Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Awkward Aquarium

Episode Date: September 13, 2013

David's date at the aquarium ended in a "Whack ass hug"... But when you hear WHAT HE DID there you'll probably understand why. Listen to the PODCAST. (Image Courtesy: ZakVTA. Creative Commons)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Rook and Jubal's second date update. I think Jose Bolaños will back me up on this. The best way to ask a girl out is to stalk her Facebook profile just randomly, then friend request her. Yes. And then ask her out. Yes. That way she knows you're paying attention to her. Oh, that's what it is.

It works for Jose. Yeah, because he's single and alone. Yeah, but he gets dates. Yeah, never call him back again. Yeah, but I still get dates. He's making a point. He works for Jose. Yeah, because he's single and alone. Yeah, but he gets dates. Yeah, they never call him back again. Yeah, but I still get dates. He's making a point. He still gets dates. That's what David did, right, David? Yeah, I mean, it wasn't that big of a deal

I don't think, but... David, he doesn't even want to be compared to Jose. Yeah, he's like, no, no, no, I did not do that. Your email that you sent us says that you found this girl online on Facebook and just kind of randomly were looking through her picture gallery, then decided to friend her and ask her out. Yeah, I mean, doesn't everyone do that?

No. Seriously. See if a chick's hot, right? I mean, I don't know. Can a girl tell if you're looking at her photos and stuff? No. No. Not at all.

Yeah, so what's the big deal? If you like one from two years ago, it might be a little suspicious. I mean, I know I'm out of the singles game, but Lydia, would you honestly say yes to a random dude on Facebook? No, I'm a little too scared after Catfish came out. Thank you. David, tell us about Mandy. So I started checking photos out of her.

Like, she was smoking hot. Like, her body's unreal. And then, yeah, so then I just friend-requested her, and then I was kind of just waiting for my right time to, like, swing on in and take her out on the date or something. And it just happened, like, a week or two ago, actually. So tell us about the actual date. Oh, the date was sick. I mean, so I picked her up, and we went to this bar that's across the street

from that sweet-ass aquarium. That was the first time I took a chick to an aquarium. The aquarium is actually a really cute date. I wouldn't call it sick or a sweet-ass aquarium. That's the first time I took a chick to an aquarium. The aquarium is actually a really cute date. I wouldn't call it sick or a sweet-ass aquarium. That place is pretty sweet. I like that place. Right? It's sick.

Yeah. See? It's a sweet-ass aquarium. What was the highlight of the aquarium? I don't know what you're not getting here, Brooke. What was that? So they have, you know, the part with the, they have, like, the sea otters and stuff, you know,

and, like, they have the octopus exhibit and stuff. Like, octopi, octopuses are octopi. I don't know. It's octopuses. It's octopuses. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. It's positive.

Octopuses sound weird. I don't know. It just sounds weird. I think it's just octopus. But, yeah, I don't know. It was sick. And it's like, I don't know. I like being underwater and stuff.

And, I don't know. It was nice to be stated, too. I didn't get drunk before I went to the aquarium in elementary school, you don't know, I like being underwater and stuff. And I don't know, it was nice to be stated, too. I didn't get to get drunk before I went to the aquarium in elementary school, you know. That's what I always kind of wanted to do. You were drunk. No, not like uber drunk. Oh. It was awesome.

She obviously seemed really into this, too. Yeah, I mean, I thought so. I mean, she was having a great old time giggling and laughing, you know. I mean, it thought so. I mean, she was having a great old time. We're giggling and laughing, you know. I mean, it was a great time. It was one of the chillest, most awesome dates I've ever had, honestly. So what did you do? You can't make fun of the way he talks because of anybody in this room. He's used current words, at least, words that are still relevant in 2013.

Chillest is not a current word. He just made chillest up. I've never heard that before in my life. But the other ones I've heard before. At least he's not going to erase the roof until, you know. Listen, I do say that still, and don't judge me, all right?

How'd your date end? It could have ended better, I guess. She didn't want to get another drink, unfortunately. I was saying that she wanted to grab a few more, but yeah, and then she gave me this like whack-ass side hug and then like left whack-ass side hug it was the first date and i'm hoping she's just kind of a quiet girl that's what she seemed like and okay since that evening i've texted her and called her

a bunch of times she messaged me back once just saying that she was busy and she hit me up later and of course she never did david do you do a lot of listening on your date or just mostly talking i get excited easily okay sometimes i can get carried away with my combos because i just kind of start yapping i'm like i'm older now i realize this is my habit david sounds like every guy i've ever dated, which really worries me. All right, David. Oh, yeah, David. You were going to call him. I'm assuming you're talking a little snack right there, but what's wrong with that?

I don't know. I like to do sports and stuff. She didn't really get that. Okay, David. But, I mean, I did animals. All right. I did animals, you know, hence the aquarium. I tried to take it to work, you know?

I did everything I possibly could. Okay, David. We're going to play a song. Come back and get your second date update, all right? Sounds like a plan. Okay, just hang on. Back, back. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning.

Second date update. Remember, if you want a second date update, all you have to do is email us, brookandjubal at moving925.com. We will call the person who didn't call you back like we're about to do for Dave. Dave emailed us about Mandy. He stalked her on Facebook. She agreed to a date with him.

He went out for some drinks and took her to the aquarium and got an awkward side hug at the end of the evening. I believe that was a whack-ass side hug. A whack-ass side hug. Yeah, I mean, I just want you to get it correct. That's how I was dated, and he hasn't heard from her in a week or so. David, I was just looking over your email. You tried to buy her a gift at the gift shop?

Yeah, totally. She could, you know, like, have a little memory of the awesome, like, aquarium time we had. I don't know. That's pretty cute. That's awesome. What were you trying to buy her? Oh, one of those, like, cute little, like, stuffed animal sea otter things. Who doesn't like a sea otter?

They're so freaking cute. What? Agreed. I agree, David. Why didn't you get it for her? I saw the face that she gave me when I offered it to her, and it kind of made me sad. I was like, I'd probably not be testing it. She didn't want it?

Yeah, I know. That sounds awesome. If someone were going on a date and someone bought me a sea otter, I'd be thankful. Yeah. Thank you. Exactly sounds awesome. If someone would want to date someone about me to Seattle, I'd be thankful. Thank you. Exactly, bro. You sure you want to call her? She sounds like a terrible person. She sounds like a SEAL hater.

It is what it is. All right, here we go. We're going to call her, okay? All right, sick. Hello? Hey, can I speak to Mandy, please? This is she. Mandy, this is the Seattle Aquarium calling.

You recently visited our lovely establishment? Um, yeah. Why were you calling? Well, we're missing a sea otter from the gift shop and wondering if you might be the culprit. What? This is actually Jubal from Brigham Jubal in the Morning on Movie 92.5. How are you?

I'm fine. What's going on? I like how they went from weird to weird again. Yeah. What's going on is you recently went on a date with a guy named David to the Seattle Aquarium, right? Yes. And David wants to go out with you again. He liked you a lot, but he's wondering why you won't answer his phone calls.

Okay. Is there any particular reason why you don't want to see David again? Well, Ty came across his d-bag to me and seems to talk a lot. Yes. Oh, he talks so much. And he has so much energy. But he seems like, you know, he's sincere. He has good intentions.

Well, not so much on the date. What were some of the highlights or lowlights of the date? I'm wondering what a date with David is like. Sick, brah. He bought me shots on our first date, and I thought, why are you trying to lick me up? Wait, did you take the shots, though, Mandy? I mean, did you drink with him and have a good...

I did, because it was just fine. He's like, shot, shot, you know, take it, come on. I'm just like, I didn't know what to do. I was like, well, I might as well be drunk during this. Take it. Let's go check out the bivalves over at the aquarium. It's going to be awesome. So you didn't like the fact that he was trying to do shots at dinner.

You didn't like going to the aquarium because I figured that would be a good place to take a date. Here's the thing. Like, the aquarium at first, it seemed like a cute idea but when we got there like he is so drunk that he goes up to the octopus thing and starts humping the window again okay sounds like a fun date to me oh my god i mean you went out on a date with a guy that stalked you on facebook. Were you really shocked by all this? I don't know. I mean, you seem nice on Facebook, and it's always nice to be told you're pretty. You know what I mean?

Yeah. My big question for you is why would you turn down a gift at the gift shop? He asked me if I wanted to gift at the gift shop. I'm just like, no, that's fine. So he pulls out a gift from his pocket. It's a locket with a picture of me in my bikini,

a picture he must have gotten on Facebook. What? And his face on the other side. No! It was mainly my chest. No! This just got creepy.

Wait, wait, wait. I gotta try to say something. I'm sorry. Hey, Mandy, what up? Sorry. What up? What up? Sorry. What up? What up? Mandy, that's David.

He was actually listening the whole time. Oh, weird, David. I was just trying to be funny because I thought it was just going to be like a thing. You're like talking snack on it. I wasn't trying to be creepy or anything. I'm sorry if it was. But what's weird about that? Everything is weird.

There are so many levels of weird. It's a bikini. I see bikinis all the time. Not helping, David. Oh my gosh. Who doesn't want to get faded before the aquarium? I like getting faded. What's wrong with that?

Is it something you do often, David? Well, sometimes on my Taco Tuesdays or something, I'll have like some tequila. But, you know, in general, I wait until Thursday or Friday. You don't have to wait. How old are you, David? I'm 24. Hey, and Brooke, fun like that never has to stop.

David sounds like he's doing the right thing. You can go to work, Chuck. You can go to Aquarium. It's fine. So, you pulled out, David, you pulled out a picture of her in a locket of her in a bikini. You can see why she wouldn't want to go out with you, right? Not at all, because I thought it was like a nice, kind gesture. And I was hoping, I was hoping there'd be like a cute little sea otter locket thing there that I could put that picture in.

And it'd be even more fun. David, there is a reason why you left that information out when you were talking to us. No way. And what's wrong with humping an octopus? For real. It's obviously not like I'm serious. I'm not like trying to, you know, get off humping an octopus? It's real. It's not like I'm serious. I'm not trying to get off humping an octopus. I just was like being a coot.

Wow. He actually went by the sea otters and tried to hump them too and French kissed them. Oh my gosh! Sounds like a fun time. I want to go out with him. I'd love to hump some octopuses. It sounds like a lot of fun. Obviously Mandy didn't dig it.

Obviously we have a good time, bro. Maybe we can be wingmen and go rage it. All right. That sounds like a plan to me. Hey, Mandy. Oh, my God. Mandy, I'm sorry. Before I agree to going out with David, I do have to ask you this. Would you like to go on a second date with David?

We will pay for it. I don't think so. Give him another shot. He's just having a good time. It's okay. It's fine. I'll pass. Oh, time. It's okay. It's fine. I'll pass. Aw, man.

Whatever. It's still, I mean, it's no big deal. I get it. David, at least you got a wingman out of the whole thing. Hell yeah, dude. Thank you, bro. You get me. Yeah.

You're freaking awesome, man. That's why I listen to you guys all the time. Like, you guys make sense to me. No one else makes sense. I don't make sense to them. I don't know. And I guys all the time. Like, you guys make sense to me. No one else makes sense. I don't make sense to them. I don't know. And I'm proud that we're the only people that make sense to you. I'm proud of that.

This is what I worry about with our show. I just want to let you know that. David? Yep. Sorry you didn't get the second date, man. Dude, bro, it's not the end of the world. It's okay. Obviously, Mandy's kind of lame and doesn't know how to have a good time.

So we'll move on to the next one. We'll move on to the next one. And I don't even know if Mandy's still there. If she is, sorry. Maybe I'll see you around and I won't have to talk to you next time. You'll see us having a good time at the end of the bar and you'll be over there in your quiet space. Broken Jubal in the morning. Aren't you something to admire?

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story.

And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport.

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