyway we'll come back call ethan get your second date update right after this. Second date update. If you missed the first part of today's second date, our caller Lily actually has a lot in common with someone else on this show. What's that? Talking about Jose Bolaños. Really?

Because Lily admitted she kind of acted a little bit silly, played up her dumbness in order to meet someone of the opposite gender. And Jose does the exact same thing every single day on this show. It is true. Believe it or not, I actually got decent grades in school. I'm not that dumb. See, he's playing it down. He actually has a doctorate from Harvard in kinesiology. No, not that.

Jose, spell kinesiology for everyone. I don't even know if it starts with a K or a C. Yes. C, humble. Probably K-E-N. I love that about Jose. I just, he's so smart. He really is.

It's sad that you guys really don't think I'm smart. Just like with Jose and his love life, maybe Lily played it up a little bit too much when she met Ethan at the pet store. She's worried maybe that's the reason he's not meeting up with her a second time. I mean, it could be uncute to a certain point. Yeah, I was the one who was like, oh, this is brilliant because guys want to help. But I also agree there's a fine line.

If a girl's a total idiot, you don't want to date that either. Are you ready to be a smarty around him, Lily? Because we know you are. Or maybe a mini. Just be like in the middle. Well, no. I mean, I want to be with somebody who likes me for who I naturally am. But, you know, I understand

that it's not always great to start things out guns blazing with, you know, Hermione Granger. You just have to get smarter progressively. Hermione's smart, right? Hermione didn't go to Oxford. She went to Hogwarts. They're the same thing. Very similar.

You know, same country. All right. I feel like we're blowing everybody's IQ who's listening, so let's just call Ethan. All right. Even I sound smart right now. Good luck to us. Yay! Here we go.

Hello? Hey, we're looking for Ethan. Speaking. Oh. Hey. Sorry, buddy. Is this a bad time to call? You sound like you're down. No, I just didn't recognize the number.

I don't. What's up? Who is this? Yeah, we're a radio show, so we're going to need you to pick up your energy to help our ratings. Oh, wow. Jeff, we don't need to, like. I'm just

used to sales calls. I'm pretty wary. I'm one of those that answers them all too. I do. Take me off your list. We're not really trying to sell you anything. We're trying to actually hook you up with one of our listeners. We'd love to take you off our list.

Oh. What's the scoop? I'm listening okay this is a woman that you've actually already met at the pet store where you work at her name's lily oh um yeah yeah yeah yeah you remember lily yeah i yes i do okay can we ask what you thought about her um oh, oh gosh, how do I say this? It's not so much what I think about her. She seems great. It's just, you know, circumstances around, you know, the pet store and everything. And like, uh,

Hold on. Circumstances. Hold on. Are you in a relationship? That's what it sounds like. No, no. Let me ask you a really easy question. Are you into Lily?

Do you like her? Yeah, I just don't think the way that, you know, through the pet store and everything, like, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Does that make sense? What? Inappropriate? Wait a minute. According to Lily, you gave her your phone number.

So you could understand how she would be a little bit confused that you're not wanting to hang out with her because she says she's tried several times. So, listen, in my defense, she's tried to meet me at the pet store for advice. Yeah, she told us that. So wait, I don't know. You keep

saying it's not appropriate with the pet store. Is there a pet store policy? No kissing in the store. So, yeah, there a pet store policy no kissing in the store so yeah i i don't want to hang out at the store um okay so hang out outside the store what's the problem i think she's just using that as an opening to like talk to you i don't think that that means like she would love if you asked her out yeah i just i don't know i'm not in a place right now where i was really even expecting something like this I just I'm hesitant there's you know there's other

things it's sort of complicated does that make sense not really and maybe maybe it's something where you don't want to talk to us because you don't know us but it might be better if you just told Lily directly because she's actually on the other line right now and has been listening

to this entire conversation, dude. Oh, all right. Hey, Ethan. So yeah, I was listening and, um, a lot of it didn't really make sense to me either. Um, I just, I thought you were really cool and you know, whatever it is, I just, I'd love to know and, know sort this out no i'm sorry i'll cut to it um i don't act really work there wait what what wait what'd you say you don't work at the pet store yeah well not anymore um what oh here's the thing it's not like i i got i

got fired or anything it's just that it was complicated. So I was doing community service. What? Voluntary community service? Nobody really does that, Jess. No, that's just called volunteering, Jess. You don't call it community service. Yeah, you don't.

Hey, courts, I have a question. Could you assign me to a... I mean, I would also like to know if this was involuntary community service. Involuntary? No, it was court ordered. Oh. That's okay.

Do we want to ask why? Listen, people do all sorts of dumb things at certain points in their life. You sound like you are doing the time. Okay. Making up for what you did. Yeah, I'm for what you did. I'm definitely getting ready again.

Mind if I just ask if this was just for something stupid or like if you happened to murder someone by chance? Well, with murder, they don't really let you do community service. They're like, oh, you know what? You took out three people. You know what? Go to the pet store. Nothing like that. I really don't want to get into it. Yeah, sure. But I will

say this. It did get me on TV and that part was kind of cool. You sound proud of it now. Wait, so TV gets to know but radio doesn't get to know? Come on, throw us a bone. Or send us a link to watch it somewhere. I'm not going into it. I don't want any more attention about it.

Okay, so let's move aside from the court stuff. But that was so fun, Jeff. Well, let's get to the point of why we're calling you. That's true, that's true. It's trying to get you and Lily to go out. What do you think about seeing Lily away from the pet store? Or from schools. We don't know what kind of situation you're in.

Any area that you're allowed within 100 feet of. No, nothing like that. I can still go by schools. Okay. Okay. This is the kind of detective work we're doing for you, Lily. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Yeah. The idea of hanging out with Lily sounds good? No, it does. It's just I'm a mess right now. I'm kind of a work in progress. Well, hey, Ethan, if I can jump in really fast, if it's okay. Ethan, I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. And I honestly, I don't care.

Like I, you seem really cool. You seem awesome. I'd love to get to know you better. I mean, we all, we all do silly things. You know, when I met you, when I met you at the pet store, I had been having like the worst day ever. And I, you know, got gussied up and I was trying to cheer myself up and was probably acting a little silly and dumber than I really am. Just flirt with a really cute guy who I liked. And I'd love for both of us to just sort of get to know each other for who we really are. Listen, I appreciate that. I just, I feel right now that I am not composed enough to deserve somebody like you. That's kind of sad.

That's very sweet, but I'd love to be the judge of that. The judge. That's a pun. And we're the jury. It sounds kind of like a project a little bit, Lily. I mean, he's saying he's not ready to date. He's got to work on himself. Girls love projects.

It's not a good idea. They don't. I've never done a second date where it's been so hard to convince a convicted felon to go out with a woman. Okay. Not a felony. Okay. It was a misdemeanor.

Whatever it was. More clues. Write it down. Broke the up. Lily is happy to look past all of your transgressions that you've done in your life and give you another chance. And we'll give you a chance and even pay for that date. Yeah, man. man it's a great opportunity we're all going out on a limb for you if you'll say yes yeah i i don't know i appreciate you paying for the first one but i don't know okay

we'll pay for the next five days we will pay for the wedding how about this you're gonna bankrupt the station bro how about he just keeps lily's number when he's ready, can he text you? I mean, yeah, totally. But I mean, I have to say, you know, it doesn't sound like you're really that into it. And I'm not, you know, if you were interested, you'd be interested. You're right. You're right. I mean, listen, the way I'm looking at it is I got to get right for me to be right for somebody else.

Oh, that's good. Maybe if you showed the clip, she'd stop asking. Translation, he'll call you when the ankle monitor's allowed to come off, okay? Well, thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. Guess I can't get someone smart or dumb. Don't be so hard on yourself, Lily. You can't even get someone with a criminal record either.

There's got to be somebody there. Maybe a smart criminal. Just kidding. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. It's funny when people openly brag about being on TV. I know Brooke does it all the time. She hops on her Insta stories and goes, look at me. I'm on a local daytime TV show.

I'm better than you. I don't say that. It sounds like someone's jealous. It's just implied though. Someone's jealous but that's cute. I have been searching for this guy on Google. I cannot find what his crime is. It is driving me nuts. The thing is bragging about being on daytime TV is different than being on the news

which is where he was. And I'm just trying to think positive about it. I'm going to think that he was in the background of like a weather shot on the 7 o'clock news. And that's why you get arrested and have to do a community service? No. Yeah, like some meteorologist was trying to report on a storm and he was in the back waving. Boring, Jeff.

I want something juicy. Maybe he was in the crowd during a sports report at the stadium. I want like a naked shoplifting charge or something like that. Give us something dirty. You want dirty stuff. I don't know. It's more fun. I'm trying to stay positive.

I don't believe he was the top story of the night. Oh, okay. Although, let's be honest, he probably was. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, we couldn't help him today get a second day, but we could help you email the show. We'll call that person who isn't calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever.

I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms. But not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened.

And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday. On the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night.

It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.