Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Blurry Love

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

Vision loss is the LEAST of this couple’s worries…If anything bad comes out of this it is NOT our fault. This guy was given a fair WARNING as to what might happen to him…. Listen in the Podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Second Date Update. Whenever we do Second Date Updates, we always find out where hot people meet each other. Okay, yeah. Places like the clubs, the gyms, the broccoli store. What? There's a whole store for that stuff? Hot people love their broccoli. They always eat healthy. They got hot somehow.

Yeah. And you would know about the broccoli store if you were a hot person, so. Yeah, I don't know about it. Oh, that's why I don't know. Yeah, dang it. I know about the Cheeto store. Is that the same?

Not quite. Maybe there's one more place that hot people like to meet up. That's the optometrist. What? No. Isn't that an eye doctor? That's the optometrist. What? No, it's not an eye doctor. That's where Melissa says that she met her date. And I can't wait to get the lowdown on this.

Melissa, how would you rate this guy on a scale from the top of the eye chart to the bottom? What are we talking about? It's all blurry. I don't know. It's the big E. The big E. Okay. Everyone can see the big E. So it's like he doesn't look better in one eye than the other. It's not your right eye or your left eye. It's both eyes. Right. I spent a lot of time with the optometrist because I have really bad eyes. So maybe I only got that.

What's the name of Mr. Big E? Gus. What? Actually. What? Gus. Gus. Gus.

U.S. Gus. You know what is funny? The name Gus, you have to like a guy named Gus. Yeah. Gus's are cool. You can't meet a Gus that's not nice. Was he nice? He was so nice. Yeah.

Who doesn't want to hang out with Gus? All right. So how did you and Gus come to meet? Basically, we were both in the waiting room at our optometrist office. You guys bumped into each other blindly, and you're like, oh. Your eyes dilated actually yeah people have terrible eyesight but at some point i don't remember who started talking to who first but we both started talking about how bad our vision is and he actually made a really

kind of creepy but funny comment okay what'd he say he, my eyes are so bad, I wish I could trade my eyes for yours. Oh, so you want to take my eyeballs. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, and he actually said, I would kill for your eyes. Oh. Oh, no, that's creepy. This guy's a keeper.

Did you tell him that that was a little off-putting, or were you like, yeah, baby, here's my number? Here's my left eyeball. Well, I could tell he was joking, so I was just like, you shouldn't say that. You don't know me. He was like, yeah, I guess that was kind of creepy. So what, is that when he made the move to ask you out on a date? No, not quite.

So he went in for his appointment before I did. So he actually left a note for the receptionist on his way out with his number on it. Oh, that's pretty cute. That's a bold move. Okay, so did you guys go out on a date then? Yeah, we actually did. We went to a mini golf pub. Oh, that's a great date. It's always

good on a first date to have an activity. What's a mini golf club? A pub. I'm imagining like a country club but just really, really tiny. You drank beer and you played mini golf is what she did. I'm imagining like a country club, but just really, really tiny. You drank beer and you played mini golf is what she did. I think my idea sounds like more fun. Me too, dog.

How was it? The mini golf pub was a lot of fun. Okay. What was like a big highlight for you? Well, I really liked our conversation even though it was kind of quiet. So what's a conversation if the other person isn't talking? What do you mean by that? You liked hearing yourself talk.

Well, we kind of bonded because he told me that it was his first real date since his wife dumped him. Oh, that's a fancy way to say divorce. Yeah, and I've actually told him I was married before also. So, you know, we bonded over the fact that it's really hard to date again. It's awkward. Oh, man. But that might be it. Like, maybe he's not calling you back because it was his first date.

You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe he wants to play the field a little bit. Maybe he's not ready for you. Or he doesn't want used goods. That's not what I was saying at all, Jeffrey. Oh. I don't know what you're saying. I mean, yeah, I thought maybe that was why.

But at the end of the night, it was kind of weird because he seemed like he wanted to kiss me. Like, he was looking at me and, you know, the look on his face seemed like he was thinking that, so I just said, you know, if you want to kiss me, I'll probably let you. Oh. I like that. It's very coy.

But he was just like, maybe in a minute, and then he never did, and the date just ended in a hug. What? He didn't go in for the kiss then? Ouch. That probably means he doesn't want to kiss you. And maybe in a minute, who puts it off?

Who's procrastinating a first kiss? He's really nervous. I don't know. I mean, here's the thing. He's a really, really good looking guy. We did have good conversation. I just think maybe I did scare him. Maybe it was too forward for him, or maybe he freaked out and realized he's not ready to date.

I don't know. It's possible that he feels bad that he didn't take the opportunity to kiss you, and so now he's just too afraid to even try. Yeah, maybe, but I've been texting him, so I don't understand why, you know, I've given him the option to still hang out. So he should know that I'm interested. Yeah. And you won't pressure him to kiss you next time, huh? Right.

All right. Well, we're going to play a song. We'll come back, call Gus, and try to get your second date update. All right? All right. Sounds good. All right. And if it doesn't work out, then maybe we'll have to go back to the optometrist's office

and find another blindie to go out with, okay? Blindie. Right. Okay. Hold on, Melissa. Second Date Update. If you're just tuning in for today's Second Date Update, we're on the phone with Melissa. Melissa is a sucker for shy, recently divorced men with terrible eyesight.

Ooh. Turns me on. Brownie points if they hint at stealing her body parts, too. That was her description. Yeah. Really? Because she met Gus at the optometrist's office where he joked about how he would kill to get her eyes. She thought that was cute.

So they went out to a mini golf bar and bonded over the fact they'd both been divorced. But then there was a weird moment towards the end of the night where Melissa said something. What did you say again, Melissa? I said, you know, if you want to kiss me, I'll probably let you. It sounds like a good line. And did he kiss you? No, he did not. No kisser for Melissa.

Oh, you've been waiting to say that the whole time. I did. It took me like seven minutes to think of that one, so I'm glad I got it in. Oh, man, Melissa. I think that it's pretty confident of you to even hit him back after he didn't

kiss you. What she means to say is it was stupid. I'm not saying it's stupid, but I would have felt pretty like, I don't know, rejected. So good on you for persevering and trying to get a date with this guy. She's politely calling you dumb. Okay.

Well, I know that I said he was quiet and everything, but I really, really like him. I mean, that's why I'm calling to try and get him on the phone. You said he was hot too, so that's probably... He basically has the best combination of great looks and personality. Okay, quiet guys. Quiet and hot. Quiet and hot. That's why I like him too.

Quiet and hot. Just shut up and be beautiful over there, Gus. All right. Well, let's give Gus a call and see if we can try and get you a second date update, okay? Great. Thank you so much. All right, here we go. Hello?

Hi, can I speak to Gus, please? This is Gus. Hey, Gus. This is Young Jeffrey. I work on the radio. How can I help you? I'm calling you to talk to you about your dating life. Do you have a minute to talk to us? Uh, sure. Nice. I was hoping you'd say that.

Why would you want to talk to me about my dating life? Well, because somebody told us that you're really hot and good at dating. Well, I am really hot. Who would say that? You're like, who wouldn't say that is what you mean, Gus. Well, we got an email from a girl named Melissa. Melissa. Melissa. Yeah, she said she recently went on a date with you, and now you're not responding when she's trying to text you and call you. So she wants to know why.

We had a great time, but it got a little intense. She did say that there was a little bit of an awkward moment where maybe she said something that she shouldn't have. And she mentioned that, you know, if you tried to kiss me right now, I probably wouldn't say no or something along those lines. And then you didn't kiss her. Yeah. You rejected her. Yeah, I just, I felt a little awkward at that moment, but that's not the reason why I didn't call her back.

Oh my God. You knew you were not going to call her back even before then? Yeah, we kind of had a conversation earlier, and it got me a bit worried just talking about my ex-wife and her ex-relationships. Oh, she mentioned that too, right? Yeah, she said that she was divorced. You don't want to date a divorced woman?

Well, I mean, I'm divorced as well, but it's just the fact that her other partners are deceased. They died. There's two of them. What? She told me they passed the same way, but she wouldn't tell me exactly how, and that really got me thinking all kinds of stuff. Wait, hold on.

Yeah. She told you she has two ex-husbands. Apparently her ex-husband's fine, but her two ex-partners uh passed away and i didn't want to be number three i don't know what happened like she murdered like that's your assumption is that she's the one that did the job she didn't want to say what happened oh that's a little shady it's not it could be something really personal. What's personal? Yeah, you're on a date. This is the time to get personal with someone.

Yeah, she started talking about it, and then she just stopped, and she just kind of acted like she said too much already. Whoa. Okay. That's kind of sketchy. You guys, I think you all are watching too many true crime documentaries on, like, Netflix or something. I mean, that's a terrible coincidence.

And maybe it's just because it's none of your business. Like, why would you think that you're going to die if you date her? That's silly. I mean, people die all the time from these weird stuff. That's why they make these true crime documentaries. Yeah, I saw this one where a bunch of guys were poisoned by this lady named the Black Widow, and she did it for fun. It could be her.

Sweet Melissa took you mini-golfing, but on the side wanted to poison you. That's how she reels you in. She can barely see, but she'll kill you. God, this is crazy. You need to be cautious. Well, Gus, don't you want to ask her about this directly? Well, I kind of did, and she didn't want to talk about it. So, I mean, there's not much more I can say.

Well, maybe she'd be more open to talking about it now because she has been on the other line listening. Get the f*** out of here. What the hell? Sorry, she's really there. She wants to talk to you, Melissa. Oh, f***. Hi, Gus. Hi, Melissa. I didn't know you were on the other line. Yeah, I can tell. Oh.

Hi. Oh, my God. Hi. Melissa, aren't you pissed? He thinks that you're like a serial killer. I'm not pissed. I guess I didn't want to talk about it. I guess I didn't think about how weird that would sound for you, Gus.

Yeah. Well, it was weird that you didn't want to talk about it. Yeah. Okay, well, it's about to get weirder. Oh, no. Wait, is this where you admit that you actually did it? Confession? No, no.

So, I can't believe I'm even saying this right now. My husband's fine. Well, ex-husband. But I had two boyfriends who died during passion. What? Passion? What does that mean? What's passion?

Is that like a ride? No. No, like intimacy. What? Wait, you have two ex-boyfriends who died in the sack with you? Yes. What? What kind of crazy? How old are these ex-boyfriends? Oh in the sack with you? Yes. What? What kind of crazy?

How old are these ex-boyfriends? Oh, my gosh. That's a good point. They're not that old. I guess I can be a lot for some people. What? What's not that old? Like 70?

No. Like healthy men don't die in the sack unless you're doing something crazy. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. She put them in a sack? No. No.

Oh, my God, Gus. In the bedroom. They're pretty. Wait, wait. Melissa. Yeah. Is on. Hold on. She put them in a sack. No, no. Oh, my God. In the bedroom. Pretty. Wait, wait, Melissa. Yeah. Is this recent? No, not really. I mean, I've been married since then and he's fine. I mean, everything worked out except the divorce part, obviously. But he was fine. And I would have told Gus if we went out more. But I really don't like to talk about it right away, you know? I mean, talking about the deaths of your boyfriends in this bedroom are not the best, like, first date topic, I would assume. Or it's a pretty good brag.

Like, you're so adventurous and wild in there that it killed two guys. So, Melissa, I just want to get some clarification. Did they die because you're, like, really good at that stuff, or was it like an accident? Did you drown them? I don't know what your bedroom activities look like usually, Gus, but now I'm afraid for Melissa. I was thinking a heart attack. What are we talking here, Melissa? Yeah, I guess I could just be a lot for some men

and so I just, I usually have to warn my relationships going into it. Wow. Oh my god. Now, Gus, does that sound scary or more like a challenge for you? I'm not sure. I mean, it sounds like a good thing. What? She's so kinky

you might die, bro. Mount Everest is not small wait guys um you're not just interested me in me because of what you heard about me right it's not just because these two guys died in bed with me right no those aren't the only two reasons. There's only one reason there, Gus. No, I'm not just interested in you because I might die being with you. All right. Okay. Good sell.

Was that good enough for you, Melissa? Yeah, I don't know. I just, you know, when people hear that about me, I don't want them to think of me differently. You know, it's a little bit different thing to hear, but I still dig you. Okay. How did the murder thing make it better? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe I'm a little bit more interested and intrigued. All right. Well, in that case, Gus, we'd love to send you and Melissa out on another date. We'll pay for it. I mean, we won't pay for the funeral costs after she kills you in the bedroom, but the date could be fun. Yeah, well, I don't think it's me you're going to have to be worried about. Said the other two guys, too. I mean, in the bedroom, not the funeral parlor.

So is that a yes? Is that what you're saying, Gus? You want to go out with her again? Heck yeah. Alright. Melissa, we got you a second date. Great. Thank you. Dude, I thought this whole thing was ridiculous and now I feel like we're like some accomplices

to murder or something. I'm very concerned. Gus, I'm just letting you know that if things get to that point, we're going to have to talk about it and you might even need to sign or something. Like, I'm very concerned. Gus, I'm just letting you know that if things get to that point, we're going to have to talk about it, and you might even need to sign a waiver. What? Oh, wow. I've got the pen in my hand. Tell me what to sign.

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