Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Bathroom Burrito Disaster

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

One of our listeners says the guy she went out with did the BARE MINIMUM, yet she’s still eager to get a Second Date with him! Are the standards really THIS low??See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bread and butter wines pair with the life moments you love. Offering a rich and jammy Cabernet Sauvignon, a silky smooth Pinot Noir, and a buttery Chardonnay. Bread and butter wines are delicious. Find bread and butter wines in your favorite store. Moving 92.5.

Second date update. Sometimes finding somebody to date doesn't have to be a big complicated process. You know, with swipes and clever pickup lines and DMs and MDs. Sometimes all it takes is one common interest to bond you. Okay, that's cool. You know, like, hey, you like Go-Gur cool. You like Go-Gurts? I like Go-Gurts too. It's getting hot in here. Maybe we should do some Activia in the bedroom.

Activia. You know what I'm saying? Isn't that the digestion? Your probiotic health is sexy. There it is, probiotic. That's how babies are made. That's also how one of our listeners met their date. They're just one common interest. Her name is Megan. What's also how one of our listeners met their date. They're just one common interest.

Her name is Megan. Okay. What's up, Megan? Hi. You and this guy do a little late night yo play. You know what I'm saying? Did you just say yo play? It was all a set up for yo play. Oh my god, I can never look back again. Shut up.

I'm sorry, Megan. I'm having too much fun. Tell us about the guy that you met. What's his name? His name is Kurt. Yeah? Shut up. I'm sorry, Megan. I'm having too much fun. Tell us about the guy that you met. Oh, man, that was amazing. What's his name? His name is Kurt. Oh, my God. Okay, Kurt. I'm sorry. I got to get over Yoplait first.

You're never going to eat yogurt the same way I do. No, it's going to be a much better experience. She's moaning while she eats it. No, Megan, where did you meet this guy? Online. We were both chatting in this Facebook group of this local band that we both like. Oh, okay. Oh, that's your shared interest is the local band.

Yeah, not No Go Gert. Okay. That comes later in the relationship. Yeah. This is cool, though. So you guys started messaging on Facebook on the band fan page? Yeah, we kind of took it over, and it was mostly us chatting. Oh, okay. Well, that's fun. That that's cool how did you move to the next step well i kind of like looked him up a

little bit just to see he seemed like a normal human being and you know he was decent looking so i was like well maybe i'll just message him and maybe we could meet up he was good enough okay he wasn't like movie star but he was still looking enough yeah okay. He wasn't like movie star, but he was good looking enough. Yeah. Okay. I'm sure every man loves that compliment. Yeah.

But I'm sure a lot of women have been in that exact situation. It's like, yeah, you'll do. So what did you guys do for your date? He asked me to come over to his place and he collects vinyl. So we were just going to like hang out and listen to some vinyl. Oh my God. It's hipster love. I love this.

How did that go? It went well. I mean, he has, he has a lot of vinyl. We had some drinks. I might've drank a little too much. Now you're speaking Brooks language. I don't remember the rest of it, but I remember the drinks. So we got fairly drunk we listened to a lot of music and then we got kind of hungry and so we ended up microwaving

a bunch of frozen stuff he had like some burritos and gelato and this i'm sorry but this sounds like a really fun date it sounds like a day with me i I'm like, I want what I do. I want some Hot Pockets. He's listening to vinyl, so it's all like, it's kind of classy, right? Totally. What did you guys connect over besides being intoxicated and the band? In frozen burritos. Oh, there was one point when he wanted to like, this is so silly, he wanted to play me a romantic drum solo because he had one of those electronic drum pads. Oh, cool. a romantic drum solo because he had one of those electronic drum pads. Oh, cool. A romantic drum solo.

What would that sound like? You know, I was kind of drunk. I don't really remember. That's for you, girl. I think it's more of like a jazz thing. Okay. A lot of cymbals. A lot of tapping.

Yeah. A little hi-hat action. Okay. Was he serious or was he joking? I mean, he may have been serious, but he was pretty tipsy as well. So, I mean, it might have been a mix. I don't know. He just wanted some confidence in him.

Yeah. Pretty silly, but it's kind of a cute moment for a first date. He was honestly being drunk and he's still trying to impress you. I think that says a lot. Okay. So, like, did that get you going? Did you make out with him after that? That romantic drum solo?

Get out of those sticks and get over here. We made up for a little bit after that, but it didn't go any further than that. All right. That's good, though. I mean, you had some boundaries. Was the kiss good? I think so. I mean, again, I was drinking, so.

I'm not sure if I kissed him or if it was just the lampshade, but either way, pretty good. How did the night end? So I asked him if I could crash there, and he was a total gentleman, and he let me have the bed, and he slept on the futon. Oh, that's nice. Oh, wow. Yeah. But then I had to, like, leave in the morning because I had to go to a meeting, and so I was like, I kind of just cleaned up a little bit, and then I snuck out because I didn't want to wake him up. Oh, okay. That was nice of you to out because I didn't want to wake him up. Oh, OK.

That was nice of you to clean. You didn't you didn't say bye at all? No, but I did text him later and I made it clear like, hey, I just had to leave for this thing and I didn't want to wake you because you were really soundly asleep. OK. I think that was a good move. What did he say back? He hasn't responded and he's not responding on Facebook either. And so I don't really understand what happened. Like, and happened like and you know I totally go on a second date with

him and I am interested but he's kind of ghosted You blocked you out. Right. Are you a sloppy or an emotional drunk? Oh, yeah, like in the past. Yeah. No, I usually just get, like, really happy and energized. I'm going to go to bed. Yeah, that's me, too. All right, now. Well, we have some things to think about. We're going to play a song, and when we come back, we're going to call Kurt for you, and

we're going to try and get you your second date update. Did you just play the mood like a musical guy that knows his way around a drum set. Okay. Well, that's true. Think about it. When you think of the sexiest musicians of all time, they're all drummers. Really? There are a lot of sexy drummers.

Ringo Starr. Oh. The one-armed drummer from the rock group Def Leppard. That's actually pretty sweet. I don't remember yet. Animal from the Muppets. Yesard? That's actually pretty sweet. I don't remember it. Animal from the Muppets? Yes! Oh, he was so hot.

Of course, last but not least, the little drummer boy. Oh, my God! Oh, man. Do you know how much action this little guy would have gotten if he was around now? I really thought you were going to say Tommy Lee here.

He's a grown drummer boy now. It's okay, Alexis. He was born at the wrong time, let me tell you. Missed opportunity there. But one of our listeners, Megan, recently met an amateur drummer named Kurt. They listened to vinyl records together back at his apartment, ate some

frozen microwave food and made out before they fell asleep on separate beds. When she woke up in the morning, she didn't wake him up when she left. She just decided to go and ever since then, she's had a hard time getting a hold of him. And unfortunately, I think most guys like that. I love it.

I was going to say, I do it on purpose. Yeah, you wake up and you're like, oh, no awkward goodbyes or anything. Okay, I'll text you later. But there was no hookup that night other than the makeout session. Oh, that's true. So then it is kind of awkward. I mean, Megan, are you the type of girl, because you said you were drinking, that doesn't remember everything from that night?

I mean, I remember most of it, I think. Okay. Some people black out more than others. I mean, I'm just asking because she does no idea why he's not calling her. Maybe she doesn't know what she doesn't know, you know? Not sure what that means okay well it makes sense it's time we're gonna give kurt a call and get you your second date update you ready megan all right yep okay here we go hello hi i'm looking for kurt yeah Hello?

Hi, I'm looking for Kurt. Yeah, who's calling? Hey, Kurt, my name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. What? You're calling from a radio show? Yes, a real-life radio celebrity has reached out to you because I want to talk to you. That's so weird.

Yeah. When he said it like that, it was really strange. I thought that was pretty smooth. It wasn't. No, it wasn't, bro. Well, Kurt, the reason why I'm calling is because we're doing a segment called The Second Date Update. Have you ever heard of that before?

No, I have not. Okay. Well, the way that it works is if you go out on a date with somebody and afterwards if that person works is if you go out on a date with somebody and afterwards if that person isn't calling you back you can email our show and we'll reach out to them for you to try and figure out the reason why but i didn't email you guys about anything no somebody else emailed us in regards to you her name's megan megan she emailed you guys. What? Can you let her know that I'm going to be sending her a Venmo request? What?

But that I don't want to talk to her anymore. Oh, did she break something, bro? What are you talking about a Venmo request? A Venmo request. She needs to pay me some money. Okay, Kurt, I mean, slow down a little bit. I don't know what you're talking about. Can I just tell you what we know on our end?

Yeah, I mean, what did the email say or what did she say that happened? When we spoke to her, she said that you guys hung out at your apartment. You listened to some music together, drank, ate some frozen foods. Okay. And she went to bed, and when she woke up in the morning, she just left without saying anything. She didn't mention anything about breaking anything in the apartment or... Yeah, she snuck away from the problem. I mean, what's the problem that you're talking about?

What, you liked her, right? I did. I really did. Until the next morning. I woke up, and yeah, she was nowhere to be found uh-huh you know that and i went into the bathroom to you know use the bathroom it's in the morning oh is that what you do in the bathroom you use it i couldn't even do anything what do you mean i i literally ended up having to use the sink because the toilet is so clogged i don't know what's going on what's in there what she put in there. She clogged your toilet? It could be toilet paper.

You guys, that's embarrassing. But like beyond any little thing, because like I have a plunger. I grabbed it out and I tried to plunge the thing. Nothing happened. What? I went at it for, I don't know, it had to be like 10 minutes of like trying to. Oh, no. This is so embarrassing.

What made you think that it was her? It wasn't me. I live alone. Process of elimination. So wait, you're mad at her because she clogged your toilet? You want her to pay for it? Yeah, that's kind of rude. No, that's not the end of it.

Okay, so once I couldn't get it unclogged, it's a real hassle to get someone in here to do some work in this building. But you always have to let the super know. Right, of course. So I let the super know. And then he hits me with a bill for 500 dollars now i'm out 500 for trying to have an enjoyable night i don't understand it's your only bathroom oh no but you gotta understand she'd be so embarrassed like what is she supposed to say she's supposed to come out of the bathroom like oh i just! I feel like she just ran off

and didn't want to foot a bill. And now I'm stuck with it. And she sends me a message like, hey, it was fun hanging out, blah, blah. Like, doesn't even bring it up. She probably doesn't know that it would cost $500. Maybe you're fault for feeding her frozen burritos. I'm sorry, but. That's humiliating.

I don't know what she was thinking, but there is a sure way to find out. Oh, I'm so embarrassed for her. And that's by asking her directly, because I need to tell you, Megan's been on the other line listening and wants to talk to her. Oh, my... I told you guys, I didn't want to talk to her. Well, if you want your money, you better talk to her.

Yeah. Megan, you there? Yeah. I'm here. Oh, I'm so sorry. Megan? I'm sorry. i'm so sorry megan i'm sorry this is so embarrassing i feel so bad everybody poops we've all read the book i hate talking about this don't even say it though it's a first date like are you sure you need that five hundred dollars do i need five hundred I know, but I didn't feel so bad for her. Are you sure you need $500?

That's not what I mean. It's just like... Okay, just tell me what happened, okay? And then maybe I can understand why you had to leave an embarrassment. Let's just put it that way then instead. Because to me, I woke up and I thought you tried to sneak off. Yeah, so I was at one point fairly drunk and i remember i went in the bathroom and you know when you're drunk and you do something because you think it'll work and then it just

gets worse and worse and worse and that's what happened like so i had a part of a burrito in my hand and i went in the bathroom and then i didn't want to sit it anywhere and then I like tripped on the rug and it fell in the toilet are you saying that you put a burrito in the toilet is that what you just said I thought it would be fine though after I used because I still had to go to the bathroom so I was like it'll flush after I use the toilet it's fine you tried you tried to flush a burrito wait there was a burrito in the toilet. I didn't want to reach in there either. I don't blame you. Yeah, that's fair. And, like, I didn't see the plunger, so I had a roll of Mentos in my purse.

What? So I used those to try to push it. What the? So, wait. You dumped Mentos into the toilet? You pushed the burrito out? Or did you use it like a stick? Yeah, it was like a wand, like in Harry Potter.

Like, I'm pushing it through. I'm trying to, like, push it down the... Oh, no! Okay, so now there's a burrito and Mentos lodged in the toilet. Oh, no. Did you leave at that point? I couldn't.

I felt horrible, so... And I was just panicking. I just kept trying other things. What else could you possibly do? What did you shove in there next? Like, there was water, but there was only a little bit of water. So I thought maybe some shampoo would, like, help ease it. So I, like, used a bunch of shampoo in there.

Like, conditioner, like, slick it down so it could just... Lubricate that burrito so it'll shoot out. I see the logic. I see the fucking logic. It was just a total mess. I don't think I should talk about it anymore. Oh, my God. Kurt.

You know she's not making this up. There were way too many details. But at this point, I can see why you want the $500. Yeah. See, I think this is better than what we thought it was. It's good. It's a mess of bears, ain't it? I mean, yeah.

I'm glad that you guys can laugh about it. I mean, Curry, you got to think, like a toilet Mentos burrito, that's better than some actual burritos that they sell at fast food places, so. I'm so sorry. I am not as angry. That's good. Look at you laughing. Look at that, Curry.

I feel a little bad. Like, I couldn't imagine if that was me, what I would do. I mean, I'd probably just tell the person. But, you know, if you're drunk, if you're drunk and we were drunk. Yeah, you're just freaking out. Will you, like, help him pay the bill or anything? Well, if you're willing to pay his bill, then we will be willing to pay your bill on your next date. Because we'd like to send you out one more time and we'll pay

for it okay obviously you're into it i'm not asking you i'm asking kurt kurt what do you say if she pays you back the 500 for the plumbing look she doesn't even have to pay back a whole amount if she gave half i'd be happy with that. And I feel really bad. And obviously, if she felt good enough to talk about all this and email you guys, I mean, I think that's fine. Okay, so that's a yes. Yeah, just not at my house.

Well, congratulations, Megan. You got yourself a second date. You're like the Burrito Bowl winner. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists,

especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky

credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts