Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Playing Possum

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

One of our listeners was sharing his WORST first date stories on an evening out and now he’s thinking maybe it’s the reason she’s ghosting him…See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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$1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First. Introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the Quarterback Series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First

CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. We got an email from a guy wanting a second date update who says he thinks he's finally cracked the dating matrix. Oh, really? Honestly, I have no

idea what that means. If this has to do with have someone taking a blue pill instead of the red pill, I'm gonna be upset. I'm just hoping Keanu Reeves is on the phone right now asking us to help him with his love life. Yeah, it's difficult for him. Keanu, are you taking the little blue pill?

Burke wants to know. Keanu, is that you? Hey, hey, this is Evan. Oh. Oh, yeah, this is not Keanu. Not quite as hot, Evan, but okay, we'll take you. Keanu probably wouldn't have said more than one word. I can't live up to Keanu.

Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to be that disappointed. I don't know. Maybe Keanu will call in later. But tell us about this. What's this dating matrix thing that you've cracked? What does that mean? My friends and I came up with this.

It's this kind of perspective thing, you know. Say that again. A what? It's like a trifecta. Trifecta. Okay. So there's three points a woman can have. She can only have two, never the third.

I've seen this. This is brilliant. I don't get it. What kind of points? What does that mean? So they can be hot, they can be sane, or they can be single. They can be hot and sane, but then they're not single, right? Oh, okay.

It's perfect. It works with guys, too. They can be sane and single, but then they won't be hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. You can only have two of the three points, but not all of them. I feel like that works for men, too. Yeah, it does.

I don't think that it's just a women exclusive there. It totally does. It goes for both sexes. Look over here, Brooke. Hello. The trifecta right in front of you. Yeah, well, you're not very sane, though. Oh.

Actually, are you any of the three points, Jeff? Yeah. Sorry, bro. That was a roast. I'm sorry. I wasn't going to do it, so I appreciate it. I was going to say that you stepped up for the rest of the team. You're not hot or sane, whatever the third thing was.

I opened myself up to that black. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. All right, well, back to Evan and your dating matrix. You think that you found a girl who's all three? Well, I definitely hope she's all three. It seems like she is. Okay. Now, just real quick before we learn about her, are you able to offer all three?

I might just think I do. Okay. Okay. But Jeff thought that for a second. Don't let your friends put you in check, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So what's her name? Tara. Tara. Tara, okay. Okay, where'd you meet her? Oh, we met on a dating app. Okay. Do you list this trifecta

theory on your bio? No, not on the bio. Probably offend people. Probably not the right way to lure people in. Oh, people do all sorts of weird things on their dating bios. We know that from you. It wouldn't be, like, shocking. You would know, Brooke, I guess.

Keep falling for them. Anyway, tell us more about Tara. What did you like about her? She's super fun. She's really cute. And she seems down to earth. Okay. What'd you like about her? She's super fun. She's really cute. And she seems down to earth. Okay. What'd you guys do on your date?

We went to a bar, had some drinks, and we mostly told bad dating stories that we've had. Okay. Bonding over the bad dating stories is good. But don't you think it gets to a point in that conversation where it just gets a little tiresome? Like, almost like ick. Like, how many stories do you have?

I feel like maybe the common denominator is you. The last story's like, in one day, all we talked about was bad dates. And I was like,

oh. Do you remember any of the stories? She told me about this first date she went on where the guy she was going out with

brought his mom with him. Oh, gosh. Impressive. That's an impressive start. He introduced her as his girlfriend. To the mom, not the mom. He introduced the new girl to the mom.

Tara. Yeah, yeah. He introduced Tara as his girlfriend to his mom. Oh, my gosh. What's wrong with that exactly? It's not like the worst thing that a guy could do, though. It's pretty bad, Jeff. Don't bring your mom. You're lying. I know your mom wants to come.

I'm just going to make a note of this. Don't bring mom. Okay. The thing about my mom is she thinks any girl that talks to me is my girlfriend. Is that your new girlfriend? No, mom, that's just a friend. What about you, Evan? Did you have a bad dating story?

Most of my bad dates have been kind of boring. So I tried to tell her one of my roommate's bad dates where they found an injured possum just lying there and he insisted on taking it home with them. Oh, no. That's a lot. Trying to take home a wild possum. Yeah.

He's like, how was your night last night? Well, I took home a wild possum. It's not a euphemism. Everyone's high-fiving nice. Literally have to get a rabavy shot later so okay that sounds fun like bonding over stuff like that it is kind of sad that you don't have that bad of a dating story yet but actually no this is right that is good overall was there any bad moments in the date it really didn't feel like there were there wasn't a lull in the conversation. We both just kept talking.

It didn't end with a kiss or anything, but, you know. Okay, so how did you leave it? I asked if I could see her again. She said, yeah, sure. But every time I tried to text her, she said she's busy or she didn't see the text. I'm surprised the possum story didn't get her all woven. That was the kissing time. Yeah, sure.

You can see me again. Sure. I'm worried because the trifecta, the same part is pretty easy to hide. The first few days, you know, the third part doesn't come up for years. Yeah. For that, the single part is actually pretty high for one day, too. But that is why he said that he was hopeful that she was all three things of the dating matrix triangle. Can we confirm that?

Maybe we can when we come back. We're going to call Tara for you and try and get you your second date update right after this, alright? Okay. Alright then, hold on. We're about to find out if the dating matrix can actually be broken. Oh, wow.

Because we learned about it in the first part from our listener, Evan. Apparently, it works kind of like a triangle where there's three qualities about a person. They're hot. They're sane. They're single. But the rule is you can only have two of them. Yes. If you're hot and sane, then you're probably not single.

If you're hot and single, you're probably not sane. If you're sane and single, then you're probably not hot. Can't have all three. I'm just single. Jeff has none of them. We've gone over this, so it's still kind of an honor to be... Yeah, breaking it down is really depressing, just internally in the room. I mean, honestly, there's no good luck on any of those combinations.

Just finding more and more reasons every day to give up and move to Columbia to find a mate. But Evan thinks maybe Tara could actually break the matrix and be all three qualities all at once. We're about to call her and find out. We'll see. Don't know if she thinks the same since she's not calling him back. She's not perfect. She's not good at texting back. We're going to find out the reason.

You ready to do this, Evan? Yep, I'm all ready. If this doesn't work out, are you going to give up on dating altogether? This is the last chance ditch effort to find the perfect girl. It depends. If she's not single then yeah i'll keep going okay okay that's the easiest one to swallow but if she's not hot that'd be a weird one to find out after the date you never know okay yeah

yeah okay let's find out here we go hello hey uh we're looking for tara uh hi yeah this is she okay perfect uh my name is jeff from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in the morning yeah the whole show's here tara we're excited to have you on that's the show yeah thanks what show i'm sorry from where it's a radio show okay um hi yeah it's a little weird but uh we do this segment called the second date update and we're trying to help out one of our listeners score another meetup with you okay um my goodness i know weird it's a guy who is it do we oh yeah i was just gonna have you guess for a long time but maybe i'll just tell you his name's evan she's like do we get to know yes yes you get to know tara you remember evan oh my god yes i do we've heard about the date from Evan's perspective, about going to a bar and having drinks and having what seemed like a good night. Yeah, he said you guys commiserated over all your bad dating experiences.

Right. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yeah, we did. And that's kind of the reason why I just cannot get over what happened. I'm really honestly just embarrassed. What? Kind of annoyed.

Wait, embarrassed and annoyed. Oh, my God. He said he couldn't think of one thing that went wrong on the date. Oh, gosh. I mean, I'm probably doing my best to, like, just hold it in and not let it show on my face. Oh, my God. What happened?

Do you mind telling us? Yeah, it just, it just really sucks. Cause I felt like we had a good connection and then I got awkward because we were sharing our worst funny date stories and it was like going really well. I told the story about how I went on a date with this guy and he brought his mom along. Yeah, yeah. He told us that. He said that he told you a story about his roommate.

Right. So, yeah, that story about his roommate, how his roommate took a girl out for drinks and they were like really tipsy and they were walking over a bridge. He kind of got the story a little bit wrong. How would he get the story wrong? How do you know the story? Because the girl, so the girl tried to bring home the possum in her purse. Right. And as I'm hearing this story in my like drunken, like catalog of a brain I'm going through and I'm like, Oh my God,

that girl was me. you're possum girl i'm the girl he uses your story has the worst possible date that somebody's ever been on oh my god so you dated his roommate for a hot like you went on one date with his roommate we went on one day and i wasn't even trying to bring the possum home i was trying to dig in my purse like in my drunken state to like try to give it some food to maybe give it some life back or energy french fry in this purse i swear did you granola bars one second when you realized that it was about you did you tell evan like anything no no no not at all i literally shut down and i was like wow and that you tell Evan, like, anything? No. No. No, not at all.

I literally shut down. I was like, wow. And that's when you were like, I'm never talking to this guy again. Is it like you didn't want to talk to him again because he thinks you're a horrible dater or because you dated his roommate, a little mix of both? Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Both.

Just both. I was like, and to think also, too, too, that his like roommate was kind of exaggerating the story. So I'm like, wait, I don't want to like kind of, you know, put them in a weird situation, but then this, is it weird that I went on a date with his roommate first? Well, now's your chance to finally set the record straight and get the story right with Evan, because he's actually on the other line and you could tell him all the ways that he's messed up.

Hey Tara. Oh my gosh. Oh, he's messed up hey tara oh my gosh that's good that's good you're possum girl oh my gosh i like have my face to my palm literally um that was me yeah the story was a little off, and I didn't want to, like, correct it right then and there because I was just so mortified. But that was me. Oh, my God. Did you have any idea, Evan?

No, I had no idea. She has a great poker face. I had no idea. Oh, my God. She's like, yeah, that girl sounds awful. So, Tara, what part of the story wasn't right? What part did the roommate get wrong? So, he exaggerated saying that I was trying to bring the possum home in my purse um i was definitely not gonna bring the possum in my purse i didn't want to touch it i just simply was bent

down by it to try to feed it my leftover like i don't know if it was trail mix or granola i don't know what i had in my purse. Don't go near injured animals. She wasn't trying to adopt the injured possum. She was trying to nurse it back to health. Does that make you look at her differently, Evan? If that's true, then yeah. It's a really

different story. Usually I trust my roommate on this thing. He said, after he had it in your purse, you started walking it back home. Her story makes more sense. Yeah, it does. But his is more fun at a party. If you're going to tell the story at a party,

it's way more fun to like... It's more fun to embellish. Tara was actually trying to help the possum. If it was Brooke, she would have tried to cook it right there on the side of the road. I know, that's what I was going to say.

Possum tastes like chicken. Yeah. Maybe she would have bit right into it, uncooked. Brooke actually has a roadkill for these situations that'd be so amazing tara i mean it looks like maybe you should have said something you should have spoken up when evan got the story wrong yeah oh gosh i mean i guess but i really couldn't get over the fact that i just was frozen like oh no oh no oh no like sinking in my

seat like this is me he's talking about me oh my. You don't know how he's going to react. Dude, what do you think about this? Looking back on it now, it's kind of funny. She just kept saying how horrible it sounded. Well, she meant it sounded horrible, but just not in the way you thought. Yeah, it did. Like, this is horrible that I'm even listening to you retell this. I mean, now that we've kind of come to an understanding here

maybe there is actually a path forward for the two of you and we'd like to offer to send you on a second date tara awesome girl yeah we we'd love to give you another shot with evan and we'd pay for that date you guys can go out somewhere and nurse another like sick injured animal back to health together i mean i would love to go out. And now that I'm kind of just trying to get over being so mortified over this whole thing. Okay. Yeah. Now that I know the entire story, I really cannot wait to go out again. And I really cannot wait to tell my roommate about this.

Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. So you are going to tell him then? Oh, no. Because we can do it in an awkward Tuesday phone call if you want to let him know that you're dating Possum Girl now. I think we would just hear two dudes laughing constantly. I don't know that there would be any awkwardness. Yeah, that's probably true.

You can make sure you give her a stuffed possum on your first date as a present, okay? One with the stuffing pulled out of it. It has to be injured. It will do. Alright, so congratulations you guys. You got a second date. All right.

Cute. And the matrix is still intact. Yeah. Sort of. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I think it is good that they agreed to go out on another date. But you know what I can't stop thinking about? I couldn't stop thinking about it the entire time.

Is it the same thing as me? I don't think so. It's when someone in the room said the dating matrix applies to guys too. Oh, yeah, for sure. I don't think that's true. Really? You don't hear a lot about guys being sane and hot. Sanity is not usually the main point for guys.

Just hear me out. I think you replace it with funny, cute, and rich for guys. You only get two of them. Funny and rich, then he's probably not cute. Cute and funny, then he's probably not rich. And rich and cute, then he's definitely not funny. I'm sticking with sane. Sorry, Jeff.

There's a lot of crazy dudes out there. Leave it to a crazy lady, Jeff. It's not you. It's us. I think that it needs to be adjusted for guys to three different rules. Text in 78592. What do you think the three qualities should be for the men's dating matrix? I mean, I think there's a stereotype of women looking for rich guys, but I don't think it's as like actually prevalent.

I mean, this is coming from me. I've never dated anyone who made more money than me. That was when I was making minimum wage. You're just dating on this guy. Yeah, it's fine. But remember, you can get all of our podcasts and check out our second dates wherever you get yours at Brooke and Jeffrey.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on bumble john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts.

The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the Quarterback Series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott,

Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.